This comment... I- Just stop the planet I want to get off.
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Breaking news, Elton John confirms he is working on a lyrical tribute to Mrs Hinch!
Goodbye Mrs Hinch
Though I never knew you at all
You had the grace to sell yourself
While those around you crawled
They admired your scented woodwork
Had all that Zoflora rotted your brain?
You stared on the treadmill
And Jamie made you change your name
And it seems to me you sold your life
Like a febreze doused candle in the wind
Never knowing who to whine to
When the trolls set in
And I would have liked to have known you
But I was just a “shopper”
Your popularity burned out long before
Your swipe ups ever did
Empathy was tough
The toughest role you ever played
Gleam created a superstar
And your conscience was the price you paid
Even when you cried
Oh Tattle still hounded you
All the forum had to say
Was that Hinch was a fraud and a fake
And it seems to me you sold your life
Like a febreeze doused candle in the wind
Never knowing who to whine to
When the trolls set in
And I would have liked to have known you
But I was just a shopper
Your popularity burned out long before
Your swipe ups ever did
Goodbye Mrs Hinch
Though I never knew you at all
You had the grace to hold yourself
While those around you crawled
Goodbye Mrs Hinch
From the young girl with toilet duck aplenty
And a bank balance of zero
Who sees you as an icon
More than just a hairdresser slash salesperson
And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a febreeze doused candle in the wind
Never knowing who to whine to
When the trolls set in
And I would have liked to have known you
But I was just a shopper
Your popularity burned out long before
Your swipe ups ever did
Your popularity burned out long before
Your desperation ever did