Move County or Move Country?

[Ohflogoff]

Hi tattlers.
I’m wondering if anyone here has either moved county or country?

We are a young family and both have careers we love. For a while we’ve felt as though the area we live in is not where we want our kids to grow up.

we looked at areas close enough to commute (1.5hrs in the car away), but as we rely on grandaprents for childcare, we would mean we would be much worse off financially.

The other option is Australia. One part of me would love to take the plunge. The other part feels homesick already.

anyone else done it?

 

[Gembo]

We’ve moved county twice, we went from living in a city, to a town and now we live very rurally. We’ve never regretted it, especially when we moved to where we are now our lifestyle completely changed for the better. I’m equally happy in a city or the countryside but some people prefer one or another. We don’t have children so childcare was not an issue for us but I think we would prefer to raise our children where we are now if we had them than in the city.

Australia is actually something we keep considering. I’m on the fence about it really, my husband is keener on the idea than me but I’ve been there a few times and travelled around it too for a few months and just think it’s wonderful, definitely has a lot to offer families. Sorry my answer isnt really much help but I think it’s really worth thinking about the lifestyle you’d like to have. For us living in the city we were close to shops, bars etc but you had to drive everywhere to go somewhere nice, we didn’t live somewhere you’d want to go for a walk unless you fancied it turning into a jog once the local gangs started chasing you. Even the shops etc weren’t on our doorstep but were easily accessible by car/bus. Where we live now is surrounded by countryside, we love going for long walks in the summer, we have a few traditional old country pubs with roaring fires within walking distance, we feel more relaxed at home, everything’s slower and quieter but still plenty of things going on in the village. And we are close enough to a couple of cities and shopping centres that we can drive to.
I’m rambling now!

 

[Mrs McCarthy]

I have moved from Russia to UK, and I used to live in a big city and I know live in a small town.
I miss my friends, obviously, and I miss the big city living. Also because things are a lot cheaper in Russia I could afford more, like eating out and beauty treatments.
Me and my husband are thinking about moving from UK somewhere else. I would love to move again to somewhere like Canada, or any other country where people don’t hate foreigners Husband loves his home town though, so I doubt we will ever move.

 

[Am49704]

We moved to Spain around a year ago and love it here, the wages are a lot lower than the UK but we live here for the life not the momey.

 

[Swipeuplikeandshare]

This is an interesting one - we are considering moving an hours drive away and it’s causing major arguments!

 

[blondelolita]

No, but I would consider moving from the city to the countryside for definite.

 

[SunshineDreamer]

Before corona virus hit, my husband and I were ready to move to NYC for his job. Since then we’ve both quit our jobs and we’re in the process of deciding what we want to do. We still love the idea of NYC but now we’re also considering Californians staying in London. We’re both incredibly indecisive but I say follow your heart.

 

[orangelolly]

I moved 250 miles from a large city to a very small town. Best move we (my husband and I) ever made.

 

[Casperron]

I moved about 600 miles, lived there a year and moved back! Worst mistake of my life

 

[BettyCrocker]

Hi tattlers.
I’m wondering if anyone here has either moved county or country?

We are a young family and both have careers we love. For a while we’ve felt as though the area we live in is not where we want our kids to grow up.

we looked at areas close enough to commute (1.5hrs in the car away), but as we rely on grandaprents for childcare, we would mean we would be much worse off financially.

The other option is Australia. One part of me would love to take the plunge. The other part feels homesick already.

anyone else done it?

things to consider regarding Australia; it might seem an exiting prospect, but the reality might be quite different. Once you get there, will you both still have to go out to work to earn the money required to live comfortably? If so, childcare will still be an issue. Would you both be able to get the appropriate visas & work permits to allow you both to work? Would you both be able to find work easily?

ive moved internationally pre kids/husband and I’ve moved around the UK with husband & kids. We have lived at opposite ends of the UK. I’d say 100% move to a new area in order to feel more comfortable with where your kids are growing up but work out a way to move so your lifestyle can be the best it can. Could you look at cheaper areas to move to, to offset the childcare costs?

 

[Rlaw1978]

We have moved country several times, Dubai, Hong Kong, U.K., States.
Personally I could live anywhere in the world, but then I’ve moved countries a lot since a small child so I am use to it. I’d say a lot depends on your background- what your use to but also how independent and self sufficient you are. If you depend emotionally on extended family, there’s no doubt you will find it a lot harder. Moving to the next county over will obviously be less of a strain than say Australia.
Sometimes places are better left as a holiday location rather than ‘home’.
The only way you’ll know is to try it, give yourselves say a month living in a location you like. But you have to behave as if it’s forever, make it into everyday life as you would where you are now.

 

[Ohflogoff]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. Oz is appealing as we’ve both lived there Pre kids and loved it. Aside from family, there’s nothing that I wouldn’t miss from here. Jobs pay well, but am aware the cost of living is higher. Childcare wouldn’t be through the roof as it’s wage dependant. It’s literally the distance from family and if something tragic happened I wouldn’t be able to get there in five minutes, and visa versa.

To move further away, would mean leaving our jobs and wages/jobs would be difficult to come by. Although I WFH I also do a lot of face to face so wouldn’t be able to keep my job.

argh.

 

[Skiddidlydaddle]

Hello, I've lived abroad a lot. Sweden and the States when I was a teenager (au pair years abroad) and for the past 9 years I've moved with my husbands job to Switzerland, Shanghai and now Italy. We have a child and its not been a problem moving with him, he is getting a great life experience. The best thing is living in a beautiful place where people come to go on holiday but the day to day grind is the same as anywhere. Except, there is a language barrier and I miss the feeling of totally belonging, not being a foreigner.

The worst thing is making a good group of friends and then leaving them. People are always coming and going in this type of expat community.

I say go for it. You only live once and no decision is forever, you can change your mind if it's not for you (albeit it will be an expensive lesson).

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

I've moved from South Africa to the UK and I would consider moving again (somewhere warm!) but my OH is British and don't want to move. But I am adventurous like that.

I would say go for it if you are both in agreement and if you think you both would be happy to move back if it doesn't work out. Something like this can put a huge strain on a marriage or partnership, especially if one hates it and wants to come back

 

[bubbadabut]

Hi tattlers.
I’m wondering if anyone here has either moved county or country?

We are a young family and both have careers we love. For a while we’ve felt as though the area we live in is not where we want our kids to grow up.

we looked at areas close enough to commute (1.5hrs in the car away), but as we rely on grandaprents for childcare, we would mean we would be much worse off financially.

The other option is Australia. One part of me would love to take the plunge. The other part feels homesick already.

anyone else done it?

My husband and I moved to New Zealand in 2009 with an eye to eventually moving to Australia. (Moving to Australia was always my husband's dream, he is a doctor and had worked their previously and loved it). I also had prior experience of living and working abroad as I used to live in Madrid (incredible place) so thought I'd be able to give it a good go. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I absolutely hated NZ, absolutely everything about it. I think I lasted 6 months before coming home. My husband followed 3 months later as he had to see out his work contract.

I was desperately homesick and I hated the fact that when I was awake I couldn't talk to my family or friends as they were asleep. I am not an outdoorsy person so the landscape and activities held no appeal for me. I missed having UK and European cities on my doorstep, everything just seemed so distant and spaced out. I found it racist, sexist, and it was like living in the 50s. Hated the functional architecture, crap internet, crap TV and non-existent public transport. The only good thing about NZ is Flight of the Conchords. My husband kept telling me Australia was different but by that point I'd had enough and I came home via Singapore (also incredible)

I have two former colleagues who emigrated to Adelaide and Christchurch respectively. They both love it and are Australian and NZ citizens now, but it just wasn't for me. Maybe you could take the kids and have an extended holiday in Oz. Are the kids old enough to have an opinion?

 

[Ohflogoff]

Are the kids old enough to have an opinion?

Not really. Thank you for sharing your experience. That sounds like it sucked big time.

We are going to suck it and see. If we don’t go, we’ll never know.

 

[bubbadabut]

Not really. Thank you for sharing your experience. That sounds like it sucked big time.

We are going to suck it and see. If we don’t go, we’ll never know.

Better to do it than never do it and regret it forever. Also will be a lot easier to make the move with the kids being young. Have you thought about the kind of area you would want to be in? Although we were in a city in NZ, it was no bigger than a small town in the UK really, and hundreds of miles away from any other 'city'. We did spend some time in Wellington and Auckland too, but they were equally sleepy and underwhelming (to me at least - apologies to any Kiwis!). Australian cities seem to be more diverse and exciting.

 

[Ohflogoff]

Better to do it than never do it and regret it forever. Also will be a lot easier to make the move with the kids being young. Have you thought about the kind of area you would want to be in? Although we were in a city in NZ, it was no bigger than a small town in the UK really, and hundreds of miles away from any other 'city'. We did spend some time in Wellington and Auckland too, but they were equally sleepy and underwhelming (to me at least - apologies to any Kiwis!). Australian cities seem to be more diverse and exciting.

We have friends dotted about, so would prefer to be near someone familiar. Other than that, we will just go where job prospects are promising.

 

[Causewaygal]

I moved to Ireland two years ago from Derbyshire and I love it most of the time. I moved around a lot in England and never felt settled. I’ve also lived in Australia and while it was fun for a while I grew to hate the bugs and always being afraid of something biting or stinging me I’m very outdoorsy and also love water sports and the fears left me feeling restricted.
Over here I can do all the things I love but as odd as it sounds I really miss Waitrose and my virgin active gym I’ve also just discovered the hard way this afternoon that hunting with dogs is still legal here and I’ve had a few hours of thinking should I go back to England.
Sorry I went off on a tangent there. Ultimately I’d suggest need to weigh up all the pros and cons as a family good luck

 

[Annim]

I moved from Finland to UK 12 years ago. I feel like I don't belong to either country fully. Especially now with Brexit.
My partner is British, it's easier to live here. Though we would love to live in Finland. But the language is not easy to learn and it creates an issue to him with finding a job.