Thank you
@keytotruth for starting a new thread and congrats
@QuirkyFlamingo on another thread title! There were some hilarious suggestions. Honestly can’t wait for the wedding, it’s definitely going to be busy on this thread like her 30th was
. I voted “surprise us and classy” as I’d love to see her look like that but I suspect it’s going to be very booby
Less than a week to find out
For any new tattlers, hello and welcome to the crazy life of mrs banjo to be. Strap yourself in for the ups and downs of the hard life of nay. She has a full time nanny and cleaner, plus endless help from papa banjo, spends most of her time away from the children, complaining on stories about them or the fact Jordan is away working which actually funds her lifestyle. However her grid posts tend to indicate she loves her life and children (although children were deleted, see below). She spends every opportunity possible away from her children, and says her morning Pilates class is her favourite part of her day. She regularly has her hair, nails and lashes done, as well as endless meals out solo or with friends and dates with Jordan. She has a fondness for words such as stennies (extensions), veggy (vegas), dissy (discount), boomy (boomerang), etc.
Cass is in prep school (pre school but make it classy) and Mimi starts in September. They both go to bed at 6pm, no excuses. So shortly both children will be in school 5 days a week. She has repeatedly hinted at baby no 3 despite seemingly disliking the two she already has and being a parent in general so we are split between wondering if it will happen or she will enjoy her time mostly child less too much.
The last thread recap - it started with some confusion - nay was meant to be on a staycation at her parents in Devon with the children, however it went quiet, jordan was off sick from kiss with no explanation (Perri has always previously said why) and later on she admitted she’d dropped them there and gone back to Essex (one hell of a trek). It transpired Jordan had joined her back at home, but there was nothing on Instagram. She then went back to Devon to collect the children and they travelled to Birmingham to see Jordan as that’s where the diversity tour was. She also went shopping with her mum for her (mums) wedding dress even though it was April and the wedding is in august - despite claims she’s sooooo close to her mum and sees her often
Shortly after the strange staycation situation jordan booked nay a solo spa day - as if she desperately needed a break after 5 days without her children
she then had the cheek to post a time stamped story after 6pm saying she couldn’t wait to go in and see her children despite us all knowing the children are always in bed by 6pm without fail. And instead of rushing in she was doing stories on her driveway
Even more bizarrely all of the grid photos of the children on both nay and Jordan’s accounts were deleted. There has never been an explanation. Although initially nay hid their faces on stories, it wasn’t long before they were back though. Someone checked social blade and confirmed 600 from nay and 200 from Jordan had been deleted so it must have been a serious reason
It got pretty quiet without the constant content involving the children
Nay travelled up to Manchester and diversity arrived there a day later for the tour. Even though it was warren’s birthday and the rest of diversity went out for a meal and then an exclusive doctor strange screening, obviously jordy baby had to stay in with nay (this is the usual situation that we’ve seen over the years)
Once home, jordy came back a day later to go to sheesh with nay before returning to Manchester
Of course, once he returned nay was back in usual nay mode - ill and moaning about never having a day off and parenting alone (clearly forgetting her Pilates workout every day, breakfast and lunch alone etc) and the fact she isn’t alone!
There was regular comments about the tension between nay and all the other diversity women - Fran, danielle banjo, talisa and Laura during the diversity tour. Although sometimes they’d all be at the same show there wouldn’t be any online interaction, stories or photos which seems very off considering how much we saw of them all together during summer last year when diversity were performing at butlins and Laura has babysat for nay a lot in the past
While everyone is enduring the cost of living crisis, jordan had the cheek to accept a job on “eat well for less” when we’ve seen them waste food, endless takeaways and just earlier in the thread order stupid amounts of food for the two of them at sheesh. Then nay attended a wedding (alone, obviously) and toon to Instagram afterwards to sell her dress. Considering what Jordan earns and her previous claims of earning 6 figures a year herself, tattle were appalled. She could easily gift the dress to someone who’d love it but couldn’t afford it (the dress was £189 and she wanted £100)
Nay having clearly read the outrage on tattle then went onto stories to say they gift tons to charities - while yes there is one occasion i remember, she wasn’t exactly being truthful. When they moved last year she uploaded a photo of lots of baby stuff she was donating (clothes, prams, etc) she then did stories saying she’d had lots of people asking for the items, so some local mums had instead collected the items. While this was a nice gesture, she has never ever mentioned donating items again and in my own experience, offering baby items for free seems to encourage people who simply want it to resell, i’d much rather donate to a baby bank knowing the items will be directed to those who genuinely need it
Nay then proceeded to show 6am WITHOUT MOANING ABOUT THE KIDS BEING AWAKE!
She posted about not seeing Jordan for 5 weeks which was completely untrue and that nobody else understands the sacrifices they make as a family - as tattle said, jordan is on a dance tour, coming home regularly, she lives on his money with a nanny and a cleaner. Other parents may work opposite shifts, be a military family, be a single parent, struggling financially
Cass had his birthday party a month late (potentially due to diversity’s tour) but mum of the year made him wait for his cake until then, with all their money he had no candles to blow out on his actual birthday
and of course the cake was “Spider-Man but make it classy” for a 4 yo
Tattlers were concerned that jordan looked quite unhappy and unwell along with regular comments about how much longer he might be a part of diversity especially as nay seems to hate it. On Father’s Day she chose a photo of him squeezing her boob as a grid post and made it all about herself
In typical fashion, jordan spent a day at the tattoo parlour and nay took her bridesmaids all the way to Manchester for their dress fittings because clearly Essex or London don’t sell them
While in Manchester nay wore a “top” which was essentially a piece of string that barely held her boobs in. There was talk of how unnecessary it was and very unsupportive for her large boobs. She had comments of similar opinions on her grid post and she uploaded a story about being unkind and her children seeing negative comments about her. Nay managed to resist the urge to doxx anyone this time but tattle were more worried about the messages she will send to her children as they as they grow up in terms of what they wear, using filters, their appearance and having procedures to alter themselves (she regularly edits Cass)
HENCHELLA - apparently her bridesmaids threw her a surprise hen party in her own garden
and she just happened to wear a white, very bridal dress for what she thought was a white party! There was a teepee, photographer, two huge balloon archs and food. The children were actually included in some of this and Jordan was there but there weren’t many friends of nay’s, just bridesmaids, a few Insta huns and her mum and nana
They then had Mimi’s birthday party which was again very OTT with a new balloon arch, literally a day later (what a waste) - whilst jordan is on bbc programmes about reducing waste for the environment and eating well for less
THE VEGGY HEN - so the numbers dwindled from 30 to 6
despite talisa saying at Christmas she’d be going to vegas she was nowhere to be seen. It was all cheap matching tacky outfits for the airport, MrsB2B and a BRIDE diamanté hat. Fran was really sweet and diamantéd some Nikes for nay but seeing as nay only wears Bally’s not sure they’ll be worn
Their flight was delayed, and when they got to vegas they immediately went out in a limo, although they did look a bit miserable (could have been booked and a shame to waste along with their first night out if they landed later than expected). One of the hens is even very pregnant! They were there for 4 days and did a lot of partying with co ordinated outfits under nay’s orders. Seemed to be a competition to wear as little as possible
for someone who claims they don’t like photos of themselves or wearing their hair down, nay certainly had enough photos and videos taken of her. Her knickers were so skimpy in fact that a keen eyed tattler noticed she has a tattoo! Just as nay flew home, it was time for Jordan’s stag
Despite jordan refusing a sten (joint stag and hen in vegas with nay) and even saying he wouldn’t be having a stag at all, Ashley and Perri organised a weeks worth of stag activities. Tattlers agreed it looked awesome and jordan seemed genuinely happy and in awe at the effort and turnout he had. While nay complained about jet lag and being soooo tired (go figure hun) and having to empty the dishwasher, jordan still did kiss breakfast each morning and was whisked away to Ibiza for Friday. Of course, while he was away nay was posting about her hen and then joking (not joking really) that he needed to come home for their wedding (clearly worried he’d sack the whole thing off
)
The thread ended on jordan being tired from his epic stag, of which nay had to upload a story of him asleep and nay shaking her boobs on Instagram in front of the kids
Dog update - nay’s dog is Elmo a chihuahua and jordan has a French bulldog that doesn’t live with them for some reason. They have two guard dogs, Mishka and Rocco from ambassador protection dogs
For the entirety of the last thread (started April 16th 2022) we have not seen either guard dog. They received some backlash last summer when they were going to adopt a male dog with docked ears, following this they got a female called Mishka (July 2021) instead claiming the original dog wasn’t suited to them. There have been some issues and she was returned to the ambassador dogs home for a “holiday” of which a tattler discovered (we aren’t sure how many holidays she’s had though) yet nay admitted it was her behaviour, without admitting she had failed to keep up her training. Then it transpired that they’d also adopted a male dog, Mishka’s brother Rocco around the same time but kept him hidden although some tattlers had spotted him before stories were quickly deleted. She eventually admitted in a grid post on 23rd February that they had Rocco and that early on in his life with them he’d escaped their gates (goodness knows how as it looks quite secure) and been hit by a campervan. It was hit and miss and he’d pulled through, but was quite nervous following it. We aren’t sure if the dogs get returned when jordan isn’t around or if they genuinely just can’t look after them, there has been outrage about the fact the ambassador team keep taking the dogs back when they clearly can’t cope or keep up the training. Tattlers will be eagle eyed this next thread for either dog
