Congratulations @annabelle_bronstein clear winner - treat yourself to a Dior kagoul, you deserve it 
I'm back with a round up......enjoy and thanks for contributing to the funniest thread here
Her ITS collecshuns go so well they are 50% off within a week
Time travelling cause she’s so famous now, gotta be VVIP status, she’ll be employing security next
Her mum’s employed as a unpaid cleaner/slave, I mean it saves money for more Chunnnelll
ASA finally caught up with her and gave her a public slap for not declaring AD’s, now she is screaming full on walking billboard, nothing gets posted unless there’s a cheque in it
The chinny chin jaw paranoia got so serious she opted for hair, hand, scarf, jumper, Mr Pig to hide all 3 chins of them, then opted for fat removal jollop injecting in cause it was free, doesn’t work and since the filter is still on the flabby flaps are still flapping
Beauty regime consists of changing brands weekly as her favourite/who is paying the most, creating more spots and then using half a bottle of foundation for a “light coverage”
Went to a country retreat as a +1 pretending she was invited with a load of wannabes blowing smoke up her arse, instead of walking around the grounds taking a swim with the other influenzers, she drove the clapped out Bentley up and down the drive. Trying to fit in she wore her new Dior kagoule for a week non stop
Decided no war or humanitarian crisis doesn’t exist ever, but shopping in Chanel does
Went to Rome to flog cheap arse sweatpants looking like a neopolitan ice cream on crack, posting snide remarks of Mr Pig, her ilysm
Back at InTheShite offices they pulled out the stops out and offered her Mr Kipling and battenburgs, they know her worth
Nicole B bint came to stay in London cause they’ve not been to Cecconi’s enough, dressed up like Kevin ‘n’ Perry and necked free wine
Back in Paris for a (cough cough) party wearing stripper feather jammies, odd shoes, walking around like Great Aunt Doris smelling of fags
Time travelling again for a Bridgeton premiere in London, nailed it and fulfilled the brief dressed like a 5 year old
Went to Liz Arden PR event where no one spoke to her except wino squeaky Ree
Went to Amsterdam for 24 hours to pretend she likes a child, go to Hermes and return with nothing but a pretended her flight was cancelled
She seemed to have collected "friends" on her way and promptly dumped them like a Insta story, they get 24 hours and gone forever
Exfoliating still avoids her
Dresses up to watch telly
Car window got smashed, 3rd time, same place.......again
Competitions are so frequent now might as well start subscribing to Quizzers Weekly
.....................she’s in Positano – let the clown outfits commence
I'm back with a round up......enjoy and thanks for contributing to the funniest thread here
Her ITS collecshuns go so well they are 50% off within a week
Time travelling cause she’s so famous now, gotta be VVIP status, she’ll be employing security next
Her mum’s employed as a unpaid cleaner/slave, I mean it saves money for more Chunnnelll
ASA finally caught up with her and gave her a public slap for not declaring AD’s, now she is screaming full on walking billboard, nothing gets posted unless there’s a cheque in it
The chinny chin jaw paranoia got so serious she opted for hair, hand, scarf, jumper, Mr Pig to hide all 3 chins of them, then opted for fat removal jollop injecting in cause it was free, doesn’t work and since the filter is still on the flabby flaps are still flapping
Beauty regime consists of changing brands weekly as her favourite/who is paying the most, creating more spots and then using half a bottle of foundation for a “light coverage”
Went to a country retreat as a +1 pretending she was invited with a load of wannabes blowing smoke up her arse, instead of walking around the grounds taking a swim with the other influenzers, she drove the clapped out Bentley up and down the drive. Trying to fit in she wore her new Dior kagoule for a week non stop
Decided no war or humanitarian crisis doesn’t exist ever, but shopping in Chanel does
Went to Rome to flog cheap arse sweatpants looking like a neopolitan ice cream on crack, posting snide remarks of Mr Pig, her ilysm
Back at InTheShite offices they pulled out the stops out and offered her Mr Kipling and battenburgs, they know her worth
Nicole B bint came to stay in London cause they’ve not been to Cecconi’s enough, dressed up like Kevin ‘n’ Perry and necked free wine
Back in Paris for a (cough cough) party wearing stripper feather jammies, odd shoes, walking around like Great Aunt Doris smelling of fags
Time travelling again for a Bridgeton premiere in London, nailed it and fulfilled the brief dressed like a 5 year old
Went to Liz Arden PR event where no one spoke to her except wino squeaky Ree
Went to Amsterdam for 24 hours to pretend she likes a child, go to Hermes and return with nothing but a pretended her flight was cancelled
She seemed to have collected "friends" on her way and promptly dumped them like a Insta story, they get 24 hours and gone forever
Exfoliating still avoids her
Dresses up to watch telly
Car window got smashed, 3rd time, same place.......again
Competitions are so frequent now might as well start subscribing to Quizzers Weekly
.....................she’s in Positano – let the clown outfits commence
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🫣
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