Learning to drive #2

[Sallyspal]

I haven’t been able to find another test after my fail last month and my theory runs out in October. Not entirely sure I can be bothered to keep going.

come on stick with it!! Maybe you’ll pass the next!! It’s sooo disheartening but we got to keep going! I bet you’ll get a cancellation.. get on the cancellation apps… I feel like giving up myself after 3 fails so trying to encourage anyone who feels the same

 

[gossipgal21]

Honestly if you give up now I am sure you will regret it, you are so close now! I used an app (I think it was speedy tests) to get a cancellation as I had to try and do my test before my theory expired this month.

I stopped and started with lessons so many times and I wish I hadn’t. Just keep going, next time might be the one!

 

[nightfeedz]

Posting here for the first time in about a year as I had a long break from lessons and had to redo my theory etc.

I have my third test coming up in a few weeks, first in years. I had a good lesson today with minimal input from my instructor, a lot has finally clicked and he says he knows I can drive, I just need to believe it myself.

This all sounds very good but I still have huge anxiety every time I drive and feel like a lot still goes over my head. I have to force myself out the door every time.

Really focusing on being on the other side of this anxiety and being free and independent and taking my kids on fun adventures! Even the school run and Tescos will be a dream come true for me in all seriousness!

 

[candyland_]

come on stick with it!! Maybe you’ll pass the next!! It’s sooo disheartening but we got to keep going! I bet you’ll get a cancellation.. get on the cancellation apps… I feel like giving up myself after 3 fails so trying to encourage anyone who feels the same

Aww thank you for the encouragement. My instructor isn’t letting me give up and I have a car sat on my drive waiting for me. 4th time lucky I hope

 

[Sallyspal]

My test is coming up next week.. 4th time lucky for me too… I know I can drive but my nerves seem to get the better of me before the test

 

[CupofMintTea]

De-lurking to say hi to you all, and good luck to everyone with a test coming up. I've been learning to drive for three years. The pandemic slowed things down, but driving has not come naturally to me. So many things posters have said about their nerves and anxiety have rung true with me. I used to feel sick with fear before every lesson and deep down I was convinced I just couldn't drive.

I had to take another break from driving at the start of the year when I had my daughter. I found these threads, and I read every post (had a lot of time to kill during night feeds!) It made me realise anyone can learn to drive, even if you have really bad anxiety.

I'm back behind the wheel now, and took my first driving test on Monday. Unfortunately I failed (one major, five minors) but the whole experience has given me a little confidence boost. The examiner was so encouraging and said he wanted to see me back taking my test again soon. And now I'm feeling positive about my next test. I honestly never thought I'd ever get to this point.

I just wanted to thank everyone who's posted here about feeling the fear and doing it anyway. I can't say how much you've all helped me feel like I can drive a car!

 

[Lollypad]

My original test was July - my instructor made the call that I wasn't ready so swapped my test with another one of his students to Thursday and I passed first time.
My lesson before was horrendous I entirely forgot how to reverse into a parking space, so we went out the following night AGAIN with my instructor and we got it back to being better but I knew I would have to straighten up if I got that manoeuvre on my test. My lesson (40 minutes) before my test was ok but I had to do a REAL emergency stop as a lady pulled out straight in front of me.
I know that I perform ok under pressure, its more the nerves in the lead up that make me crazy. I did some relaxation with a NLP practitioner the night before, listened to 5 minute learning to drive podcasts (crammed these in in the 24 - 48 hours before) about driving tests and then watched some of the DGN driving school pass test videos on YouTube and happy to say I passed my test, first time, with 3 minors.

My manouevre was pulling into a car parking space, I got 5 pull up and drive away at the side of the road + a hill start on a releatively flat road but he asked me to demonstrate 0 roll back which I did.
1st minor - 40mph on a 60mph roundabout (in my defence this was from a stopped start) - he said not saying do 60mph but speed could of been up
2nd minor - one blind spot check missed
3rd minor - crossing dual carriageway to turn right - there was car, gap, car, gap he said I could of went but that I made the right call as If i had went and stalled I would of failed for a major (i didn't stall in the end but that was my fear!)

Congratulations! Confused about your first minor though (not quibbling just curious!) - my instructor told me 3rd or below for roundabouts, how on Earth are you supposed to do 60mph on a roundabout?!

 

[nightfeedz]

De-lurking to say hi to you all, and good luck to everyone with a test coming up. I've been learning to drive for three years. The pandemic slowed things down, but driving has not come naturally to me. So many things posters have said about their nerves and anxiety have rung true with me. I used to feel sick with fear before every lesson and deep down I was convinced I just couldn't drive.

I had to take another break from driving at the start of the year when I had my daughter. I found these threads, and I read every post (had a lot of time to kill during night feeds!) It made me realise anyone can learn to drive, even if you have really bad anxiety.

I'm back behind the wheel now, and took my first driving test on Monday. Unfortunately I failed (one major, five minors) but the whole experience has given me a little confidence boost. The examiner was so encouraging and said he wanted to see me back taking my test again soon. And now I'm feeling positive about my next test. I honestly never thought I'd ever get to this point.

I just wanted to thank everyone who's posted here about feeling the fear and doing it anyway. I can't say how much you've all helped me feel like I can drive a car!

This is brilliant, sounds like it is just around the corner for you. Well done on working so hard towards your goal

 

[Charlene78]

I'm so glad I found this thread

I'd like to share my experience so far and would love your feedback

I've always avoided learning to drive because I was too scared of it. When I was 16, my mother wanted to teach me to drive and I refused, pretending I wasn't interested, but I was just scared. Here in France it's normal for everyone to have their licence, it's actually weird if you don't have one (even if you don't drive a car). It was starting to be a problem for my job searching (I was let go of my job because of covid). Important note : I am a very anxious person

So, at 26, I decided to force myself and started with the theory (after a year thinking about it because I was too scared lol) : here you need to pass a written test with questions and situations (with pictures and videos) and you can only do 5 mistakes max to pass (out of 40 questions). I missed the first exam with 6 mistakes, went back the next day and passed with 5 mistakes, fiou.

Then I found a driving school. Before going in for my first hour, I had to stop in front of the building and cry because of all the built up stress. The teacher spent 30 minutes explaining me things that I barely understood because of how stressed out I was, then when it was time for me to "drive" (you only get the wheel at first), I got teary eyes while trying to explain to the teacher that I was terribly scared of driving.

I ended up with 40 hours of lessons between May and October (minimum required here is 20 hours). It wasn't easy, but I got more comfortable as time went on, though I was still very scared and anxious. After those 40 hours I went for "accompanied driving" (I don't know how to translate, I was driving with my husband in the car). Problem is I was terrified of driving with no one having the pedals in case I'd duck up, so we ended up not driving for like 3 months... and then I was too scared to drive again. We were supposed to drive everyday, by the way.

Since around April, I've been trying to force myself to drive to the grocery store and such once or twice per week but everytime I have to drive I get extremely scared beforehand. I've been with that "accompanied driving" since November and I have barely driven the car, to be honest.
We were supposed to drive on the fast lane, but didn't.
We were supposed to train parking, but we didn't.
We were supposed to drive super often to make me confortable, we didn't.
We were supposed to go to the exam's course, but we didn't (there's like an area in the city where the exam happens but it's not an actual set path).

I try to find excuses not to drive because I get scared (I can spend 3 weeks without driving and of course then the stress is worse...). I get this overwhelming stress before driving, it's actually worse BEFORE driving than it is when I am driving. I don't faint or have panic attacks or cry, it's only inside stress building up.

My teacher tried to contact me twice since April and I had to tell her I wasn't ready yet...
In the end, I don't feel any more confident than I did when I left the school in November. I think I actually feel worse.

I forced myself and got a set date for the exam, it's at the end of September, and I booked a couple driving lessons (fake exams) with my teacher for September. It's in a week and I'm freaking out. I know she's gonna be disappointed in my level and I'm scared to drive with her again.

I know that I'm not ready. I feel like I've forgotten some of the theory, I don't know what to do in some situations, I still get "dumb" when something stressful happens (an example from just a few days ago : I was driving and there was a stopped bus and I didn't know if I was supposed to overtake it and I stayed behind the bus, and 30sc after that happened, my husband told me three times that we were gonna go left and I was hearing "right" in my head and went right....).

I know why I'm scared to drive : I have very low self confidence and I'm scared I'm going to duck up and have an accident or do something wrong. That's also why I'm super not confident for the exam, I feel like I'm definitely going to mess up. I also know how much responsibility driving is and I usually avoid responsibility in my day to day life because I get too stressed out, again, all coming from my lack of confidence.

I think I'm gonna go to the pharmacy tomorrow and ask if they have anything for stress, even if it's placebo tit, I don't care anymore. I feel like I need something to help me a little because this is too stressful.

Anyway, thank you for coming to my TED talk

 

[Thank(space)you]

I'm so glad I found this thread

I'd like to share my experience so far and would love your feedback

I've always avoided learning to drive because I was too scared of it. When I was 16, my mother wanted to teach me to drive and I refused, pretending I wasn't interested, but I was just scared. Here in France it's normal for everyone to have their licence, it's actually weird if you don't have one (even if you don't drive a car). It was starting to be a problem for my job searching (I was let go of my job because of covid). Important note : I am a very anxious person

So, at 26, I decided to force myself and started with the theory (after a year thinking about it because I was too scared lol) : here you need to pass a written test with questions and situations (with pictures and videos) and you can only do 5 mistakes max to pass (out of 40 questions). I missed the first exam with 6 mistakes, went back the next day and passed with 5 mistakes, fiou.

Then I found a driving school. Before going in for my first hour, I had to stop in front of the building and cry because of all the built up stress. The teacher spent 30 minutes explaining me things that I barely understood because of how stressed out I was, then when it was time for me to "drive" (you only get the wheel at first), I got teary eyes while trying to explain to the teacher that I was terribly scared of driving.

I ended up with 40 hours of lessons between May and October (minimum required here is 20 hours). It wasn't easy, but I got more comfortable as time went on, though I was still very scared and anxious. After those 40 hours I went for "accompanied driving" (I don't know how to translate, I was driving with my husband in the car). Problem is I was terrified of driving with no one having the pedals in case I'd duck up, so we ended up not driving for like 3 months... and then I was too scared to drive again. We were supposed to drive everyday, by the way.

Since around April, I've been trying to force myself to drive to the grocery store and such once or twice per week but everytime I have to drive I get extremely scared beforehand. I've been with that "accompanied driving" since November and I have barely driven the car, to be honest.
We were supposed to drive on the fast lane, but didn't.
We were supposed to train parking, but we didn't.
We were supposed to drive super often to make me confortable, we didn't.
We were supposed to go to the exam's course, but we didn't (there's like an area in the city where the exam happens but it's not an actual set path).

I try to find excuses not to drive because I get scared (I can spend 3 weeks without driving and of course then the stress is worse...). I get this overwhelming stress before driving, it's actually worse BEFORE driving than it is when I am driving. I don't faint or have panic attacks or cry, it's only inside stress building up.

My teacher tried to contact me twice since April and I had to tell her I wasn't ready yet...
In the end, I don't feel any more confident than I did when I left the school in November. I think I actually feel worse.

I forced myself and got a set date for the exam, it's at the end of September, and I booked a couple driving lessons (fake exams) with my teacher for September. It's in a week and I'm freaking out. I know she's gonna be disappointed in my level and I'm scared to drive with her again.

I know that I'm not ready. I feel like I've forgotten some of the theory, I don't know what to do in some situations, I still get "dumb" when something stressful happens (an example from just a few days ago : I was driving and there was a stopped bus and I didn't know if I was supposed to overtake it and I stayed behind the bus, and 30sc after that happened, my husband told me three times that we were gonna go left and I was hearing "right" in my head and went right....).

I know why I'm scared to drive : I have very low self confidence and I'm scared I'm going to duck up and have an accident or do something wrong. That's also why I'm super not confident for the exam, I feel like I'm definitely going to mess up. I also know how much responsibility driving is and I usually avoid responsibility in my day to day life because I get too stressed out, again, all coming from my lack of confidence.

I think I'm gonna go to the pharmacy tomorrow and ask if they have anything for stress, even if it's placebo tit, I don't care anymore. I feel like I need something to help me a little because this is too stressful.

Anyway, thank you for coming to my TED talk

Driving anxiety is very common and something a lot of us experience. I used to spend some lessons crying and not doing any driving, I'd cancel my lessons, I'd be shaking. I hate it.
I'd definitely look into a medication, pharamecutical or herbal, to help. Also, watch driving videos on YouTube, do guided driving meditation (at home, not whilst driving!) Tell your instructor how you're feeling. Visualise being a good driver. Repeat to yourself "I am a calm, competent driver"

You will get there


I passed my test nearly a year ago and I still don't like driving someone cut me up yesterday and almost caused me to crash. I've had my car break down before. I get scared driving to new places. I still have to tell people to be quiet and let me concentrate. But my confidence is still improving compared to when I first passed.

 

[cuttle90]

Congratulations! Confused about your first minor though (not quibbling just curious!) - my instructor told me 3rd or below for roundabouts, how on Earth are you supposed to do 60mph on a roundabout?!

Thank you! He said he wasn't suggesting do 60mph but a bit faster, I was a bit perplexed about it too. Its a roundabout of a dual carriageway with two lanes around it, bit I had had to stop at the top of the slip road so

 

[Lollypad]

Thank you! He said he wasn't suggesting do 60mph but a bit faster, I was a bit perplexed about it too. Its a roundabout of a dual carriageway with two lanes around it, bit I had had to stop at the top of the slip road so

Ah right sorry I misread that. Still, as long as your “making progress” and not getting in anyone’s way I never thought speed on a roundabout was the priority

 

[Dancing Dave]

Well, I changed instructors! I also switched to automatic and it was the best decision ever. I feel so much more comfortable and I actually bought a car this summer! Still learning and doing my lessons but I'm going out in between lessons for more practice and I've really taken to it...finally! I'm not pressuring myself anymore and taking it fairly handy but super handy to be finally sticking to it.

I love reading through this thread and checking up on how people have got on - I'm a late learner and absolutely understand the anxiety but also the lack of motivation to do it. We will ALL get there in our own time

 

[Sam1992]

Had anyone ever got hypnotism for driving test ?,done test 4 times and nerves get me every time,was tempting to get medication for ot but didnt want to make me drowsy,tried rescue remedyl Didnt work

 

[Thank(space)you]

Had anyone ever got hypnotism for driving test ?,done test 4 times and nerves get me every time,was tempting to get medication for ot but didnt want to make me drowsy,tried rescue remedyl Didnt work

I've not done hypnosis but I have done visualisation and meditation for passing my test

 

[Dancing Dave]

Have another lesson shortly and just killing time. More nervous than I have been as I believe today we’re doing roundabouts and it’s right around secondary schools letting out also the weather is abysmal! Full of nerves for some reason Wish I could just do a few laps of my local area instead!

 

[Thank(space)you]

Have another lesson shortly and just killing time. More nervous than I have been as I believe today we’re doing roundabouts and it’s right around secondary schools letting out also the weather is abysmal! Full of nerves for some reason Wish I could just do a few laps of my local area instead!

How did it go?

 

[Dancing Dave]

How did it go?

Perfect Did so many different types of roundabouts. He said he’d cancelled a few lessons over the weather but didn’t with me as he knew I’d be week able so that was a boost! Already halfway through my EDT lessons! Feeling so confident again. And I Managed through the busy junctions (stop starts) near my house!

Going out tomorrow morning with a family friend to practice. All that worry for nothing. I will say automatic is so much fun up and down a hill!

 

[GlitteryKitten]

Had anyone ever got hypnotism for driving test ?,done test 4 times and nerves get me every time,was tempting to get medication for ot but didnt want to make me drowsy,tried rescue remedyl Didnt work

I have my (5th lol) test is in a couple of weeks, so let's see if it worked!!

 

[elloelloello]

Perfect Did so many different types of roundabouts. He said he’d cancelled a few lessons over the weather but didn’t with me as he knew I’d be week able so that was a boost! Already halfway through my EDT lessons! Feeling so confident again. And I Managed through the busy junctions (stop starts) near my house!

Going out tomorrow morning with a family friend to practice. All that worry for nothing. I will say automatic is so much fun up and down a hill!

I passed my test almost a year ago and like- I switched to automatic and it was the best decision ever. So much easier and less things to worry about. Good luck with your lessons and test!