Because you know exactly the type I’m talking about.I don’t know why this made me laugh so much
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
You sound like you’ve been burned beforeBecause you know exactly the type I’m talking about.
I just see right through people and most of it isn’t good!You sound like you’ve been burned before
Are they X Ray specs you are wearing there, Prof?
Haha good one!
My ex called me a basic witch once, I'm low key offended
Haha why did he say that?
We were arguing over the phone once after we had split up. It had been a year. I can't even remember why we were speaking over the phone but he said 'your 2 favourite bands are Oasis and Abba, you bleeping basic witch'
Nah that’s not a basic witch. A basic witch thinks they’re extra special and unique and a proper catch, when they’re really not! Up their own a as I said earlier. You don’t strike me as that, unlike some other people!We were arguing over the phone once after we had split up. It had been a year. I can't even remember why we were speaking over the phone but he said 'your 2 favourite bands are Oasis and Abba, you bleeping basic witch'
I would love to know what argument leads to that commentWe were arguing over the phone once after we had split up. It had been a year. I can't even remember why we were speaking over the phone but he said 'your 2 favourite bands are Oasis and Abba, you bleeping basic witch'
If exes start getting petty like that, I just switch off. I mean they wouldn’t be an ex if you actually cared what they thought anyway!I would love to know what argument leads to that comment
Just got off the phone to my partner in tears. We’re going Cornwall in the next few weeks and I’m a plus sized gal, quite insecure about my body, never really worn a bikini. I’ve never learnt how to swim, which I know is not ideal considering I’m nearly 30! But it’s something I’ve always been afraid to do. When I go into the water I always panic. The water has always terrified me tbh. I’m a more feet on land type of gal. I like walking and hiking and seeing pretty places. Maybe my idea of fun seems boring but that’s just what I like! My partner is the opposite of me, he likes doing daring things. He likes going on jet skis and doing skydiving. Anyway, he just shouted down at me on the phone saying how it’s annoying how I feel so insecure to wear a bikini, how I can’t swim and can’t do fun things with him like jumping off cliffs or jet skis. It just made me feel so..... tit and I’ve been in a flood of tears. Hes saying I should want to do those things but I just... don’t? I’m already feeling quite worried about the trip because I feel like he’s going to try force me to do things and when I won’t he’ll act moody with me leading to an argument. He’s rang me back after we ended the call which is how I know he knows he’s upset me, but I just don’t want to answer. I hate how he’s made me feel this way. It’s like as if I’m going to make the trip boring for him by not wanting to do those things? When really I’m not stopping him doing them, but they’re just not my thing especially because I can’t bleeping swim. I just feel so sad and I don’t know why he can’t just have some understanding instead of making me feel like I’m a disappointment
That’s horrible of him and he needs to apologise to you.
Not being comfortable in a bikini is completely normal. I wouldn’t wear one either. Is he trying to make you wear one?
He just rang me and apologised, I just don’t feel like talking to him at all. He’s really pissed me off! I feel like it’s just so unfair to expect someone to do something they don’t want to do! Also no he’s basically trying to tell me that I shouldn’t feel insecure and that I should be confident and wear one, he’s always very uplifting when it comes to my body and always tries to make me feel more confident, but he basically said “you’re putting a downer on the trip by feeling so insecure you can’t even wear a bikini” and it really has upset me. I’ve bought a pair of denim shorts and I was thinking of wearing them with a swimsuit or long bikini top, even denim shorts is something I’m not used to wearing outside. I’m terrified
I know that seems ridiculous but I really amThe crux of the matter is not about bikinis, it’s that you can’t swim and are scared of water! What is wrong with him to not understand that!He just rang me and apologised, I just don’t feel like talking to him at all. He’s really pissed me off! I feel like it’s just so unfair to expect someone to do something they don’t want to do! Also no he’s basically trying to tell me that I shouldn’t feel insecure and that I should be confident and wear one, he’s always very uplifting when it comes to my body and always tries to make me feel more confident, but he basically said “you’re putting a downer on the trip by feeling so insecure you can’t even wear a bikini” and it really has upset me. I’ve bought a pair of denim shorts and I was thinking of wearing them with a swimsuit or long bikini top, even denim shorts is something I’m not used to wearing outside. I’m terrified
OK, look he’s upset you and of course that hurts, but in order to salvage your trip and enjoy it, remind him you’re afraid of the water, it’s not your fault and it is non-negotiable that you won’t be getting in period! Then between you work out what joint things you can do that you both enjoy. All couples have things that they do on their own because the other doesn’t like it. I’m sure there’s things he won’t do too, but it is not your responsibility to do things that you are deeply afraid of in order to satisfy him and you need to tell him so. It’s totally different from doing things you simply don’t enjoy. If he can’t compromise, then you might as well not go.
On another note, maybe at some point you should think about overcoming your fears and learning to swim through lessons (loads of adults can’t swim). Not for your boyfriend, but it may do wonders for you own confidence!
Good luck.
Whatever makes you comfortable is the most important thing. People shouldn’t be expected to show their bodies just cos they’re on a beach. Maybe a sarong or one of those light kaftan dresses would help. One of these for on the beach - http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-laUaIaPDP.../tBN90c8jcKY/s1600/Beach+Kaftan+photo+-+9.jpgHe just rang me and apologised, I just don’t feel like talking to him at all. He’s really pissed me off! I feel like it’s just so unfair to expect someone to do something they don’t want to do! Also no he’s basically trying to tell me that I shouldn’t feel insecure and that I should be confident and wear one, he’s always very uplifting when it comes to my body and always tries to make me feel more confident, but he basically said “you’re putting a downer on the trip by feeling so insecure you can’t even wear a bikini” and it really has upset me. I’ve bought a pair of denim shorts and I was thinking of wearing them with a swimsuit or long bikini top, even denim shorts is something I’m not used to wearing outside. I’m terrified
So my birthday is coming up (so is my ex’s because surprise, we have the same birthday) and I’m all types of annoyed that I’ll most likely be celebrating it by myself. I’ve always loved my birthday. It’s my absolute favorite day of the year. He told me he couldn’t wait to spend the summer together with me etc. and we had all these summer plans, and our birthday is one of them. I even had plans in my head from which cake to bake to what I was going to buy him as a birthday present and what song we are going to dance to when we’d sneak him out to the gazebo next to the water. I got brutally dumped on Mother’s Day. He still has my stuff that I haven’t bothered asking back because he was really cruel and angry when we last talked (texted, coward couldn’t even dump me over a phone call). Anyways, I moved to this town during the pandemic and lockdown was always super strict until very recently, so I was only allowed one contact person and that was him. He’s the only person I socialized with, my only friend and the one I ended up falling in love with. I’m miserable without him now that things are open and we could be doing our summer plans together if we were not broken up. I just can’t bear the thought that I might be alone on my birthday but he won’t be (this is his hometown so he’s got family and friends). Where did all the promises go?
Can you go to your own hometown for your birthday?
The borders are closed. I’m abroad.
I concur with the title. Most of them really are. I'm not sure where the 'we all have dads and brothers' etc. comes from. Actually plenty don't have any family at all with decent men in it, my dad was one of the worst and my brother got a woman he barely knew pregnant and then took a job working for a bank in Australia just to get away from having to deal with fatherhood! I have male friends but I certainly wouldn't recommend my female friends date any of them, knowing how useless they all are. I've argued with all of them at one time or another and had to challenge their views on stereotypes and being sexist. They are nice guys to have a laugh with after work or to watch the footie with, but a sensible conversation? Not so much.
I gave up my assumption that I'd meet someone and get married about 4 years ago. I'm in my mid thirties. It took me years, two long term relationships - one where he had an accident at work and then, whilst on leave at home 'recovering' managed to find the energy to bag the neighbour whilst I was working paying all the bills and then the next had an entire split personality and turned out to be a narcissist who landed me in therapy after smashing my self esteem into tiny bits. The therapy was amazing, taught me how to have self respect, boundaries and bin anyone that treated me like crap.
What that means is - and what I found out from dating since the therapy - 95% men end up getting binned eventually lol! It's not about 'picking bad ones' or attracting the wrong sort at all. If you're a half decent looking woman, there's a huge amount of men who probably fancy you or would have sex with you. Men aren't that picky (just see that video where one of them's getting on with a mc chicken sandwich). It's about having boundaries and getting rid of the people in your life who you start dating then find out have red flags and aren't very nice to you. Which is hard, and a bit demoralising when you realise quite how many people behave quite poorly.
I gave up my assumption that I'd meet someone and get married about 4 years ago. I'm in my mid thirties. It took me years, two long term relationships - one where he had an accident at work and then, whilst on leave at home 'recovering' managed to find the energy to bag the neighbour whilst I was working paying all the bills and then the next had an entire split personality and turned out to be a narcissist who landed me in therapy after smashing my self esteem into tiny bits. The therapy was amazing, taught me how to have self respect, boundaries and bin anyone that treated me like crap.
What that means is - and what I found out from dating since the therapy - 95% men end up getting binned eventually lol! It's not about 'picking bad ones' or attracting the wrong sort at all. If you're a half decent looking woman, there's a huge amount of men who probably fancy you or would have sex with you. Men aren't that picky (just see that video where one of them's getting on with a mc chicken sandwich). It's about having boundaries and getting rid of the people in your life who you start dating then find out have red flags and aren't very nice to you. Which is hard, and a bit demoralising when you realise quite how many people behave quite poorly.