I am so sorry to hear this. My heart goes out to you. At the same time I am glad to read your dearest sister got to go home and be surrounded by her family and familiarity in the final moments of her journey.When my sister was in hospital with a brain tumour, two consultants had different ideas on her meds, one decreased her anti-fit meds and she had a huge fit that caused her to be paralysed all down her right side.
After that, I see some awful sights. She kept having fits and we would press the nurse buzzer and nothing, even though nurses were at the nurse station chatting... My sister was in the furthest ward in the furthest bed away, even though she was constantly having fits. Turned up one morning to see her sobbing with her breakfast in front of her they had put the tray on her table and left her to it. ( not the first time apaaprtily) bearing in mind she had no use in her right side and was right-handed. butter in a little tub, jam in a little tub, no way to hold the toast while she buttered etc. Hot tea etc WTF?
I went home got my bag and moved in and became her carer in the hospital.. She wanted to come home to die and so I had to prove I could lift her on my own from bed to wheelchair and back etc in front of consultants, Got her home ( sounds easy but it wasn't, it was awful and scary as they didn't want her to come home) She was so scared of being taken back into that hospital she made a DNR order and we had to have it with us all the time.
This sounds almost identical to my mothers story. My aunt and her partner really put up a fight to take my mother to her home to pass away. She was undergoing all the checks to see if she was physically capable with lifting, etc. She was even midway through having a downstairs wetroom installed specifically for her. It just didn't happen. My mother was put on the Liverpool pathway it is believed as we were seriously warned against giving her any fluids at all! She passed away on mothers day before my aunt got the chance to take her home.
The brain hospital in Russell Square was great. My mum battled this shit for 10 whole years and this place was like a 2nd home at times... Then she deteriorated after she developed a second tumour, my mum was a fighter, if she believed she could, she would... But she would also constantly ask the doctors how long she had left, most would say "it's difficult to tell just yet". But one doctor that had barely seen much of her, gave her a ballpark figure of approx 6 months based on the type of tumour, rather off the cuff and quite unprofessional on the ward, doing rounds. That day I saw my mother's head slump forward and never sit tall again. Her body went limp, she wouldn't stand up and get out of her chair, she went grey in the face and gave up all fight that day. She lost her sparkle and although she looked absolutely terrified, she was now 'going with the flow'. It was terrible to witness. I'd never seen my mother like that before. 3 months later she had passed on. I really am unhappy with the doctor just telling her like that, no councillor present or anything. You're being told off the cuff you're going to die in 6 months matter of factly with no body to talk about it with afterwards. Imagine! This one doctor let this particular hospital down.
I can second questionable comments like this coming from NHS staff. 20 years ago the approach to teenage mental health was absolutely brutal. Many workers would be sacked if they took such approaches in this day and age. I was sectioned off as a youngster... In Central Middlesex I was manhandled by two huge male nurses and sedated in a padded room.... I had flipped a vase containing flowers and water off the side in my angst at being 17 and contained in a place which felt second to a jail. One of the male nurses used my hoodie under his foot to mop the water up while grinning at me, so I exchanged a few nasty words, was frogmarched off and sedated. Really unessersary.I took an overdose at 14, went to A&E where I saw a psychiatrist who advised me to write poetry instead of self harming & sent me on my way
Also been told 'if you really wanted to die you would have done it by now'
The worst I think was a nurse who literally told me to 'try harder next time' after a suicide attempt...absolutely disgusting
NHS Tip, if you want nicer food in hospital, ask for the ethnic menu!!!
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