Older than average parents.

[Happy35]

I had my son when I was 20, my sister had her children in her late 30s as until she met her current part at 35 her relationships were disasters. Where I live most parents seem to be 30+.

I was born in the 70s and my mam was 25 days off 26 when she had me and she was old compared to most of my friends parents; I think she has a very old fashioned outlook though so she probably seemed older than she was. My dad was 27 and also old fashioned.

 

[Patsy Stone]

It’s the opposite for me. My mum and dad were 16 & 17 when I was born. All happened in a whirlwind and my mum moved in with my dad and his parents when I was born - we moved out when they were 21 & 22

My mum says when I was little in a pram people would look down on her, some people would even think we were sisters. The same when I went to nursery she got very judgy looks at the school gates and none of them bothered with her. Whereas my gran was 44 when I was born and she loved it as people thought I was her daughter

2 of my best friends and my boyfriends parents were all 40+ which I thought was old when I was a kid but looking back it wasn’t at all it was quite common

My parents are a world away from the stigma of teenage parents - they are still together, married & worked hard to get good jobs. They struggled having children afterwards but ended up having my twin siblings when they were 31 & 32 after IVF

 

[derbyshiregirl]

My mum was about to turn 41 when she had me and my dad 46. There’s a massive age gap between me and my siblings which I think is the main reason why we aren’t close - we didn’t grow up together and don’t have that much in common.

My parents are amazing but I do feel a little resentful that no matter what age my parents live to be, my siblings will have had about 20 extra years with them than me xx

 

[sephylily]

My parents are older, particularly my dad. I have older siblings so I never felt really embarrassed bc I thought it made sense for them to be the ages they are. My dad parented me differently to the way he parented my siblings and he absolutely adores me and I adore him. Idk if that comes from having more experience or what.

 

[Flumperooni]

My parents were married and 19 when they had my older sister (she is now 42) she then had her daughter at 20 so my parents were grandparents at 39. My sister in law has just had her first baby at almost 39 and this seems really old to me. ( I know it’s actually not)! I was 26 when I had my first child and before I got pregnant by family had resigned by hems elves to the fact that I would NEVER have children as I was so old. I don’t know if this was partly because I had been with my husband for 12 years by that point it just that they were so used to everyone they knew having babies young (my other sister had her first at 20)

 

[ChloChlo]

I think there is a class related gap.

I lived in a really affluent area of London for a few years over a decade ago (I'm unapologetically working class) I sent my son to the local, sought after school and noticed I was really young compared to all the other parents. I had my eldest at nearly 22. Alot of the parents seemed wealthy, well educated with good careers. My son was almost certainly the only child with a mum under the age of 35 in that class. I then moved to an underprivileged area in a Northen town, the school my kids attended while here, almost all of the parents were young, some a hell of a lot younger than I was!

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

I think there is a class related gap.

I lived in a really affluent area of London for a few years over a decade ago (I'm unapologetically working class) I sent my son to the local, sought after school and noticed I was really young compared to all the other parents. I had my eldest at nearly 22. Alot of the parents seemed wealthy, well educated with good careers. My son was almost certainly the only child with a mum under the age of 35 in that class. I then moved to an underprivileged area in a Northen town, the school my kids attended while here, almost all of the parents were young, some a hell of a lot younger than I was!

It follows that people with more educational/career opportunities would wait longer to have children - although in my experience it's been the reverse (I know quite a few middle class people who married and had kids young after meeting at university, or because the wife wanted to be a SAHM and could afford it; and with the exception of my sister most of the "older" mums I know are working class ladies with big families who've continued having kids into their late 30s/early 40s)

 

[Jdottt13]

My mum was 25 when she had me (I’m also 25 now) and then at 41 with her new partner she had my sister. I was 16 when she had her and I think my mum quite liked the fact I was old enough to look after her and did help out a lot. Mum admits she had a lot more patience for my sister than she ever did with me, which she puts down to being older. I also think it’s kept my mum young, my sisters now 9 and I don’t see her as a 50 year old at all!
I also made her a nanny at 47 so it’s quite funny she’s deemed an older mum yet a young nanny haha!
me and my sister are really close despite a 16 year age gap but it’s definitely borderline maternal instincts with her as well as I helped out so much when she was a baby.
I also have 13 year old & 7 year old siblings (my dads other children) but feel more big sisterly towards them.

 

[Herefortheteabot123]

My mum and dad had 12 children, last ones were twins when my mum was 52 and dad 55 despite us older kids being against it (our parents age, my mum had lost children previously, we were from a small town so were worried about bullying due to parents age) my parents were in their 40s when I was a teen but I really feel for my younger siblings as by the time their teenagers they will be in their early seventies! Plus on any day out with them and my parents people have always just assumed their mine and the parents are grandparents.

 

[Bobbleowl90]

My mum and dad had me in their mid 30’s. Not old at all really but they had my older brothers in their early 20’s. They were older than all my friends parents and I remember lying about their ages as I was embarrassed. How stupid!

 

[totallytaz]

My mum and dad had me in their mid 30’s. Not old at all really but they had my older brothers in their early 20’s. They were older than all my friends parents and I remember lying about their ages as I was embarrassed. How stupid!

I worked with a girl who’s parents had her at 35. I remember her saying how they advised her to have children younger as they were much older than their parent peers in her playgroup group and they didn’t like it.

 

[Bobbleowl90]

I worked with a girl who’s parents had her at 35. I remember her saying how they advised her to have children younger as they were much older than their parent peers in her playgroup group and they didn’t like it.

My parents had both ends of the spectrum - they were the youngest parents with my brothers and the oldest parents with me! Yet I’m almost 31 and planning my second child and don’t feel old at all!

 

[Wanttoseethescreenshots]

I had young parents, my mum was 19 when she had me in the early 90’s. I thought I’d be a young mum but I never met anyone and I ended up spending my 20’s working, holidaying and going out. I’m 30 now and I honestly feel like I’m at such a cross roads, I feel like it’s such a confusing age, I have friends with kids who will be teenagers soon and I have friends with new borns. I also have friends with no children. I wasn’t 100% certain if I wanted them until I met my boyfriend a year ago, now i just feel like I want us to have a few years together first and being selfish and doing what we want but also worry I’m running out of time because I also don’t want to be leaving it too long before starting but I also feel like there is so much of the world I haven’t seen that I would love to do first! Covid has actually taken a year of our lives which has also been playing on my mind a lot too!

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Just read an interview with the actress Mena Suvari who is 41 and about to have her first child, she said that doctors had repeatedly told her she was too old to have a child but it happened naturally. I think it's important to recognise that yes, age affects conception but at the same time that if you haven't had the menopause there is still a chance of getting pregnant ...

 

[Kim Mild]

I think there is a class related gap.

I lived in a really affluent area of London for a few years over a decade ago (I'm unapologetically working class) I sent my son to the local, sought after school and noticed I was really young compared to all the other parents. I had my eldest at nearly 22. Alot of the parents seemed wealthy, well educated with good careers. My son was almost certainly the only child with a mum under the age of 35 in that class. I then moved to an underprivileged area in a Northen town, the school my kids attended while here, almost all of the parents were young, some a hell of a lot younger than I was!

That's interesting. It certainly seems like teenage parents are often from the less affluent areas , or at least that is the stereotype.
Some of the parents at my teenager's school look old , I'd place them at 50s -60s , but I don't know if they have adult children too.

 

[ChloChlo]

Alot of the children in my sons affluent SW London school appeared to be the only child. One single father (mother had passed on) in his reception class had a 5 year old daughter (only child) and could have easily passed as 60. I felt most of the parents in that school snubbed me and I was never quite sure if it was a class thing or an age thing, I tried to get involved with a few activities with the school but often got the vibe the other parents there thought I was a silly, little girl. I was probably being about 26-28 when my son would have been attending there and no where near as young as some of the mums at his northern school.

 

[Noseybonk]

My mum was 41 when she had me , my dad died when I was 2 so we were also a single parent household.
It was a huge thing back then , 80s/90s . Kids at school used to take the piss and say she was my gran. If my sister took me out , she was mistaken for my mum , she was 22 when I was born. My brother got married and had his first child (my niece) when I was 18 months old!
I hated it , hated my mum for a while because of it , hated the fact she was " old " , to be fair she is of that older generation where an older person acts an older person if that makes sense ?
As a teenager I just wanted a "normal aged mum"
Now of course it's not even a thing is it

I relate to all of this. My mum was 41 when she had me and everyone thought she was my gran and took the piss (80s) I was really embarrassed by her which seems an awful thing to say now. However, as I got older and married, had kids, I really appreciated the fact she was older and experienced, I nearly died having my first child and she was amazing! My husband has a younger mum who is always out and about (not currently obviously) and quite selfish, and he was really close to my mum as he said she was how a proper mum should be. Two of my best friends have had their first child at 40. I think people are less judgy now.

 

[Iily122]

My mum was 37 and my dad was 57 when they had me! My mums always looked younger so never felt she was " old" but my dad was born in the 30s and raising a 90s baby! definitely had its challenges and people did tell my parents they were selfish and i'd be left without a dad at a young age.. im 30 now and my dads still alive. It made me 100% want to wait until I was in my 30s to have children and be selfish before hand!

 

[ChloChlo]

I know this might sound a terrible thing to bring up, but I lived near some sort of mental health residence/ half way house. A really bizarre, quite scary man from there used to strike conversation up with me, often walking along side me to the shop. I asked him what led him to living in there, out of my noseyness and to appear polite, he then looked me straight in the face and told me was a skitzophrenic and he had intrusive thoughts of killing his own mother, he went on to say it was specifically because she was in her 50s or 60s and walked with a stick to the school. He said she embarrassed him. I'm not sure if it was his medication but I saw his jaw clench as he said it.

 

[noseybirdxo]

My mum was 36 with my brother and 41 when she had me, my dad was 40 and 45 for me - my parents were always considerably older than my friends. I’m 26 and my mum is 68 this year and my boyfriends mum is 49