MOD & FOD #7 When my grid gets full of #pressdiscount plugs, it’s time to whip out my saintly scrubs!

[Dillydilly]

As Anneli Hart (One Roof Social) wrote on her Instastories yesterday - let’s consider the bias of the person who wrote that article and let’s remember bigger isn’t also better.

I’d say MOD and FOD would do well to realise that the word Influencer translates into ‘I get paid to flog goods to others’. It’s nothing great or special to be an Influencer. They are simply influencing others to buy things that they probably don’t need and sadly in lots of cases, can’t really afford.

The smugness of her in today’s post, there must have been lots of self congratulating in their house yesterday.

 

[GreyWolf]

She works as a full time influencer. The podcast was the odd interview over months. The bulk of her time is answering emails from brands, setting up collaborations, researching how to avoid declaring all her freebies, Pinterest looking at fringes and bad decor, brand events, networking as an influencer and attending concerts etc, therefore being visible as a ‘famous’ influencer, and being Very Important.
So yeah basically she’s choosing to not prioritise family when she’s in a very privileged position to do so.

 

[judsmum]

‘This cardigan is made with something called ‘stay soft’ which means that it ‘stays soft’.

No shit Sherlock of the clothing world. Who’d have thought it.

 

[judsmum]

Her post is such bollocks. ‘A brand I go to...’ The brown coat that she claims to love; ‘her favourite piece’!

This is another one of my 70 million annoyances of that MOD and the rest of her instabums commit. Who says ‘brand I go to’? D’ya mean ‘one of the shops I buy (lol sorry get send stuff from) things from’? No one says ‘brand’. Also, only people with a stick shoved so far up their arses say something is a ‘piece’. It’s a coat cocker, not a piece. You’re not wearing a jigsaw, so call it what it is - a coat.

While I’m moaning, it’s the same as when she calls something an ‘investment’ (usually followed by the word ‘piece’).... it’s not an investment because I would bet my left fanny flap that half the things she calls an investment piece will have been listed on her ‘clemmie sells her shit’ page on Instagram.

 

[judsmum]

I really hope the sainted one has read this. Such an honest account of real life for real people and yet she whinges and whines and holds her hand out petulantly for the next freebie. There's not much of her gilded cage I envy, certainly not the ostentatious need for her ridiculous trappings of success; I mean, really, a dressing room, but just occasionally it would be nice to see her stop complaining, stop pretending life is tough and show even the smallest amount of gratitude for this crazy world which has brought such ridiculous wealth to someone as a reward for shilling her kids, milking her employer's name and guilt sales. If I am honest, I don't know whether I am pleased or saddened that none of it makes her happy.

If she does read it, which she will then rest assured that she will not give a single fuck.

Clemmie has a clear demographic that she is marketing to. White (yes white women Clemmie despite your ‘friendship’ with the equally obnoxious SMS) rich, middle-class women with time on their hands and money in their pockets. Struggling families (ie the majority of the country) are not part of her plan.

The trouble is and where I find her toxic is the fact that she fails to declare so many things that she is gifted and so young women, not in the area of society that Clemmie is aiming her bullshit at, look up to her, want what she has and see all that she has as something to aspire to. That’s where issues with debt and mental health develop and she knows that. That’s the key. She knows that and still she fails to declare.

There is nothing wrong with being middle-class or well off and there is nothing wrong with marketing your business at that particular demographic - hell in fairness I probably fall somewhere into that demographic myself, but the issue is not clarifying that, not being transparent and being so very fucking smug about it.

I’ve had one dealing with Clemmie and she definitely came across as though we are mere plebs and she is the one we all aspire to be without having a clue about me being a lot more experienced in that particular topic than what she was! It did make me smirk at the time!

 

[Madbadsad]

I think their life looks exhausting. Like they make it harder for themselves? All those trips away with kids (even with secret nannies to help!) Renovating’ a perfectly good house. Her commuting all the way to London when she could just work at the local maternity unit...

I don’t find any of it aspirational. They may have material wealth but they don’t seem very happy.

 

[Exhaustednurse]

DLAM (who is the most vapid, non disclosing instamum) is at mark warner too. She’s tagging it but never ever declares and paid partnerships or ADs

Assume that this is gifted / press discount bollocks for the Hoopers too.

There’ll be a ‘can’t believe we are at the same resort’ post in a day or two with both of them wearing matching hairbands and mooncups

 

[judsmum]

If she’s been flooded with it then he’s got an issue with his testes that needs addressing.

I work in an office with 42 men under me (titter titter), construction workers and I’m the only woman here. We can and often do have filthy conversations that we find extremely funny. They’re funny because they’re not thought out and often just come out in random conversation. What she said was thought out and planned in its vulgarity to be hilarious and it’s the planned’ness’ of the vulgarity that makes it extremely unfunny. But then I think the Scummy Mummies are about as funny as waking up with the shits.

 

[CyanideKiss]

Just shown this to a colleague (who uses photo shop for a living) and he confirms it has been doctored. He says it's a really rubbish job and then hit me with lots of jargon about 'relative proportionality' or some such gubbins, at which point I pretended I needed the loo.

But, hey yeah, let's hear it for body confidence - but only if you're white, middle class and a (photo shopped) size 8/10, right?

 

[CyanideKiss]

Oh dear Lord, Gimmie! IV antibiotics for a little cut? Seriously? I'm not medically qualified in anyway, but even I know this is highly unlikely.

This must be your clumsiest attempt yet to crowbar the fact you're a MIDWIFE into any random post.

#neveroffduty

Er, I'm hard pressed to recall when Gimmie HAS been on duty this summer??? What with all the #grifted festivals, #grifted holidays, #grifted weekend breaks etc.

 

[Justlookingtoday]

Long time lurker but this warranted a post.
Holy hell.

 

[ExhaustedDad]

Blimey nice extra 100k followers from a week ago

#gifted

 

[non binary coat]

There is so much that is embarrassing about the M&S video but Clemmie she would pair the skirt with a 'chunky knit' by reaching for a thin, short sleeve cashmere jumper is hilarious. Anyone with an ounce of integrity would say to the team, 'hang on this isn't a chunky knit, can we change the line?'. But not our Clemmie, she'll do anything for the cash.

I gave up trying to find it last week as couldnt see it on m and s fashion pr, oh my I'm glad I found it today. HILARIOUS.

They look to have had a big team there and that was the best they could do! Grabbing the short thin jumper as a chunky knit is better than when she explained that say soft ment a jumper stayed soft...

M&S on Instagram: "Watch @mother_of_daughters reveal her top picks from our new autumn collection #dressingthenation"

3,000 likes, 120 comments - marksandspencerSeptember 20, 2019 on : "Watch @mother_of_daughters reveal her top picks from our new autumn collection #dressingthenation".

www.instagram.com

Expectation:

Reality:

Holly can barely pull it off sat down and leaning forwards

 

[skronkywildcat]

In 20 years time when half the planet is uninhabitable thanks to climate change, and the rest of us are fighting it out Mad Max style, I'm sure their kids will look up to them and thank them for advocating mindless over-consumption and loads of air travel. DLAM's post about no spend September made me laugh (hollowly).

 

[rainbowlemon]

I'm just reminded of watching the documentary: Portrait of a paedophile on youtube about Richard Huckle. When he was posting and swapping pictures with other creeps- he wrote "I hope you have enjoyed watching her grow" ."It's not often you can compare the bodies of a 5 year old and a 12 year old". ( That doc was filmed in 2016- so it's not so rare now).

But I guess all the green tiles, pink tiles, gifted vega shoes,supergauk shoes, boden clothing, jeans,hunter boots, moccasin slipper socks, my little pony toys, grill, paint,wallpaper,sofas,, prints, washing machines, wooden flooring, car, pajamas, camp bestivle tickets and more are worth 1 million + people being able to recognize your children (but also your full address, their schools, middle names, birthdays and when they last wet themselves).

 

[faceface]

Things that happened over the years while MY husband was away travelling: broken dishwasher, broken waterheater (three times), different warning lights all of a sudden flashing in the car, sometimes the minute after I dropped him off with said car at the airport, blown fuses and on one occasion the whole fusebox, mad dashes with either kid to A&E (think high fevers coupled with severe dehydration, gash above the eye due to falling off staircase while scraping the face along the wall, broken collarbone etc etc), many MANY light bulbs giving up on me and my poor lamps, Playstation malfunctions (that is usually when hell breaks loose because bloody kids can not live without their Playstation obvs), runaway cats, malfunctioning garage door, oven giving out, teenage crises involving very late night trips to other people's houses picking up said teenagers and sooooo much more.

Have no idea how I managed, especially since I also do not have a nanny or cleaner, but am sure any of the following strategies did the trick:

1 fix it myself;
2 when no idea how to fix it myself I Googled it then fixed it myself;
3 when in doubt phoned husband to ask for advice or proper instructions (which he was always happy to give) and then fixed it myself;
4 if it turned out it was actually something I could not fix myself I phoned a professional, phone numbers happily provided by husband;
5 if it was something not of importance, could not be fixed by myself but too ridiculous to have a professional do it....like a light bulb change at some height.......WAIT FOR HUSBAND TO RETURN AND LET HIM DO IT!

Hardly rocket science but what do I know, I am not an influencer.

 

[Pommes]

“Will she be needing ivabs?”

“No she’ll be needing Savlon”

Do you mean ivsav?

 

[motherofdonkeys]

On stories Gimmie is saying that a bulb as gone in her light fitting and - this only happens when knob is away out the country - chill mod its one bulb out of a 6 bulb light fitting

Can she not change a light bulb herself?, it's not rocket science.

How many midwives does it take to change a lightbulb? Answer - 2, one to just get on with the job, and Clemmie to put her scrubs on, post a couple of stories, and whinge about it.

 

[OhhBacon]

They ALL have the same interiors, it’s pathetic. By *all I mean all the boring Instagram copy cats. they think they’re so original and creative and clever!!!!

Did anyone see Lisa Dawson’s story, she is a designer and was talking at some London design thing.
She said the problem with instagram is that everyone has the same bland generic deign ideas, it is all so identical. I couldn’t agree more.

 

[GreyWolf]

It’s an endless cycle of bollocks

Body positivity- twins-wallpaper-midwife-sofa-holiday-buy shit I advertise-empower women-me time-party planners-twins- midwifery-paint-buy my shit-tiles-holiday-me time-couple time-body positivity