Mumsnet #83 Transulitionnjnv

[Geetbo]

It’s not even 9am and I’ve already got my quote of the day

I have a very unfortunate aversion to a flaccid penis. It kind of disgusts me.

Can we not highlight my posts please. Thank you.

 

[Goosegamer]

My kid, who is a massive bender as well, took his then boyfriend to see Les Mis. It was a sing-along event but his singing embarrassed the boyfriend where he kept telling my kid to shut the fuck up. They had a massive row which ended with the ex boyfriend shouting "you can't carry a bucket of water never mind a fucking tune"

They were in their 20s.

 

[Geetbo]

I fucking love musicals. But I am a massive bender so it's the law that I must.

 

[Geetbo]

Well lads, if any of you are single then take note. This is what you’re meant to do. Just make sure you are very warm but demure
View attachment 3957092

Tbf I would definitely suck someone off if they made me a nice lemon drizzle.

 

[Geetbo]

AIBU the doctor stuck his entire arm up my arse. I only went in with a cold.

 

[MoistPlinth]

Thanks to this I've looked up a load of places I can go with my son cheap or free because we're on UC. I'm his carer, and when he's not at his day centre (paid for by the council, so all your taxes) I like to find places to take him.

One of the places also offers a 50% discount on food in the cafe, cakes galore! Not only are the mumsnetters paying for the tickets they are paying for us to get DObese. Fabulous!

 

[CrimsonCountess]

This must be a mumsnetters car

 

[CrimsonCountess]

My question is why are you married to a ten month old. This is why punctuation is important

 

[WhyYouCry?]

‘I WILL NOT BE DISCLOSING WHAT THE HOBBY IS!’

It’s ok love, we know the hobby is cock. It always is.

 

[Geetbo]

The amount of shit produced by most Mumsnet posters suggests they have very fibrous diets.

 

[Geetbo]

This is going to out me to all of you and now you'll all know who I am, but when I was about 24 my mother in law was going to a charity ladies night with her friends, which was advertised as being a bit of a magic mike sexy dancing type thing. She invited me so I went along. Magic Mike it was not, they were completely naked and swinging their dicks around, thrusting it in our faces and getting some of the audience to squirt whipped cream on them. They also got some of them up on stage and I'm pretty sure almost got some of them pregnant. I genuinely had no idea that these kind of things existed, and I think a lot of the women there didn't either. Bear in mind that this was in a small village where the average population is about 95 years old

Certainly not something I expected to experience with my mother in law

Where is this village? I'm looking at moving.

 

[CrimsonCountess]

I look at horse for sale websites even though I haven’t been in a horse in 20 years

That's one hell of a typo

 

[50degreesnorth]

View attachment 3950160
View attachment 3950161
Even worse than not cooking at all. The aunt made her chips! Disgusting, I don’t think I’d recover from it.

56 years old and couldn’t figure out a supermarket/restaurant.

She deserves the boil and fatty liver.

Useless cunt.

 

[CrimsonCountess]

Look who’s back. “I’m going to post about my deadbeat son but you’d better not be rude about my deadbeat son otherwise I’ll tell you to fuck off” has to be one of the weirder Mumsnet trolls but fair play to them they are consistent

 

[Geetbo]

I think the main issue is that no matter how many calories they are, after I’ve finished a wrap I always still feel absolutely fucking starving. Chips on the side needed.

Or chips in the wrap. And that's healthy because it's greek.

 

[SwiftieNewRomantics]

Knock the hat off his head! Stronger words were never spoken.

 

[Geetbo]

Maybe he thought the drink was a penis beaker and was giving his old man a wash.

 

[CrimsonCountess]

What’s your BMI? I would be overweight at size 12

What a lovely helpful response on a thread where OP has lost 5 stone and is struggling with still feeling fat

 

[CrimsonCountess]

It’s not even 9am and I’ve already got my quote of the day

I have a very unfortunate aversion to a flaccid penis. It kind of disgusts me.

 

[Serene Serena]

In other news, Nan has tracked down my favourite singer Brendan Boone and, for my landmark birthday (outing but I’m not 30 or 50) she’s going to buy us both tickets for his next Manchester gig - and throwing in a hotel and all you can eat brekkie. Nan ain’t your average 90 year old, she wants barrier tickets