I have to second what others have said about getting yourself therapy of some kind.Hi everyone. This is such a hard and personal topic that is soooo not spoken about enough.
I’ve been with my husband for 8 years. After 6 months he appeared to have ED, which I then found out was because of porn.
I said to him I really don’t want that in my life or relationship, please stop.
I thought he had stopped until after we had our first child and he turned up at the hospital after nipping out to get a few bits as I’d had a section. He brought me my iPad and it was on private browser mode. I had used it 24 hours previous and knew I’d never put it on that mode so it was obviously.
Very long story short but it has plagued our relationship:
- searched through people on Facebook to find pictures of girls he liked for porn ( still don’t get this one)
- using YouTube such as videos people are taking of girls walking around on nights out
- using instagram, YouTube and Reddit for porn
- in the first year of our relationship he downloaded an anonymous sex chat app but still can’t explain to me why
- no signs of him messaging other women but he did deactivate Snapchat and said he had used that for porn and deleted it to remove the temptation as he was trying to get better
- he has even used depop for porn (I’m not joking)
I threatened to leave him in march last year. He promised to recover. Discovered more again in July. Promised to recover…discovered again in February.
I feel awful, I do love him so much but I have lost all of my self esteem. He has been quite manipulative at times and quite mean in the past. He is getting better but I just find I’m struggling to cope with my life. We have two young children. Really just don’t know what to do. Sometimes I just wish I didn’t care others and wonder how other women would see this situation. I don’t really have anyone to talk to!
I was in the same situation (although I was young) I left him 12 years ago and it is something that has affected me since in every relationship and still does, although not as much. So I would highly recommend finding some support/therapy for yourself!