Move County or Move Country?

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I moved from Finland to UK 12 years ago. I feel like I don't belong to either country fully. Especially now with Brexit.
My partner is British, it's easier to live here. Though we would love to live in Finland. But the language is not easy to learn and it creates an issue to him with finding a job.
I so feel this. I’ve been in the UK 15 years and am still a stranger in many ways. And now I also don’t fully belong in Africa either 😢
 
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I would love to move abroad but my partner wouldn’t move more than 5 minutes away from his mother and mates. I also feel like I’m getting old now and want to have kids before I’m 30 and I think I’d want to be back here with them near family. Feel like I’ve missed my opportunity to travel/live abroad
 
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We (husband, 3 children and I) moved to Australia on a whim, we'd never visited before. That was five years ago. BEST decision we have made in our entire lives. I still pinch myself every day thinking how lucky we are. We sold everything we owned in England and came here with a backpack each and a laptop, a two week hire car and a week in a hotel. We were jobless and homeless when we landed! Within a week we had everything sorted. Honestly, it was the greatest adventure ever.


Having said that, we were a secure family unit who didn't ever rely on anyone other than ourselves. I've known several families who've lived here, struggled with being away from family they relied so heavily on for childcare or support, and they have since moved back. You'd probably have a bit of an issue getting here right now as our boarders are closed, however if you're serious, you should try. You only ever regret what you don't do, right?
 
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I moved countries and went from feeling connected to communal identity and culture, to never feeling like I belong.

There are benefits and consequences to immigration. The biggest loss for me is permanently being in limbo. Despite being a dual citizen, I feel like a foreigner in both countries, and there is no reversal at this point. I've accepted that I'll never truly belong to one or the other.

The plus side was feeling reborn and free, but it came at a price: to start again with forming new connections, and that gets more and more difficult with age.

It was "easy" for me to leave because I never had a chance to develop a deep connection with my family, unfortunately. I can only imagine how difficult it would be for someone with strong family ties.

Would I do it again with all that I know? Yes. It made me adaptable, independent, more patient, and a more understanding human being (speaking solely for myself).
 
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We would absolutely love to move to the US but we have no clue of how to get a job secured as it seems like an impossible task. I am just about to qualify as a Solicitor and it’s a useless qualification to have in the US, the only option I think is to do the New York or California bar. Myself & my partner love everything about the US, it’s our dream to move there. It’s just finding the way! We are contemplating Canada but we have never been there so not sure if we should look into it!
 
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We would absolutely love to move to the US but we have no clue of how to get a job secured as it seems like an impossible task. I am just about to qualify as a Solicitor and it’s a useless qualification to have in the US, the only option I think is to do the New York or California bar. Myself & my partner love everything about the US, it’s our dream to move there. It’s just finding the way! We are contemplating Canada but we have never been there so not sure if we should look into it!
I was going to do the New York bar but secured a one year internship in a legal role, doing leg work for an attorney, after I qualified in the UK. It was a tremendous year of being paid peanuts. Thankfully my mom and dad lived in NY so I had somewhere (free) to live. After that year, I travelled for a few months before moving back to England to work for an in-house solicitor for an insurance company. It seemed so dull after NY but I stayed for over 10 years as it was such a cushy role and I had my children during that time.
Now I'm in sunny Australia. I did my juris doctor here and I now work for legal aid. It is all good, but it is not NY. I always, always look back fondly at my time in america and wonder 'what if'. I just wish i had the money back then to do the NY bar, became a high flying attorney and I could have been retired by now in fiji!

Huge digression here, but if you can, go for it! Best wishes.
 
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I was going to do the New York bar but secured a one year internship in a legal role, doing leg work for an attorney, after I qualified in the UK. It was a tremendous year of being paid peanuts. Thankfully my mom and dad lived in NY so I had somewhere (free) to live. After that year, I travelled for a few months before moving back to England to work for an in-house solicitor for an insurance company. It seemed so dull after NY but I stayed for over 10 years as it was such a cushy role and I had my children during that time.
Now I'm in sunny Australia. I did my juris doctor here and I now work for legal aid. It is all good, but it is not NY. I always, always look back fondly at my time in america and wonder 'what if'. I just wish i had the money back then to do the NY bar, became a high flying attorney and I could have been retired by now in fiji!

Huge digression here, but if you can, go for it! Best wishes.
Thanks for sharing!!! So living in NY is everything I imagine it to be then! X
 
Interesting! I am also a solicitor but feel pretty stuck to the jurisdiction I’m qualified in. I can’t even get a new role in a different area cause everyone wants bloody experience. I hate private practice, trying to move in house but sometimes wonder maybe law just isn’t for me as I always feel I’m no where near as clever as other lawyers. Feel a bit like a fraud. And have an awful boss who has completely destroyed my confidence this last year but I’ve stuck it out cause I need to pay the bills. Meanwhile applying for every job going with no success.
 
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Having never lived outside my home town, I initally moved Counties 2 years ago.
Then earlier this year, my OH and I packed up, sold most of our possessions and shipped what we had left and moved to a country - where English is not the first language.

Honestly the stepping stone moving out of the hometown then sort of liberated me to move anywhere - moving 40 miles or 4000 miles the personal and mental process really is still the same, the rest is just logistics!
And people who know where we are say that we are so lucky.
And we are lucky. We have many, many more opportunities here than we would have in the UK.

My only regret.......I wish I had done this when I was younger!
 
Interesting! I am also a solicitor but feel pretty stuck to the jurisdiction I’m qualified in. I can’t even get a new role in a different area cause everyone wants bloody experience. I hate private practice, trying to move in house but sometimes wonder maybe law just isn’t for me as I always feel I’m no where near as clever as other lawyers. Feel a bit like a fraud. And have an awful boss who has completely destroyed my confidence this last year but I’ve stuck it out cause I need to pay the bills. Meanwhile applying for every job going with no success.
Me too. Google imposter syndrome.
Sorry you have a toxic boss :(
 
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I moved from London to New England, US and it was a pretty huge culture shock which I am still not used to (in some ways) 16 years later. I don't feel homesick for the UK anymore, but I also do not feel like I belong here even though I am a citizen. I feel a bit lost to be honest and have no clue where home is anymore. 🤷‍♀️
 
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I am South African by birth, but have dual nationality with the Uk, and moved here with my parents when I was in my early teens.

It did take time for me to settle in with the English way of doing things, especially during my formative school years and my funny "Suth Effrikaaan" accent as some called it in their funny little ways.

I do hop between both countries, so being homesick is never a problem. Obviously with this pandemic I have been in the UK for the last year or two. And like most things both countries have their plus points and of course their negatives. And if someone asked me to make a final choice between the two, I really wouldn't know how to answer. Perhaps come back to me in another 30 years when I'm in my 50s and I'll have a better idea. But for the moment I am happy with my lot.
 
Interesting! I am also a solicitor but feel pretty stuck to the jurisdiction I’m qualified in. I can’t even get a new role in a different area cause everyone wants bloody experience. I hate private practice, trying to move in house but sometimes wonder maybe law just isn’t for me as I always feel I’m no where near as clever as other lawyers. Feel a bit like a fraud. And have an awful boss who has completely destroyed my confidence this last year but I’ve stuck it out cause I need to pay the bills. Meanwhile applying for every job going with no success.
I have massive imposter syndrome in my job. I work in house (always have) and the company I work for are literally amazing. I feel like I don’t deserve my job. I got pregnant within 3 months of working there, they were so unbelievably supportive. Literally above & beyond supportive. Since I have been back from maternity, I have been in and out of hospital with stomach issues, again, ridiculously supportive. Compared with when I worked for a competitor 5 years ago, I was miserable. I became ill because my management and senior management were discriminatory and power hungry. I actually left working in law and took a year working for family. I pressed the reset button. I’m still left with a confidence knock but slowly getting back to where I need to be. i love working in law, I really do. But I do feel like you are stuck to your jurisdiction unless you have an amazing opportunity arise. A girl I have worked with before moved to Oz and didn’t have to re-train as she moved within her company. I also know people who move to Dubai and don’t retrain. I was offered HK when I handed my notice in to the above company who made me miserable. I would have loved to move but I couldn’t keep working for them.
something will come up, I am sure of it. You have to be patience. If you want to move abroad, I defo would recommend working in-house for an international company. X
 
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I have moved from Russia to UK, and I used to live in a big city and I know live in a small town.
I miss my friends, obviously, and I miss the big city living. Also because things are a lot cheaper in Russia I could afford more, like eating out and beauty treatments.
Me and my husband are thinking about moving from UK somewhere else. I would love to move again to somewhere like Canada, or any other country where people don’t hate foreigners 😂 Husband loves his home town though, so I doubt we will ever move.
That's the opposite of me! I'm from the UK but moved to Russia 6 years ago. You're right. Everything is a hell of a lot cheaper here but there are just some things you can't get like good cheese and cordial. I've never looked back though and see Russia as my new home x
 
I've moved the other way (UK to Aus) and back again, with plans to return to the UK next year. Honestly, I love Australia but the UK feels more like home now (despite my family mostly being here in Australia!) ( I am also a single woman, so diff life circumstances!)

I think any international move relies on you being prepared for there being hard times, and for feeling like a fish out of water, even without a language barrier. The culture can be quite different! Also depending on which state/city you move to.

A few other questions you guys might find useful to work through: What sort of life do you want your kids to have growing up? What could you do to make that possible closer to home and grandparents? What could you do to make the distance feel less if you do move to Australia? Can the grandparents afford to travel to visit? Would you be planning on annual visits back to visit family? Are you sure Australia will offer the lifestyle you want?

Best of luck whatever you decide!
 
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That's the opposite of me! I'm from the UK but moved to Russia 6 years ago. You're right. Everything is a hell of a lot cheaper here but there are just some things you can't get like good cheese and cordial. I've never looked back though and see Russia as my new home x
Oh wow, I haven’t met a lot of people who moved from Uk to Russia!
Glad to hear you like it there 😊 And I believe there are ways to find good cheese, or at least there used to be before Covid 😂 My friends used to use various companies that would buy food in Finland and then deliver it.
Whereabouts are you in Russia, if I may ask?
 
I've moved the other way (UK to Aus) and back again, with plans to return to the UK next year. Honestly, I love Australia but the UK feels more like home now (despite my family mostly being here in Australia!) ( I am also a single woman, so diff life circumstances!)

I think any international move relies on you being prepared for there being hard times, and for feeling like a fish out of water, even without a language barrier. The culture can be quite different! Also depending on which state/city you move to.

A few other questions you guys might find useful to work through: What sort of life do you want your kids to have growing up? What could you do to make that possible closer to home and grandparents? What could you do to make the distance feel less if you do move to Australia? Can the grandparents afford to travel to visit? Would you be planning on annual visits back to visit family? Are you sure Australia will offer the lifestyle you want?

Best of luck whatever you decide!
Thank you! These are things we have thought about for years. We want a more outdoorsy lifestyle. We are an active family and believe that the outdoor recreational opportunities are much better in Oz. There’s FaceTime and there’s annual flights while their health permits. (Oh and effing covid effs off).

I am 100% sure Oz will offer what we want. We’ve both lived there and fell in love with it. I’ve been back five times since living out there initially in my early twenties.

It’s all in full swing. Skills assessment and English test coming up ✅
 
Yeah I feel like a lot of people are happier in house I definitely want to try and move in house. But where I live not many big companies have offices, even the bigger law firms. We only really have oil and gas and it’s so hard to get in house in oil and gas with no experience 😫

I have massive imposter syndrome in my job. I work in house (always have) and the company I work for are literally amazing. I feel like I don’t deserve my job. I got pregnant within 3 months of working there, they were so unbelievably supportive. Literally above & beyond supportive. Since I have been back from maternity, I have been in and out of hospital with stomach issues, again, ridiculously supportive. Compared with when I worked for a competitor 5 years ago, I was miserable. I became ill because my management and senior management were discriminatory and power hungry. I actually left working in law and took a year working for family. I pressed the reset button. I’m still left with a confidence knock but slowly getting back to where I need to be. i love working in law, I really do. But I do feel like you are stuck to your jurisdiction unless you have an amazing opportunity arise. A girl I have worked with before moved to Oz and didn’t have to re-train as she moved within her company. I also know people who move to Dubai and don’t retrain. I was offered HK when I handed my notice in to the above company who made me miserable. I would have loved to move but I couldn’t keep working for them.
something will come up, I am sure of it. You have to be patience. If you want to move abroad, I defo would recommend working in-house for an international company. X
 
Yeah I feel like a lot of people are happier in house I definitely want to try and move in house. But where I live not many big companies have offices, even the bigger law firms. We only really have oil and gas and it’s so hard to get in house in oil and gas with no experience 😫
Just keep trying. Oil & gas can give amazing opportunities abroad!
 
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Oh wow, I haven’t met a lot of people who moved from Uk to Russia!
Glad to hear you like it there 😊 And I believe there are ways to find good cheese, or at least there used to be before Covid 😂 My friends used to use various companies that would buy food in Finland and then deliver it.
Whereabouts are you in Russia, if I may ask?
Yes there is the imported cheese from Switzerland and the Baltics but nothing compares to a UK cheddar! I've just spent the past 5 years in Moscow and now in SPB. Where are you from originally?