Older than average parents.

[birdiefly246]

My sister had her first child at 37 and has just had another baby at 41. She doesn't seem too bothered by being an "older" mum especially since several of her friends have had babies at similar ages ...

My great-grandmother had her first child at 29; she'd been married far longer than that, but her husband was away with the Royal Navy much of the time. She was considered a shockingly old mother in her day!

it's funny how things have changed isn't it? Having kids in early twenties was normal now it's seen as young

 

[Happy Lady]

Obviously the older you are, the more risks there are but a couple I know had their first baby last year. She's 42 and he's 52. It's knocked years off him. He looks much younger and seems so much more lighthearted. I've never seen him as happy.

That's brilliant

 

[Kim Mild]

Wow... He came close to living in three centuries !

It blows my mind how many monarchs were on the throne during his lifetime. ( the 2 Georges and 2 Edwards confuse me) . I can't even imagine a time Elizabeth wasn't queen.

 

[princesssparklepants]

My mum was 30 when I was born, my dad 40. Dad passed when I was 18 and his parents were already dead, his dad was killed in the war and he never met him (he was born after he died) and his mum died approx 2.5 years before I was born. My gran on my mums side died when I was 11 and my grandad passed away in 2019.

My brother became a dad at 38, his wife at 37. I'm 35 and childless through choice as I'm a carer and have been since being 8 years old so when my time comes and I'm finally free of my caring responsibilities my life will (finally) be my own!

 

[Lizzie Mintdrop]

My mum was 35 when I was born and my dad was 37, their age was something that really bothered me when I was young. If anyone asked me how old they were I used to say I didn't know. I don't know why it bothered me because I knew people whose parents were older than mine. My mum had older children, my oldest brother was born when she was 18 and she was 21 when my sister was born. My mum thinks she was a better mum with me, calmer and less likely to get upset or stressed and had a much better idea of what she was doing. My sister had her youngest child when she was 45, her older children were 27, 25 and 24 and she's definitely much calmer and has more patience and her youngest knows he has siblings but to all intents and purposes is an only child, also, he was an uncle from birth. My cousin has just had her first child at 42, her daughter is so precious to her because she never expected to have her and she wasn't planned. I think in the past it was usual to have children later in life but they weren't usually a first child. A few of my friends were born to older mums, upwards of 35, but are all the youngest child like me. This is a subject I find really interesting because it's never been like this before, we are seeing a real shift in society and it's fascinating to me to see how this is perceived.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

I think if you have unprotected sex and get knocked up, you are not too old biologically, although people may judge and say you are

Having fertility treatment to have a baby when your child bearing days are over is completely different.

It's become more common for women in their late 30s to mid 40s to have accidental pregnancies specifically because there's so much judgement. They repeatedly hear that at this age pregnancy becomes near-impossible, so they stop using birth control and then get pregnant ...

My sister, who had her first child in her late 30s had difficulty conceiving at first. She and her doctor assumed this was because of her age and she decided to have IVF so in preparation for that, she stopped smoking ... and got pregnant pretty much right away. Of course age IS an issue but it seems in her case it was smoking, lifestyle does seem to have an impact

 

[ChloChlo]

I know this might sound a terrible thing to bring up, but I lived near some sort of mental health residence/ half way house. A really bizarre, quite scary man from there used to strike conversation up with me, often walking along side me to the shop. I asked him what led him to living in there, out of my noseyness and to appear polite, he then looked me straight in the face and told me was a skitzophrenic and he had intrusive thoughts of killing his own mother, he went on to say it was specifically because she was in her 50s or 60s and walked with a stick to the school. He said she embarrassed him. I'm not sure if it was his medication but I saw his jaw clench as he said it.

 

[Ceelea]

It blows my mind how many monarchs were on the throne during his lifetime. ( the 2 Georges and 2 Edwards confuse me) . I can't even imagine a time Elizabeth wasn't queen.

Let's see... Queen Victoria ( died 1901 ), her son Edward VII ( 1901-1910 ), George V ( 1910-1936 ), Edward VIII ( 1936 ), George VI ( 1936-1952 ) and Elizabeth I ( 1952- ).

Six monarchs in his lifetime... That's pretty good !

 

[Kim Mild]

Let's see... Queen Victoria ( died 1901 ), her son Edward VII ( 1901-1910 ), George V ( 1910-1936 ), Edward VIII ( 1936 ), George VI ( 1936-1952 ) and Elizabeth I ( 1952- ).

Six monarchs in his lifetime... That's pretty good !

Wonder when the last time someone had that many monarchs in their life apart from theses ones.? I mean apart from my grandfather's contemporaries.

 

[Belulah]

I always said I didn't want to be an old mum because of my own experience but I am 31 and not getting close to having kids, and with covid robbing me of what will probably be 2 years of my life I can't see me having kids soon.

I would like another but am trying to accept I’m now too old. Like you I’m thinking we can write this year off and I had my first baby by myself but it’s tremendously hard and I don’t think I would want two by myself.
Your bond with your mother sounds beautiful.

 

[under the ivy]

My mum had my brother at 37 - there’s a 16 year age gap between me and him. To me 37 is still young!

 

[Kim Mild]

My father's father was born in 1885.

My grandfather was born in 1899. He lived until his 90s. He used to say about how many changes he'd seen .

My mum was 37 and my dad was 57 when they had me! My mums always looked younger so never felt she was " old" but my dad was born in the 30s and raising a 90s baby! definitely had its challenges and people did tell my parents they were selfish and i'd be left without a dad at a young age.. im 30 now and my dads still alive. It made me 100% want to wait until I was in my 30s to have children and be selfish before hand!

My dad was born in the 1930s too, my mum early 40s. I think there is a difference between people born after the war and people born before / during. I can't describe it but I've noticed it with other people too , especially when I was a child when these people were in the 40s/50s and still at work. These people are from a different era. They were born into a different world.

People in their mid thirties to mid 40s are from the xennial micro generation, there isn't so much difference between them now. If people understand what I mean .

 

[Ceelea]

My father's father was born in 1885.

 

[Noseybonk]

My mum was 41 when she had me , my dad died when I was 2 so we were also a single parent household.
It was a huge thing back then , 80s/90s . Kids at school used to take the piss and say she was my gran. If my sister took me out , she was mistaken for my mum , she was 22 when I was born. My brother got married and had his first child (my niece) when I was 18 months old!
I hated it , hated my mum for a while because of it , hated the fact she was " old " , to be fair she is of that older generation where an older person acts an older person if that makes sense ?
As a teenager I just wanted a "normal aged mum"
Now of course it's not even a thing is it

I relate to all of this. My mum was 41 when she had me and everyone thought she was my gran and took the piss (80s) I was really embarrassed by her which seems an awful thing to say now. However, as I got older and married, had kids, I really appreciated the fact she was older and experienced, I nearly died having my first child and she was amazing! My husband has a younger mum who is always out and about (not currently obviously) and quite selfish, and he was really close to my mum as he said she was how a proper mum should be. Two of my best friends have had their first child at 40. I think people are less judgy now.

 

[Rlaw1978]

How old were you when you had your first ?I was 21 but 36/ 37 when I had my youngest.

23 when I had my first

 

[totallytaz]

My mum and dad had me in their mid 30’s. Not old at all really but they had my older brothers in their early 20’s. They were older than all my friends parents and I remember lying about their ages as I was embarrassed. How stupid!

I worked with a girl who’s parents had her at 35. I remember her saying how they advised her to have children younger as they were much older than their parent peers in her playgroup group and they didn’t like it.

 

[Holidaybobs]

My (ex)stepdad’s father was 63 when he had him and his mum was 57. They were both widows and had 13 children between them. He was openly a ‘mistake’. Most of his siblings had children of their own when he was born. He was bullied tremendously at school in Glasgow for his parents ages, especially as his father was the lollipop man.

My grandma had my mum at 23 in the 60s and then had her youngest at 36 which was a happy accident. At the time in the 70s my mum said many people would make a big deal out of it but, it soon blew over. She said, her younger brother had a much better life as they had more money when he was born and time as my mum and her brother helped out.

My mum had me at 31 and my dad was 36 when they had me. It never bothered me until I was around 10 and classmates stated how old their parents were and I figured out they were all 18-24 when they had them. I never realised as my parents looked the same age so it never bothered me. When I got to high school, my best friends mum was 10 years younger and she could never believe the age difference between herself and my mum (which she loves). I preferred it though, as we had a better quality of life as my mum focused on her career before she had us so we had a nice lifestyle - I know this isn’t always the case.

My brother had his first child at 24 and his wife was 25, their son has just started school and they said they feel really young as everyone is mid30s. I think times just go through curves and you have a baby when you are ready. I’m 26 next week and want to have my first 30+ as I think your 20s are for being selfish and living your life. I adore my nephew but, I’m glad when he goes home Plus, my mum will be retired then so no nursery fees.

 

[Flumperooni]

My parents were married and 19 when they had my older sister (she is now 42) she then had her daughter at 20 so my parents were grandparents at 39. My sister in law has just had her first baby at almost 39 and this seems really old to me. ( I know it’s actually not)! I was 26 when I had my first child and before I got pregnant by family had resigned by hems elves to the fact that I would NEVER have children as I was so old. I don’t know if this was partly because I had been with my husband for 12 years by that point it just that they were so used to everyone they knew having babies young (my other sister had her first at 20)

 

[Iily122]

My mum was 37 and my dad was 57 when they had me! My mums always looked younger so never felt she was " old" but my dad was born in the 30s and raising a 90s baby! definitely had its challenges and people did tell my parents they were selfish and i'd be left without a dad at a young age.. im 30 now and my dads still alive. It made me 100% want to wait until I was in my 30s to have children and be selfish before hand!

 

[Herefortheteabot123]

My mum and dad had 12 children, last ones were twins when my mum was 52 and dad 55 despite us older kids being against it (our parents age, my mum had lost children previously, we were from a small town so were worried about bullying due to parents age) my parents were in their 40s when I was a teen but I really feel for my younger siblings as by the time their teenagers they will be in their early seventies! Plus on any day out with them and my parents people have always just assumed their mine and the parents are grandparents.