Mrs Hinch #431 - “Struggling with her mental health, but plenty of ads to maintain her wealth.”
Winning thread title by
@cm1985 
(Thread titles taken from page 40 onwards guyshh! ATV
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Peeping James, the neighbourhood crank popped up on Tuesday night with a very sinister video of Soph filmed through a crack in the door. His heavy breathing made it look like something from a Halloween horror movie. “Bless her ‘art ... she’s in her element ...” fuck off Jamie Kruger.
Wednesday was a quiet day. She seems to be part time since coming back from maternity leave. She didn’t even take part in P&G’s ads for their new Mean Girls laundry bundle. She’d be the perfect ambassador for a mean girl too!
Thursday and she was up early to share patronising responses to some of her sheep’s messages. Telling nurses who are struggling and people who’ve had major spinal surgery that they’re super woman and telling them not to be so hard on themselves when she’s part of the problem. The whole thing was an excuse for her to tell them all she has to cope with a toddler and baby at home alone a few days a week when Jamie’s working on his project / at their new house / in the betting office...
Mum not there? Ron not at nursery? Jamie secretly at home anyway because you made the whole thing up because he looks like a lazy bastard?
Next she decided to sort froo even more autumn decorations whilst Jamie took Ron on a day out to his favourite place - the tip. Dropping off Soph’s upcycling projects?
Anyways she was going to revamp her autumn reef cos she’s become a bitttt attachttttt to ittttt. We never saw it again until Friday afternoon.
Then she decided to have a bit of “fun” and make mop pumpkins because she loves pumpkins and she loves mops! I hope that’s on her CV as intereshhhhts.
She didn’t show how to make them properly, the finished article looked shit and she stole the idea anyway. So that went well.
She painted one wiv her Frenchic paint she has left over from an upcycle disaster and made little shhhhtring ones too. What would have been cute was letting Ron paint one. But this is all about the gram and keeping up with the ridiculous autumn trend they’re all doing so he didn’t get a look in.
Next up was a video of her putting cheese and nibbles on a lazy Sophie, sorry lazy Susan, for her cousins to snack on. It was inexplicably accompanied by some dance music like there was some sort of rave going on in the cheese compartment of her fridge.
A photo of Len and the cousin’s new babies followed with a photo of Soph and
said cousins as kids and then a video of a highly filtered Soph being tend shocked that people think Ron looks like her as a baby. The sheep are probably shocked to see any resemblance given they never see your real face bubs.
Just when you thought she’d be exhausted what with her being a shhhhtruggling new mum on anti depressants she upped sticks (pissy ones natch) and went hotfootzing it over to Stinky Stacey’s for a night out at the - very obviously an undeclared ad for Mecca - Bingo.
Heavily pregnant Stace had forgotten all about it when Hinch and her cling on sister JemJem turned up at nearly 10pm to take her out for bingo, but it was ok as Hinch was going to help her get ready, plaiting her hair and chewing gum like the teenage chav she embodies.
Videos followed of them moaning they didn’t win anything. Poor little millionaires.. my heart bleeds. Stacey’s sister uploaded a video of Stacey which was hijacked by Hinch who suddenly decided to throw her purple tokens in the air to get the camera on to her. Bloody weirdo.
She finally rocked up home at 1am, where she claimed she was going to kick Jamie out of bed to have cuddles with Henry, presumably because Jamie was in bed exhausted after looking after their kids all day, and didn’t wait up for Princess Soph to crawl home. That or he had his binoculars out to spy on their neighbours.
Boot other giant foot Soph. We know if James has stayed out until 1am Gretel’s head would have wobbled so much it would have dropped off in a fury.
Friday morning and another video of Ron and Len that turned out to be an undisclosed advert. She’s very cynically directing her followers over to Next constantly since they started stocking her dish rag loungewear.
Next we were treated to a Gretel moan about how skanky she is sat on her dirty sofa stinking of baby puke and wearing last night’s make up. How is this woman supposed to be inspirational? Maybe staying out with your mates until 1am wasn’t such a good idea after all Soph.
Later she suddenly remembered she’s supposed to be a cleaning account so posted some staged photos of the kitchen looking like shite after her cousins had visited yesterday. Personally I wouldn’t have let them back in after they trashed her house on their last visit. Chucking laundry all over the floors and moving her Ribena round to gaslight her. Now they’ve been leaving her dishwasher open and throwing her recycling round the kitchen.
Today’s “cleaning” was more elusive than Ron being shown speaking again and it wasn’t shown on camera either, just as a before and after photo. Before the cleaner came in and after she left? Or are we just not being shown any cleaning because she’s not being paid to advertise products any more?
Friday afternoon arrived and oh there’s the reef! It’s got to be made more Hinchy apparently so when we assume when we see it, it will be sewn to the grey sofa and will be covered in stick on eyebrows and mugshots? No? Well apparently being made more Hinchy meant pulling it apart replacing all the autumn coloured leaves with green ones and sticking grey pumpkins to it. Noice. It does of course look shit and that was with mummy Fiddle Fingers helping too. Points will be deducted if your teacher finds out mum did it all Soph! Naturally it was all for an advert for her strategically placed Tessshhhco tat bags.
And finally we were treated to a very special episode of stuff that never happened as Hinch regaled us with the tale that she’d just got back from the shops and had seen free girlshhh all wearing her Hinch loungewear. Sloppy mares. As if it happened though!
Dream on Hinchy and keep slapping yourself silly...
Wiki is the pink button at the top for newbies.
Ronnie and Lennie don’t rhyme.
Sophie doesn’t have a second name she added Rose in her teens.
? 3 women yesterday wearing her loungwear and 3 old ladies on the bus today. 
