Well done we have new thread @Littlebirdy you’ve won yourself a nice thick layer of foundation in a colour that is nothing like your skin
So we started the thread on a cocaine fuelled high after new member LongtimeLurker ( LL?) joined the TiTs for 2 nights only claiming to have once been part of The Pig’s luxury friend group.
For a moment the tea seemed boiling hot.. but unsurprisingly … it fell flatter than lorna’s teats.
The Lurker started off strong, confirming that Daddy Pig’s feet are in fact as offensive as ex wife Jasmine claimed. The Lurker also claimed that LL lost her shite prior to the Boo dying and was “ locked up”
There were also claims that LL and bestie Nicole with the dodgy home cut fringe, got marched out of Chiltern firehouse for enjoying some choice pharmaceuticals. How luxe I hear you yell!
Other claims were that Lorna is a witch, above her station, Daddy Pig is quite nice really, and got made redundant over a year ago. Lots of questions were posed to The Lurker. Very few were answered.
Two days of silence. Followed by a predictable return consisting of standard airport pose wearing hat that doesn’t fit and filtered skin to the colour of a fine Jacobean oak table.
Bonus “ secret giveaway” on stories to make the post look like it has high engagement/likes. (“£250 of beauty from me and John” that no one will win, obvs)
We also enjoyed a rude exchange when a TIT dm’d her asking politely to consider the way she talks about gluttony / wealth etc only to be given a nasty passive aggressive reply.
The Pig Duo arrived in Rome with Lorna declaring she wants to spend as much time in Italy as possible as she has a special birthday this year, she’s refusing to say the number maybe it’s mental block but we here to remind her - yes YOUR GOING TO BE 40.
There were a few attempts at leaving the hotel.. which is unusual and a Lorna first.
Anticipated collection was, as usual, shite. All still available. Sparkly tit advertised appallingly by ITS and now less than half price.
Brief interlude of silence, and attempts to make her Mum happen, with a pretend trip to Manchester and 2 photos of said mother, that appear on repeat that were taken in the dark ages.
On her return from Manchester she appeared looking utterly hanging. Possibly a personal best…
Oh she regurgitated crew days a job that she did 11 years ago and sat talking to herself via her Q&A again.
Back to Rome and then down to Ravello where the Pigs are firmly rooted in their garden suite. We are all suffering the narrative that John didn’t know where he was going, and we also managed a “ that was a short marriage” within hours of being there. Her marriage is a short and filtered as she is.
The need for adoration was particularly evident when Queen Baby got up “dead early” to wear an Italian feathery creation on the edge of the the infinity pool at Caruso but seemingly went back to bed for the full day as she appeared later to do some “ skincare” looking absolute horrifying, poor staff. The “accidental” fall in the water was as bad as acting as we’ve ever seen, even AmDram would refuse her entry.
Puffed up face, blotchy skin and generally looking like a late stage alcoholic. Looks like she’s possibly filled way too much but difficult to know really when everything is so filtered.
She announces she’s getting Botox but then she doesn’t know, the doctor pricked her all around her eyes and it wasn’t his dick, so what was it??? Her inability to tell the truth is outstanding but she can certainly give the right info out if she’s shilling a discount code.
Elizabeth Arden invited the uncultured mess to Wimbledon, she flung herself into it full force with chugs of wine and completed her contractural obligations with zero mention of the product but showed us shoving her gob with food and stretching herself thin.
Still talking to herself via the Q&A and now randoms are sniffing her hair. Seriously NATIONAL HEALTH WARNING: NO STOP DO NOT GO NEAR THAT HAIR, who knows what it contains your end up with a new strain of covid
There off to Santorini - give us strength
Carry on……….
So we started the thread on a cocaine fuelled high after new member LongtimeLurker ( LL?) joined the TiTs for 2 nights only claiming to have once been part of The Pig’s luxury friend group.
For a moment the tea seemed boiling hot.. but unsurprisingly … it fell flatter than lorna’s teats.
The Lurker started off strong, confirming that Daddy Pig’s feet are in fact as offensive as ex wife Jasmine claimed. The Lurker also claimed that LL lost her shite prior to the Boo dying and was “ locked up”
There were also claims that LL and bestie Nicole with the dodgy home cut fringe, got marched out of Chiltern firehouse for enjoying some choice pharmaceuticals. How luxe I hear you yell!
Other claims were that Lorna is a witch, above her station, Daddy Pig is quite nice really, and got made redundant over a year ago. Lots of questions were posed to The Lurker. Very few were answered.
Two days of silence. Followed by a predictable return consisting of standard airport pose wearing hat that doesn’t fit and filtered skin to the colour of a fine Jacobean oak table.
Bonus “ secret giveaway” on stories to make the post look like it has high engagement/likes. (“£250 of beauty from me and John” that no one will win, obvs)
We also enjoyed a rude exchange when a TIT dm’d her asking politely to consider the way she talks about gluttony / wealth etc only to be given a nasty passive aggressive reply.
The Pig Duo arrived in Rome with Lorna declaring she wants to spend as much time in Italy as possible as she has a special birthday this year, she’s refusing to say the number maybe it’s mental block but we here to remind her - yes YOUR GOING TO BE 40.
There were a few attempts at leaving the hotel.. which is unusual and a Lorna first.
Anticipated collection was, as usual, shite. All still available. Sparkly tit advertised appallingly by ITS and now less than half price.
Brief interlude of silence, and attempts to make her Mum happen, with a pretend trip to Manchester and 2 photos of said mother, that appear on repeat that were taken in the dark ages.
On her return from Manchester she appeared looking utterly hanging. Possibly a personal best…
Oh she regurgitated crew days a job that she did 11 years ago and sat talking to herself via her Q&A again.
Back to Rome and then down to Ravello where the Pigs are firmly rooted in their garden suite. We are all suffering the narrative that John didn’t know where he was going, and we also managed a “ that was a short marriage” within hours of being there. Her marriage is a short and filtered as she is.
The need for adoration was particularly evident when Queen Baby got up “dead early” to wear an Italian feathery creation on the edge of the the infinity pool at Caruso but seemingly went back to bed for the full day as she appeared later to do some “ skincare” looking absolute horrifying, poor staff. The “accidental” fall in the water was as bad as acting as we’ve ever seen, even AmDram would refuse her entry.
Puffed up face, blotchy skin and generally looking like a late stage alcoholic. Looks like she’s possibly filled way too much but difficult to know really when everything is so filtered.
She announces she’s getting Botox but then she doesn’t know, the doctor pricked her all around her eyes and it wasn’t his dick, so what was it??? Her inability to tell the truth is outstanding but she can certainly give the right info out if she’s shilling a discount code.
Elizabeth Arden invited the uncultured mess to Wimbledon, she flung herself into it full force with chugs of wine and completed her contractural obligations with zero mention of the product but showed us shoving her gob with food and stretching herself thin.
Still talking to herself via the Q&A and now randoms are sniffing her hair. Seriously NATIONAL HEALTH WARNING: NO STOP DO NOT GO NEAR THAT HAIR, who knows what it contains your end up with a new strain of covid
There off to Santorini - give us strength
Carry on……….
