Men are trash

[under the ivy]

I think people are adult enough to know there’s obviously decent men (and women) out there but you can’t blame people for having poor experiences and it completely ruining their trust and mindset.

 

[under the ivy]

I’m yet to find a decent man so in my opinion men are the absolute worse. My ex was a gaslighting, arrogant prick who made me lose my identity during the 4 years we were together. I missed him terribly when he dumped but in the last year, I’ve really grown in my confidence. I love being single even if some days I feel lonely. But the thought of being near a man repulses me and I just can’t see being with someone for a very very long time!

I know it’s hard and I’m sorry for my bluntness but don’t waste your time, energy or tears on a man who isn’t thinking about you. Men are like mascara, they usually run at the first sign of emotion. So don’t waste your time on them!

 

[Hope96]

Trying to pluck up the courage to message my ex today to come to some sort of arrangement to get the rest of my things but that'll probably be a task in itself. He said he would get back to me in a couple of weeks about us meeting for a drink and chat but that's passed. I don't think it's going to happen anytime soon sadly even though I feel like I need some sort of closure. I feel exhausted by it all and feel really stupid waiting around like an idiot. I've just spent most of my lunch break crying in the bathroom because I just feel so empty yet so full of pain at the same time. 6 weeks since the break up and nearly 2 months of not seeing each other I'm still struggling at work and looking after myself. I feel really useless!

Thank you for reading my post I'm not usually so miserable. Hope everyone is ok. xx

 

[justapossum]

Sometimes I look back at how men have treated me in the past, and how I let them - and I want to punch myself in the face. But then I realise that the experience was already painful enough

 

[Clementine]

Here to trash talk men and not be judged for it.

 

[DeathToCovid]

I don't think it's petty or childish I've pretty much hidden every single card and gift my ex bought for me because it's too painful to look at them at BUT I don't have it in me to get rid of them just yet.

I think we all deal with heartbreak in the way we can, I guess we’re still in survival mode

You guys, I wish this was a real life support group where we could drink wine and be nice to each other

Everyone says that time makes things better but how much time can getting over a man possibly take?! I’m going on 10 months and I still have days where I feel physically sick thinking about what happened and how he treated me. I can’t imagine being able to trust anyone again.

I’m so sorry you’re still feeling this way, I feel very similar to you in that I will never ever allow myself to be in a situation where I trust a man completely ever again, and by trust I mean trusting that they won’t leave/hurt me in some way, which rules out any and all relationships. I’m no longer strong enough for it.

I’m 36 now and I’m soooo done with relationships, I’ve never said that before, I’ve always wanted the fairytale and held the belief there is someone out there for me, but I no longer believe it, I’ve had every inch of that belief smashed up into little pieces. I guess now it’s rebuilding a totally different life than the one I wanted, and I have no idea where to start - that’s the scary part.

and to everyone

 

[uglybettybetty]

Just got off the phone to my partner in tears. We’re going Cornwall in the next few weeks and I’m a plus sized gal, quite insecure about my body, never really worn a bikini. I’ve never learnt how to swim, which I know is not ideal considering I’m nearly 30! But it’s something I’ve always been afraid to do. When I go into the water I always panic. The water has always terrified me tbh. I’m a more feet on land type of gal. I like walking and hiking and seeing pretty places. Maybe my idea of fun seems boring but that’s just what I like! My partner is the opposite of me, he likes doing daring things. He likes going on jet skis and doing skydiving. Anyway, he just shouted down at me on the phone saying how it’s annoying how I feel so insecure to wear a bikini, how I can’t swim and can’t do fun things with him like jumping off cliffs or jet skis. It just made me feel so..... shit and I’ve been in a flood of tears. Hes saying I should want to do those things but I just... don’t? I’m already feeling quite worried about the trip because I feel like he’s going to try force me to do things and when I won’t he’ll act moody with me leading to an argument. He’s rang me back after we ended the call which is how I know he knows he’s upset me, but I just don’t want to answer. I hate how he’s made me feel this way. It’s like as if I’m going to make the trip boring for him by not wanting to do those things? When really I’m not stopping him doing them, but they’re just not my thing especially because I can’t fucking swim. I just feel so sad and I don’t know why he can’t just have some understanding instead of making me feel like I’m a disappointment

 

[Pink blancmange]

In a situation now where I'm being treated like an absolute doormat, hoping he's going to feel for me, what I do for him. Which I know is ridiculous. I saw a quote the other day which said 'you can't make someone love you by giving them more of what they already don't appreciate.' Yet here I am, being walked over, again and again because love .

 

[Begborrowsteal]

100% they're trash. The bar is so low for them.

 

[House of Tea]

@isabellalovescats Why rush into finding someone new? Build yourself up first. You are in a vulnerable state, men can smell vulnerability and reel you into damaging relationships. Just because your ex has a relationship, you don’t have to. If you do meet somebody decent now you will just shortchange them, your mind is going to be elsewhere. Rebound relationships don’t work. It seems like you are seeking validation from being with somebody to prove your worth. You don’t need to prove anything. You need time away from dating to regroup.

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

Food for misandry: https://www.instagram.com/sheratesdogs/

I’ve not seen this account before

 

[Bellaboo83]

So sorry to everyone struggling right now, I broke up with my boyfriend this morning, we had things we just couldn’t get through, whilst not a bad guy I can’t help but need to vent. I feel so sad right now and I’m at that stage where I’m gutted and having those - I’ll never find someone else I’m too fat ugly and mad kind of thoughts, and the he will find someone so much better than me etc etc missing all the nice stuff. Usual I guess. Fucking painful

Bless you, I'm in the same situ. I ended it because it was toxic and he could never meet my needs, we've tried repeatedly for the last 10 years and it always ends up the same.

The first 3 weeks after were a breeze then I've suddenly been hit by it like a bus these last few days and I'm regretting it, I feel panicked, I miss him, I'm crying most of the day, I've got that re-run of all the good bits playing on repeat in my head. I'm torturing myself with images of him with someone else. And I'm terrified no one will ever love me and I'll be alone while he moves on and is happy

It's absolutely killing me but there is no way back. Know you're not alone

 

[BelleAmie]

You guys, I wish this was a real life support group where we could drink wine and be nice to each other

Everyone says that time makes things better but how much time can getting over a man possibly take?! I’m going on 10 months and I still have days where I feel physically sick thinking about what happened and how he treated me. I can’t imagine being able to trust anyone again.

 

[justapossum]

I think people are adult enough to know there’s obviously decent men (and women) out there but you can’t blame people for having poor experiences and it completely ruining their trust and mindset.

If you constantly get bitten by every dog that you pet, you're eventually going to start disliking dogs

 

[House of Tea]

So sorry to everyone struggling right now, I broke up with my boyfriend this morning, we had things we just couldn’t get through, whilst not a bad guy I can’t help but need to vent. I feel so sad right now and I’m at that stage where I’m gutted and having those - I’ll never find someone else I’m too fat ugly and mad kind of thoughts, and the he will find someone so much better than me etc etc missing all the nice stuff. Usual I guess. Fucking painful

Probably doesn’t help now for you and @Hope96 - but that saying that all things pass is true. The sadness will pass, life carries on, good things will happen to you. In a few years time you will be hard pressed to remember their features in any great detail. As I say, doesn’t help you now, you are still grieving, but it will get better. And remember you are enough, so no more trash talking yourself and doing yourself down. Onwards

 

[watermelon sugar]

Haha why did he say that?

We were arguing over the phone once after we had split up. It had been a year. I can't even remember why we were speaking over the phone but he said 'your 2 favourite bands are Oasis and Abba, you fucking basic bitch'

 

[isabellalovescats]

Good for you! I hope they’re Krispy Kremes…

I tried these churro donuts from a neighborhood chocolate shop. They are delicious!

 

[hypoharpy]

Men on the whole are not trash, but they are over rated. I don’t think you should base your life around getting and keeping a man. They should be an amuse-bouche, not the main course. As you get older you know what adds value to your life, and what doesn’t, and men fall into the latter category. (Disclaimer - I am married but if I wasn’t I would not be searching for a replacement. My OH is ok, but to be frank, I can take him or leave him, he is not the centre of my world anymore.) Once the need for validation from men goes, you feel free and all their nonsense just seems like time wasting. You get one life, why waste is stressing about some Neanderthal. I do feel sorry for younger women these days. They have a lot more shit to content with than when I was younger. At least when I was young, there was the pretence of romance, which seems to have gone out the window since swipe right or left came in.

I feel exactly the same. My OH is pleasant and I can deal with his bullshit. At this stage in my life it's good enough. We are brought up on fairytales in books and on the screen and it's a big lie really. I feel very sorry for the young girls because they've got social media and porn to contend with. Our society only flourishes if women think they need a man to be complete.We are going through a period of backlash against women but generally that comes before a positive change. I hope it does.

 

[Herefortheteeeee]

Looking back now though, I do realise that I must have had so little respect for myself. When I got with my current partner 6 years ago, I just knew we would be together and I have always trusted him 100%. I don’t know why as I have never felt like that before. I think it really does take having your heart broken that many times to realise that that I can live without you. If we did break up, I would get over you & move on and I think that’s a healthy way to look at a relationship.

 

[House of Tea]

I used to work with men you would call woke nowadays. Guardian reading lefties, so called family guys. But if you overheard the way they referred to women if they thought nobody was around, it was an eye opener. If they were young females, they were bits of meat, and spoken about accordingly. If the women were older just the usual misogynistic name calling. They are somebody’s dad, brother, husband etc too.