Mother in law experiences #4

[Mollywobbles]

Mummy son time? Sorry that phrase made my face do this

Don’t worry, the apron strings are well and truly cut. It’s a tongue in cheek thing as named by my mad daughter.

 

[DanDanTheIceCreamMan]

I'm furious about mine at the moment. I often am . She insists on booking weekends away ages (a year) in advance without consulting on whether we want to go, the destination, the proposed activities. It's just, we're going here for X nights, on this date and we're booking it now.

She said last July that she was going to book a weekend away for me and my husband, her and her husband and her husband's son and his partner for the first May bank holiday this year. My husband told her we couldn't commit at that time because two of his friends are getting married this year, and they hadn't yet set the dates. She said she'd hold off until he heard more, then two weeks later it's all well, we've got to book now because all the places are getting booked up. Then she books for an extra night and says we can just finish work early to get there!! I'm a news editor and we work on a shift basis, I can't just say ok, cool, let's just hold off on the news now, need to leave for a hostage situation weekend away.

The place is miles from us, my husband refuses to drive so it gets left to me, or we have to take multiple trains (which we're doing this time). It's got activities that none of us are interested in.

She sends a massive long email about the supermarket shopping - the first time I've been included in any of the comms about the weekend - and gives us a 1 May deadline to add what we need to the list. She then sent a shitty message to my husband on Sunday, 28 April, asking why we've not done the shopping list yet, why he's not confirmed what time we're arriving etc. "You've known about it for months, you should both take half a day off work to spend the whole weekend with us."

She's SO draining, SO demanding and SO controlling. She dominates conversations. Everything has to be a big group activity. We'll have to have a Skype conversation with her family in Australia while we're there, nine people plus a two year old on the line.

I've been very clear about my boundaries - I don't want things booked months in advance, and anything that is booked needs to be discussed, I don't want to be dictated to about where we're going and when - but they're repeatedly trampled on. Had a big blow up with my husband about it yesterday, I'm just dreading the weekend.

What would happen if you declined? not this weekend (because it would be very awkward to drop out now), but a future one when it's booked as it's no convenient...

 

[Onthehop]

I'm on here again, few years after my first post! My MIL is extremely passive aggregate and jealous.

I had bought my son trainers a few weeks ago, quite expensive ones .. she trots into our home (unannounced, doesn't knock just straight through the door) sees son's traines on the floor and goes to my two year old..

'Ooh ... you've got nice trainers, nanny likes these trainers but she can't afford them, they're very expensive, mummy and daddy must have lots of money'
Then proceeds to say to her son, my partner ... 'you can buy me a pair for mother's day if you buy them for your toddler'

Safe to say i made it clear i bought them, not that it makes any difference. Could honestly go on, grinds my gears!!!!

Mental health issues here for sure.

 

[Darlingbaby]

I'm on here again, few years after my first post! My MIL is extremely passive aggregate and jealous.

I had bought my son trainers a few weeks ago, quite expensive ones .. she trots into our home (unannounced, doesn't knock just straight through the door) sees son's traines on the floor and goes to my two year old..

'Ooh ... you've got nice trainers, nanny likes these trainers but she can't afford them, they're very expensive, mummy and daddy must have lots of money'
Then proceeds to say to her son, my partner ... 'you can buy me a pair for mother's day if you buy them for your toddler'

Safe to say i made it clear i bought them, not that it makes any difference. Could honestly go on, grinds my gears!!!!

Also just to add, they were kids sambas.. not high end designer or anything lol

 

[CrazyGiraffeLady]

Is it normal to absolutely hate your MIL but be sad that it's come to this? Iv posted on here a few times about my MIL.
But there are times I just get so sad about the situation. I suppose hence why I tried so many times to make amends and sort it out with her. I know if she had really wanted to then she would have wanted to sort it out and so I do accept that the relationship is now irreparable. But I dunno, it makes me so sad for my son and my husband.
I think it does say alot when my husband makes no effort with her now. I think I miss my relationship with her prior to having kids. I swear alot of MILs seems to go crazy when becoming a grandmother, like a switch is flicked and it automatically becomes 'war'to them. Weird.
Just wondering if anyone else gets sad about their situation with MIL whilst having a huge dislike to them, I suppose like a 'if only feeling.

I kind of do, before we got married we were included in things. We did Christmas’s there, Sunday dinners, birthdays and now it’s like we don’t even exist. Kind of sad really.

 

[NoHintOfDrama]

Carry on!

 

[Lucyxxxx]

Well my "mother in law" shall use quotations marks as she isn't any sort of mother to my partner, and today in the middle of morrisons she punched me in the nose. There's a massive backstory but she hates me just for dating her son who she gave up for adoption and then rejected him as an adult.

What a head case!!!! Not even sure what to advice.

 

[Rita Chevrolet]

My Mil is the devil incarnate and textbook definition of a narcissist. She physically and mentally abused my husband when he was a child and if that’s not bad enough she never went to his school to report him being bullied and instead started to call him the names that the bullies called him at school 🥲 he left at 17 and joined military as if he didn’t he would’ve gone down a very wrong path. He has done so well for himself after leaving school with nothing, not once has she congratulated him. Even now she refuses to admit any wrongdoing and says he is over-reacting and needs to get over it! This has massively affected his entire life and for that I totally despise her. He has delayed PTSD which started 5 years ago once she came back to the uk from Spain and she deliberately goads him and just talks about herself constantly. She love bombs him and her grandsons only if we invite her to ours as she never makes any effort or goes out her way to do anything for us. If we didn’t invite her every weekend she would get the hunp and say he was abandoning her and she can’t do anything herself apparently!

She’s 73 and apparently a guy in his thirties is after her totally deluded to fuck. She has never bought a house in uk when she came back from Spain as she’s holding out for a lottery win to get the house she feels she deserves She claims to us she counts all her pennies but looks down her nose at absolutely everyone with her misplaced snobbery and I can’t stand people that think they are better than others.
She is very jealous of what we have but we’ve worked bloody hard for it. She hates me and constantly brings up stories about my husbands first wife even though apparently she never liked her,
She constantly nit picks at my husband and I for words we may not use correctly and apparently because I’m from Scotland I don’t use correct terms in some sentences FML!!! Anyway husband has now seen the damage she caused him clearly and has stopped speaking to her after their last argument when she stormed out our house.

Bloody hell, if my MiL's were not both dead I'd say you had one of them!!
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It's something that I've learned to accept now. It's just unfortunate we had to bump into her. It's my partner I worry about, as long as she stays away from us I couldn't care.

Well this was actually an ex-FiL. It turned out that for three years before his lovely wife died he'd been doinking the woman who was caring for his MiL, so of course when the old dragon died he went straight off with his bit-on-the-side, for which, needless to say, my ex and his siblings were outraged and horrified at what he'd been up to behind their lovely mother's back. The funniest bit of all was that ex and his hideous "wife" were shopping in Tescos when lo-and-behold dear ol' Daddy emerged from the next aisle going the wrong way and bashed straight into them with his trolley, he took one look at them and literally abandoned his shopping and legged it out of Tescos at great speed! Him and his old bird moved house shortly after so it was not going to happen again but did I laugh my head off when my kids told me

 

[LouBug19]

What a head case!!!! Not even sure what to advice.

It's something that I've learned to accept now. It's just unfortunate we had to bump into her. It's my partner I worry about, as long as she stays away from us I couldn't care.