Melanie Murphy #21 How to avoid a guy for 10 days

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Agelsfa

It always just feels so extreme with Melanie. Either she is flat out potato waffling or she's vegan or she's no UPFs etc. Just eat a normal diet, some from column a and some from column b. The amount of time and energy she has wasted over the years obsessing over food is absurd. She could have a whole series of shite books written in the time she has dedicated to food. Porridge and fruit for breakfast, soup/sandwich/salad for lunch, normal dinner, snacks if you fancy it, jobs done, go live your life.
 
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hallandoatmilk

Every bariatric doctor worth their salt will tell you that everything in moderation is the only correct approach. If you’re craving m&ms, have a few m&ms as part of a more filling balanced snack. Your body gets to satisfy its craving while also feeling fuller with something like the apple and macadamias Melanie used as an example. If you ignore all of your bodies cravings you will end up in a binge cycle eventually; which she has done before. She knows this. The stuff she is putting out right now on food is so so dangerous.
 
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Sazb64

monga said:
Auditioning for Mrs Browns Boys 🫤
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I love that her MIL put in the rollers, that one knows what she's at the legend also, why is she saying sneakers now?! And a white shirt to a playground?! Stop she always misses the mark
 
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Wills315

Nah as if she's bringing that MASSIVE jar on the fucking plane? She's not going to be allowed bring that on as hand luggage Jesus this holiday will be a hoot won't it, poor Tomo won't even be able to eat what he wants or have a few beers . I hope the kids are a nightmare on the plane for her
 
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monga

Wonder will baldy wear his pilots hat on the plane …it’ll be like Flowers In The Attic again she won’t socialise .
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The floor bed of dreams eh! …I wouldn’t be telling the world I’m going on holiday for security reasons , then again someone might break in and tidy the place for her
 
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artemist

monga said:
Auditioning for Mrs Browns Boys 🫤
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Isn’t that the grandad pad she’s in too? That’s the colour they did his place. I simply couldn’t whip my boob out in front of my dad like that
 
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monga

artemist said:
Isn’t that the grandad pad she’s in too? That’s the colour they did his place. I simply couldn’t whip my boob out in front of my dad like that
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Yes it looks like it, he’s probably sick looking at them by this stage, will she be whipping them out to her in-laws on holiday
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Luvdagoss said:
Is there even a sheet on that manky mattress on the floor?
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Doesn’t look like it you can see the seam .
 
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sasbeep

How can she have a pilot husband and think you can make a massive liquidy overnight oats FOR THE PLANE???
 
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Wills315

monga said:
I’m assuming she meant before they leave
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But what is she planning to do with the big jar? Cant just go for a fry and a pre flight pint like everyone else, has to be different I wouldn't be surprised if she tried to take aload of pre made food on the plane and then kicks up a fuss when she can't
 
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mama.llama.drama

Luvdagoss said:
Is there even a sheet on that manky mattress on the floor?
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There is not. Yuck. I have waterproof mattress protectors (and fitted sheets … obviously) on every bed in our house. Disgusting not too, especially with young kids making a mess of everything!

She is a right grot. No doubt they’ll have mould under these mattresses when they eventually pull them up. Or maybe just carpet moths again?
 
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monga

I think she’ll consume the concoction before she leaves home for the airport…The mere mortals will be having a fry and pint ..She may sneak a waffle or two on for the kids and grab them a coke at the airport
 
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rattleprattle

Shall we do a mummy influencer on holibops bingo?
Breastfeeding pic on the plane (discussion about how boobies yet again saved the day)

Pic of Thomas in Italy in 30 degree heat still wearing that black bomber jacket and the filthy converse because that and the pilot hat is the only outfit he owns.

Melanie trying to dress like Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday but looking like Janet from Rocky Horror.

Refusing to eat pizza and buckets of carbs because ~eating disorder~ she’s “healthy”’now.

Refusing to go out and be social with Thomas family on the family holiday because she has to hide in the room breastfeeding the child that eats more solid food than she does.

Flare up of mystery illness never before reported in the history of medicine meaning she has to sit in the room for most of the holiday and then come home early.
 
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monga

All of it …Considering she gets worked up over pram naps she might be stretchered off the plane
 
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hallandoatmilk

There’ll be at least one rant on stories about people staring at her when she’s breastfeeding in public. Which will of course be full of lies because Italians really don’t give a fuck about that stuff.
 
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rattleprattle

If they do stare it will be at the woman lying flat out on the floor or with her arse up in the air. Her breastfeeding in public has always been performative.
 
Reactions: 6
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