Mrs Hinch #243 She’s got 99 recipes and I won’t cook one

[DipsyDoodle]

I do think I’m the only bloke on this thread aren’t I? How did this happen to little old me? can’t believe she says about being mothers. Like that automatically means every mum has to love and support each other no matter what!

Just because someone's given birth, doesn't mean they are a nice person. My mum had 4 and is still a despicable old cunt

 

[shadyessex33]

@shadyessex33 is it just me that feels like the line about 'some men' was a little nod to you personally?

I do think I’m the only bloke on this thread aren’t I? How did this happen to little old me? can’t believe she says about being mothers. Like that automatically means every mum has to love and support each other no matter what!

 

[shadyessex33]

I wonder if tomorrow will be a family affair.

Henry left at home to look after Ronalongadingdong

Ma giving everyone evils at the This Morning studio.

Jaymay trying it on with Holly

Pa Barker doing laps around the block so they don’t have to pay for parking

The cling on niece bunking school so she can wedge herself in on the days events

 

[Sunflower91]

“Like an act of self-harm”??? Like she actually knows what self harm look and feel like. Is she for real? Hi Soph, self harm addict here- would appreciate it if you didn’t align your attention seeking, narcissistic, emotionally manipulating behaviour with a mental health problem that already faces so much stigma, self shame and debilitation. ATB

 

[watermelon sugar]

I'm gonna skip the 'Back to the Beginning' one because I didnt really watch her then
Anxiety

So guys. You have probably all worked out by now I don't even have anxiety! It was all just a marketing ploy. Here is how it went
'So babe.' Jamie began. 'The cleaning isnt enough. Now they know what you look like they don't feel you're relatable because you're drop dead gorgeous. You need to show that you're relatable. I've been thinking the mental health card
I flicked my fag. 'Mental health?' I take a pull. 'Screw that. I'm fine me. I cant even spell anxiety'
'Nah babe it'll reel the punters in. Youre not making enough. I need more dollarydoos for my Willy Hill account. Its the national soon! I reckon Tiger Rolls gonna win
'Babe will you stop talking about gambling for one minute. Ill buy some tiger roll when I go the shops!'
'No i mean - never mind. Good job you're alright looking cos you're a sandwich short of a picnic. Anyway, the mental health card is the way to go down! More people will like you if you're relatable'
'Ah what's that?' *slaps face*
'So listen ere babe. Just do a few erratic stories right? Claw your neck a bit. Give it a good scratch. Just go on saying you're a bit anxious. The shoppers will cream their knickers at it'

So i got my phone and filmed myself. There was this stupid filter that looked like a Granny. It was a light bulb moment. I put the filter on
'Guyyyyyssssssss. I just hate what I look like today. I mean i know I am a sort but I just feel so anxious today guys. So I put this filter on. What shall we call her guys? A proper old fogie name? Errrrmmm. Thou shall be called GRETEL'
So i did a few stories with Gretel on. Whinged on a bit saying I couldn't bare to see what I looked like in the papers.

But once.... i was a papped. I looked miserable as fuck and Jamies top looked a bit tight. He swears hes a small but im convinced he is at least an extra large.
I was livid. I sobbed in my castle and flung an empty packet of Zoflora at Jamies head
'I still think you look fit babe'
'Dont even lie! Look at the state of my roots! And plus I'm hardly the problem! Look at you! I've been thinking about trading you in for a footballer and becoming a WAG!'

I opened my phone and did a story clawing my neck and whimpering. Not long after I got a load of messages blowing smoke up my arse. Jamie was right, this anxiety card is great!

 

[CoolMom]

Thread title by @mucking.fuddle

The mem-wah is out tomorrow, of course she doesn't name tattle but says some more misleading lies. Her average follower will have no idea what the ASA is and that she was reported for breaching the rules - as any consumer is entitled to do with a buisness.

Short excerpts by @frostily

Please add anything important for new members to the wiki

Mrs Hinch Wiki

Mrs. Hinch aka Sophie Hinchliffe, aged 34, (16 February 1990) is a saleswoman who had a successful sales career in Romford . She started an Instagram account, sought out and then signed to the biggest social media influencer agency in Europe to put her in contact with brands and earn tens of...

tattle.life

@shadyessex33 is it just me that feels like the line about 'some men' was a little nod to you personally?

 

[watermelon sugar]

Jamie

Ah Jamie, the love of my life, the man behind the plan, my protector, my Prince Charming, my Knight in shining armour.
Let me tell you how we met

Jamie used to be my manager. He used to eye me up everytime i came into the office. Come to think of it he used to eye everyone up! Girls used to walk into his office all nice and tidy then come out messy and disheveled! They always used to come out his office and say 'thanks J. See you next time' Dunno what that was about like!
I had a fella at the time. He isnt worth mentioning!
One day I was perfecting my sales pitch when I looked up and Jamie was stood next to me. For some reason he had a twin set on. I didnt think anything of it at the time.
'Hiya mate. Wanna come into my office?'
I nodded and followed him into his office. He stood behind his desk looking all smouldering. It was like a scene out of 50 shades of grey.
'What am i in here for?'
'Cos I wanna be your scrub Daddy.'
'What?'
'Show us your minky'
'What?'
'I want you to rim me like you'd rim your toilet with Harpic pine' ()
'I beg your pardon?'
'Go on. Soak me in your Zoflora and call me ya Scrub daddy'
'Why do you keep talking about cleaning?'
'Listen. I shag every one in this office and you're next'
So that was that. We shagged. Soon as I got home I updated my status to 'in a relationship' on Facebook. Yeah it may of been a one off shag to him but I heard he's got a bit of dosh so he's mine now
When I went into work the next day Jamie pulled me into his office
He sighed. 'Look. Youre the office bimbo and an easy shag. Im known as the bachelor of Essex. Im a bit like Mark Wright. I didnt expect you to make it Facebook official'
'Listen you. Youre trapped now. Or else. You're my scrub Daddy full-time now

The end

 

[CheekyCrackerLover]

Did this get posted here?

Mrs Hinch fans slam her new Lenor softener saying they have to "rewash clothes"

Mums say they rushed out to buy Mrs Hinch's Lenor Rose Wonderland but were disappointed - with one even claiming she 'thought she had Covid because she couldn't smell anything'.

www.dailyrecord.co.uk

This has just done me in

One fan said the Rose Wonderland softener is so banal she was left feeling like she "needed tested for Covid " because she couldn't smell anything.

 

[Unhinched22]

My thoughts are why did she decide to bring out another book about herself like she’s some kind of celebrity that everyone wants to know about that’s been around for years?!
Also correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t a memoir something to write when you’ve had plenty of life experience and have retired??!

 

[watermelon sugar]

Motherhood

Oh Motherhood guys. What a breeze. Some women say that's when they really feel like a woman.
To be honest with you guys, I didnt even notice he was here till he was 8 weeks old. I just gave birth, handed him to Jamie and asked where Henry was.
We swanned off right after i gave birth and I still didn't even notice Ronnie was there.
How did i give him the name Ronnie you ask? Well a lot of people say Jamie is the double of Tom Hardy, and we really liked the film Legend. So we called him Ronnie!!
Anyway. About 8 weeks after I gave birth i was rolling on the floor laughing and joking with my son, Henry, when I heard a cry. 'What the fucks that?' I asked Henry. I looked up and there was a baby in a moses basket! 'Woah! Where did this baby come!?'
Jamie came in, holding a wad of cash he just won at the bookies. 'Soph there's a spider there'
'Aaaahhh!' *slaps face*
'Anyway. What do you mean where did this baby come from? Hes been here for 2 months. Its Ronnie' Jamie said.
'Ronnie?'
'Youre acting crazy!'
I gasped. There was a nearby glass full of kettle boiled water mixed with Zoflora nearby. 'DONT YOU EVER SAY THAT WORD.' I threw the glass at the wall and collapsed on the floor in floods of tears
'This is great this babe. Play the PND card! But wait till you're picked up for a mem-wah then use it because you don't care about the shoppers enough to share your story and help them through their struggles are ya!'

So i managed to get through my struggle and get where I am today. I love cooking Rons dinners. Its the only thing I do for him. I love feeding him things that include spinach, sweet potato, tumeric, egg, not really melted cheese, croissant pastry, no wasabi but ill still say wasabi is in it! After every meal I sprinkle paprika on the counter as a celebration. I always plonk his food in front of him, get a quick pic then Jamie comes in and feeds him a cheese butty.

I dont do much else with him, Jamie does all that. How would I even have the time with my full time job as cleaning sensation Mrs Hinch!?

 

[tippingpoint]

Hahahaha the passage about Tattle. Ok take it off the internet for a minute. Take it to real life. You’re basically saying “There’s this group of women who don’t like me and meet up down the pub every Thursday where they bitch about me. I get up out my house and head down there to sit in the booth behind them incognito and listen to all the horrible things said about me that hurt so much”

Sounds weird doesn’t it? Sounds a really fucking weird thing to do. To seek out bad opinions about yourself? IF YA DON’T LIKE IT DON’T LOOK IN IT

Also the classic hun line “These women are mothers themselves” HAHAHAHA! Yep I’m a mother. I’m also still a person with opinions. Me anonymously discussing with other people how much I think your garden looks shit and full of tat has no impact on how I raise my daughter. You think I should be really nice about everyone because I have a child? That’s not real life and no I won’t be raising her with “If you can’t say anything nice don’t say it at all”. I’ll be raising her to form her own opinions and if that opinion is someone she knows or is aware of is a fucking idiot? Well then I’ll be teaching her not to go and tell them or message them because that causes unnecessary hurt. I’ll teach her to find someone like minded and sound off if she feels like it.

 

[Handsomezz]

I do think I’m the only bloke on this thread aren’t I? How did this happen to little old me? can’t believe she says about being mothers. Like that automatically means every mum has to love and support each other no matter what!

You're just little old shady from Tattle.life, I just can't believe it. You deserve it though hun #womensupportingshady

 

[When Life Gives You Lmons]

I follow quite a few home accounts from when I was a Hinch OG about 2 years ago before I woke up from my zoflora comma and realised what a twat she was.
Anyway this popped up on one of their stories, they still worship and adore her even though she makes them feel inadequate and basically shit?
I feel sad for her, I hope she finds her way over here

Oh hi. Have never posted in this thread before...They sure move fast!

I was on a hen do last year when my LG was 3 months old and said I was struggling to keep on top of any housework. About 5 of the women told me that I just HAD to follow Mrs Hinch - she was amazing, gorgeous and has some fab cleaning tips. Desperate, I started to follow for some motivation. Firstly, her house didn't do it for me (I have colour and mid-century furniture), but I was there for the cleaning, not house inspo. Any hoo, she was pregnant and instantly I thought "we'll see how tidy your house stays when you've got a baby". Anyway, the account bored me because there was more bump than cleaning and, quite frankly, I found it annoying that this unicorn woman fell pregnant shortly after her wedding when I had to undergo ivf. Not her fault, but stuff like that always leaves a bitter taste. I stayed a follower purely to see how the baby thing would work out for her and her house. Once it transpired that she still managed to keep her house clean and raise a child I unfollowed and still live in a shithole now. Since reading Tattle and learning that Jaymeee is on a 'career break' I realised she isn't a unicorn woman at all - she has extra pairs of hands to take off some of the load. While she dances around with her minkeh, she doesn't have to feel guilty that she isn't giving Ronnie any attention. Jealous? Yeah, I am a bit. I'd love to have a clean house, look presentable, have my partner at home, not have to work etc, but at least I don't have to sell my soul.

Very annoying to read she she was upset that that she didn't fall pregnant straight away. It took a couple of months. Try 3 years, love! I know a couple who have been going for 8!

Also, the PND admission didn't sit well with me. Why not be transparent at the time? Maybe it didn't happen and it's damage control...For balance, I don't think women who have PND can admit it immediately, and they do often pretend that everything is ok when it is not, but I don't get the need to keep it under wraps completely for all this time unless it is purely for the book. It's not fair.

I know women who follow her and I see them with immaculate (grey) homes and children on insta, yet they are struggling because they are doing all this while working. They get so stressed trying to do it all and it makes me sad for them. I like my filth pit. OK, I'm lying...

 

[Yel]

Thread title by @mucking.fuddle

The mem-wah is out tomorrow, of course she doesn't name tattle but says some more misleading lies. Her average follower will have no idea what the ASA is and that she was reported for breaching the rules - as any consumer is entitled to do with a buisness.

Of course no one sending abuse would be allowed on tattle, our #1 rule is to keep it on tattle. If anyone does cross the line memebers report them pretty quickly.

Short excerpts by @frostily

Please add anything important for new members to the wiki:

Mrs Hinch Wiki

Mrs. Hinch aka Sophie Hinchliffe, aged 34, (16 February 1990) is a saleswoman who had a successful sales career in Romford . She started an Instagram account, sought out and then signed to the biggest social media influencer agency in Europe to put her in contact with brands and earn tens of...

tattle.life

 

[Handsomezz]

I've just checked my shift tomorrow cause I thought I was a late shift and I'm now absolutely gutted that I'm an early so I'm going to miss Veruca on This Morning. I'm tempted to record it and watch it with some cruncky snacks and 10 litres of coke when I get home

 

[Lemongrab]

 

[GossipBug]

Did this get posted here?

Mrs Hinch fans slam her new Lenor softener saying they have to "rewash clothes"

Mums say they rushed out to buy Mrs Hinch's Lenor Rose Wonderland but were disappointed - with one even claiming she 'thought she had Covid because she couldn't smell anything'.

www.dailyrecord.co.uk

 

[mgh727]

My sister just asked if I wanted the new Mrs Hinch book for Christmas....we’re both adults now but is it still acceptable to give her a Chinese burn next time I see her??

 

[Debsy37]

I’m calling it now guys. She will cry actual (crocodile) tears on this morning about trolls and say in some form “if you want to know what I have been through just read the book”

 

[mammaof3]

I'm a little kate to the party regarding a few threads so here is my 2p worth.

Her talking about having trouble getting pregnant is a little bit insensitive considering she was married in Aug and got pregnant a month or so later, anyhoo this topic is a bit sore for some people so I’ll leave it at that.

On the Stacey Solomon podcast interview with the Grinch – When Sophie was pregnant Jamie said he had been directed from a work mate to read up on PND so he’d know what signs to look out for, but the You mag says she told him to read up on PND after they’d had Ron.
https://www.globalplayer.com/podcasts/42KqkK/
https://www.globalplayer.com/podcasts/episodes/7DraqQN/

If not already mentioned the trash you mag shoot was done on the 20/08/2020.

And what’s with the mum quotes, “my daughter is Mrs Hinch but my daughter is Sophie and that’s what’s so beautiful. Leave the trolls underneath you”
WTF is that, a Chinese proverb or something. Get in the bin Freda, you mad witch.

Mr Inch does not look 31 he looks a lot older than 41, if her bots think this then they all need to go to specsavers, as he is well looking his age, the fat fucker, and why is his clothing matching Ron’s? I have no words for this idiot. Grow a pair of testacles man.I am loving the tea from Fanny that pa and mad witch may have gone their separate ways. I wonder if that’s why Freda is extra clingy at the moment, she is everywhere, like the Rona.

Last Sunday breakfast at Mad Freda’s was rank and it looked like only 3 plates so it could be true about Pa?

24k for a post, you are fing joking, that is a lot of people yearly wages, and to think there’s VAT as well, so some poor sap of a company have to fork out £28.800 just for her to post to her bots. It is obscene.

So she hasn’t been on Tattle since 2019, so where does she get all her content from then and how come in the past she has used ATV if she hasn’t read it here.

Soph you need to remember your lies sweetie. I’ve a quote you can use.

The greatest advantage of speaking the truth is that you don't have to remember what you said.