Lydia Millen #45 You name your thread how you want, lovely, and so do I. Globy xoxo

[Laura_jy]

this episode of ab fab, Hunting, shooting, fishing when patsy and Eddie go ‘country’ reminds me of Lydia and Ali’s efforts the flat cap!!!! Too try hard! Cringe

 

[Miscanthus]

Vlogger Lidl went out for a jog
It was 5am and there was fog
In her own private lane
She slipped down a drain
And emerged in Northamptonshire's bog

 

[Elle Belle]

I do regularly go for morning runs. I do regularly post on Instagram. I do not do both simultaneously.

Can you imagine on your run or commute to work, you see Lydia posing like that?
On tippy-toes to appear an inch taller.
Right leg jutted out to appear another inch taller.
Flowing locks to showcase her gratitude for her dead hair.
Arms kicked back as any time is nap time, when you're such a busy bee.
Hands up checking her head is still intact.
Bobble secured on wrist, because waists aren't the only things that need cinching in too.
Gloves firmly on to conceal her Christmas nails, or the farmer may start another cat fire in a fit of jealously.
Distant gaze to emulate deep in thought, when she's likely only thinking about her shit summer of 2020.

Avid runner. Cringe. The only way she probably makes it out of the gates, is because she's fuelled by gluten flatulence.

 

[Claretomas]

Ali is starting to annoy me as much as Lydia. Talking in his vlog about how busy he is and how overwhelmed he feels. He then proceeds to sweep outside, chat into his camera and filmed some footwear. These people have no idea.

Also, they both use the word “currently” whenever they’re describing what they’re doing. “Lydia is currently in the kitchen.” “I’m currently in the living room” - YOU DON’T NEED TO SAY CURRENTLY, IT’S CLEAR YOU’RE TELLING US WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW. It makes me irrationally angry.

 

[Miscanthus]

Thanks to our @AmaliaLana for the thread title!

Well, it's a new thread again and Lydiot has managed to survive the week despite the clocks changing, her crap diet of reheated risotto and pasta with twiglets asparagus, terminal acne, the tradesmen seeing her scrawny body naked, and manual labour!
We now find our little moley moo moo pippiehead elf has morphed into a media star, with a double page spread in Cosmo, as a guest in a podcast and featured in the Times Property section.
She might be an interior design expert but she hasn't mastered the art of the apology.
Oh, and she's creating a wreath for charity, adapting recipes and ordering ever more fleeces!

 

[MichiganGal]

I still reckon he has had some work done. He’s so pouty now

One minute he looks like grandpa, then he is posing like he is in a Zoolander movie, and the next day he looks like a doofus. Nothing about him is appealing anymore. He needs to man up or Lydia will look more manly than him. His clothes are costumes and this latest costume is a joke. I worked outside all day in 38 F (3C) degree windy weather. I was dressed in a Carhartt coat (this is the brand that US people wear when they work outside), Carhartt leather work gloves, a fleece headband ear warmer no brand name with my hair not styled but pulled up in a pony tail, and jeans (classic cut) without designer holes because I want to stay warm. No makeup just my usual Elizabeth Arden eye serum and my Impeachmint (anti Trump) mint lip balm, which is running out just as his time in the White House is running out, yea Me!!!! I then cut up some dead tree limbs (w an axe and wedge) so I could burn them in the burner barrel (willow wood so can't burn in my 3 fireplaces), then I started winter prep on the 10 beehives, and finished up with removing the glass tops on my vintage wrought iron patio furniture. I went inside just once in 6 hours and no one brought me a f$%king cheese board or Whispering Angel wine. Tomorrow I will be back outside to finish the hive winter prep. Then I have 3 new hives that I need to put together (glue and clamp then prime and paint/grey to match my barn) because I need to get them outside and on their pedestals so they can go through a winter to rid themselves of any off gassing before I colonize them in the spring. Oh and in between all of that, tomorrow I am making potato soup with cheese and veggies without a Thermoshit thingy or a Cawwie to do the cooking. Ali and Lydia model their lives based on staged photos that they have seen in a glossy magazine like Town and Country. I can't believe they think that is real life.

 

[Michelle05]

It’s so interesting to see how different she acts in her own vlogs compared to Ali’s vlogs. In her own she’s overly animated and tries her hardest to seem like her and Ali is having the time of their lives laughing and living the perfect yet “normal” married life. But it just doesn’t feel right, there’s something off about it, I feel nothing when I see her laughing hysterical or trying to cry, the real emotions just aren’t there.

In Ali’s vlogs you see her narcissistic mask slip all the time, in his vlogs she’s herself, she’s completely uninterested to be warm and trying to seem “fun” because it’s not about her. Her body language and tone of voice changes completely and you can see her zone out when he’s talking.
I can only imagine how their relationship is when the cameras are turned off.

 

[Mrs Wilde 7]

BOOT ROOM?! You mean the hallway by your backdoor?

 

[Julia123]

I thought that too, he's a year younger than her.

Ali is a SHELL of who he was even a year ago... like he literally has an illness sucking the life out of him and she is also looking and acting worse and more twisted and strange by the day.... there is something seriously toxic going on. CAWWWIE is quite literally withering away and looks like a shell of who she once was and morphing into eyebrow angry bird passive aggressive. The cat is a hot mess from the coconut oil that made lydia happy that lumi would like her when eating it (all about Lydia). And even the sprootlings were forced to be born at the wrong season and suffered an untimely death by frost. Depop Dee needs to grab Bolli and the lemon trees and run for the hills!

 

[Morest]

You guys.....

 

[Julia123]

I would've understood a glamour/sexy shoot, but at which point in your life do you stand in the street holding this sign thinking "this is a great pic idea"?

View attachment 306347

O M G I need a minute of silence. this is the WORST and I don't even mean that she's young and posing with the sign. It's that she's not laughing or making a joke of the sign. The FACE that is so different, the HAIR, the OMG outfit and um.... not "GLO' glowing fake tan. She may be a pantone color.

GURL this explains EVERYTHING. She just dresses in some sort of costume like a way to fit in... no matter what she is doing.

Somehow this copy person/shape shifter has identified and is being paid a SHIT TON OF MONEY as an influencer of beauty, fashion and interiors. NOT yet have we seen the real person. She's little kid, homeless college girl, successful college girl, fit barbie, balman blazer edgy thigh high boots, boho coachella, peasant barmaid no sleeves, navy business suit, sparkly, all black, all floral, adventure braids drunk walker hiker, all sage lavender, now horse and hound and I've probably missed a few. She's not an influencer, she's an insecure CHASER/COPIER and girl better have some savings cause her next lewk is NOT GOOD. Of course she's full of filler to change a perfectly beautiful face and has had the worst year of her life due to hair noone noticed. She spiraling.

 

[Petranka]

You guys which one of you is this??, I almost died when I saw this (on the @lydiamillenbuysfollowers on insta)

 

[Miscanthus]

Meow Tattlers

It's Winston. Reporting from base bungalow. If you didn't know already, I was named after Churchill, he got us through the war, but I just can't live up to that shit. A cat has 9 lives. I'm starting to thing that 9's too many. That woman, you know the one that looks like someone drew her face with their left hand, Lydia I think they call her, DOES NOT stop lisping at me. Or chatting wham. She sounds much better with her mouth closed, believe me. And she keeps disrupting my beauty sleep, by getting up at 5:30am to binge on her bitch flakes and stroll around the garden. In my last home, I was taught to think before I act. So if I claw the shit out of her, just know, it's a considered decision. Other than that, her secrets are safe with me. I don't understand moron. Plus, I think I zoned out after 30 minutes. Oh, other than she is short, well shortish, about tall enough to reach asshole level. And she smells so bad of fake tan and flatulence, even North Korea wouldn't use her as a chemical weapon.

The house elf, my husband I think he's called, is harmless enough. Although, I've found puddles deeper than him. But he best stop teasing me filling up those bird feeds. I hope one of those birds shits on his face. And don't get me started on Lumi. Do her parents even realise they're living proof two wrongs don't make a right? She's somewhat temperamental. 50% temper. 50% mental. So needy too. Constantly meowing and purring. Beautiful things don't ask for attention. She must be ugly then. Plus, the meow on the street is that she's a bully. Lumi did give me some meows of advice though. Never piss someone off who bleeds for 3 weeks a month and doesn't die. Never a truer meow spoken.

The only good thing about this shit hole, is that the cats rule the house. Now, it sounds a little crazy, but you can actually bring mice in here and walk across the kitchen surfaces. And, and this is a big AND. They've just built us these massive litter beds in the garden. But, if my owners are reading this, my real owners, not the beggar ones, I promise I'll be good, if I can come home. I won't even look at the baby. What baby?! If not, I'm confident my last meows will be are you fucking me.

Meow Winston

Dear Winston, welcome to Tattle, fellow feline!
History says that your namesake was in the right place at the right time, and so are you! Unfortunately, when he was no longer of use he was not re-elected, but don't let that worry you....this could be your finest hour!
The fact is we now have a furry Tattle spy in the bungalow to tell us what's really going on and wreak havoc!
So, as one countryside cat to another (I'm pedigree too, don't you know) take my advice...
If you get the chance to cough up a fur ball there's a thing called a Thermomix on the kitchen counter...great receptacle!
If you feel like throwing up, there's always My Husband's Baker Boy tweed cap! Or for max impact, in front of the fire.
Urge to poo? Third drawer down in Lidl's dressing room's island there's a drawer full of #gifted #PR product Intimissimissimiiimememe underwear. Purrfect!
Need a good scratch? Start with her dressing gown! And the #gifted sisal carpet on the stairs is made for claws!
Fancy a nap? Make sure it's on HER sofa....5pm should time it just right before she retires for the evening !
Oh, and if you are shedding some of that gorgeous fur, make sure it's only on cashmere....or pasta!
There are a couple of good places for a wee...the house Elf has two citrus trees, Lidl's Louis Vuiton trunk or any phone or laptop. Oh, and anything sage! And anything designer...
If you bring in a few rats then feel free to drop them in the Boot Room....that's the corridor by the back door...you'll soon find your way around! The wellies Dubarry boots and running shoes are very handy but Louboutin boots even better!
Digging around in the garden? Hydrangeas, roses and box balls are all yours! The raised beds are your playground.
I always like a good chew, especially telephone and internet cables, so feel free...any cable...all taste the same!
Outside and in, anything referred to as a "sproutling" is fair game.
If you really want to annoy them, make friends with Cawwie (she's the one who smells of dog and wine) and ignore them!
Make sure you are fussy about your food...demand the best! None of that #gifted Purina nonsense. I have Royal Canin for Maine Coons. Of course I do.
Throw a couple of sicky days so they've got the vet on speed dial and don't recover until it's cost them a fortune!
Finally, take no nonsense from Lumi...some coconut oil will see her off. As for Bolly, he's just a pup. A few swipes, claws out, should do it!
Good luck and were looking forward to regular reports from the Bungalow!
Meow xx

 

[Michelle05]

Ali looks ill in his vlog, there’s nothing behind his eyes, no happiness, excitement, emotions.
If I saw my husband looking like this and talking to our cat while filming the inside of the trash bin, talking monotonous about that his la mer skincare jar is now empty but that “he is happy he has a new one” I’d be seriously concerned and call for a family intervention.

What exactly is he stressed about? He mows the lawn, heats up beige food, takes pictures of himself for Instagram and then repeats it for the next day. Apart from living with Lydia what exactly is so stressful about his everyday life in lockdown compared to pre covid?

 

[blue_orchid]

About the 8 minute mark of her new vlog, dear God, her "cheekbones" look so distorted and ridiculous. I see now with this doc pumping filler in her cheeks and elongating her chin -her face looks massive now for her body. She truly looks like a bobble head. I just hope that she sees this and takes a break from all the filler before things are irreparable.

The vlog was exhausting to even speed through as it's just opening of box after box after box. The way she rips open packages is so ungraceful and impatient. She must get a high from opening packages and buying things.

And all her cackling and laughing in the kitchen with Ali just feels forced and odd. Someone here said it - she's a cold, unhappy person in Ali's vlogs but over the top and completely different in her vlogs.

And the number of jackets! Her and Ali yet again being fucking posers this year dressing as if they ride and shoot. Where do they wear this too?

I've never seen two more pretentious, insecure, ungrounded people, honestly.

 

[thelittleone0909]

Guys. What the hell did I just watch? I know times are hard and a paid partnership is a paid partnership. But I don’t know who to ask what they were thinking more, loreal or her? What in the sweet name of level 11 of 2020 is going on? This is never, ever, going to make someone buy the hairspray? It is terrible marketing. It’s self indulgent, there are no layers to it, nothing relatable, terrible acting, terrible look, terrible hair (God the hair), zero new information learned about the product. And it’s tacky. No one wants to look that tacky. Halloween’s over girl. The moments passed.

 

[Miscanthus]

I've got a business idea for Lidl.....a dressing gown....on the basis that she spends most of her time in one.
Based on her own guidelines and other criteria it should be:

• Only available in one colour to avoid multiple purchases in every colour
• That colour to be experimental.....er ...maybe beige so food doesn't show up
• Not a trend driven shape ie classic styling
• Size up for comfort
• Self cleaning for those times you find yourself wearing it in your garden grounds
• A hood for when you want to avoid the camera
• Waterproof for those damp moments
• Long pile so cat hairs blend in
• Have her signature on it.....because everything has to...
• Be called an 'Edit'
• Only available in short and extra short....for short people

 

[orangelolly]

I don't know if I can articulate this well but here goes...she may think she's "rich" but for me she doesn't live a rich life. My wealth is my small but quality group of friends, a husband who loves me and is my equal and a family who care about me and check in on me regularly. She may have cash in the bank but she can't boast any of these things that most of us consider essentials in life.

 

[shiroyagisan]

In this vlog her face looks the worst its ever looked, it looks like wax melting, with weird contours and lumps and bumps. It really is frightening what she's done to herself!

and of course we are up to 924,000

a quick reminder of the 3-year evolution

 

[Julia123]

What is she doing to the downstairs loo? Clearing it out to ‘potentially’ become a wine cellar? What an absolute moron to delete a loo from the downstairs, considering that’s been designed to be such a social space.
So she needs a whole walk in space to collect her Whispering Angel! Why can’t she build some shelves in the foyer part, outside the games room, like she said once before! God it grinds my gears it’s just something extra to look pretentious

Exactly... Bathrooms (and bedrooms) are good for resale. She's already eliminated a couple of bedrooms to make closets. And she has a wine cooler in her kitchen... and probably also one or room for more than one in the bar. Wine Cellars are not for storage of grocery store wine that fit in a wine fridge. They are for wine collectors who buy by the case and then manage when the wine is drinkable... sometimes it's a far ways out so they need a safe temperature controlled place for storage. Lydia's current "collection" lives WARM, sitting straight up, on the floor, and is under $10-20/bottle. She even drinks it warm by the roadside. I think they would be better off investing in proper wine fridges to keep the wine at the right temp and fix that bathroom!

But alas... this is like the greenhouse, or race car, countryside clothing, running shoes, or "work bag"... They don't know how to use nor need these things but they WANT them for status.