Mumsnet #64 New thread. NOW

[Iamthebosun]

I was going to go on this thread and say 'people who don't know the difference between your and you're', but then I opened it and it's a misery olympics of people trying to outdo each other with all their serious problems so I thought better of it
View attachment 3641302

I've got no arms and no legs and my carer dropped dead while I was in the bath so I'm slowly drowning and can't rescue myself.

Omg you're so privileged, I only wish I could drown but I haven't got a HEAD. Be careful about where you post about your privileged life because you don't know if the person who reads it has it worse. Count your blessings and #bekind.

 

[Iamthebosun]

They’re so weird about what they consider infidelity. This comment is to an OP who has a crush on a colleague. They’ve never acted on it because he doesn’t even know
(Nobody tell her about the Coldplay incident, she’ll drop dead from indignation)

Bottom of the barrel for having a crush on a married man?! Wait until she hears about murderers.

 

[bread-pitt]

Just saving this for the next time that I need to go undercover as a deckchair...View attachment 3645704

Reminds of wearing dad’s old shirt backward as an art smock in kindergarten.

 

[Millie2023]

A MN wedding buffet!

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

Mumsnet just makes me feel very very sad at the moment. They just seem to suck all the joy out of everything on there.
My lovely DIL (actually my son's lovely partner) I tell her not to go on MN for advice ever, because they are just awful people.
I hate it because that forum should be a proper lifeline for mums of wee ones. I'm really not up to date on new parenting stuff and DIL lost her mum 2 years ago so I have tried to fill a gap for her, but obviously I can't.

It just pisses me off so much, the cunts

 

[Miss Begotten]

Quite obviously the answer is to buy a photo of a log fire and paste it to the wall. With a live, love, laugh decal and some glue on mirror hearts all around it.

£3.58 from Temu! And it’s so realistic. I’m going to rip out our actual fireplace and replace it with this.

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

Oh darling, you're only married to one orthopaedic surgeon? I'm married to 4 of them

 

[Miss Begotten]

I’ve just learned to photosynthesise so I consume nothing x

And I still feel a bit flabby atm as I’m taking in too much sunlight.

Ugh, I’m not surprised. Greedy bastard.

 

[LilyPond]

On a thread about obese children, classic MN


gianfrancogorgonzola · Today 17:39

Not a scrap of fat on either of mine, DD17 is super tall and skinny and DS15 solid muscle. Varies wildly by demographic as others have said, also familial habits around activity and food.

By demographic you just know she means povvo northerners....

 

[CrimsonCountess]

Shithole is back again asking for help with making a payment plan to pay off some debts. Except she wont tell people how much money she has spare in order to come up with said payment plan so it's another useless thread where she won't take anyones advice

 

[Iamthebosun]

But I'm size 20 and I've met my grandchild, so I'm very confused now, have I early onset dementia as I'm a very old nearly 50ish and will forget about it

Get a carbon monoxide alarm. NOW.

 

[Wackie Jeaver]

I hate the phrase "dropped dead". Always makes me imagine a stuffy guy in a suit looking like he's from Downton Abbey clutching his heart and proclaiming "one is deceased" and then falling to the floor. Random I know.

My Dad did LITERALLY drop dead... on the golf course, way to go! Sadly before he got to the 19th hole, but you know, there are worse ways to go! (No sympathy please it was 30 years ago and I'm not saying it for a guilt trip)

 

[Archduchess of Luxembourg]

Milk your almonds. NOW.

You can milk pretty much anything with nipples. Almond nipples are small but once you've found them, you'll have a bounty of almond milk.

 

[mindlessness]

One of my favourite recent threads is the woman who is dreading what will be (she assumes) expected of her as a grandparent.
Her DC aren’t even expecting any children yet. The grandchildren don’t exist.
She’s just prematurely pissed off the DC might ask her to help with childcare or whatever.

 

[Geetbo]

It should kick in around the same time as you've saved your first £100k, so I'd say 15

Only 100k saved at 15!!
Are you from the north?

 

[coffeeandsausagedogs]

I’m screaming at this thread on AIBU.

Sorry, won’t let me post the link - it’s about a Mumsnetter who has had her birthday ‘ruined’ by DH not booking a table seat on the train so they can have their usual train birthday picnic of picky bits and prosecco. MNers are up in arms about folk eating “that smelly food” on a train…

They would absolutely die off on my (potentially outing!) west coast of Scotland train where a train snack is a four pack of Carling and a fish supper on the 1107am train to Glasgow Central.

 

[qqwertyy]

She’s taking on the financial advice really well

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

Lads! We have a massive bunfight going on in a thread on AIBU "to think parents don't need to be ultra smart/formal for graduation ceremonies"

We have everything from Hyacinth Bucket types to mums wearing jeans and DMs (to their sons Cambridge graduation, no less) I've done 3 graduations and just wore black trousers, black top and flat shoes. No tea dresses for me!

This one cracked me up. Nomination for thread title is "Is this a northern thing?"

 

[Itchy of Itchington]

How, how are they on 6 threads about the salt path couple. Is the horror because they thought they were naice middle class types who were wronged but it turns out middle class types can be shady grifters too.

 

[Iamthebosun]

I’m not sure anyone gives a fuck what your DH would think, ex welder or otherwise.

Why don't all the people who complain that teachers have a cushy job with amazing holidays (‍) go and bloody do it then and stop whining.

I personally think teaching is the most important job there is. I also think being a teacher can be pretty shit depending on what you teach, the age group, the kids, the parents, the head, the school, the country etc.

And I absolutely know I couldn't do it, wouldn't do it. The pay could be 500k a year and I wouldn't do it. Reading just Mumsnet never mind other forums, social media, media and real life, I'm surprised there's any teachers left.