Twinkle485
Well-known member
I’ve been with my partner 13 years and he has not bought me one single birthday card present or Christmas present
never nothing 
- Notice
never nothing 
I fell it’s almost shameful to admit If you don’t like Christmas.
like there must be something wrong with you if you don’t enjoy it.
it doesn’t mean your broken and it doesn’t make you a miserable Scrooge.
I find it sad. I don’t enjoy Christmas, I did in the past but not for a long time.
il do enjoy being around the kids, but over all it’s a hard time of year, not just for me but for so many.
like there must be something wrong with you if you don’t enjoy it.
it doesn’t mean your broken and it doesn’t make you a miserable Scrooge.
I find it sad. I don’t enjoy Christmas, I did in the past but not for a long time.
il do enjoy being around the kids, but over all it’s a hard time of year, not just for me but for so many.
Bumblebee
Chatty Member
I mean i don’t hate Christmas and it doesn’t make me sad. I’ve just never been that fussed about it.
As an adult I find it disappointing. I never get what I’ve asked for no matter how much or little it costs. DH just seems to show no drive to buy me a present. He only has to buy for me so he has no excuse.
So yeah as an adult it seems I make all the effort and no one gives a second thought to me. That might sound selfish and ungrateful but that’s how it makes me feel.
As an adult I find it disappointing. I never get what I’ve asked for no matter how much or little it costs. DH just seems to show no drive to buy me a present. He only has to buy for me so he has no excuse.
So yeah as an adult it seems I make all the effort and no one gives a second thought to me. That might sound selfish and ungrateful but that’s how it makes me feel.
bubbletea123
VIP Member
You should both do it, it can actually be really beneficial.No bubbletea I haven’t. I have sent lists and emails and links to items.
He said this evening ‘I thought you wanted UGG slippers?’ Uh since when. We’ve been married over 20 years and i’m the person who takes shoes and socks off ASAP when I get home as I can’t bare having hot feet.
Honestly, I would sit down and say: "I feel like you don't pay attention to my needs or wants. I sent you a list to help as I know that it can be difficult to think of gifts. When you don't pay attention, it makes me feel unheard." or something like that.
I find saying the phrase "I feel" or "it makes me feel" really helps in a conversation like that.
Ha, I was going to say something similar. i enjoy the sense of a shared experience, that when you’re at the shops on Christmas Eve everyone’s doing a similar thing, thinking a similar thing, have similar plans for the next few days, does that make sense? It’s a kind of nice communal feeling. And I like the daily grind stopping for this one time a year.
I’m very aware when I say “everyone” it doesn’t really mean everyone. Homeless people, lonely people. And my Christmases as an adult are actually not much fun at all because of my dysfunctional family.
My aunt is a very lonely person and it’s also her birthday so it’s a sad day for her. But she takes her loneliness out on us being critical, scathing and generally mean. She’s like that all year round but December 25th is the worst for obvious reasons. I’m sympathetic but at the time it can be a struggle when it’s happening , particularly when she lashes out at my 95 year old grandma...
That’s why the pressure of christmas is definitely too much. Someone earlier in the thread said if you’re struggling in any way it’s so tough. I completely agree with that and I think struggling doesn’t just mean financially. If you’re struggling with loneliness, depression etc like my aunt it’s torture (especially when it’s your birthday too.)
But as social media and showing off expensive gifts becomes ever more part of our lives, I can’t see it getting better. I hope when I have children I won’t feel compelled to spoil them. Of course kids will always want lots of crap but when I was one I understood that I was never going to get everything I wanted, and I appreciated what I did.
I like that saying ‘something they want something they need, something to wear, something to read.’ It seems pretty sensible.
Followtheyellowbrickroad
Active member
I’ll be happy when it’s all over ... I can then sit in me jarmers with prosecco and sleep
Orange Creme
VIP Member
No it never has been. I'm a bit of a bah humbug deep down 
I've always liked Easter though 
I've always liked Easter though 
Apple In My Pie
VIP Member
Magical, no, not really. I find aspects of Christmas really difficult - the change in routine, the expectations of presents (I am rubbish at buying gifts and have often been laughed at by the recipient) and how consumerist it all is. But as a little girl I loved Christmas. (Who doesn’t?!)
I was spoiled but so happy and it brings so many good memories. I enjoy spending time with my family and get to see family members I wouldn’t see at other times of year through work/distance and it just reminds me of the happy times I had as a kid. So, I enjoy it but I don’t think it’s magical and could give or take it. I often think I’d quite like it if we had christmas once every four years or something - then the build up would make it more exciting imo
I was spoiled but so happy and it brings so many good memories. I enjoy spending time with my family and get to see family members I wouldn’t see at other times of year through work/distance and it just reminds me of the happy times I had as a kid. So, I enjoy it but I don’t think it’s magical and could give or take it. I often think I’d quite like it if we had christmas once every four years or something - then the build up would make it more exciting imo
Twinkle485
Well-known member
If you feel that pressured tell them all to bring a piece of food each Christmas should not make you feel like that.
bubbletea123
VIP Member
Have you read the book Love Languages or done the quiz? It is amazing. Have you told DH how it makes you feel? I wouldn't stand for that, lol. I would make a list and email it to him.
Bumblebee
Chatty Member
No bubbletea I haven’t. I have sent lists and emails and links to items.
He said this evening ‘I thought you wanted UGG slippers?’ Uh since when. We’ve been married over 20 years and i’m the person who takes shoes and socks off ASAP when I get home as I can’t bare having hot feet.
He said this evening ‘I thought you wanted UGG slippers?’ Uh since when. We’ve been married over 20 years and i’m the person who takes shoes and socks off ASAP when I get home as I can’t bare having hot feet.
bexgreen1983
VIP Member
I enjoy it yes but I feel the pressure for it to be amazing is ridiculous.
I utterly hate how excited some people get from f#cking August. Plus christmas is in winter and winter is shi#e and long so why people count down to christmas is beyond me as it just means closer to January and February which are long and rubbish!
I utterly hate how excited some people get from f#cking August. Plus christmas is in winter and winter is shi#e and long so why people count down to christmas is beyond me as it just means closer to January and February which are long and rubbish!
D
Deleted member
Guest
I love December,putting my tree up and the sitting all cosy in the dark nights. I love going a wee festive day out to browse the Christmas market- don’t have a huge family so don’t have lots to buy for. I work with kids so it’s a fun time of year and we close for a fortnight which is the best thing ever. Christmas day in itself is pants if I’m honest other than dinner,my other half works it and son is a teen and can’t be arsed with it. But everything else about Christmas is 
bubbletea123
VIP Member
WHAT? I must have gotten really lucky? Hahaha.I’ve been with my partner 13 years and he has not bought me one single birthday card present or Christmas present
Twinkle485
Well-known member
Seriously
his addicted to work so is never around and doesn’t agree with buying people gifts for the sake of a birthday or Christmas. Obviously we get the kids stuff but he just doesn’t see the point.
bubbletea123
VIP Member
Yes. Could you do pot luck style where everyone takes something? Make a list of what you need, stuffing, yorkies, veggies, etc. xI’m a parent and if it wasn’t for the kids I wouldn’t bother. Used to love it, but as I’ve gotten older I can now understand why my older relatives used to moan about it. It’s lost most of its meaning. People getting into debt for one day, parents trying to keep up with each other over how many Christmas events/activities they can take their kids to in the build up (events which are so expensive). All the stupid fads/trends like Christmas Eve boxes, Twat on the Shelf, matching festive pyjamas. It’s sickening. Winter itself is a hard time for a lot of people anyway. I always get a bad case of SAD, it feels never-ending. It’s no sooner done and dusted then it’s December once more and so the whole rigmarole starts all over again.
I love my kids’ joy when they see their new toys, but they have autism. If we didn’t make a big song and dance of it every year, then they wouldn’t know any different.
You should them to all chip in and help. Ugh. I hate that it always gets left to one person. You’re gracious enough to host for them, I’m sure they wouldn’t mind doing their bit.
My best Christmases are the ones when we don’t have any visitors, stay in our pjs all day, eat good food, watch festive telly, sod the cleaning and let the kids play with their toys.
