New housemate struggles…

[Zulkraa]

I love you guys!! So, I’ve been bored at home all day whilst she was at work so I’ve rearranged the house back to how it was and taken all ‘communal’ household items like toilet roll and cleaning stuff out of the bathroom and the kitchen … I realised she’d been using all my stuff then when it runs out replacing it but hiding it and not sharing. She’s just got home took one look at the kitchen and went straight to her room without even saying hello … I’m just enjoying a glass of wine in my old front room

I did write a long reply last week and my bloody phone died on me and it wasn’t saved! I am hoping that she doesn’t do the same to you when you are next out of the property?

I think the way she waded into the place throwing out your belongings and rearranging without asking was out of order and very inconsiderate. She’s trying to be the alpha female and test to see what she can get away with!

I think once the dust settles maybe suggest having a chat about how how you are going to live together, as you know you don’t have to be friends, but you do have to live together. I’m hoping it’s early teething problems and you will be able to live together amicably.

As someone else posted boundaries are really important here. I think she’s gotten away with doing that to others for so long. It would be nice to be able to speak to her without her acting like a child. I’ve shared with a lot of people over the years and every person has their own habits and quirks, but being assertive and setting boundaries is key here.

Good luck

 

[Rockin' Robin]

So… I moved back to the UK recently and found a 2 bed house share, my housemate was amazing and I loved our little flat, it really felt like a home but she got posted abroad and moved out 3 weeks ago. I had to find a replacement so after about 50 viewings I finally thought I’d found the perfect replacement but this week has been a nightmare.

Within 10 mins of her moving in she went through every cupboard and rearranged everything, moved all my stuff around and threw half the stuff out. I was like okaaay, bit weird.

She’s made it very clear that she doesn’t share, we have 2 washing up liquids, 2 sponges, 2 toilet roll holders, 2 separate sets of knives of forks, pots, pans, bowls …you name it! It feels very studenty!

I came home on Thursday at about 1am as I was at a work event and she’d double locked the door and put the chain on so I couldn’t get in … I rang the bell and her phone all night and she didn’t answer until 10am meaning I missed work and didn’t even say sorry!

Just now, I was in my room and I heard the front door go and it turns out she’s having all her friends over for a ‘moving in party’ .. they’ve all brought litres and litres and alcohol and I’m hiding in my room. I went to go and say hi but she’s locked the front room door, am I being unreasonable thinking she should have text me and give me a heads up?

Any ideas? I don’t want to come across like an arsehole

You need to get rid of her as soon as possible, her behaviour might escalate.

 

[EddyDarling]

Have a word with her and let your landlord know what's going on too, cover yourself

 

[cococookie]

This thread just popped into my head!

I know it’s been a long time but can we get an update?

 

[xcyber]

I’ve come to the conclusion that she’s just a brat, I'm wfh today and I heard her leave for work .. about 10 mins later I was on a call with my headphones in and could hear some banging so I went to investigate and there was was kicking the front door! I opened it like ‘are you okay?’ And she just pushed me out the way and said, ‘I forgot my keys and now im late because you didn’t answer’ no thank you or anything … I think I want rid

Unless you’re willing to move out, you need to fight fire with fire unfortunately. First have a word and be VERY VERY firm and clear that you won’t be accepting her behaviour. Then if she continues to be a twat, which she likely will, you just gotta turn the place into a hostile environment for her. Bring friends over, be in the living room a lot, play loud music etc etc. it’s annoying and childish but it’s the only way - that or move out.

 

[Warpaint]

Is there any common ground you could find where you end up being friends or at least come to a truce? Do you have any similar interests, are you the same age bracket etc. You could try be friendly and go for a 'clean slate' approach.

If not, time to get your psycho on and get her out of there.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Hahaha I’d forgotten all about this thread. She moved out and the landlord decided to sell the flat … they thought it would take ages but it sold in 6 hrs and I had to move out wild times!

Thanks for the update. It was a wild ride

 

[cococookie]

Urghhh! get her gone asap

 

[EddyDarling]

Haha one of them worked with her and she said everyone at work hates her as she’s so rude and miserable, so maybe it’s not just me I honestly want to give her an Oscar for how friendly she was when she came to view!

Omigod it must have been so vindicating knowing she's genuinely a massive arse hole!!
She must have had a meltdown when she left the viewing keeping all her horribleness pent up, condolences to whatever barista served her after that performance

 

[greenvelvet]

Making loud noise at inappropriate times is probably a violation of the tenancy agreement - if you can get proof of your not being involved with the party (the front room door being locked might be to your advantage) that might stand in your favour, esp. if the neighbours to complain. it might be a good idea to have a look through your tenancy agreement because she's probably going to break a load of stuff in it. r/legaladviceUK or citizens' advice might have some ideas

it depends how much you like the place tbh, like if you want to stand your ground or just leave! it depends what kind of person you are as well like it would be a good idea to talk to her about it, but only if you feel you can say "no" to her bs - you don't want to be put in a position where you end up agreeing to everything she says and then having no leg to stand on when it comes to complaining

 

[Tinkerbell cat]

It genuinely seems she is trying to get you out of there, just by the way she is getting on. It's like she is playing a game to see how far she can push you before you leave. Don't let her win OP. She seems like a spoilt wee bitch tbh.

 

[EddyDarling]

Her behaviour is totally unacceptable. Tbh she doesn't sound like the type of person who will ever improve. These people never do.

'Having a word' may make you feel better as you get feelings off your chest (I'd do it myself), but her behaviour won't change sorry to say...don't expect results.

Unless she does something that breaks the terms of the lease (make sure you write everything down and take photos/videos), you will have to move out. Life isn't fair, again sorry to say it but it's true, someone's bullying behaviour drove me out of a house share before leaving me stuck in a relatives spare room for months, it wasnt my fault at all and I had to suffer the consequences.

I've lived with a few assholes in house shares but no one as explicitly bad (at first anyway) as the person the OP mentions


Sadly in my experience landlords don't wanna know about internal tenant conflicts unless a condition of the lease is being broken (such as damage or drugs or overoccupancy), and I can see their point.


Its awful, as noted above I lived in a house where I had to hide in my room from an absolute dick of a housemate, you can't relax in your home and feel on edge all the time. I bought a house eventually but I never take my privacy for granted esp as I know a lot of people are in situations where they have to houseshare with shitty people as cant afford a house purchase

The landlord may not want to know but she will need to cover herself as people like new tenant are quite happy to twist things and blame others so it's always a good idea to cover yourself so you have a paper trail.

 

[EddyDarling]

I love you guys!! So, I’ve been bored at home all day whilst she was at work so I’ve rearranged the house back to how it was and taken all ‘communal’ household items like toilet roll and cleaning stuff out of the bathroom and the kitchen … I realised she’d been using all my stuff then when it runs out replacing it but hiding it and not sharing. She’s just got home took one look at the kitchen and went straight to her room without even saying hello … I’m just enjoying a glass of wine in my old front room

Good for you!!

 

[candyland_]

I could deal with them rearranging the cupboards but locking you out of the house is beyond a joke.

 

[Blahblahahaaa77]

27!!!!
I wondered if she was just a bit young and not up to speed with shared living but at 27 she knows what she's doing.
Go and get your washing before she bins it!

Hahahha anything is up for grabs at the minute … I tried to knock on the living room door but the music is too loud, it’s a Bloody Sunday night

 

[Blahblahahaaa77]

Yeah, I think it’s going to be a long 6 months. I’ve sat in the living room this evening to appear more social but she hasn’t said a word .. she’s currently making a 10 course dinner in the kitchen

 

[Erling Haaland]

This is outrageous!

I would contact the landlord and maybe try and beat her at her own game

 

[Dianne]

I remember when I studied abroad I lived with 5 other girls in a halls of residence type flat. Everyone was normal and easy enough to live with, other than this girl who moved in last. She moved everyone’s stuff around in the kitchen, even putting other people’s pots and pans randomly in a draw under the tv!?! She did all this when we were out and didn’t introduce herself for days. Her girlfriend basically lived with her too, so that was extra food and drink space taken up in the fridge. They put their names on everything as well. The first thing they said to us one day was ‘who’s the BACON girl?’ referring to the smell of bacon cooking that they objected to. They then had the cheek to routinely fry fish!

 

[Tree_]

You need to absolutely kick off at her. I'd have her in tears personally just for locking me out never mind the other stuff

 

[Blahblahahaaa77]

You shouldn’t have to knock or be locked out of communal areas!!!

It’s better than being locked out of my actual flat for an entire night . God even typing that is insane haha!