HateLiars
New member
I got married at 16. Had 2 children and stayed in that relationship for over 25 years. I can’t explain to others exactly why I stayed so long ! I had a wonderful family network and my parents would have helped me in any/every way possible if I had chosen to leave my marriage at any time. But I didn’t, I was not only physically but mentally abused but without doubt I 100% loved my husband and lied, protected and sided with him. A lot of times, making myself look “the bad one”So I've been thinking about this... what I dont understand is his family/wife bit. I mean I dont actually understand amy of it but know theres something happening and we're on the brink of finding out something HUGE.
I mean sure Stephs stood by him. Do we even know if they live in the same house?! I keep thinking if my own dad came out... my mother would be understandably devastated and hurt that basically 36 years of marriage was a lie. She'd never speak to him again, one of them would move out straight away. I would be somewhat confused tbh and want questions. The way he described coming out to his family sounded like a fairly ordinary family domestic we have at Christmas.
And why leave his wedding ring on for this past week?! And Friday night is gay night?! Surely shes complicit and knows. Unless hes so manipulative and so much of a bastard that hes got her wrapped around his little finger and she's been so brainwashed that it would be for the greater good for him and their family that she doesn't say anything and they stay married for appearances because that's what he wants.
I feel like hes been forced to come out as gay but it just doesn't sit right. Maybe it was an open relationship in the end and they both had some free reign but the flat and MM? She must have known. Unless she didnt. And this all happened and he was forced to come clean to Steph/family and just came out as being gay as it was an easy explanation and that what's hes sticking with.
But then Saying they have no secrets etc and then saying their entire marriage is a lie in that interview. Utterly contradictory and basically NOTHING makes sense at all. Its hurting my head thinking about it all.
He had numerous affairs, I had plenty of bruises, black eyes and have lost count of the times he strangled me as I thought this is the last time, I’m going to die, but I couldn’t stop loving or wanting him and our children to be together.
‘It’s been over 10 years since I left him and I am in a wonderful relationship with a man who truly loves me. But .... I can’t seem to put blame on my ex for what he put me through. Was it for money... not at all, was it for security , no, as looking back now, my family was my security. I could go into more detail but it would not make sense to anyone else. It doesn’t really make that much sense to me all these years later, and I lived it ! .To me, it was just love.
The man I loved was a narcissist in every way, shape or form and I fought for him, fought for us ! Until one day I realised, it wasn’t love, it was my children’s dad I wanted. Sadly it wasn’t until recently they told me they wished I had left before they grew up and moved away. They love their dad, why shouldn’t they, he never hurt them, he hurt me... I have a guilt all these years later that I did the wrong thing by protecting the wrong person. So if Steph is a so called beard.. then to me, so be it, because she has been and is aware of what her life is about {maybe not of EVERYTHING, actually, I pray not everything} but not because she is blind to love. I get most wont agree with me, but that’s fine.