Peri menopause moans

[Marshallmum1982]

After seeing so many comments on various posts here about peri, I thought it might be useful to have a thread for us to have a moan and exchange advice!
I'll start!
Current moans -
-aching hips
- round belly and constant bloat
- headaches
- irritability with everyone
- anxiety popping its head up every few days

Hopefully this can help some of us just let off a bit of steam or get some advice from others going through the same!

 

[Woolmercardington]

Is anyone else just in a constant state of apathy? Like really physically and mentally lethargic? Just can't be arsed with anything?

I've had quite a bit of annual leave to use up this past month and I've literally not done anything remotely enjoyable or productive. I've just been lurking around the house like a disappointed ghost or dossing on the couch with a face like a slapped arse. Then going back to bed in the middle of the afternoon to have a break from the boredom, and also because I'm ridiculously knackered from doing sod all.

 

[Randy77]

Just want to give a massive hug to everyone. Peri is awful and so glad we have platforms where we can discuss our concerns, get advice and just be supportive. x

 

[Upintheair83]

Didn't know whether it was right to post here, but I feel comfy with you guys. But I got my wedding photos back yesterday. And I'm absolutely devastated. I just look.....old.
I'm 40 and obviously in peri from the symptoms I have and my mum having early menopause.....but god I just look haggard. Iv got a toddler which doesn't help atm, but my skin just looks loose and untoned and iv aged about 10 years in a short space of time. I feel so gutted that I look like this, its totally ruined the excitement of getting the photos back. The only softener for me is that we did it abroad with just me, my partner and my son. So no one saw me actually looking like that on the day other than them. But I just feel like I'm mourning I suppose, I feel like all my youth is now gone and I feel abit empty.
I don't know what I'm trying to say or why, but i just feel a massive loss and I'm really struggling with what this change is doing to me both emotionally and physically xxx

 

[Piff paff puff]

Why? Why? Why? Aren't students taught about this in school??? You just reach middle age and your life turns upside down and you're left to flounder wondering what to do, where to go and end up trying to sort your life out on an anonymous website?! Wtf????
I'm not going into my own experiences but half the population goes through this and it's all still some big fucking mystery
Pissed off with myself always down playing the shite that peri and menopause cause. It's a big deal for most and it's so weird how there isn't a package of offered help and advice when we get to this stage.

 

[TapToBoreMeRigid]

I'm feeling much less alone after reading these pages. Thanks to you all for sharing. I'm waiting for LH and FSH tests.

I'm 37, have regular periods but they're much heavier than they used to be and painful. GP who examined me said I have vaginal atrophy - she didn't need to tell me. My last smear was agony despite nurse using the smallest speculum. At the time I put it down to PTSD due to SA. I have zero moisture and no elasticity. Even sitting down funny can cause my vagina to tear near my perineum or just above my clitoral hood.

I have no sex drive despite previously having a high one. It's been going on since about August 2021. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2022 but now I see lots of crossover with peri/early meno. The doctor I saw couldn't have been nicer. Of course because I booked a blood test for day 3 of my period (what I estimate), my period arrived early so now I'll either have to wait a month or hope there's been a cancellation.

My MH medicine no longer touches the sides. I don't know who I am anymore.

My mum had her last period aged 57. I thought I had more time. Child dreams were already dwindling but now they're dead.

The halo of sweat on my pillow each morning is grim. The frequent sweat/confusion spells in the day are horrifying.

I recently had an assessment to see if I needed to see a geneticist re breast cancer family history. My risk factor is 1%. I begin mammograms aged 40 and am currently too low risk to be given a genetic test. The assessor I saw with the breast screening clinic said to get in touch with any changes so if I'm given the go ahead for some sort of HRT I will go back to the screening people.

Again, the doctor I saw reassured me that we will tackle it together when my blood results are back.

I hate everyone, everything and every place. Simultaneously love everything so much that I cry frequently. Existentially I'm struggling.

Thank you to you all for sharing.
---
Also wanted to add that all my muscles in my upper arms have gone to shit - loose skin remains, i have spots all over my back, hair thinning, a huge belly but stick legs, I've rarely felt less attractive as a person. I used to take great pride and enjoyment in applying makeup. Now I don't see the point or joy in anything.

I keep mixing up numbers and forgetting if 13 comes before or after 14. It's a worry. .

 

[petitspois]

Your body does it’s own detox…. That’s what your liver and kidneys are for….
Try to eat a balanced diet with plenty of whole foods veg/plants/seeds/nuts/herbs etc, move your body and strengthen your muscles. Drink lots of water/fluids. We know what’s not so good for us so minimise where possible but don’t deprive completely things you enjoy. Get outside in nature: trees, mountains, the sea, it’s all so good for us.

Look at things that may help like supplements but remember we are all different and check reviews and quality of supplements. Don’t fall under the peri bandwagon with things you don’t need!

HRT if that is what you choose/need. I know many people having good experiences with it and it’s made a difference when struggling but it can’t work just on its own. We have to look after our bodies too.

Follow people who know what they are talking about not just jumping on a menopause bandwagon.

I recently read a book by an endocrinologist, thinking that surely they must be the source of truth in all of this. And one rather unwelcome theme throughout was that it was on us to help ourselves. Yes, menopause is shit for many women but so is ageing really and the way we could live at 25 we just cant get away with at 50. Good sleep doesn't just happen, we have to exercise to keep healthy and so on. Personally, I'm starting to see it as 50% of symptoms and changes you can have some impact on (weight gain and sleep for example) and 50% you have no control over (flushes, sweats etc). That's where HRT is needed I guess. Sounds trite but I'm also trying to just be grateful to still be here as some friends and colleagues my age have sadly passed.

The amount of people with something to sell in this arena really makes me uncomfortable.

 

[sistersofpercy]

Was out in the garden yesterday and missed 5 calls from the breast clinic. They left a voicemail that simply said ‘we will cal you tomorrow’.
as you can imagine, 5 calls in a little over half an hour spooked me and by the time I got in the clinic had closed.
Had a horrible nights sleep but the upshot of all those calls is I’m clear. No cancerous cells. Just calcification. I’m having a very large drink later but for now I’m ing back to bed for an hour.
Relief.

 

[Falkor]

As oestrogen levels drop, your urethral and vaginal tissues start to thin and it causes bladder urgency. I know I have a very limited time to get to a loo now if I feel the need, to the point where I can shut the door behind me and my bladder is like, 'Great, we're in the bathroom, chocks away,' and I'm like, 'FFS, let me get my jeans off first, hang on a sec!'

 

[Suzesnooze]

I had a chat with my GP this morning because I've been very conscious of the peri thing and he actually told me that he's worried too many women are chalking things up to that at the moment, that you do need some clear signs like proper hot flushes and a year of no periods before it's worth looking at blood tests and whatnot.

Can't recommend tracking everything via an app like Clue enough; you can tag your own monthly weirdness like specific moods and pain as well as all the fairly standard issues, it really helps with keeping an eye on cycles and what's "normal" for you.

That’s misinformation! If you had a year of no periods then you’re not in peri. You would be menopausal.

A lot of GP’s know fuck all about it.

 

[petitspois]

Yes Dr Liz has called her out a few times, once for overprescribing as Newsoms clinic has prescribed way higher doses than recommended, and for giving out incorrect advice, notably that HRT is totally safe if you’ve had breast cancer or on certain cancer drugs. Louise blocked her on SM . It’s good to read all these things though as it makes you realise there’s still lots to learn and it’s made me realise about power of SM and everyone is out to make money.

Completely. I know a medical researcher who has worked on a menopause study and she said the truth was that they just didn't know the long term effects of HRT. Public health very much views things in terms of advantages v disadvantages so HRT is going to be a winner if you have debilitating symptoms.

It's a fact that oestrogen is a carcinogen so it makes sense to limit your exposure in terms of the number of years. However, looking at the bigger picture, there are so many carcinogens in our lives then you have to make a choice that's right for you.

I get that these hormones are there while we are able to reproduce - we didn't have them before puberty and don't need them after menopause but why does dropping levels cause so much havoc??

I'm really on the fence but am inclined to listen to endocrinologists and oncologists who are both specialists that study for years as opposed to GPs. One thing that really concerns me is the lack of research and general 'giving a shit' about female health so we are floundering really.

 

[griftalo]

Being awake at 3 am just hot, with achy joints

I’ve been sleeping better and less painfully the last three nights, and I’ve been drinking loads of pineapple juice in the evening on those days. I looked it up and pineapple has been linked with lowering inflammation and boosting seratonin production in your gut and helping with melatonin. I’m also way less bloated now, I look like I lost 10lb off my stomach.

 

[Falkor]

Just saw this on Facebook and kind of like the reframing of things.

 

[Hold my beans]

I'm not saying this will help anyone else but walking makes a big difference for me. A personally rubbish few months, and of course the weather, got me out of the habit of going but I'm back into it now. My mood has improved and I'm able to focus a little better - something I'm really struggling with. Sleep is definitely better too

 

[petitspois]

It’s disgusting really. Mother Nature turns you into a sweaty, hairy, confused mess to stop you having kids.
Nothing much seems to happen to men.

 

[Louby@21]

I’m 45 this year and I’ve found

Menopace ( just a collection of vitamins etc)
Evening primrose oil, two months in I have absolutely a difference in aches and pains
Vitamin d but I take th in winter anyway
I also have baths in magnesium flakes once/twice a week but maybe I need to restart the spray too

I’m a big believer in nutrition and exercise. Really helps my moods and I do think some of that is hormone related. No fad missing out food groups but adding lots of veg/fruit/grains/whole foods/seeds and upping. that protein! where possible. If I want chocolate I have it and you can prise my crisps out of my cold dead hands.

I don’t fast as such as I have coffee with milk but I tend to eat brunch at 10-11 ish and an early tea then stop eating. Lots of water. I maybe drink a glass or two of alcohol a week. Occasionally more but I regret it! Does not agree anymore

Exercise is currently yoga ( basic but done for years no fancy headstands for me) resistance bands/mini bands, kettle bell, spin ( bike at home) I also walk a lot and we try and get out into nature as much as possible when not raining for 125353 days

I’m not against HRT if we need it. If my symptoms worsen I’ll be at that GP! Everyone is unique in symptoms and wishes. I feel we do owe it to ourselves to also focus on our wellbeing and look after ourselves and our bodies better though.

 

[Retro80s]

Just parking my bum here.
After being back and forth to the quacks for the last 2 years with any array of symtoms, it’s finally hit me that this is peri.

First was high cholesterol
Then aches and pains everywhere but especially in my hips when I lay on either side.
I sweat for England during the night.
Irritability.
No motivation at all.
Weight gain.
Restless legs
Skin has been awful the past few months.
Itching
Wanting to be left alone, can’t even be arsed answering calls and texts from friends.
No libido at all.
Fatigue. Could literally sleep for 20 hours
I’ve had the mirena fitted so just waiting on GP to choose which HRT is bet for me, as I’m already on citalopram, naproxen, lansoprazole and Atorvastatin.

There are more symtoms I have but I can’t be arsed thinking of them right now, ppffftt

 

[RubyTuesday39]

Does anyone else get foggy head? It’s not a headache as such, just feel like my head is full of cotton wool and I suddenly feel really tired and incredibly snappy. I don’t feel like doing anything yet if I push through it I can actually feel a bit better. It comes and goes, particularly of a weekend when I’m not at work and out of routine. I am on Evorel patches but just wondering if it’s a menopause thing or not

 

[Upintheair83]

Is really low mood part of peri too? I'm so emotional and have like little panics about things that haven't even happened. Like my elderly parents dying, my little boy being poorly etc. Like irrational thoughts I suppose?

 

[Louby@21]

Your body does it’s own detox…. That’s what your liver and kidneys are for….
Try to eat a balanced diet with plenty of whole foods veg/plants/seeds/nuts/herbs etc, move your body and strengthen your muscles. Drink lots of water/fluids. We know what’s not so good for us so minimise where possible but don’t deprive completely things you enjoy. Get outside in nature: trees, mountains, the sea, it’s all so good for us.

Look at things that may help like supplements but remember we are all different and check reviews and quality of supplements. Don’t fall under the peri bandwagon with things you don’t need!

HRT if that is what you choose/need. I know many people having good experiences with it and it’s made a difference when struggling but it can’t work just on its own. We have to look after our bodies too.

Follow people who know what they are talking about not just jumping on a menopause bandwagon.