Hi all
I would appreciate some advice.
My SIL is having a baby shower, organised by her sister (we will call her C) and a friend of her sister. My BIL has one brother (my husband), and her own sister is unmarried, so I am my SIL’s only SIL- if you get me! I also know C and have met her many times.
I was added to the mass WhatsApp group about the date of the shower etc and posted a message tagging C and her friend asking them to let me know what I can do to help. Not a peep from them yet but figured the baby shower is quite a while away so didn’t think anything of it.
I found out today there is a separate WhatsApp group for organising the shower, with my SIL, her mum, my MIL, C and C’s friend in it. I am therefore the only female member of the near family who has not been included in the organisation of the shower despite offering to help.
I’m really quite hurt by this. I have a good relationship with my SIL and our husbands are close brothers. We go out for meals and visit each other’s houses frequently and live locally. Their baby’s only cousin will be my child and they will grow up together as they will be fairly close in age (we talk about this all the time). Their baby will have only two aunties - C and me.
I don’t really like the idea of baby showers but in spite of this I offered to help because I am happy for my SIL and want to help celebrate their baby, and also I felt it was the right thing to do, as her SIL and auntie to her baby.
Something similar happened on the morning of their wedding as my husband was best man, my MIL was invited to get ready with the bridal party in the bridal suite and I was left to get ready on my own in the same hotel and just latch on to someone I knew before the wedding and find someone to travel and sit with. Being excluded from the close family celebrations like this really hurt me at the time as I felt like inviting me along with my MIL would have been such a trivial thing to do, I felt forgotten about despite feeling my SIL and I got on well.
Am I being over sensitive? I feel like some of this comes from C as I feel like she dislikes me, and suspect she probably wants the event to be an event for “their” family rather than the family that was created by my BIL and SILs marriage. Hard to explain this vibe but there’s a lot of reasons I suspect this.
Sorry for the long meandering story but felt the back story was needed. Should I do anything? Or just leave it and feel excluded again? If anything the damage has been done so not sure if I should just let it go but this doesn’t sit well with me as I remember being so hurt on the morning of their wedding.
I would appreciate some advice.
My SIL is having a baby shower, organised by her sister (we will call her C) and a friend of her sister. My BIL has one brother (my husband), and her own sister is unmarried, so I am my SIL’s only SIL- if you get me! I also know C and have met her many times.
I was added to the mass WhatsApp group about the date of the shower etc and posted a message tagging C and her friend asking them to let me know what I can do to help. Not a peep from them yet but figured the baby shower is quite a while away so didn’t think anything of it.
I found out today there is a separate WhatsApp group for organising the shower, with my SIL, her mum, my MIL, C and C’s friend in it. I am therefore the only female member of the near family who has not been included in the organisation of the shower despite offering to help.
I’m really quite hurt by this. I have a good relationship with my SIL and our husbands are close brothers. We go out for meals and visit each other’s houses frequently and live locally. Their baby’s only cousin will be my child and they will grow up together as they will be fairly close in age (we talk about this all the time). Their baby will have only two aunties - C and me.
I don’t really like the idea of baby showers but in spite of this I offered to help because I am happy for my SIL and want to help celebrate their baby, and also I felt it was the right thing to do, as her SIL and auntie to her baby.
Something similar happened on the morning of their wedding as my husband was best man, my MIL was invited to get ready with the bridal party in the bridal suite and I was left to get ready on my own in the same hotel and just latch on to someone I knew before the wedding and find someone to travel and sit with. Being excluded from the close family celebrations like this really hurt me at the time as I felt like inviting me along with my MIL would have been such a trivial thing to do, I felt forgotten about despite feeling my SIL and I got on well.
Am I being over sensitive? I feel like some of this comes from C as I feel like she dislikes me, and suspect she probably wants the event to be an event for “their” family rather than the family that was created by my BIL and SILs marriage. Hard to explain this vibe but there’s a lot of reasons I suspect this.
Sorry for the long meandering story but felt the back story was needed. Should I do anything? Or just leave it and feel excluded again? If anything the damage has been done so not sure if I should just let it go but this doesn’t sit well with me as I remember being so hurt on the morning of their wedding.