Move County or Move Country?

[Gembo]

We’ve moved county twice, we went from living in a city, to a town and now we live very rurally. We’ve never regretted it, especially when we moved to where we are now our lifestyle completely changed for the better. I’m equally happy in a city or the countryside but some people prefer one or another. We don’t have children so childcare was not an issue for us but I think we would prefer to raise our children where we are now if we had them than in the city.

Australia is actually something we keep considering. I’m on the fence about it really, my husband is keener on the idea than me but I’ve been there a few times and travelled around it too for a few months and just think it’s wonderful, definitely has a lot to offer families. Sorry my answer isnt really much help but I think it’s really worth thinking about the lifestyle you’d like to have. For us living in the city we were close to shops, bars etc but you had to drive everywhere to go somewhere nice, we didn’t live somewhere you’d want to go for a walk unless you fancied it turning into a jog once the local gangs started chasing you. Even the shops etc weren’t on our doorstep but were easily accessible by car/bus. Where we live now is surrounded by countryside, we love going for long walks in the summer, we have a few traditional old country pubs with roaring fires within walking distance, we feel more relaxed at home, everything’s slower and quieter but still plenty of things going on in the village. And we are close enough to a couple of cities and shopping centres that we can drive to.
I’m rambling now!

 

[Gemgemgemgem]

We (husband, 3 children and I) moved to Australia on a whim, we'd never visited before. That was five years ago. BEST decision we have made in our entire lives. I still pinch myself every day thinking how lucky we are. We sold everything we owned in England and came here with a backpack each and a laptop, a two week hire car and a week in a hotel. We were jobless and homeless when we landed! Within a week we had everything sorted. Honestly, it was the greatest adventure ever.


Having said that, we were a secure family unit who didn't ever rely on anyone other than ourselves. I've known several families who've lived here, struggled with being away from family they relied so heavily on for childcare or support, and they have since moved back. You'd probably have a bit of an issue getting here right now as our boarders are closed, however if you're serious, you should try. You only ever regret what you don't do, right?

 

[BettyCrocker]

Hi tattlers.
I’m wondering if anyone here has either moved county or country?

We are a young family and both have careers we love. For a while we’ve felt as though the area we live in is not where we want our kids to grow up.

we looked at areas close enough to commute (1.5hrs in the car away), but as we rely on grandaprents for childcare, we would mean we would be much worse off financially.

The other option is Australia. One part of me would love to take the plunge. The other part feels homesick already.

anyone else done it?

things to consider regarding Australia; it might seem an exiting prospect, but the reality might be quite different. Once you get there, will you both still have to go out to work to earn the money required to live comfortably? If so, childcare will still be an issue. Would you both be able to get the appropriate visas & work permits to allow you both to work? Would you both be able to find work easily?

ive moved internationally pre kids/husband and I’ve moved around the UK with husband & kids. We have lived at opposite ends of the UK. I’d say 100% move to a new area in order to feel more comfortable with where your kids are growing up but work out a way to move so your lifestyle can be the best it can. Could you look at cheaper areas to move to, to offset the childcare costs?

 

[Rlaw1978]

We have moved country several times, Dubai, Hong Kong, U.K., States.
Personally I could live anywhere in the world, but then I’ve moved countries a lot since a small child so I am use to it. I’d say a lot depends on your background- what your use to but also how independent and self sufficient you are. If you depend emotionally on extended family, there’s no doubt you will find it a lot harder. Moving to the next county over will obviously be less of a strain than say Australia.
Sometimes places are better left as a holiday location rather than ‘home’.
The only way you’ll know is to try it, give yourselves say a month living in a location you like. But you have to behave as if it’s forever, make it into everyday life as you would where you are now.

 

[Annim]

I moved from Finland to UK 12 years ago. I feel like I don't belong to either country fully. Especially now with Brexit.
My partner is British, it's easier to live here. Though we would love to live in Finland. But the language is not easy to learn and it creates an issue to him with finding a job.

 

[bubbadabut]

Hi tattlers.
I’m wondering if anyone here has either moved county or country?

We are a young family and both have careers we love. For a while we’ve felt as though the area we live in is not where we want our kids to grow up.

we looked at areas close enough to commute (1.5hrs in the car away), but as we rely on grandaprents for childcare, we would mean we would be much worse off financially.

The other option is Australia. One part of me would love to take the plunge. The other part feels homesick already.

anyone else done it?

My husband and I moved to New Zealand in 2009 with an eye to eventually moving to Australia. (Moving to Australia was always my husband's dream, he is a doctor and had worked their previously and loved it). I also had prior experience of living and working abroad as I used to live in Madrid (incredible place) so thought I'd be able to give it a good go. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I absolutely hated NZ, absolutely everything about it. I think I lasted 6 months before coming home. My husband followed 3 months later as he had to see out his work contract.

I was desperately homesick and I hated the fact that when I was awake I couldn't talk to my family or friends as they were asleep. I am not an outdoorsy person so the landscape and activities held no appeal for me. I missed having UK and European cities on my doorstep, everything just seemed so distant and spaced out. I found it racist, sexist, and it was like living in the 50s. Hated the functional architecture, crap internet, crap TV and non-existent public transport. The only good thing about NZ is Flight of the Conchords. My husband kept telling me Australia was different but by that point I'd had enough and I came home via Singapore (also incredible)

I have two former colleagues who emigrated to Adelaide and Christchurch respectively. They both love it and are Australian and NZ citizens now, but it just wasn't for me. Maybe you could take the kids and have an extended holiday in Oz. Are the kids old enough to have an opinion?

 

[Ohflogoff]

Are the kids old enough to have an opinion?

Not really. Thank you for sharing your experience. That sounds like it sucked big time.

We are going to suck it and see. If we don’t go, we’ll never know.

 

[Mrs McCarthy]

I have moved from Russia to UK, and I used to live in a big city and I know live in a small town.
I miss my friends, obviously, and I miss the big city living. Also because things are a lot cheaper in Russia I could afford more, like eating out and beauty treatments.
Me and my husband are thinking about moving from UK somewhere else. I would love to move again to somewhere like Canada, or any other country where people don’t hate foreigners Husband loves his home town though, so I doubt we will ever move.

 

[actuallyeducated]

I would love to move abroad but my partner wouldn’t move more than 5 minutes away from his mother and mates. I also feel like I’m getting old now and want to have kids before I’m 30 and I think I’d want to be back here with them near family. Feel like I’ve missed my opportunity to travel/live abroad

 

[Herefortheteeeee]

We would absolutely love to move to the US but we have no clue of how to get a job secured as it seems like an impossible task. I am just about to qualify as a Solicitor and it’s a useless qualification to have in the US, the only option I think is to do the New York or California bar. Myself & my partner love everything about the US, it’s our dream to move there. It’s just finding the way! We are contemplating Canada but we have never been there so not sure if we should look into it!

 

[Sabbie]

I moved from London to New England, US and it was a pretty huge culture shock which I am still not used to (in some ways) 16 years later. I don't feel homesick for the UK anymore, but I also do not feel like I belong here even though I am a citizen. I feel a bit lost to be honest and have no clue where home is anymore.

 

[Ohflogoff]

Better to do it than never do it and regret it forever. Also will be a lot easier to make the move with the kids being young. Have you thought about the kind of area you would want to be in? Although we were in a city in NZ, it was no bigger than a small town in the UK really, and hundreds of miles away from any other 'city'. We did spend some time in Wellington and Auckland too, but they were equally sleepy and underwhelming (to me at least - apologies to any Kiwis!). Australian cities seem to be more diverse and exciting.

We have friends dotted about, so would prefer to be near someone familiar. Other than that, we will just go where job prospects are promising.

 

[Gemgemgemgem]

We would absolutely love to move to the US but we have no clue of how to get a job secured as it seems like an impossible task. I am just about to qualify as a Solicitor and it’s a useless qualification to have in the US, the only option I think is to do the New York or California bar. Myself & my partner love everything about the US, it’s our dream to move there. It’s just finding the way! We are contemplating Canada but we have never been there so not sure if we should look into it!

I was going to do the New York bar but secured a one year internship in a legal role, doing leg work for an attorney, after I qualified in the UK. It was a tremendous year of being paid peanuts. Thankfully my mom and dad lived in NY so I had somewhere (free) to live. After that year, I travelled for a few months before moving back to England to work for an in-house solicitor for an insurance company. It seemed so dull after NY but I stayed for over 10 years as it was such a cushy role and I had my children during that time.
Now I'm in sunny Australia. I did my juris doctor here and I now work for legal aid. It is all good, but it is not NY. I always, always look back fondly at my time in america and wonder 'what if'. I just wish i had the money back then to do the NY bar, became a high flying attorney and I could have been retired by now in fiji!

Huge digression here, but if you can, go for it! Best wishes.

 

[SunshineDreamer]

Before corona virus hit, my husband and I were ready to move to NYC for his job. Since then we’ve both quit our jobs and we’re in the process of deciding what we want to do. We still love the idea of NYC but now we’re also considering Californians staying in London. We’re both incredibly indecisive but I say follow your heart.

 

[Gemgemgemgem]

Interesting! I am also a solicitor but feel pretty stuck to the jurisdiction I’m qualified in. I can’t even get a new role in a different area cause everyone wants bloody experience. I hate private practice, trying to move in house but sometimes wonder maybe law just isn’t for me as I always feel I’m no where near as clever as other lawyers. Feel a bit like a fraud. And have an awful boss who has completely destroyed my confidence this last year but I’ve stuck it out cause I need to pay the bills. Meanwhile applying for every job going with no success.

Me too. Google imposter syndrome.
Sorry you have a toxic boss

 

[Herefortheteeeee]

Yeah I feel like a lot of people are happier in house I definitely want to try and move in house. But where I live not many big companies have offices, even the bigger law firms. We only really have oil and gas and it’s so hard to get in house in oil and gas with no experience

Just keep trying. Oil & gas can give amazing opportunities abroad!

 

[Skiddidlydaddle]

Hello, I've lived abroad a lot. Sweden and the States when I was a teenager (au pair years abroad) and for the past 9 years I've moved with my husbands job to Switzerland, Shanghai and now Italy. We have a child and its not been a problem moving with him, he is getting a great life experience. The best thing is living in a beautiful place where people come to go on holiday but the day to day grind is the same as anywhere. Except, there is a language barrier and I miss the feeling of totally belonging, not being a foreigner.

The worst thing is making a good group of friends and then leaving them. People are always coming and going in this type of expat community.

I say go for it. You only live once and no decision is forever, you can change your mind if it's not for you (albeit it will be an expensive lesson).

 

[actuallyeducated]

Interesting! I am also a solicitor but feel pretty stuck to the jurisdiction I’m qualified in. I can’t even get a new role in a different area cause everyone wants bloody experience. I hate private practice, trying to move in house but sometimes wonder maybe law just isn’t for me as I always feel I’m no where near as clever as other lawyers. Feel a bit like a fraud. And have an awful boss who has completely destroyed my confidence this last year but I’ve stuck it out cause I need to pay the bills. Meanwhile applying for every job going with no success.

 

[Casperron]

I moved about 600 miles, lived there a year and moved back! Worst mistake of my life

 

[CarrieW24]

I moved countries and went from feeling connected to communal identity and culture, to never feeling like I belong.

There are benefits and consequences to immigration. The biggest loss for me is permanently being in limbo. Despite being a dual citizen, I feel like a foreigner in both countries, and there is no reversal at this point. I've accepted that I'll never truly belong to one or the other.

The plus side was feeling reborn and free, but it came at a price: to start again with forming new connections, and that gets more and more difficult with age.

It was "easy" for me to leave because I never had a chance to develop a deep connection with my family, unfortunately. I can only imagine how difficult it would be for someone with strong family ties.

Would I do it again with all that I know? Yes. It made me adaptable, independent, more patient, and a more understanding human being (speaking solely for myself).