Mother Pukka - Anna Whitehouse

[Catom]

Hi guys, I don't think I have ever posted on this thread, I am usually over on PTWM's or FODs.... buuut, I have read the book so I thought I'd guve you my opinion. Anna's hubby Matt said that they only put Anna's name on the book cos in fiction you can only have one writer. I don't know if this is true or not. Any way... the book. The writing is OK, a lot better than anything PTWM could manage, and at some point you do actually feel for the 2 main characters. It did say the book had a "dark tragic twist" at the end... and erm... no. It was quite obvious what was going to happen. One of the characters is blatantly based on Anna herself. The main message of the book is that followers only see a tiny bit of the reality behind a IG profile. Both characters are meant to be friends but end up hurting eachother cos they get misslead by eachothers posts on IG and dont actually talk to eachother in real life. At one point you are supposed to beleive that the character didn't read the room before putting up a badly thought out post on IG cos she herself was suffering in her marriage.... The book tries to make you think "awww poor her, she's got enough on her plate and she needs to pay the bills". Even after reading the book my mind has not been changed. I still feel that if you plaster your life on social media, you have to take responsability for response, be it positive or negative. Even if you have a lot on your plate. Find a different way to pay the bills. Don't expect all viewers to like you.

 

[Dogmuck]

Well I finished the book and actually really liked it! I won’t repeat what has been said about the plot as that has already been summarised. I think Anna fully accepts she isn’t going to be liked by all and she takes on board that a lot of people brought up valid points on here regarding transparency with ads, not using your children etc. I think it’s the extreme trolls that send full on hate in the dms that is what she isn’t down with which is understandable. This site is for opinions and we are able to discuss views that on the gram you just get shut down with the whole BEKIND movement. I think basically if you don’t like her then you probs won’t like the book. I’m usually on the PTWM threads and she is bloody awful and I wouldn’t be buying her book. I have more time for Anna as she is opening up important discussions and trying to make changes with working. I know that she is also making money on the back of it but she doesn’t bang out ads every other day. She has learnt lessons and moved on with it, that’s a lot more than can be said for a lot of the instamums.

Fair enough comments there @ILoveUnicorns - I personally don’t like her scheming and I think the bar is very low if we want to compare one grifter to the next. The influencers, that’s what she was/is, are all on Instagram to sell, there is no other reason, well bar a bit of narcissism and dopamine hits, so when that it universally acknowledge by them, then I will accept their worth and their status. They are certainly not people to behold as ideals for women and that is my main beef.

There’s no doubt the flex appeal has merit but she runs that like it’s an altruistic act, it’s not, I’m not sure what that, if anything, pays her but it’s an angle that has opened doors for her that would be closed to most. It’s enabled her to promote herself and be in the limelight thus providing her with a career in media and some clout to sell her book whilst maintaining the status as some kind of philanthropist. She has written a book about women for women to buy and she has utilised every single female trigger point to up sales, flexible working, childcare,PND, PPP, C section scars, dildos...this list is endless, but whatever sells eh? As for Ads her page is one huge Ad, she does still do the obvious paid ones but promoting her book, her radio show...they are ads too. It’s disingenuous and it grinds my gears.

 

[SilverSpoonNotIncluded]

Am baffled by the latest one I’ll be honest. I agree to an extent that childcare in the holidays is hard, but what exactly is it she’s wanting the government to do? I don’t know what the solution is that she would like? Businesses can’t give parents more leave, WFH doesn’t solve the problem as you can’t work and parent at the same time. Is she wanting Boris to put on more affordable holiday clubs? Local authorities? More time in school? Sorry if I’m missing the point it just seems a vague and wishy washy to me. If you’re going to campaign for something and call on the government to act - surely you should have a very specific ask? I also think I find it a bit much she’s acting like she works M-F 9-5 in an office with an inflexible boss. No Anna, you do a Sunday radio show and then do… stuff the other days!

 

[MaggyMay]

That 'when I was 12' sob story was such a load of horse sh*t. MP if you want to post a thirst trap vid of you dancing in your big pink dress you can. This isn't xfactor. You don't need to attach a sob story.

 

[Lovestolurk]

Wow. This is completely missing the point of inclusion.

And the way she trademarked it at the bottom like she thought it was going to go viral. Pearls of privileged wisdom

 

[SilverSpoonNotIncluded]

I just find the fact she doesn’t even acknowledge that she CHOSE to be an influencer, CHOSE to monetise her children, CHOSE to promote products aimed at new mums and acts like she’s above it all and just a casual observer to the Instamum thing so so so so so so so so so so hypocritical. Anna, you’re one of them love.

 

[Badabing101]

So many thoughts on this and the way it has been reported / communicated. I had severe perinatal OCD (around illness and harm) which very nearly broke me - particularly in the post natal period. It sent me under, as I genuinely thought I was going ‘mad’ and questioned my sanity on a daily basis, it was such a dark, dark time for me and my family. One of the things I was petrified (as part of the OCD) about was developing PPP because I was having terrible intrusive thoughts and thought that no one in their right mind could be thinking the things I was thinking (I was genuinely terrified of my own head). Anyway to cut a long story short I am very disappointed and questioning why Anna has not shared more specifics on how this awful illness (PPP & PND) manifested and presented itself. My issue is similar to a previous poster’s comment about lack of details on this, especially as she has chosen to go public with her experience. I am not questioning her illness or integrity, I am questioning the reasons and thinking behind her releasing this story with very little by way of information. Maybe I am
personalising this due to my own experience... but to skim over PPP is at worst irresponsible and at best unhelpful. PPP (as others have said) is a severe illness which generally presents within the first couple of months and requires emergency treatment and care. The aftermath of depression, anxiety and trauma that occurs after the initial episode is another major hurdle to overcome and can take years to gradually get better. As I said above, I am not questioning the illness and her experience, but I do feel it would be helpful of her to have shared a few more details of symptoms and examples especially as she made the announcement - nobody has forced her. I want to stress this is not because I am nosy, it’s because she has a big platform and audience which means she could do a lot of good. She wouldn’t have to be the poster girl or anything like that... If I was to share my experience of PN OCD and PND I would be making damn sure my audience knew the details of what to look out for so that they could seek help.

 

[notthefullshilling]

Any reckoning of influencer culture and how it impacts women must start with a critical analysis of how this is fuelled by rampant capitalism, and its intersection with class and gender and how it thrives on inequality and individualism. All this ties together how different women are impacted differently by working conditions, caring responsibilities and by advertising. Anything else is just tinkering around the edges and reinforcing stereotypes. It goes so much deeper than anything she is saying she will raise so far. The influencer stuff is just symptomatic of a truly effed up society. IMO!

 

[Dogmuck]

How white is that gathering? Couldn't scream WHITE MIDDLE CLASS PRIVILEGE more if it tried.

She even do girls kisses just in case we’re doubting how cool she is

And that’s the woman who’s suppoted Anna and matt through so much...she’s a photographer...she’s been there for every graffiti back drop shoot

 

[Slatternly]

So she’s posted a link to Amazon reviews and has asked people who’ve posted a review to slide into her DMs for discussion purposes. Nothing creepy and controlling about that whatsoever! Micro-managing the shit out of life and how people see her. She’s so unbelievably carefully curated isn’t she?

She’s coming across as desperate now. I know it’s hard to flog a book but surely the work needs to speak for itself? The reviews on Amazon look like they’ve been written by her mates and that they’ve been proof read by her in advance. This is rubbish PR Anna and you are treating your audience like idiots by bludgeoning them on the head like this.

And one of the reviews calls her a ‘literary genius.’ So so fake. It’s not something you would say about a favourite book. You would be reviewing the book not the person if you were genuine.

 

[Treesy19]

Totally agree - depends on the industry as to the specific dynamics in which it works or has the capacity to work. I work in data and can do this at home on my work laptop. Granted I don’t wish todo this everyday I will still go in regularly for sanity reasons and training etc. Nobody else in my company does my exact job so nobody “picks up the slack” (Hate that phrase, it’s complete tosh) if I abandon a spreadsheet at 3pm to do school pick up, return and continue whilst my kid goes on his game. My company is very big on flexibility and gives good benefits - as such people stay. For years. Decades in some cases. Ability to be partially remote and flexible retains staff and increases health, productivity, so much more. Parents stay. New mums return to work. I know someone who isn’t a parent, no caring responsibilities either, but just chooses to be part time anyway and works four days. If you don’t ask you will never get. Decent companies listen who have the option of such flexibility. Not all industries can. I agree a surgeon can’t just do one mid op. I can. I don’t apologise for having this flexibility to anyone.

 

[judsmum]

How does she propose to help me? I have to rely on a childcare bubble with my mum. I have no choice but to leave my house to go to work, full time, every day. As does my husband. My mum can only do so much with regards to educating him and frankly, I’m appreciative that she even tries to teach him. I can’t work from home and I can’t afford a new laptop that my sons school requested I get for him yesterday as is old knackered one won’t support Microsoft teams properly. Yesterday, I took a phone call at work from school moaning at me for not uploading my sons schoolwork in time. I am drowning in work, I am drowning in guilt and I am drowning in anxiety and quite frankly I wish she would shut the fuck up moaning about being afforded the privilege of being able to be at home with her children. I’d love that opportunity but alas the bills still need paying and I am grateful to have a good job.

 

[J-Dog]

Fucking right she must have been a high functioning depressive. I had PND and it poisoned my thinking to the point I could barely function. I just did the basics - cared for the baby and that’s it. Some days I couldn’t even face unloading the dishwasher.

Let me get this straight also (because I haven’t read her statement myself), she said she had puerperal psychosis but was diagnosed retrospectively? Three years later?

I work in the mental health field and this really confused me. Have never heard of puerperal psychosis being diagnosed retrospectively. PP is treated as a medical emergency as it can be life threatening.

 

[notthefullshilling]

Ohhh it's really desperate to ask people to buy it for the only reason to get it into the bestseller list. And such an empty victory if it does - she'll know it's because she begged her followers rather than the book and its marketing spoke for itself. It's all rather meta isn't it considering what the book is about.

 

[Rosieee]

“Living with postpartum psychosis for 18 months”. That’s just loads of lies right there. I’m no therapist but a psychosis episode is by definition short-term and intense. Just a quick research will tell you that if a psychosis episode last for longer then weeks it can be then something else like schizophrenia. That’s really the nail in the coffin for Grazia. I knew they were shite but between publishing that story that doesn’t hold up to facts and having now Candice as a contributor, a former Pimp this is just too much. You would wonder if the editor is not herself/himself an insta twat who’s just having friends over to write shit.

 

[Dogmuck]

I’d only looked at her stories yesterday didn’t realise she’d actually done a whole film with her ghost writer for gusto.

A couple of things;
1. when did she do this ad as she looks way larger than any of her recent selfies?
2. Amongst the friends fawning about how great gusto is (41 comments and she’s replied to most) was this little gem. Couldn’t have said it better myself...

 

[Heyholetsgo]

I think I thought she was cooler than this and had some credibility, I was wrong

Literally only one that can do no wrong in my eyes is unmumsymum!

 

[Clare]

Coming from someone who has and still is profiting from it that’s rich ! The hypocrisy drives me crazy…

I can’t believe she’s trying to justify influencing as a career choice for women. Women who actually need to work to keep themselves alive do not have time to grow and develop/flog an insta following. A lot of mummy bloggers would already be at home thus have the time. All that’s happened is they’ve been fortunate to have a photogenic home and children and have exploited the current zeitgeist for sharing their entire existence in exchange for money. The promotion of influencers should not be encouraged, they are mercenary money grabbing saleswomen who prey on vulnerable people. They are not cutesy homemakers sharing a few nik naks for summer ice cream pennies.

 

[UndoTyping]

Oh is that the case? I didn’t realise that

absolutely! She was one of the first instamums...the term was based on her and her friends....dress like a mum, mother of daughters etc

Just look back at her Instagram....all gifted items, a multitude of personal details about her kids and the far too many poses against a wall.....and for some bizarre reason, all taken by a professional photographer
She is as guilty as the rest of praying on vulnerable women in the early years of parenting to sell them an unattainable reality.
As you can tell...I dislike her a lot!

 

[Dogmuck]

Her book she claims is ‘dark’ and about the dark underbelly of the internet. Is it about class A drugs and paedophilia on the dark web? Or is it about women not supporting women in This Space. If that’s dark, she doesn’t know she’s born.

Also, isn’t it for the audience rather than the author to decide that it’s a darky humourous masterpiece? Again, an amateur way to sell a book or she thinks her followers are thick. Which she probably does.

Exactly this @Slatternly - Dark! A bunch of women being nasty to each other on the Internet? Move over people traffickers, ethnic cleansers, totalitarians, drug barons, serial killers, war mongers et al we have a new horror to unleash...mean girls. Watch yourselves all, someone is being nasty on the Internet and it will take you to a place of such incredible darkness that you may never see the light No, let’s not worry about perspective here.

And correct again, most authors, in their preamble or pre-sales when they talk about their book they tend to give an over view of what it’s about and say things like “I (or in her case we) tried to achieve A light hearted glimpse into the world of social media whilst addressing some of the more sinister aspects that many experience”. The “darkly humorous” type tags come from newspaper reviews like “The Times dubbed it a darkly humorous debut from Anna and Matt”. Giving it that tag yourself is all levels of twattiness and narcissism.

P.s. sorry you’re not sleeping, hope it’s not because you have stuff to worry about - have you tried a weighted blanket? That’s definitely helped me with my (lack of) sleeping xxx