Peri menopause moans

[veronica71]

I am in the very early stages of being peri menopausal (44 in Feb) with my main symptom currently being very heavy periods and since the beginning of December insomnia. I've done lots of reading thanks to threads like these and see lots of people have recommended Evening Primrose Oil and Magnesium. Is it worth me starting to take them now or am I better off waiting for things to get 'worse' before starting?

I'd start them now. I started HRT about 4 months ago and although I knew I didn't feel right I didn't think I was that bad.....however now I feel so much better I realise how I wasn't feeling like myself at all. As women we are so used to just putting up with feeling like crap half the time we feel we have to be so bad to get help.

 

[Upintheair83]

I'll bet you look great, because it was a happy event, you're in love and you and you had your dearest loved ones with you. Women are just their own worst critics, you are being too hard on yourself. But I can understand it because I've been there.

It's just so hard accepting you are changing. I just don't even look like myself anymore. I feel like iv lost a part of myself. I don't know how to explain. I just look tired, old and saggy. That's how i feel. And my emotions are everywhere too at the moment, I'm finding peri very hard I can't lie. I feel like I'm saying goodbye to myself xx

 

[ThisIsMyGuiltyPleasure]

Didn't know whether it was right to post here, but I feel comfy with you guys. But I got my wedding photos back yesterday. And I'm absolutely devastated. I just look.....old.
I'm 40 and obviously in peri from the symptoms I have and my mum having early menopause.....but god I just look haggard. Iv got a toddler which doesn't help atm, but my skin just looks loose and untoned and iv aged about 10 years in a short space of time. I feel so gutted that I look like this, its totally ruined the excitement of getting the photos back. The only softener for me is that we did it abroad with just me, my partner and my son. So no one saw me actually looking like that on the day other than them. But I just feel like I'm mourning I suppose, I feel like all my youth is now gone and I feel abit empty.
I don't know what I'm trying to say or why, but i just feel a massive loss and I'm really struggling with what this change is doing to me both emotionally and physically xxx

I'll bet you look great, because it was a happy event, you're in love and you and you had your dearest loved ones with you. Women are just their own worst critics, you are being too hard on yourself. But I can understand it because I've been there.

 

[Tangerine Cat]

My strangest symptom was suddenly becoming scared of the dark. I'm someone who never turns lights on if I get up in the night. I go walking at 3/ 4 am or late at night. I love the dark but suddenly had to sleep with the lights on. I remember posting about it on Digital spy, I started a thread asking if anyone had suddenly become scared of the dark. I got asked my age etc and a few people said they also got it during peri-menopause and menopause

That is a very strange hormonal thing. My sister had it after she gave birth she was fine all day but as soon as darkness fell she was incredibly anxious. She got it again years later after her hysterectomy. HRT has been a game changer for her.

for me anxiety is the worst thing. I’ve coped with a lot in my life in the last few years and then I had a breakdown the week before lockdown. bullying at work was the straw that broke the camels back and although I’ve had CBT and anxiety drugs (got better and found another great job, that turned to shit when the company was taken over), I’m now out of work and not sure if I can (or want) to go back to work.

the slightest thing now makes me anxious and I can’t cope with nearly as much as I have done in the past. I'm not sure if I’m burned out or it’s the peri menopause.

I’ve had the mirena fitted and it’s been amazing for stopping the really heavy periods. (I got into the habit of buying one or two pairs of decent period pants on payday to cope with the nighttimes - its amazing what creeps up on you and you consider it normal when it’s not normal at all!).

I can’t even get myself up at 8am to make an appointment at the doctors because I simply cannot be bothered.

And that’s another terrible thing, the lack of motivation. I find myself on here or reading the news until lunch time and start my jobs then because my mood lifts in the afternoon.

I have so many jobs to do but can’t be bothered, I make plans to go out and cancel - especially if it’s an evening event.

im still trying everyday and that’s the main thing but I used to achieve SO MUCH MORE than I currently do.

I have dry itchy skin too, I had to change all my hair and skin products last year because nothing worked anymore. Liz Earle’s products are amazing and Tropic’s. I think I need a better range now whereas I didn’t need to buy the expensive products before.

oh and I’ve whacked about four stone on, I need to lose three of them But no motivation to Even though the nurse recently put me on a mild metformin dose as I’m heading towards diabetes.

sorry for the essay but ladies, I feel you!

 

[Suzesnooze]

On a few occasions I’ve been talking to my husband and I stop mid sentence because I’ve forgotten what I was going to say. I used to have a good memory so it does concern me.
My ‘phone is full of alarm reminders too.

I used to be so organised and at home I knew where anything was but now I have to write reminders and I can never remember where I’ve put something.

I can have a conversation with someone then a day or so later I’ll remember parts of the conversation but I can’t remember who the person was that I had the conversation with.

When I’m driving I sometimes panic that I can’t think where I’m going or which way to go. I’m also always forgetting where I parked my car.

I think a lot of it is from lack of sleep. As I have days when my memory feels like it’s improved then next minute it’s bad again.

 

[DellaC]

Hie did your appointment go at the Gynae hospital?

It was a very long wait (I thought it was an appointment but it's basically A+E for vaginas) but the treatment I recieved was second to none.

They really listened.

They were unable access the previous scan and test results from my GP (Bizarre in my opinion) so they are doing them all again under the 2 week pathway. I'm having a transvaginal and abdo scan on Monday and then FINALLY I will be having a hysteroscopy some time next week. I'm so relieved and very grateful.

It's amazing how you dramatically change when you're scared, exhausted and ill. A few months ago absolutely nobody was allowed to examine me whilst I was bleeding, the thought repulsed me and now I'm pulling my pants down without a 2nd thought. It just needs to be done. Anyway she examined my cervix and said that's fine (which I knew from last week).

She's taken me off the.pill as I've agreed to a mirena coil. I know it can either be a blessing or a curse but I just have to listen to the advice I'm given.

So yes, overall a very successful day. I was heard

Also, the triage Nurse told me that if I went through my GP I would've been looking at a 4 month waiting time at least. So I'm pleased I went the route I did. And I thank you, once again

 

[Falkor]

I've had a salient lesson this past fortnight that it's also important not just to put things down to peri - I'm 47 and have been having symptoms for a couple of years, but only mild ones. Over the autumn last year I started to gain weight around my middle that I couldn't shift and also started to get muscle aches and joint pain. The aches got worse over Christmas so I rang my GP when they reopened in the gap between Christmas and New Year to book myself an appointment to talk about HRT - only to find out via the medium of five days in a high dependency unit and now in my second week on a normal hospital ward that actually the aches and pains were acute pancreatitis caused by a gallstone and the increased weight round the middle was fluid leaking out of a very pissed off pancreas!

 

[ScrambledEggs]

Finally booked to see the GP. He was fantastic.

I'm 50 so he doesn't want me to have a blood test because it's more than likely after 45 woman are peri etc.

He wants to rule out thyroid issues before prescribing HRT , honestly this is the first time I felt listened to by a GP in a long time. I'll go back after the results.

He's suggesting patches but advises me to do my own research so I can be sure .

I can't remember feeling healthy, I'm exhausted, can't sleep, tinnitus, hair loss, weight gain , flaky nails . Dull skin , losing voice , brain fog , aches and pains . My father in law used to say I did to much because I was always on the go but now I'm floored if I do anything.

I walk everyday and working shifts plays havoc but thankfully I'm only PT.

Honestly will I ever feel like me again?

Will HRT make me feel normal again & if so how quickly will it work?

I'm not depressed I'm just sad that I feel so crappy.

 

[Chocolategoggler]

I recently read a book by an endocrinologist, thinking that surely they must be the source of truth in all of this. And one rather unwelcome theme throughout was that it was on us to help ourselves. Yes, menopause is shit for many women but so is ageing really and the way we could live at 25 we just cant get away with at 50. Good sleep doesn't just happen, we have to exercise to keep healthy and so on. Personally, I'm starting to see it as 50% of symptoms and changes you can have some impact on (weight gain and sleep for example) and 50% you have no control over (flushes, sweats etc). That's where HRT is needed I guess. Sounds trite but I'm also trying to just be grateful to still be here as some friends and colleagues my age have sadly passed.

The amount of people with something to sell in this arena really makes me uncomfortable.

I totally agree. There's so much rubbish out there and you end up damaging your body if you use it. That's why I've decided to go back to what worked for me and made my mind and body feel great - and just work out from there.
I'm so cynical nowadays. I wonder why.
---

Wouldn't it be brilliant if we all had an assigned personal expert who could tell us exactly what we need? Things we're not doing/taking that would benefit us. Things we are doing/taking that are a waste of time. Things that could be making the process worse... or better.

Like, I've mentioned my constipation issue. I can't comfortably go without needing to take some stimulant, and even then it's hit and miss.

I never 'bother' my GP surgery with anything, but had a recent telephone appt with one of them regarding it because it's making me miserable.

Honestly, the GP made me feel like I was wasting her time. Like it was some trivial issue that I should just get on with. As soon as I mentioned I'd had IBS in the past and could have a tendency for a lazy bowel, she just leapt on that and wouldn't let go.

At one point, I felt like I was being questioned by a barrister rather than a GP, trying to trip me up regarding what I was saying. She kept saying I've had this problem all my life, which I never said ("Yes you did!!!") I've never even had an IBS diagnosis by a doctor.

Absolutely no care or regard for my concern about it, and she basically just encoraged me to become dependent on laxatives

I totally get you. Being made to feel you're a hypochondriac bothering them when you never hardly go see the GP. Then when they realise that you are really ill no apology.
I was recommended a book which gets rave reviews from the public. I got it from the library and had to go buy my own copy by page 38. It was a compilation of the results of independent trials and looking at the diets of certain peoples.
It also points to what Big Pharma and big business do with their own appointed trials which we all fall for i.e. it worked on mice so let's publish it and flog something based on it. No mention that it had no effect on humans as they can't make money from that.
It seems that simple cheap things from the grocers are better medicine. Certain spices for example.
I was amazed to read about a trial where they were looking at organ transplant rejection and accidentally cured someone's cancer. We don't seem to hear about things like this as it is drowned out by the money makers flogging their wares. If they can't make money out of it they're not interested.

 

[veronica71]

I was all for this then saw Dr Liz O’Riordan, who’s an Oncologist and has had breast cancer really go for her, saying she was making exaggerated claims.
That’s the area I’m fascinated by- the benefits to our health as opposed to just relieving symptoms- but I think it’s almost impossible to find something unbiased. I read Louise’s articles and agree with them then read a different viewpoint and agree with that too!

Oh this is really interesting.

as pp said its probably due to the lack of any bloody research into our health (it says in the book women weren't included in dementia studies until 1993!!!). So it's possible that HRT is really amazing for us and safe but the lack of trials cos its just womens issues means we don't know and something else for us all to worry about and try and research on our own cos we have nothing else to do ( you can blame this rant on either peri symptoms or the patriarchy)

 

[Notworthy]

I think it's important to remember that whilst HRT does potentially raise the risk of getting breast cancer there are other things that are a far bigger risk that people ignore. Being overweight increases your risk of cancer far more as does drinking alcohol.
It's a balance, after all, there's no point living another 20+ years if your miserable for most of it

 

[Juju]

Is anyone else suffering from hairs suddenly sprouting on your chin and jaw line. I’m literally plucking 8 hairs + a day out from my face every evening. I’m pale and blonde yet these hairs are either white or thick and dark.

 

[Kim Mild]

I had a chat with my GP this morning because I've been very conscious of the peri thing and he actually told me that he's worried too many women are chalking things up to that at the moment, that you do need some clear signs like proper hot flushes and a year of no periods before it's worth looking at blood tests and whatnot.

Can't recommend tracking everything via an app like Clue enough; you can tag your own monthly weirdness like specific moods and pain as well as all the fairly standard issues, it really helps with keeping an eye on cycles and what's "normal" for you.

People are super aware of how their body feels now. Since the pandemic, they notice changes in temperature, how their head feels , tingles in limbs etc. When this happens and we don't end up poorly, we know something else must be causing these sensation, rather than anything viral.

We are becoming educated about peri through the experience of other women via the media.

Periods stopping isn't the issue, it's the erratic and heavy ones and unexpected bleeding.

I'm actually surprised doctors don't attribute everything to peri and send people on their way, rather than eliminating a more sinister cause. Like how they fob digestive issues off as being its.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Being a woman can be utter shit sometimes! I’m 42 and appear to be perimenopausal - for me the symptoms are back to what it was like when I started my periods at 11 until I went on the pill at 16 - stomach cramps, heavy periods and for the last six months, they came a day earlier each month (I could always track mine to 28 days). But I was almost caught unawares yesterday but thankfully I was at home.

The worst thing for me is the change in mood though, normally a week before my period but today I honestly felt I could bludgeon someone (nobody specific) - I was absolutely livid and suddenly what my husband bought me for Christmas was terrible! I have depression and anxiety anyway which can be bad at the best of times so I contacted my GP a couple of months ago and she honestly couldn’t wait to get me off the phone. She assumed I was after HRT when I only had basic internet research so I was happy to take her lead. She booked me a blood test, told me to buy some perimenopause supplements and that was that.

It turned out there was something else that came up in my blood and I was offered a face to face appointment - well obviously I thought I was dying because why else would a GP want to see me in person these days?! It was the same Doctor and she was lovely, we had a chat and I don’t know if it’s a placebo effect but I feel better with the supplements (well until today), but I hate this time of year so we agreed to leave the HRT just now and we can revisit it. Because I’m not dying, yay!

I have a lot of weight to lose and I don’t need any more obstacles with that tbh. It’s just so shit, I mean WTF?!

Thanks everyone for posting and being so honest, it’s good to know I’m not alone

 

[petitspois]

I got a period this weekend which was 10 months since the last one. I was gutted. It took me months for the penny to drop it was perimenopause then months to get used to the idea and now it's back again.

 

[zetta buttons]

My second period of the month ended 3 days ago. I now have begun the 10/14 days of breast pain and cramps before the next.

 

[sistersofpercy]

I’m home.
Essentially I had a grouping of calcification. To see it instantly put my mind at rest as I think I was half expecting to see a huge lump or something but this was so so small she had to zoom in half a dozen times. It's so incredibly tiny if it is anything sinister it's not going to be much of a problem, so that's a relief.

I’ve had a biopsy which wasn't pleasant, but not as bad as I'd thought, they've put a metal marker in for future mammograms. Other half took my for lunch and I'm on the sofa slobbing now as the aesthetic is wearing off and I'm rather sore. I'm absolutely using this 24 hours of take it easy to let him wait on me haha

Biopsy results in 2/3 weeks but I've been told the chances of it being cancerous cells are incredibly slim. Not fully in the clear, but I do feel a hell of a lot better about things.

Thank you all for your support this last few days

 

[Woolmercardington]

It was a very long wait (I thought it was an appointment but it's basically A+E for vaginas) but the treatment I recieved was second to none.

They really listened.

They were unable access the previous scan and test results from my GP (Bizarre in my opinion) so they are doing them all again under the 2 week pathway. I'm having a transvaginal and abdo scan on Monday and then FINALLY I will be having a hysteroscopy some time next week. I'm so relieved and very grateful.

It's amazing how you dramatically change when you're scared, exhausted and ill. A few months ago absolutely nobody was allowed to examine me whilst I was bleeding, the thought repulsed me and now I'm pulling my pants down without a 2nd thought. It just needs to be done. Anyway she examined my cervix and said that's fine (which I knew from last week).

She's taken me off the.pill as I've agreed to a mirena coil. I know it can either be a blessing or a curse but I just have to listen to the advice I'm given.

So yes, overall a very successful day. I was heard

Also, the triage Nurse told me that if I went through my GP I would've been looking at a 4 month waiting time at least. So I'm pleased I went the route I did. And I thank you, once again

That's great news. As has been previously said, lots of people avoid going to A&E because they don't see their problem as urgent, but honestly, if you're in that much pain and bleeding so much, then yes, that's urgent, IMO. Especially when GP's aren't listening or it's taking an ungodly amount of time to get an appointment. And, as you've discovered, it's got the ball rolling far more efficiently.

 

[DellaC]

If I was you I would go to A&E as they did recommend that if the pain worsened. Just tell A&E you are finding it hard to cope with the pain. I know A&E are busy but you’re more likely to get tests etc while in hospital than going back and forth to your GP who sounds useless.

Just want to say THANK YOU for giving me the kick up the arse I needed. I've been to A and E, been seen and been referred to the Gynae hospital for an appointment tomorrow morning! Thank-you chuck!!

 

[Nurseali]

This month is the first time I’ve missed a period since I was last pregnant 16 years ago. I’ve had the usual pmt, bad skin, stomach ache etc but literally a few spots. This is going from 28 day cycle extremely heavy to this

I’m hoping this is the beginning of the end.

Only because I don't want you disappointed but I have been like this four years now. I was a regular every 28 days to being every 17 days, then 44 days, then 19 days etc.
I started HRT two months ago and have just had a two week bleed that was honestly exhausting.

If I don't come back as a man next time God fecking hates me.