So I’ve been in A&E tonight with pain from possible gallstones. I’m being kept in overnight for an ultrasound in the morning. My period was due 3 days ago but never came, I put this down to it being a bit irregular as I have a 4 month old daughter. Anyway they told me they won’t do a CT that’s why I need the ultrasound in the morning because my hcg in my blood is 20. They said normal is 5-15 above that would indicate a pregnancy but apparently 20 is still too low to even be shown in a urine pregnancy test. I’m now really worried about this, because like I said, I have a 4 month old. I am not ready for another baby yet, and we were using condoms, but admittedly had ONE time without, I know it only takes one time, but seriously?! I just don’t know what to do, I hate the thought of aborting a baby but have no idea how I’d cope with pregnancy again right now as I get awful hyperemesis and how we’d cope with a 1 year old and a newborn. Posting here as nobody knows who I actually am and I don’t want anybody I actually know knowing this at the minute anyway. My partner knows and he’s worrying too. Any advice? Anybody have a baby literally a year apart from each other? Anybody had an abortion after already having a baby and not hated themselves for it? Will this ruin our relationship if we have an abortion? Arrrrrrrgggghh I have no idea what to do. Also annoyingly now means I can’t have any decent pain killers.
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Ah lovely lady, feel for you xx
I had twins at 19, sooo young, and I remember the overwhelming feeling that I'd never cope. My husband and his brother were only 13 months apart, and my mother in law gave me some great advice and some great stories from their childhood. They're so close (not just in age but because they're almost twins). She said she never regretted having them so close as was still within the baby stage when the second came along. Then growing up they liked the same things etc due to being in the same age group.
Only you'll know what will work best for you
so talk it through with your partner.
My twins are teenagers now, and 6 months ago I was in America reading a paper at a university seminar, and was so sick and tired. I put it down to jet lag (I live in Australia now so huge time difference for me), but even when I returned home, I was still so sick and sleepy. I didn't even realise for two months since returning from the US that I hadn't had my period! Duh! I'd been so busy teaching and moving house....or sleeping! Anyhow, I ended up doing a pregnancy test and.....well.... My youngest is now 10, twins are 14, and in January I'll be starting all over again
just when I thought I'd got my life back
I'm now extremely excited, but I wanted to share my story just so you don't feel alone, because I know what the initial horror and shock feels like.
Whatever you decide, I really wish you well and send so much love. Babies are a blessing but at the same time, they're so much hard work aren't they
I had twins at 19, sooo young, and I remember the overwhelming feeling that I'd never cope. My husband and his brother were only 13 months apart, and my mother in law gave me some great advice and some great stories from their childhood. They're so close (not just in age but because they're almost twins). She said she never regretted having them so close as was still within the baby stage when the second came along. Then growing up they liked the same things etc due to being in the same age group.
Only you'll know what will work best for you
so talk it through with your partner. My twins are teenagers now, and 6 months ago I was in America reading a paper at a university seminar, and was so sick and tired. I put it down to jet lag (I live in Australia now so huge time difference for me), but even when I returned home, I was still so sick and sleepy. I didn't even realise for two months since returning from the US that I hadn't had my period! Duh! I'd been so busy teaching and moving house....or sleeping! Anyhow, I ended up doing a pregnancy test and.....well.... My youngest is now 10, twins are 14, and in January I'll be starting all over again
just when I thought I'd got my life back I'm now extremely excited, but I wanted to share my story just so you don't feel alone, because I know what the initial horror and shock feels like.
Whatever you decide, I really wish you well and send so much love. Babies are a blessing but at the same time, they're so much hard work aren't they
When my twins were 14 months old we found out we were pregnant again and it definitely hadn’t been on the cards, so we’ve got 3 under two and although not the same as a 1 year old and a newborn, it is hard work and I hate to throw around the age old saying but you find a way to cope.
A termination was never really in the cards for us, but that being said, if you feel it would be the beat option for you and your family there should be no reason you should hate yourself or it should ruin you relationship.
A termination was never really in the cards for us, but that being said, if you feel it would be the beat option for you and your family there should be no reason you should hate yourself or it should ruin you relationship.
My little girl is 7 weeks old and asleep next to me now in her Moses basket. My 14 month old is next to the bed in his cot! Baby girl was born 2 weeks after my sons first birthday. I also have a 4 year old. My husband works away Mon-Fri and we have no family support, if I can do it anyone can! It was a massive shock at first... I was exclusively breastfeeding, no period etc and we had sex one time. I cried a fair bit but I wouldn’t change it now. It is very tough, however I’m sure once we get through this first year things will get a lot easier and they will be best friends.
I saw you said on another thread it was gallstones so I'm confused 
Gallstone pain is the reason I came into hospital in the first place and the reason I’m staying in. I have no idea why they checked my bloods for pregnancy.... but, they did. So that’s just something they found on the back of this.I saw you said on another thread it was gallstones so I'm confused
Although that being said, it’s a “possible pregnancy” apparently normal levels are below 15 (non pregnant). And normal pregnancy levels even early on are at least 25. So apparently I’m in a grey area whatever that means? In all honesty I’m still hoping it means I’m not pregnant and just still have the hormone a slight bit raised from my 4 month old but not sure how likely that is.
If you do turn out to be pregnant then it will be very very early on so you have some time to think about what you want to do. If you are not physically, emotionally or financially ready for a second child then that’s ok, you don’t have anything to feel guilty for. Sometimes things just happen and you have to do things that perhaps you wouldn’t ever want to do, with the best of intentions.
Wait until you know for sure if you are pregnant or not. Then take some time to discuss it with your partner. If the timing isn’t right for another baby then that’s ok.
Good luck xx
Wait until you know for sure if you are pregnant or not. Then take some time to discuss it with your partner. If the timing isn’t right for another baby then that’s ok.
Good luck xx
I found out I was pregnant when my daughter was 9 months old actually sobbed my heart out I was so shocked but went ahead with the pregnancy. There was 17 months in between which is hard as they’re both in nappies have bottles etc but in all honesty it’s the best thing I ever did! They’re now 9 and 8 and really close. I always said I would wait till my daughter was around 3 to have another 1 but glad I didn’t it was great doing the baby stages at the same time instead of going back to it after so many years xx
Aww, yes we planned to have a 3-4 year age gap. Worrying about paying nursery etc for 2 kids too, but I suppose you just find a way to make it work when it happens.
Thank you all for your lovely and non judgemental replies xx
No reason for anyone to judge you! Life happens and sometimes it happens at the wrong time. It doesn’t make you a bad person for questioning the impact a baby would have on you and your family, get yourself out of hospital and out of pain (hopefully) and then make a decision as a couple as to what you want to do. You absolutely will make it work if you do find yourself with two babies
but you have options and choices and you will do whatever if best for you all.And if you’re not pregnant then you’ll be doubling up those condoms right
That is not an appropriate response. You cannot pass judgement on someone else’s life. Sometimes a termination is the answer as difficult as that decision is.
Abortion is often the most appropriate answer to a difficult or not-so-difficult question
I think anyone who comes onto a forum and passes judgement on a user looking for support or reassurance needs to take themselves right back off again.
Hope the ultrasound went well. FWIW, baby no 2 was born when our first was 17mths old. He’d just started walking, was still in nappies and I had to have a c-section with no2. Not going to lie, it’s hard at first, but it gets easier.
We had a nearly 4 year gap before no3 arrived, followed by no 4 less than 22mths later x
We had a nearly 4 year gap before no3 arrived, followed by no 4 less than 22mths later x
Well they didn’t even do the ultrasound in the end, instead they’ve just booked me on the surgery list for my gallbladder to be removed. Also I need to have a blood test in a week to check my hcg levels then and see what they’re doing etc before we can confirm if it’s definitely a pregnancy. X
Good luck to you whatever the outcome and whatever you decide!
FWIW I wanted to have a second baby soon after my first as I’m a twin so wanted my baby to have a sibling of a similar age. She has an older half brother but there’s 13 years between them so it’s not the same. As it is she’ll have a younger brother when she’s 14 months and whilst it was sooner than I had expected I don’t see it as a bad decision at all.
However, only you and your partner know what’s right for you. If you have reservations then talk about them together. I don’t necessarily think that anyone can be naive to think that going through with a pregnancy is the right decision for everyone at all times and the fact that you have made the post suggests you have your doubts so if you’re looking for reassurance then if it’s the right choice for you then it’s the right decision end of. I chose to abort when I was 19 because I was not ready to have a baby (although I’m sure I wouldn’t have struggled if I hadn’t).
Obviously you’re still in a new mum haze and the shock will possibly mask how you truly feel about the situation. But just know that you will make the right decision.
FWIW I wanted to have a second baby soon after my first as I’m a twin so wanted my baby to have a sibling of a similar age. She has an older half brother but there’s 13 years between them so it’s not the same. As it is she’ll have a younger brother when she’s 14 months and whilst it was sooner than I had expected I don’t see it as a bad decision at all.
However, only you and your partner know what’s right for you. If you have reservations then talk about them together. I don’t necessarily think that anyone can be naive to think that going through with a pregnancy is the right decision for everyone at all times and the fact that you have made the post suggests you have your doubts so if you’re looking for reassurance then if it’s the right choice for you then it’s the right decision end of. I chose to abort when I was 19 because I was not ready to have a baby (although I’m sure I wouldn’t have struggled if I hadn’t).
Obviously you’re still in a new mum haze and the shock will possibly mask how you truly feel about the situation. But just know that you will make the right decision.
My two are 12 months and 12 days apart.
It was a massive shock and hard bloody work at times but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Good luck with whatever you decided to do and also feel free to DM me if you want to chat x
It was a massive shock and hard bloody work at times but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Good luck with whatever you decided to do and also feel free to DM me if you want to chat x
So sorry for you. Gallstones pain is horrendous and hyperemesis is hell so no judgement from me. Here for you 
editing to add that I had two a year apart because I wanted one more child and because I get hyperemesis i wanted to get the pregnancy out of the way. I know that sounds weird!
editing to add that I had two a year apart because I wanted one more child and because I get hyperemesis i wanted to get the pregnancy out of the way. I know that sounds weird!
Thanks everyone. Still getting pain from the gallstones but trying to avoid pain killers as much as possible. I’ve decided I’d like to keep the baby. But it depends what the blood tests say on Friday, if the pregnancy is viable or not. So I’m trying my best not to get too excited until we’ve had those results which will prob be sometime next week.