Louise Thompson #19 The curious incident of the unlucky tshirt, the fire pit and a bowl of rice krispies
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So all those candles she just bought from Zara are now just ... gone, replaced by new fake candles. Her conspicuous consumption is appalling. Yet Ryan is waxing lyrical, like a Stoic on crack, about a simple life with less stuff and more nature. Pair of lying, cheating ass clowns
I think he’s probably just trying to tap in to the first time parent influencer angle. With all of his wonderful tips and wealth of experience he can pass on to other first time dads. Ferne McCann has had multiple tv series called ‘first time mum’. He certainly sees himself as super dad.
It did make me think though, if they went down the surrogate route then louise would have to have IVF treatment unless they use a donor egg. Imagine the drama that would bring.
I don’t think they could have sorted a surrogate pregnancy this quickly. And I don’t think she is pregnant.
His latest post is a joke. I’d like to see him take his own advice. All words and no action from those two.
I was about to say I'd lose all respect for her if she had a surrogate pregnancy, but I have none
My first ever thread title
i could be happy but you know #trauma
It appears that even Sam doesn’t bother to wind Louise up anymore. He always used to do pranks on her. I bet she’s a real fun sponge.
The bleeping irony of his latest post talking about pressures brought by instagram. Whilst showing off daily on Instagram and begging for freebies which he then rubs in people’s faces.
The prick acts like he grafts so hard.
Talking about finding more time to less, some of us have full time jobs and full time kids you square headed prick.
finding cabins in the woods ha ha ha you mean messaging companies asking for gifted stays or getting freebies from Louise’s friends.
He really is so full of it.
Cooking meals sponsored by Sainsbury’s or El Paso.
Also needs to get over his fire pit obsession, it’s not profound or symbolic to burn items on a fire it’s literally just a fire, something that apparently was causing him trauma or as I believe he called it ptsd a few months ago because of the memory of the terrible house fire
The prick acts like he grafts so hard.
Talking about finding more time to less, some of us have full time jobs and full time kids you square headed prick.
finding cabins in the woods ha ha ha you mean messaging companies asking for gifted stays or getting freebies from Louise’s friends.
He really is so full of it.
Cooking meals sponsored by Sainsbury’s or El Paso.
Also needs to get over his fire pit obsession, it’s not profound or symbolic to burn items on a fire it’s literally just a fire, something that apparently was causing him trauma or as I believe he called it ptsd a few months ago because of the memory of the terrible house fire
Sidenote, that comment by @witchandchips in the last thread 'Old El Passive Aggressive' absolutely killed me 
Update
- despite being at death’s door with bleeding from an undisclosed orifice, Louise was able to enjoy a grifted weekend in Suffolk with Ryan, the dogs and Leo. She had phoned ahead to be totally sure that if nearly died a sixth time, she’d be able to be ambulanced to hospital to eat rice crispies.
- Thankfully, she had such a lovely time eating pizza and cake and watching Leo outside in a high chair she forgot about nearly dying. Ryan mostly stayed in the hot tub with Leo looking joyfully on from his chair prison.
- Back in London a couple of drunk men looked into the Ring doorbell, which sent Ryan into a dreadful spin about how unsafe the streets of Fulham have become.
- Back home, the pair pretended to enjoy Valentine’s Day together and ate crepes from a van. Louise was very excited to have her new burlap sack carpet fitted, and forgot that Leo was supposed to stay at home from nursery. To make the most of this impromptu day with her son, she took him to get her nails done.
- Ryan now has to watch Louise sleep as if in creepy Aerosmith video.
- despite being at death’s door with bleeding from an undisclosed orifice, Louise was able to enjoy a grifted weekend in Suffolk with Ryan, the dogs and Leo. She had phoned ahead to be totally sure that if nearly died a sixth time, she’d be able to be ambulanced to hospital to eat rice crispies.
- Thankfully, she had such a lovely time eating pizza and cake and watching Leo outside in a high chair she forgot about nearly dying. Ryan mostly stayed in the hot tub with Leo looking joyfully on from his chair prison.
- Back in London a couple of drunk men looked into the Ring doorbell, which sent Ryan into a dreadful spin about how unsafe the streets of Fulham have become.
- Back home, the pair pretended to enjoy Valentine’s Day together and ate crepes from a van. Louise was very excited to have her new burlap sack carpet fitted, and forgot that Leo was supposed to stay at home from nursery. To make the most of this impromptu day with her son, she took him to get her nails done.
- Ryan now has to watch Louise sleep as if in creepy Aerosmith video.
The Turtlemethod, an exercise in pointlessness.
"I often think life has become too complicated" - Grrrrryan
I often feel as though I'm watching a parody account created by Armando Iannucci. Poor Grrrryan, the pressures of trying hard not to burn the packet Fajitas is really just too much for his mental capacity... or maybe it is just far to difficult to work out which Disney movie to watch on TV in the mornings... or the infinite complications of how to spend the day farting around, lifting a few weights and actually doing very little (as shown above).
Imagine if they actually had jobs and had to balance working full time, providing childcare, shopping, cleaning their house, and doing repairs - as most people do. Many men would have attempted the DIY carpentry job that Louise has just paid for: It's not difficult at all as the timber merchant will cut everything to size so all you have to do is design and assemble it - my partner has made many of our units, built in wardrobes, etc, all at weekends, when he's not working during the week. Grrrrryan has plenty of time to learn a few, actually useful, things.
So Grrrryan's just learnt that he's a product of his environment and surroundings: His environment being an upmarket townhouse provided by his wealthy girlfriend's family where he doesn't have to work to pay a mortgage and can exist as a loafing, angry Cocklodger, while Tiny Tears passes her uneventful days sorting out drawers, farting around with lighting, and thinking about what to wear with #trauma.
"I think we should focus more of time and energy at doing less" (or maybe focus on improving your written English), but how much less does Grrrryan mean?
Any less and they'd be in a coma (which of course, we all know Tiny Tears would love, as she'd be able to put out daily stories in the DM
).There's a constant reminder at the tap of our thumb (?), which results in comparison and over analysis of our own lives and ourselves.
It's a shame he's too thick to see the wood for the trees.
I’d worry about their future pensions/retirement too? Of course you can be self employed and earn shedloads and pay into a self employed pension, but most of these two’s “income” is gifted things not actual cash. Louise seems to have never done anything and Ryan was doing part time £20 an hour personal training, they can’t have paid into a pension for like 10 years 
I don’t think Ryan bloody Libby is what Thoreau had in mind when he wrote ‘Walden’ …The bleeping irony of his latest post talking about pressures brought by instagram. Whilst showing off daily on Instagram and begging for freebies which he then rubs in people’s faces.
The prick acts like he grafts so hard.
Talking about finding more time to less, some of us have full time jobs and full time kids you square headed prick.
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finding cabins in the woods ha ha ha you mean messaging companies asking for gifted stays or getting freebies from Louise’s friends.
He really is so full of it.
Cooking meals sponsored by Sainsbury’s or El Paso.
Also needs to get over his fire pit obsession, it’s not profound or symbolic to burn items on a fire it’s literally just a fire, something that apparently was causing him trauma or as I believe he called it ptsd a few months ago because of the memory of the terrible house fire
But I do think this is pass-agging Louise again: a simple life versus all the ostentatious nonsense, the LV and Dior bags, the endless ‘I can’t look at my hinges because trauma!’, the eyefucking and 24/7 narcissistic vanity…Likely Louise will never have to think about that, she still has living grandparents even before we get to her parents. She will amass a big inheritance that she’s done nothing to earn.I’d worry about their future pensions/retirement too? Of course you can be self employed and earn shedloads and pay into a self employed pension, but most of these two’s “income” is gifted things not actual cash. Louise seems to have never done anything and Ryan was doing part time £20 an hour personal training, they can’t have paid into a pension for like 10 years
Grrrrryan's probably made a mental note of the Thompson family money and what will eventually pass down to Tiny Tears.I’d worry about their future pensions/retirement too? Of course you can be self employed and earn shedloads and pay into a self employed pension, but most of these two’s “income” is gifted things not actual cash. Louise seems to have never done anything and Ryan was doing part time £20 an hour personal training, they can’t have paid into a pension for like 10 years
If Tiny Tears had any sense she'd kick out the big loafer and take up with clever, Bailey, the Carpenter, who at least would know how to change her hinges!
(I've always found people who do smart things to be insanely attractive).
Next thread title pls!Sidenote, that comment by @witchandchips in the last thread 'Old El Passive Aggressive' absolutely killed me
Louise's latest trigger : her therapist... Oh wait no, she changed her mind, it's actually the seat in the gym.. And Fridays... And approximately 9am. She's like the gift that keeps on giving 
I thought she had a haemorrhage when the carpenter was round. So she was on the seat, at the gym, on the phone to her therapist, in the house with Ryan and the carpenter saw her go off in an ambulance? Okie doke.
I assume she means her seat in the home gym, which she just shared a selfie of her crying on
but yes, Louise had quite the audience apparently... Of course...Ah her own gym! Well even so… yes, it seems that quite a few people bore witness to this tableau! She’d probably do better to just pop an Always pad on next time her monthly course takes her by surprise instead of create all this drama.I assume she means her seat in the home gym, which she just shared a selfie of her crying on
For someone tha haemorrhaged and been through what she has. She does amazing to be doing so much. I had a normal birth 5 months ago, emotions and feelings all over the place, anxious to go out. She just loves sympathy and avoids looking after Leo. As much as I can’t stand Ryan, he must have some patience to deal with her.
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