Liz Jones #7 If she's got two faces, why does she wear that horrible one?

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What's wrong with pastry or tempering chocolate?! And spaniels, especially springers, are notoriously hyper. Idiotic woman. She only got the skincare sent to her in return for a shout-out; it's marketing, not kindness.
BIB - our three run round the living room like it was The Wall of Death!
 
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His parents died quite recently and he's quids in. His flat is HA in south London.
I think she’s always had an eye on his HA flat, there’s some amazing London social housing in desirable areas , much nicer than most other parts of the country and would sell for absolute fortunes.
 
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I think she’s always had an eye on his HA flat, there’s some amazing London social housing in desirable areas , much nicer than most other parts of the country and would sell for absolute fortunes.
It's in Cormont Road, Lambeth. Juggo's been after a London address ever since the Mail stopped paying her rent in the Ziggarut. Mind you, wasn't there an attempt to rent in Camden but she was evicted after about five minutes?
 
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It's in Cormont Road, Lambeth. Juggo's been after a London address ever since the Mail stopped paying her rent in the Ziggarut. Mind you, wasn't there an attempt to rent in Camden but she was evicted after about five minutes?
Was that the one that was very clearly unsuitable for pets but she brought along the menagerie? I'm surprised she didn't bring the horses.
 
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Was that the one that was very clearly unsuitable for pets but she brought along the menagerie? I'm surprised she didn't bring the horses.
I remember she hated it there because of lightbulbs or lack thereof and found his ex girlfriend’s now legendary garnier fructis shampoo in the bathroom but I remember thinking back then she’s got her eye on moving in and taking it over with a view to becoming sole or lead tenant by whatever nefarious means necessary
 
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Time to lay your bets ladies and gentlemen
1 is she alone or with a besotted inamorata ?
2 will the besotted inamorata do the dirty on her ?
3 how many appalling habits will be exhibited by BI ?
4 will the Myla thong get an outing ?
5 is everything someone else’s fault ?
Wait, with bated breath, for Saturday when all will be revealed.
 
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Can I blame Ashley Cole?

I mean, it isn't his fault, but she won't take any responsibility for anything and I'm worried about the dogs.
 
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Are we convinced the Shitstack has finally been put out of its misery? Nothing since 21st Nov...
 
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I need help, I’ve just read la Jones column on Mrs Bezos and I nearly agreed with her a couple of times. Could I be going down with the nasty flu that’s going round ?
 
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I need help, I’ve just read la Jones column on Mrs Bezos and I nearly agreed with her a couple of times. Could I be going down with the nasty flu that’s going round ?
Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
Don't worry too much about it unless you also start dyeing your hair coal black and making up salacious stories about your imaginary former lovers - at that point, you'll be beyond help x
 
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I am going to guess that next week she will be moaning about being sacked from the film club.

"How dare the locals enjoy a nice film that stars popular older actors! How dare they disagree with Me! Me! Me! I have superior cultural tastes as I have lived in the city and edited a film experts work. That means I practically a film expert, not just someone who is good at spelling and grammar"

She is literally slagging off normal people who live near her, not naming them but giving enough info to make it possible for locals to identify them. Knowing that this may humiliate them and cause other people in the town to shame them. She is evil sometimes.
 
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Liz writes that the nearest decent cinema is an hours drive away. There’s a good cinema in Richmond, in the converted old station building, about ten miles from where she lives now and only about a mile from where she used to live.
 
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Just buy an acorn collector. Weird item but it works, just push it up and down and empty then repeat. Mine cost £25 delivered. Always employing someone to do the donkey work because she’s so special and important. NOT.
 
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Edited for accuracy
“I’m going to write a novel. I have no agent or publisher*, but it occurred to me: why do I need permission to write? Who else could write a compulsive column lies for a leading newspaper for 25 years?“
*hardly surprising
 
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Liz writes that the nearest decent cinema is an hours drive away. There’s a good cinema in Richmond, in the converted old station building, about ten miles from where she lives now and only about a mile from where she used to live.
But remember, she drives very slowly due to being terrified.
 
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