After my son was born , I decided I didn’t want to go back to work as I hated my job , couldn’t face the commute to London anymore , the cost of nursery was looking like it would be more than my monthly wages anyway and so my husband and I agreed that I would not go back to work and be a full time mum .
I did this for almost 4 years and didn’t return to work in a traditional sense until 2023 when my daughter (who was born in 2022) was one . My husband earned significantly higher than me and we were very lucky we could survive on one income for a while .
during that time , parenting and looking after our home was my full time job . Yes I was the default parent but that was my choice , I’d asked for this . So yes I was always the one who knew when it was non uniform day at school , or organised the kids doctors and dentists appointments , and know all their friends by name . And that’s been Lou’s reality too . Ok granted Rob is away more than my husband was but he earns probably fifty times what my husband does so that surely sweetens is somehow … I guess I felt if I wasn’t the default parent , what would I be doing lol
When I returned to work in 2023 was when my husband and I had to sit down a reevaluate responsibilities . He picked up more of the slack , became more abreast of their calendars and needs , and now we’re in a pretty good rhythm . But I didn’t really feel the burden of being a default parent until I had to mix working a 9-5 into it as well .
guess what I’m trying to say is that I understand Lou’s gripes but surely it was her choice to give up work and be a full time mum … what was she expecting when she did that ?