Lydia Millen #45 You name your thread how you want, lovely, and so do I. Globy xoxo

[Elle Belle]

Meow Tattlers

It's Winston. Reporting from base bungalow. If you didn't know already, I was named after Churchill, he got us through the war, but I just can't live up to that shit. A cat has 9 lives. I'm starting to thing that 9's too many. That woman, you know the one that looks like someone drew her face with their left hand, Lydia I think they call her, DOES NOT stop lisping at me. Or chatting wham. She sounds much better with her mouth closed, believe me. And she keeps disrupting my beauty sleep, by getting up at 5:30am to binge on her bitch flakes and stroll around the garden. In my last home, I was taught to think before I act. So if I claw the shit out of her, just know, it's a considered decision. Other than that, her secrets are safe with me. I don't understand moron. Plus, I think I zoned out after 30 minutes. Oh, other than she is short, well shortish, about tall enough to reach asshole level. And she smells so bad of fake tan and flatulence, even North Korea wouldn't use her as a chemical weapon.

The house elf, my husband I think he's called, is harmless enough. Although, I've found puddles deeper than him. But he best stop teasing me filling up those bird feeds. I hope one of those birds shits on his face. And don't get me started on Lumi. Do her parents even realise they're living proof two wrongs don't make a right? She's somewhat temperamental. 50% temper. 50% mental. So needy too. Constantly meowing and purring. Beautiful things don't ask for attention. She must be ugly then. Plus, the meow on the street is that she's a bully. Lumi did give me some meows of advice though. Never piss someone off who bleeds for 3 weeks a month and doesn't die. Never a truer meow spoken.

The only good thing about this shit hole, is that the cats rule the house. Now, it sounds a little crazy, but you can actually bring mice in here and walk across the kitchen surfaces. And, and this is a big AND. They've just built us these massive litter beds in the garden. But, if my owners are reading this, my real owners, not the beggar ones, I promise I'll be good, if I can come home. I won't even look at the baby. What baby?! If not, I'm confident my last meows will be are you fucking me.

Meow Winston

 

[peppermint89]

It looks so ridiculous! I’m a runner (like an actual runner, not a fair weather jogger like Lidl) and I could never carry my phone like that - or wear my hair down. It’s just so ludicrous I don’t even know who she’s trying to kid.

100% this ^

I am also an actual runner and have watched her pathetic attempt to pretend she’s now a “runner” with deep disgust. Normally I would be nothing but supportive and full of praise for anyone getting into running, but her insufferable smugness about it whilst clearly not actually doing much running, just fucks me right off.

The whole “we got up at 5:30 to run 2k” just makes me laugh. That’s approximately 12 minutes of running, and at one point in the summer she was wearing a giant fleece and a beanie to do it. As people have said here before, you can comfortably run in 4°C wearing a lightweight running jacket and T-shirt. You would overheat to the point of probably having to stop after about 2 minutes in her get up. Add to that the hair not tied back while holding a massive phone - no one actually runs like that and it just underlines that its all for the gram.

I notice they are constantly going on about about how early they go out for their “runs”, as if it’s some extraordinary feat. Judging by the amount of other runners I see when I head out pre 7am, many of us mere mortals have to fit our runs in around, oh you know, all the actual things we have to do in our lives, like having real jobs and families to look after. Not spending the working week reorganising our dressing rooms, travelling to London to have our moustaches lasered off and attempting to grow a “colly-flower” in the plague pits, sorry raised beds, that we have forced our husband to build in the “grounds” of our retirement bungalow.

In the summer she was sent an incredibly expensive pair of Hoka running shoes, purely because she was too much of a dipshit to realise hers were the wrong size before she wore them and voided the returns policy. She slyly mentioned it in a vlog and Hoka sent her a new pair within a day or two. I have been running for a decade and each pair of running shoes I have bought has been a serious investment that I have had to save up for, and this dickhead gets sent them for free. Sidenote, I also agree that Hokas look bloody ridiculous and are actually horrible to run in - I tried a pair once and it felt like I had bricks on my feet. Combine that with her bizarre, tiny stride pitter-patter ‘I’m going for a leedle wun-wun at thunwise’ running style and no wonder pippyhead’s poor little hippies can’t handle more that 2k down their “private” road. Absolute twat.

 

[K18]

Why would a child (or anyone) sit and eat breakfast on the dirty floor in front of an open fireplace? Has Lydia ever interacted with children? Does she know they are humans and not just accessories?

I feel she again wants to dig at her parents by saying what she didn’t have growing up.

I find it hysterical that Lydia thinks she will be able to get her child to sit calmly in front of the fire before school and it will all be rainbows and butterflies. When in reality the child is going to be running around playing with toys, half dressed, screaming and refusing to eat breakfast. Ali will be trying to get the school project finished before they have to leave for school. Depop Dee will be on the phone to Sainsbury's complaining they didn't gift them the correct gluten free bread for the little poppet and Aunty Carrie will be making the littles Damien's packed lunch consisting of cheese and pickle sandwiches. Lydia will of course be upstairs curling her hair for the fifteenth time that morning whilst deciding what colour Louboutins she should wear to show off to all the other mums at the school gate.

Also this isn't 1864, they have central heating! There is zero need for the child to need warming up in front of a fire before the journey to school Is he being dropped off by horse and cart?

 

[Muff_Puff]

Sorry @avabella - I've only just seen your request from 2 threads ago.

 

[blue_orchid]

I honestly don't think I've seen two more insecure, unhappy, pretentious losers in my entire lie.

She copies all her peers and tries to one up them but never can. She clearly took the pajama pants up by several inches then tucks the top in to pretend that all of us here were wrong. Bitch, please.

No, the twat is short and hates it. She seems to hate so much about herself that's why she continuously changes everything about herself and her surroundings. So ungrounded and insecure, it's pathetic at age 32.

And Ali is just as ridiculous. Putting on all that gear and moronic cap to garden?!? They are truly meant for each other. They both hate their height, their faces, hate their lives and so want to perpetrate all the time they are some rich country folk living in a mansion, wearing horse and hound attire and "country pajamas". WTF even is that?!

Then when we say how gaunt and sick Ali looks - lo and behold, right away he's got his shirt off flexing his "muscles". He does realize that we know there are video editing and filters that can change people's faces, body size, body shape and add muscles right? And love how he causally places the boxes of new thermal base layers he bought just so, so he can show that he bought them in a Large. That'll be going back whilst he keeps his actual size - the Small. Are these two this fucking miserable and insecure?

As for wealth, I know of people that are millionaires- like many of you- friends of my Mom and Dad. But not barely a million like Lydiot but worth 10 mill to 50 mill and even they don't act this fucking pretentious and ridiculous. They do not feel the need for designer shit. They are humble and most you would never even know they were millionaires because they all had to work they asses off to become what they were. Many were raised in true poverty so even though they have wealth now they are so careful with it. I only see them spend freely when they donate and gift $ to organizations and charities to help others now that they are able to.

They are true rags to riches stories and true successes. Truly grateful for what they have and also know it can all be gone in a second. They have humility and worked for this riches. Nothing was handed, gifted to them nor did they have to embarrasingly beg for on the internet the way Lydiot does on the daily.

Talk about lack of class- fucking blatantly begging for shit on the regular for thousands to see. If she had $, she wouldn't have to fucking beg like that. Nor sell a clock for 1 bloody quid or tops for 5 quid. Now she is saying people better give her payment within 10 minutes?! That, my friends, is someone in financial disarray and trouble. She can pretend she is not, but she clearly fucking is.

And at a time in the world where people are dying, families suffering, people unsure if they will have a job or another paycheck, this cunt is prancing around in loads of new clothes, opening box after box like a crazed nutter and still so self immersed.

She makes me beyond fucking nauseous. And yes, I'm in super duper bitch mode today. I hope this twat learns a harsh life lesson and understands what it is to be afraid of losing everything or to have actually lost everything. People like this are heinous and vile. She does not even have the emotional and intellectual intelligence to be able to decipher what is appropriate and what is not at a time like this.

Or in truth, probably just does not give a flying fuck about anyone else. The thing that disgusted me more than anything was the homeless event and her fucking lies after trying to make it seem that she was poor and homeless. And then the Farmers Hamper shit where she happily took free groceries over and over when people had lost jobs, couldn't pay rent or the mortgage nor know if they could put a proper meal on the table. She did not even care to deliver the free hampers to senior citizens living alone, single moms, charities or homeless shelters.

And then blames the work men for breaking her stupid pricey mugs, is a bitch when they don't show or show late during a pandemic whilst she rolls around in her grubby dressing gown on the lawn mower watching them like she is Baroness of the Bungalow. Berates and puts down the wardrobe company and furniture company for her dining table just because she has changed her mind and so now comes up with lies, then posts this on the internet so these companies have no choice but to give her what she wants so they won't lose business. Does she even think to triple tip the people that are delivering her take aways during the pandemic or those delivering her groceries? I'm sorry. But her unwarranted arrogance, smugness, greed and lack of humility and altruism is beyond disgusting. The amount of purchasing, free gifts received and unboxing she has done recently is worse than ever.

I hope karma gets the bitch. The end.

 

[Elle Belle]

From her Cosmopolitan article. I'm creased.

Using the same colours
You wear SAGE all the frickin time, Lydia. You're sage and hood and lie like a mufucka would.

Items that are too trend-driven
So, do you or do you not want us all to swipe up on your Nasty Gal affiliate links??? I wish I could understand you, but I don't bark.

Uncomfortable clothing
But you buy everything in the smallest size, then still cinch in it. You're so full of shit, cinching your waist in is turning your eyes brown.

Buying the same thing in multiple colours
Literally in your last vlog, you complained that the £200 fleeces were expensive, then proceeded to buy them in 3 different colours. Don't you need a license to be this stupid?

At least the spelling is on point. I bet the editor had to work overtime though.

 

[Muff_Puff]

Sorry @Gertrude - I've only just seen your request from 2 threads ago.

 

[Elle Belle]

I'm aware it's still media projections, but Biden has now evidently won the US presidency. Yassssss America.

It's HUGE for humanity worldwide. Biden is anti-Brexit, so it's critical for British politics too. Lydia is obviously a Tory though. No way would Mrs Me, Myself and I advocate for others.

Plus, Harris is the first woman of colour elected Vice President. This is massive.

Not a peep from Lydia. All her reposting of BLM and feminism, in general, was just tokenism. Jumping on the social media bandwagon. 'Being the best white person to help black people'. She speaks fluent shit. I bet there were no folded over pages in those books.

She's probably too busy circling her Christmas list in Horse and Hound magazine, to even check the news.

 

[Muff_Puff]

Ali has a really big (cone) head or is it just the hat ?

Nope. It's not the hat!

 

[Oops...]

Bacterial Girl

Some germs romance, some germs square dance
Some live in my tea
At my house, just like my spouse
You share my germs with me

No disclaimers, my retainer’s
There for all to see
At my firm you’ll find each germ
Is mine and each one’s free

’Cos we are living in a Bacterial World
And I am a Bacterial Girl
Yes we are living in a Bacterial World
And I am a Bacterial Girl

When you witness health and fitness
Germs are everywhere
Like a virgin or tree surgeon
I work like a prayer

My criteria for bacteria’s
Mine and only mine
(You’re fine)
Phototropic, philanthropic
Garnished in sage slime

’Cos we are living in a Bacterial World
And I am a Bacterial Girl
Yes we are living in a Bacterial World
And I am a Bacterial Girl

Healing potion? What a notion
What a panacea
Credit where it’s due
I’ve had the germ of an idea

A Bacterial
A Bacterial
A Bacterial
A Bacterial

Living in a Bacterial World
Bacterial
Living in a Bacterial World
Bacterial
Living in a Bacterial World
Bacterial
Living in a Bacterial World
Bacterial...

 

[Elle Belle]

Hi Tatters

I need to clear this up once and for all. I am NOT buying followers. My bots are real. So stop reporting them! I'm considering becoming religious so I can pray for you all to burn in hell. And what's this constant obsession with my height? Short. Excuse me what did you say? I have an ear disease called I don't fucking care. You measure your height how you want and so do I. You can't all have supermodel long bodies and ballerina high insteps like me.

I hope you're all swiping up for my Intimissimi pyjamas. My husband doesn't like the look of them on me. He told me when I used to wear silk I used to take his breath away, then he realised he was just suffocated by my bullshit. I would tell him to go fuck himself, but I'm pretty sure he'd be disappointed. Unlike Horse and Hound magazine. I'm bound to get a double page spread again. I am country couture after all. A rich farmer's wife in the making. It isn't the life for everyone, looking at you Josie, but country is in my jeans. I'm just trying to persuade Ali to get me a puppy. FROW has one. So should I. But if my dog was as ugly as her, I'd shave his ass and make him walk backwards. I can't keep borrowing Bolly forever. I don't borrow. Beg, yes. But borrow, no.

I didn't post about Trump losing the election as I know exactly how he felt. Not to be orange, to have straw hair or to be strongly disliked. No, I've been a victim of fraud too. I was deprived of Glóby sales. It should have been a multiple sellout by now. The stores should have been begging me to stock their shelves by now. I knew I shouldn't have listened to Cawwee telling me to disable the comments. Lazy bish deflecting it onto my attitude. Just because those who don't know me think I'm on drugs. And those that do know me think I should be. I live in Buckinghamshire now not Ibiza Town silly moos. Anyhoo must dash. I'm up at 5:30 again, now I'm an avid runner. Most people don't know this, but you can't run without telling Instagram about it. Oh you're disheartened that I'm going so soon. I'm sorry, was it my job to fill your life with joy today?

Love Lydia xx

 

[Elle Belle]

Vlog Monday 9th November - '9 Winter Outfits Haul' (They're all the dream. That. Is. It.)

- She's had a bit of trouble. She was run down the other week so missed a few days of filming. She's finishing videos only a day before they go live and that's just not how she's able to do things. Thank you Lydia for your brilliant portrayal of a self-centered asshole.
- She's opened some PR Christmas stockings. She says one for me and for of Ali, then corrects herself to both for me. All these flavours. And you choose to be salty.
- She's working in partnership with Holland Cooper. She feels it's in line with her style at the moment. Another gilet. She's obsessed. Guess what? She needs a size down. Congratulations on achieving your degree of Master of the Obvious.
- She keeps saying Ali is going to be so jealous. What of women's clothing?
- Her next coat is 'I live in the country and I'm fancy'. It's sage. It's the dream. So what other gems of knowledge do you have for us today Lydia?
- She tries on Ali's flat cap and lisps how cute does she look. You have your head so far up your own ass Lydia. You can chew your food twice.
- She tries on a cable knit jumper and highlights it's from Victoria's edit. She's ordered it in another colour. And silk shirts in six colours. I'd rather trust raw sushi from the gas station than her Cosmo fashion tips. She had a situation the other week where she'd been working in the garden all day, then a friend came over and she had nothing to throw on over jeans. Oh here's your problem. It's not that you don't have 6 wardrobes full of clothes. It's you're a fuckface.
- The jogpurs do not fit as she couldn't get them over her feet. Haaaaa! You gotta put it on me like that.
- She says the quality and fabrics are just beautiful. Unlike Globy.
- She worries about on walks wearing boots and having warm but wet feet or wellies and having cold but dry feet. We are all born ignorant. But one must work really hard to remain stupid.
- She's been having bad headaches again. It'll be all that hard work exhausting her two brain cells trying to decide between boots or wellies.
- As it's been getting dark earlier she feels the working day is just going so fast. This is not how it works Lydia! She's been so busy filing and hanging clothes. Oh and she had some more things delivered. She's ordered four cookbooks. There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.
- Leftover mac and cheese for dinner, but there's not enough so she's adding some green beans to give it more substance. Glad to see you're making the most of those shelf decorations cookbooks Lydia.
- She's left her retainer on the kitchen worktop. Ali says it's disgusting. She responds she'll disinfect the worktop. But he has no issue with Lumi wiping her ass over the surfaces. Go figure. Ali won't share a toothbrush or touch her retainer as he says it stinks. She then protests how she cleans it everyday. I guess you are so far up your own ass you can lick your tonsils. So this may account for the smell. Or you're just a lazy bish who doesn't clean her retainer.
- She's had 3 squares of chocolate and now a hot chocolate. Push the boat out Lydia. Hold still! I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
- The doorbell went at 9pm, and she was like who is this, but when she realised it was a delivery for her she soon brightened up. She's describing the Louboutin fragrances. She totally can't pronounce oud. Lydia, try sounding the syllables out loud or ask a fluent reader to help.
- She's realised this vlog is going to be shorter so she's decided to do her skincare routine. She's had laser hair removal on her face recently so it's sensitive. Legit question, Lydia. How can you face your problem if your problem is your face? The neom magnesium body lotion again. If she's panicking it won't send her to sleep though. She only uses it on her arms and legs as she doesn't like to waste it. Seriously? You were the sperm that won.

 

[Michelle05]

She’s such an embarrassing troll, she lives to provoke like this but forgets she’s mentally fragile and can’t handle it and then breaks down and has to take time off. It’s a never ending cycle.

Her clothes and boots in the pictures are gifted, the dog is not hers, her husband is a feminine instagram wannabe influencer and not a farmer. Her “wealth” can’t even pay for her pet having insurance. Her image of herself is as a rich farmers wife is as real as her bought followers.

 

[Namima]

A few days ago, someone on Tattle Life mentioned that Lydiot runs like Phoebe from 'Friends' ... refer to the pic below.
Oh, Alikat, always throwing the heifer under the bus !!! Or are you being passive-aggressive to Tattle Life. Or Kim Jong Lydia ? Who cares though. You've just confirmed that you read here ... hence you know that you're married to a greedy, sociopathic c*nt (can't bring myself to type out the word ). Tsk tsk. I don't feel sorry for your bony ass anymore. However, use the word 'balsam' as code if you need help.

 

[Morest]

So wait i can't stop laughing.....
I sent an email to @jadehollandcooper shes the founder and owner of Holland mayonnaise and Cooper.
Basically asked why they would use lydia to promote their garments, Yada, yada, etc etc same story different recipient

Stand by I need to control my laughter.......

This is the reply from Jade Hollandaise and Cooper

So I sent a few prize photos of Lydiot and apologised as I hadn't realised lydia was a role model in their eyes

#givemeafuckingbreakfuckheadHollandaise and Cooper

 

[CuriousCreature]

I just had to

 

[ChloeB_0412]

Hi guys, long time lurker first time poster here. I’ve loved reading all your posts and nodding along in agreement and especially love Elle Belle’s amazing vlog summaries which means I no longer have to sit through them! Like a lot of others on here, I used to be a big fan of Lydia and thought she seemed like a really sweet genuine person. Slowly my opinion of her started to change and I found this site. After a couple of glasses of wine on Saturday evening (after a looooong day of parenting my teething baby) I saw her home account story selling items that she had previously been gifted to her such as the cushion covers and it just sickens me that she is allowed to make a profit from items that she has received for free and not paid a penny for. I couldn’t help myself so sent her a message and was shocked to get a reply Sunday morning in typical Lydia ‘fangy’ style. Couldn’t help myself with my sarcastic use of ‘lovely’ in my response

 

[K18]

In the words of our founder... to put it simply, I have never laughed reading something so much in my entire life

 

[K18]

Did she actually write that! So desperate to be seen as rich! And I believe as a rich farmer’s wife she would actually be too busy to sit a pose like an absolute dick head!

Let's be realistic here, most farmers aren't rich and don't have wives that wear £900 tweed blazers and £149 wellingtons, especially to walk someone else's dog!
An actual farmers wife would be knee deep in animal getting involved with the nitty gritty, dirty work.
She looks and acts a fool. She is just playing dress up. What a clown!
She should just divorce Ali and put him out of this misery and go marry a rich 80 year old. They can eat soft beige food together, go for country walks (pushing him in his wheelchair) and sit on the couch doing nothing.

 

[Elle Belle]

#46 farmer's wife impersonator, comment terminator, raised beds cya later

#46 Shitty summer of 2020, Globy still in stock a plenty, elastic bands oh so trendy

Debating whether to watch her vlog or go to sleep. Equally both go hand in hand.