Perimenopause #4 post your woes

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Hi all, I’ve been peri for around three years, symptoms are pretty much everything 😩 was offered HRT in the early days but didn’t go for it, no particular reason. In this time I have dealt with a massive loss, that being my eldest child so dealing with grief on top of all this has been difficult.
I’ve noticed recently that my face has become red/blotchy sometimes spotty, put that down to peri.
Today has been awful with the hot flushes, jumper on because I’m cold, jumper off as I’m over heating throughout the day.
Although I drift off to sleep quite easily whilst I’m reading my kindle I wake multiple times throughout the night, sometimes for a wee other times because I’m soaked from sweating.
Vivid dreams are on another level, not sure if this is peri or part of my grieving journey.
Periods are like being a teenager again, awfully heavy, down to 23 day cycles.
Itching 😩 the worst, ears, legs, hands, neck, recently down below, had to google that one and thankfully it can be a symptom.
No interest in sex whatsoever! At this point I’d happily become a nun.
Cry over the slightest thing although I do think this is heightened because of my grief. The lead up to my period I get so down, sad, moody.
Brain fog, oh my god I can walk in to a room to get something and can not for the life of me remember what! My brain just feels like a big ball of fluff.
Weight gain, well more so middle area weight gain
There are probably many more symptoms that I just can’t think of.
Seriously considering going to the gp and asking for HRT but I just can’t be bothered, that’s another thing I can’t be bothered to do anything, just want to stay home and not see or face anyone, that’s defo part of grieving.

The loss of libido has really shocked me, something I always read about but literally bam, gone. Nothing. Not an iota of a flutter.

Fascinating in a way, but blimey, it happened so quickly and I can’t even imagine it coming back.
 
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Peri has really got it's claws in. Pmt time again, which has gradually been getting worse as the months go by. Have suffered depression my whole life, but it is worse then ever. I get low and fed up, but at the same time have zero motivation to get out and do anything. Constant headaches. Awful rage. And since the stomach pain and throwing up I suffered on Thursday, I am constantly breathless and dizzy and shaky
 
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Hi all, I’ve been peri for around three years, symptoms are pretty much everything 😩 was offered HRT in the early days but didn’t go for it, no particular reason. In this time I have dealt with a massive loss, that being my eldest child so dealing with grief on top of all this has been difficult.
I’ve noticed recently that my face has become red/blotchy sometimes spotty, put that down to peri.
Today has been awful with the hot flushes, jumper on because I’m cold, jumper off as I’m over heating throughout the day.
Although I drift off to sleep quite easily whilst I’m reading my kindle I wake multiple times throughout the night, sometimes for a wee other times because I’m soaked from sweating.
Vivid dreams are on another level, not sure if this is peri or part of my grieving journey.
Periods are like being a teenager again, awfully heavy, down to 23 day cycles.
Itching 😩 the worst, ears, legs, hands, neck, recently down below, had to google that one and thankfully it can be a symptom.
No interest in sex whatsoever! At this point I’d happily become a nun.
Cry over the slightest thing although I do think this is heightened because of my grief. The lead up to my period I get so down, sad, moody.
Brain fog, oh my god I can walk in to a room to get something and can not for the life of me remember what! My brain just feels like a big ball of fluff.
Weight gain, well more so middle area weight gain
There are probably many more symptoms that I just can’t think of.
Seriously considering going to the gp and asking for HRT but I just can’t be bothered, that’s another thing I can’t be bothered to do anything, just want to stay home and not see or face anyone, that’s defo part of grieving.
Oh I am so so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine the pain you’re going through all while dealing with the awful transition perimenopause brings along. All the symptoms you’ve described are definitely peri and not just magnified by your grief, maybe a chat with your gp might help. But not being bothered to do anything is definitely not just a part of your grieving, I’m the same, I could quite happily stay home everyday and not speak to a soul. I have no desire to do anything or go anywhere which makes me even more depressed as I’m so afraid I’ll end up lonely.
 
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The ear itching is driving me INSANE I'd quite happily do a van gogh if it meant my ears would stop itching every single night!!!!
 
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The loss of libido is one I didn’t think of, I can imagine that’s a tough one too. Does it come back for women?
 
The ear itching is driving me INSANE I'd quite happily do a van gogh if it meant my ears would stop itching every single night!!!!
I have read online of some women using the vaginal estrogen cream on the outer ear to stop the itching, apparently it's a low estrogen symptom.
 
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I eat healthy, I take walks and I am at the gym a few times a week. No matter what I do, my belly just looks out of control. I keep thinking that I look like when a cartoon character has eaten loads of food and then has a giant food shape belly ( think jerry the mouse eating a giant cheese and being cheese shape). It is driving me insane.


I work in customer services and it is getting so hard to control how I interact with customers. I feel a lot of anger and irritation when people ask me stupid questions or have done something careless and then make it our problem. I worry that one day I will fly off the handle and say something that will get me in trouble or that I will just cry at my desk
 
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I eat healthy, I take walks and I am at the gym a few times a week. No matter what I do, my belly just looks out of control. I keep thinking that I look like when a cartoon character has eaten loads of food and then has a giant food shape belly ( think jerry the mouse eating a giant cheese and being cheese shape). It us driving me insane.
I have this too and it is by far the worst symptom I've experienced. I've also noticed it's worse when I eat anything related to peppers, which is bizarre, I look heavily pregnant!
 
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I eat healthy, I take walks and I am at the gym a few times a week. No matter what I do, my belly just looks out of control. I keep thinking that I look like when a cartoon character has eaten loads of food and then has a giant food shape belly ( think jerry the mouse eating a giant cheese and being cheese shape). It is driving me insane.


I work in customer services and it is getting so hard to control how I interact with customers. I feel a lot of anger and irritation when people ask me stupid questions or have done something careless and then make it our problem. I worry that one day I will fly off the handle and say something that will get me in trouble or that I will just cry at my desk
Same. While I haven’t been exercising as much in recent months due to injury I’ve been trying to watch what I eat. But the weight is going to my tummy and upper arms.
Someone a few weeks ago joked was I pregnant and it really really got to me. I’m early 40s with a child in college, I don’t want another and have the coil. I felt so self conscious of my appearance on a recent social outing. I even took a pregnancy test to be sure I wasn’t. But I remember back to my mum when she was my age and she put on a good bit of weight in her 40s and has never really lost it.
 
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I have this too and it is by far the worst symptom I've experienced. I've also noticed it's worse when I eat anything related to peppers, which is bizarre, I look heavily pregnant!
I'm not saying this is what you have but, it's quite common to develop food intolerances during perimenopause. I also suffered with itchiness, hives (mainly on my face) and a whole list of other allergic type reactions which I now know were a result of the histamine intolerance that I acquired when my hormones went haywire. I noticed things I'd always eaten were suddenly a problem - I'd get awful gas and/or bloating amongst other things. I was also eating "healthy" but it turns out (very helpfully) that it's often "healthy" foods that are some of the main culprits for being high in histamine or that can prevent the break down of histamine.

In the end, I did an elimination diet. I cut out foods I suspected were triggers for a few weeks, worked out what was “safe” for me, and stuck to that for a while. Then I gradually reintroduced other foods one at a time, watching for reactions like bloating, skin issues, fatigue, headaches, palpitations or mood changes.

Depending on how I reacted, I either kept the food in (accepting I might get mild symptoms like gas or bloating and just rotating it occasionally), or removed it completely if the reaction was too strong. Every now and again, I’d retry foods I’d struggled with to see if anything’s changed. I can now eat a full range of foods again, although I still need to be mindful not to overload on high-histamine foods, as that can occasionally trigger a flare-up.
 
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I'm not saying this is what you have but, it's quite common to develop food intolerances during perimenopause. I also suffered with itchiness, hives (mainly on my face) and a whole list of other allergic type reactions which I now know were a result of the histamine intolerance that I acquired when my hormones went haywire. I noticed things I'd always eaten were suddenly a problem - I'd get awful gas and/or bloating amongst other things. I was also eating "healthy" but it turns out (very helpfully) that it's often "healthy" foods that are some of the main culprits for being high in histamine or that can prevent the break down of histamine.

In the end, I did an elimination diet. I cut out foods I suspected were triggers for a few weeks, worked out what was “safe” for me, and stuck to that for a while. Then I gradually reintroduced other foods one at a time, watching for reactions like bloating, skin issues, fatigue, headaches, palpitations or mood changes.

Depending on how I reacted, I either kept the food in (accepting I might get mild symptoms like gas or bloating and just rotating it occasionally), or removed it completely if the reaction was too strong. Every now and again, I’d retry foods I’d struggled with to see if anything’s changed. I can now eat a full range of foods again, although I still need to be mindful not to overload on high-histamine foods, as that can occasionally trigger a flare-up.
I think I'm going to have to try this. I have already cut out peppers in their whole form and it did make a bit of a difference in that I wasn't bloating horrendously, but I'm on holiday at the moment in a country that loves Paprika and I ate a soup last night laced with the stuff and my stomach ballooned 🤣 I need to have a good look at my diet and see if there are any other foods that could be affecting me.

It's interesting you say about eating healthily and the connection with bloating as I generally have a healthy diet but get awful bloating, yet when I eat less healthily, I don't seem to be affected as badly.

My diet hasn't changed much in the last 3 years, yet I have gained over 3 stone, so I suspect it is mainly due to hormonal changes.
 
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I think I'm going to have to try this. I have already cut out peppers in their whole form and it did make a bit of a difference in that I wasn't bloating horrendously, but I'm on holiday at the moment in a country that loves Paprika and I ate a soup last night laced with the stuff and my stomach ballooned 🤣 I need to have a good look at my diet and see if there are any other foods that could be affecting me.

It's interesting you say about eating healthily and the connection with bloating as I generally have a healthy diet but get awful bloating, yet when I eat less healthily, I don't seem to be affected as badly.

My diet hasn't changed much in the last 3 years, yet I have gained over 3 stone, so I suspect it is mainly due to hormonal changes.

Honestly, BIB, I was practically poisoning myself at one point in my attempt to be healthy. I was literally eating ALL the wrong stuff so I do recommend an elimination diet if you can be arsed, but I won't lie - it's a bit of a ball-ache :D (though definitely worth doing for me).
 
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Can I ask what foods triggered you out of interest? I am finding that I cannot tolerate baked beans at all, the wind and pain and trips to the loo are outrageous and also fruit, I had a few mandarins the other day and it cleared me out!
 
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Yep lentils and beans were a trigger. I love Dahl and made myself a huge pot one week when my husband was away, with the intention of having it a couple of times that week... I only had one small bowl and I honestly thought I'd poisoned myself the reaction was so severe (this was before I knew what I was dealing with).

Other triggers for me were; spinach. mushrooms, courgettes, tinned fish (like tuna, mackerel, sardines), tomatoes, tomato based sauces, aged / processed meats, anything fermented, aged cheeses, strawberries, citrus fruits, some bread, and most alcohol. There's probably others I'm forgetting but these were the ones that spring to mind.
 
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The loss of libido has really shocked me, something I always read about but literally bam, gone. Nothing. Not an iota of a flutter.

Fascinating in a way, but blimey, it happened so quickly and I can’t even imagine it coming back.
If you use a little bit of testogel it probably will help this.
 
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Honestly, BIB, I was practically poisoning myself at one point in my attempt to be healthy. I was literally eating ALL the wrong stuff so I do recommend an elimination diet if you can be arsed, but I won't lie - it's a bit of a ball-ache :D (though definitely worth doing for me).
I think I need to try something... I know it will be difficult as though I'm not a particularly fussy eater, I don't eat a wide range of different foods...I like what I like! Peppers were always a bit of a staple for me to bulk out veg in sauces and soups etc. I might just have to live on freezer food for a few weeks and see if that helps🤣
 
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Anyone else get weird day dreaming terrors? Can be stood washing the pots and all of a sudden in my mind i can see me going to cross the road but the green man falls off the pole in to the road so I step out to grab him and get hit by a lorry. I realise I'm stood holding my breathe in fear then carry on washing the pots 😵💫
 
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I eat healthy, I take walks and I am at the gym a few times a week. No matter what I do, my belly just looks out of control. I keep thinking that I look like when a cartoon character has eaten loads of food and then has a giant food shape belly ( think jerry the mouse eating a giant cheese and being cheese shape). It is driving me insane.


I work in customer services and it is getting so hard to control how I interact with customers. I feel a lot of anger and irritation when people ask me stupid questions or have done something careless and then make it our problem. I worry that one day I will fly off the handle and say something that will get me in trouble or that I will just cry at my desk
My belly is the same, I feel ok in my own mirror when I look at myself but then when outside whether trying soemthing on or see myself in a mirror my belly is massive, it’s depressing as really trying to cut back and be healthy
 
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For those of us struggling with the weight distribution, there is a way to shift it.

Weight lifting is the way to go 100%. Cardio, walking, Pilates, yoga is all well & good alongside but weights is the most important thing. Weight lifting also changes the metabolic rate that your body burns large, the more muscle you have the more large you burn.

At our age we need to reconfigure our large/muscle composition. You may not even necessarily lose much in terms of lbs but the inches will drop and body wise you will look totally different.

Increasing strength is also good for bones which we know osteoporosis is a real risk factor to women as we age.

Joining a gym isn’t a given for this either, you can get a selection of free weights and do workouts at home.

There are some brilliant drs on Instagram/youtube etc who give great info.
 
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