Mrs Hinch #296 On the 12th day of Xmas Hinch gave to me turkey with elbow grease flavor gravy

[shadyessex33]

It’s actually proper starting to wind me up that he hasn’t got the coordination to put the food in the bowl, and she just screams “well donnnnneeee” at him. No it’s not well done, he missed completely! Teach your child you fucking idiot

 

[Paige711]

Just wanted to hop on while mini tattler is napping to say you’re honestly the loveliest bunch of strangers I’ve ever ‘met’
I’ve had a shit year. We’ve all had a shit year. But when I vented on here you were all so supportive and made me feel a little bit better.
Me and mini are doing great. He has a big sister that’s obsessed with him. My heart has a hole in where my partner died but I can safely say that baby has closed it up massively, I couldn’t love him any more if I tried.
THANK YOU all for making me feel less alone.
Hope you all have a lovely Christmas as weird as it may be this year. All the vest

 

[AC55]

I want to say to everyone on here, I know this year has been incredibly difficult and challenging for us all. Some of us have had a much worse time than others, grieving for the loss of loved ones, some of us have welcomed little Tattlers to this crazy world. Some of us have worked through the pandemic in very uncertain times and sadly some of us no longer have jobs. One thing that has remained a constant throughout it all is the laughter, love, support and encouragement we all give to each other and long may that continue. I sincerely hope that 2021 is better and brighter for everyone and that we all find the strength to carry on.
Merry Christmas to you all, a very different Christmas for all of us.
Lots of love
AC55 xxx

Ps....Sopha's still a twat! All the vest, hope that helps xx

 

[Georgie1988]

Thought she didn’t have a mummy elf mug and that they were in the Christmas Eve boxes

 

[Eleanor Abernathy]

Has that dog had 2 treats already this morning?? No wonder the poor fucker is the size of a barge.

 

[Bluebell5]

I can't cope with another day of him launching the dog food all over the floor. Just fucking show him how!!

 

[Fluffyducks]

So Ronnie couldn’t even manage a sippy cup until yesterday now the little genius is having his milk out of an open China mug

 

[Islandhoppin]

Well my fellow Pastry Trolls, it’s Christmas Eve. I would like to invite you all to raise an empty mug and have a sing along together.

With my sincerest apologies to Nat King Cole...

The Hinchmas Song

Jaymee’s nuts roasting on an off centre fire
Ronnie poking at Henners’ nose
Pre-records being scheduled by Sopha-Rose
Then round to Mad Barker’s for dinner they will go

Everybody knows a story and an undeclared ad
Help the Hinch bank account to grow
The Shoppers finance Sopha’s cosmetic treatments
And first class tickets to Dubai for her winter glow

Sopha knows that ASA is on its waaaaay
Nigel’s fed up of emails from Shady every day
And the Tattlers will have the last laugh
While Sopha desperately seeks engagement from her bath

But meanwhile Shoppers pay for tat on Easi-Pay
The Kids make hot chocolate from a tube
Although it's been sold many times, many ways
Happy Hinchmas to yooooou

 

[shadyessex33]

I wonder if the ASA has sent a special Christmas card to you Shady, you must be on their correspondence list by now for sure

I can feel a ban coming on for harassment then I’ll just go to the ombudsman and ask why I’m being banned from rightly complaining to a public body never fuck off a gay, we use grudges as hobbies

 

[shadyessex33]

So she doesn’t drink tea or coffee?

And who has just one biscuit??? If I have tea and biscuits I’m having half the pack...... at least

 

[Islandhoppin]

Ok guys, we have done the 12 days of Xmas for thread titles.

Shall we come up with witty suggestions to see us to the New Year and beyond, as admin have said they don't have to rhyme, for example.

Not good but - Mrs Hinch # ??? Tier 4 covidbreaker

Going forward What do you think? Any suggestions?

How about a Hinch inspired Christmas song title?

Fleece, Ad and Grab (Feliz Navidad)

I’ll see myself out...

 

[Julezv93]

Boo fucking hoo. You’re not Angelina Jolie, you could disappear at the drop of a hat if you wanted to. God she is so irritating!!!!!

 

[shadyessex33]

“OMG where do you get this from?”
“OMG where do you get that from?”

OMG GOOGLE IT YOU FUCKING MORONS.

You just know these are the kind of cunts that put on Facebook
“Anyone know what time Asda opens today? xxx”

“Anyone got the Dr’s number pls? Thnx! xxx”

 

[fannysjohnny]

Well my fellow Pastry Trolls, it’s Christmas Eve. I would like to invite you all to raise an empty mug and have a sing along together.

With my sincerest apologies to Nat King Cole...

A Hinchmas Song

Jaymee’s nuts roasting on an off centre fire
Ronnie poking at Henners’ nose
Pre-records being scheduled by Sopha-Rose
Then round to Mad Barker’s for dinner they will go

Everybody knows a story and an undeclared ad
Help the Hinch bank account to grow
The Shoppers finance Sopha’s cosmetic treatments
And first class tickets to Dubai for her winter glow

Sopha knows that ASA is on its waaaaay
Nigel’s fed up of emails from Shady every day
And the Tattlers will have the last laugh
While Sopha desperately seeks engagement from her bath

But meanwhile Shoppers pay for tat on Easi-Pay
The Kids make hot chocolate from a tube
Although it's been sold many times, many ways
Happy Hinchmas to yooooou

Fantastic,I can't beat that x
By coincidence I was working on a little ditty based on the tune of the Pogues.
"A fairy tale in Maldon"
You have bug eyes
You were pretty,Queen of the village.
When the insta stopped playing
The hinchers howled out for more.

The neighbours were swinging
We scored on the corner
And danced through the night
And the trolls were playing up on Christmas day.

We've got audis and rovers
All we touch turns to gold
But the grey chills right through you
It's a place for the old.
When you first touched my hand in the stationary cupboard
You promised a pension was waiting for me.

We could have been someone
Well so could anyone.........
🥱zzzzz night everyone x

 

[shadyessex33]

Off to the ASA I go. First one of the day and it’s gone 12. Not too bad. Aussie Hair care are owned by P&G who you are under contract with!!!!! Sneaky snake!

 

[Spacemonkey1972]

Oh jeez. Look at the size of that dog . Turning circle of an HGV. Oh that’s so bad. Killing him with kindness as others have said. Many treats a day and RonJonCantPour probably does that bowl lots of times to get it right for insta. Which ten tonne Henners snaffles up. His rolls have rolls

 

[hinchlighting]

“OMG where do you get this from?”
“OMG where do you get that from?”

OMG GOOGLE IT YOU FUCKING MORONS.

 

[14 bacon rolls]

She proper reminds me of Matilda Wormwood's mum in that video haha

 

[SarcasticEllis]

You just know these are the kind of cunts that put on Facebook
“Anyone know what time Asda opens today? xxx”

“Anyone got the Dr’s number pls? Thnx! xxx”

I share this quite a lot so apologies if it’s been on here before, but I do love Roger...

 

[hinchlighting]

I’m really confused about that Suffolk shite.

If you were traumatised and “escaped” being photographed...... why the fuck would you ask Inch to then take your pic wandering down the high street?

It’s seriously bonkers shite.
She talks the most amount of verbal diarrhoea I’ve ever, ever heard.