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KawaiiAF

VIP Member
lol that's hilarious, he made his bed.

Be careful what you wish for, Mark!

I've always found in life whenever I've manipulated something to get a result, it turns out to be an utter nightmare. Always better to allow things to occur naturally. I stopped trying to make things happen back in my teens.

I don't watch any of them anymore, they're so idiotic I lose brain cells. The last I saw them they were staying in new york, zoe was attached to her bed eating pizza and they were getting ubers everywhere rather than walk. zoe was giving daggers to mark for even suggesting having an alcoholic drink and was a complete fun sponge. Was the final straw for me lol.

Although it was mildly amusing that zoe thought alfie was going to propose, it's as plain as the nose on her face he never will. instead he proper rubbed her nose in it and got her a necklace which she forcedly pretended to love. lol!

they're so bad they're almost comedy!!

I remember alfie talking and saying he wanted kids first, then a wedding much later, and the kids to be present at his wedding as 'he's never been to a wedding with kids and they should be at weddings, and he doesn't know anyone with kids to come'. He's completely nuts! At the time he was bff's with the saccone-jolys who have more children than you can shake a stick at. Dimwits the lot of them. I've rather enjoyed their descent into obscurity!
 
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StephenTJackson

VIP Member
His latest video: Lets Talk: DATING!
  • He is WAY to fast in dating --- 3 dates and we are serious? Are we OK? He is tooooooooooooooooo keen, no wonder why they run a mile.
  • He doesn't like the people he dates dating other people? --- Until you are official, you have NO rights to be emotional because they are dating other people
  • He wants INSTANT replies ---- he has been told he is impatient (I can see that)
  • He enjoys playing the victim in dating --- everyone is leading him on, he doesn't get modern dating etc
Somehow Mark being high maintenance, needy, and generally over the top in relationships doesn’t surprise me.
 
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Oohthedrama

Iconic Member
Moderator
Yet another fucking “poor me” upload from mark, the same fucking shit he does at least once a month when Mark is on his period.

mark for the love of god go paint your nails, do a face mask and SHUT THE FUCK UP
 
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thenomad

VIP Member
If it wasn’t for his thread on Tattle, I would have forgotten Mark exists. He’s so unremarkable and when he’s with Zoe he’s insufferable.
 
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StephenTJackson

VIP Member
I am shocked and appalled that he hasn't got a thread yet.

But this Brit award outfit?? Both him and Montana look trash.
He has such a terrible sense of style, not just here but in general, his style is bloody awful! Not as bad as Alfie’s because Mark’s clothes do at least generally fit, but still awful. And he likes to pretend he is a bit of a fashionista!
 
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GossWhore

VIP Member
He has such a terrible sense of style, not just here but in general, his style is bloody awful! Not as bad as Alfie’s because Mark’s clothes do at least generally fit, but still awful. And he likes to pretend he is a bit of a fashionista!
He was actually STYLED for this monstrosity!
95a476019814d9416426d55afae002ec.jpg
 
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DoreenYadeley

VIP Member
The STATE of his knuckles in his latest vid. I'm assuming it's from tan and not just from dragging them around on the floor after himself?

Screenshot_20200214_185603.jpg


Also who the HELL would cut a lemon in quarters and then use the juicer? He can't be that thick can he?? Oh, ok.

Yeah...
Screenshot_20200214_185244.jpg
 
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Alfies_Boy

Well-known member
His begging to his viewers was pathetic and desperate.

“I feel like people want to see bougie lifestyles of successful people doing things. But I just wanna rest on my laurel and continue making pathetic videos of me in my flat eating crap and watching Netflix with a blanket - you agree with me don’t you???????!!!!!!!!!!”

No Mark, the world has moved on. We don’t wanna see you desperately trying to hide your receding hairline, caking yourself in make up and giving yourself compliments, while you talk about shitting, blocking your toilet, how awful your flat is and visiting your enabler parents.
 
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Alightened

VIP Member
Without Zoe, he unfortunately wouldn't be visible on you tube or any form of social media to be honest. He somehow got lucky and caught Zoe's eye, maybe because she's a waste of space like him🙄 and saw how much he reminded her of herself... lazy, half arsed and boring.
 
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KawaiiAF

VIP Member
Mark has always been cringe worthy.

Originally found him through the video testing Zoe products where he gushed endlessly. Then kept sending it to Zoe after he kept ignoring him.

Worst sort of clingy fan, ever.

He hasn't improved at all. Last I saw him he was making desperate attempts to get Harry Styles to notice him, using the same tactics. It fell flat. Only Zoe was desperate enough to give him the time of day. She loves a good leech.
 
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Rebecca1995

Active member
Urgh just seen he got a gifted trip to disney. Sorry but so many children DREAM of going to Disney but their parents cant afford it because its just stupidly priced, yet this grown up with plenty of money gets to go for free…
 
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Amorphis35

Well-known member
These last two vlogs from them have really pissed me off more than normal. They’re so pathetic but genuinely think they’re relatable. Who in NORMAL day to day life can buy the sheer amount of stuff they buy?
Got me when Mark asked Zoe if she finds buying toilet roll annoying and her response was oh yeah we get it online as it takes up too much space in the trolley. First world problems right there folks, in other words not relatable cause if you need loo roll when you're shopping you just get it!
 
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MarthaBartha

Active member
The man is utterly pathetic. He’s so self-congratulatory that he figured out he felt sick because of anxiety. Get over yourself mate.

Can’t bear his sloppy and lazy content, and bad editing. There are teenage YouTubers and influencers who, to their credit, are doing a better job than this clown who peaked due to his frenemy-ship with Zoella.

I could write a record-breaking list on why he’s single:
Orange stained hands and fingers
Bitten to buggery nails
Prit Sticked Eyebrows
Always talking about his bum hole and having the shits
Can’t cook basic meals
Eats McDonald’s every other day
Wears sickly sweet perfumes made for teen girls
Fan base is pre-teen girls
Badly concealed receding hairline
Shit hair
Bad make up
Terrible clothes and questionable fashion choices
Tacky decor
No ambition
Wasteful
Can’t save money
No long term goals
Poor video editing
Poor vlogging skills
Follows trends from 18 year old YouTubers
Self-obsessed
Delusional obsession with positivity
Questionable music tastes
Horse teeth
Unintelligent
Poor vocabulary
Uneducated and uninformed
No real hobbies
No self awareness
 
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Oohthedrama

Iconic Member
Moderator
Spot on 2bh
his insecure gibberish every fortnight is getting OLD .

I’m so boring I know people don’t like me, I don’t know why you watch me, you guys make me feel accepted, I’m so nervous around others”

Pull the other one you boring twat.
I say it on the SaffronBarker thread..... I blame her ex Jake for making her a thing.
I blame Zoe for gifting us this idiot that nobody needed
 
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StephenTJackson

VIP Member
Well in Zoes latest vlog they are talking about their ideal weddings and Mark says ''My future husband would be there waiting for me''
I think Mark is out without ever actually saying he's out. Which is nice in a sense, somebody not feeling the need to actually "come out".
 
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MarthaBartha

Active member
Mark: OMG this Oliver Bonas hand sanitizer smells AMAZING!!
*squirts into hands*
Mark: Oh it doesn’t actually smell of anything.
*two second later*
Mark: Thank you for supporting the brands I work with, I would never lie to you!

yeah right Mark you’re fooling no one. Go cry wank over your lonely Christmas.
 
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