Lauren Goodger #91 Skip diver, work skiver, low IQ, awful shoes, face botcher, Mark Wright watcher

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Well another slow moving thread with not much happening Scrunchies. My new title but by default, no one else could muster the energy to think of one 😂 It did end with Photoshops daughter, diet? She oughta! This wouldn’t fit in the word limit but references the fact she has started photoshopping her 2 year old daughter, something I find utterly abhorrent.

We’re all waiting to see if her return to TOWIE will be a reality. She’s been very low key for several weeks although this could be because she ate too much at Christmas and hasn’t been able to get off her sofa…

She had an ugly Christmas tree that only got up once she roped in a friend to decorate it. She wrapped Larose’s presents in brown paper. She’s started more new health kicks (exercise bike, juicer, yet another meal prep company) but of course they’ve been mentioned once and then disappeared.

She got caught in the wild and decided to cover herself with a pink jumper. Now there is speculation that she might be pregnant again, as she’s been spending more time with Tik Tok Charlie ahead of his upcoming trial for ABH and coercive and controlling behaviour towards her.

Chaz.5’s pre-trial hearing is on 12th February at Snaresbrook Crown Court. Then I imagine if he doesn’t change is plea it will go ahead to the 5-day trial starting on March 18th.

So this thread may reveal what was meant in the charges by “he made her fold bags and watched her do so”…

And finally a big thank you to our resident artist @Pom Bear for their artwork!
 
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God help LaBristow if this thick, illiterate bleep thinks she's going to homeschool her!

 
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This poor child's life is as good as over with what she was dealt as parents.
Not a brain cell between them, a pair of low life grifters, one a coke user and the other a land whale, neither done a days work in their wasted lives and now going to repeat it all with their daughter.
 
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Well another slow moving thread with not much happening Scrunchies. My new title but by default, no one else could muster the energy to think of one 😂 It did end with Photoshops daughter, diet? She oughta! This wouldn’t fit in the word limit but references the fact she has started photoshopping her 2 year old daughter, something I find utterly abhorrent.

We’re all waiting to see if her return to TOWIE will be a reality. She’s been very low key for several weeks although this could be because she ate too much at Christmas and hasn’t been able to get off her sofa…

She had an ugly Christmas tree that only got up once she roped in a friend to decorate it. She wrapped Larose’s presents in brown paper. She’s started more new health kicks (exercise bike, juicer, yet another meal prep company) but of course they’ve been mentioned once and then disappeared.

She got caught in the wild and decided to cover herself with a pink jumper. Now there is speculation that she might be pregnant again, as she’s been spending more time with Tik Tok Charlie ahead of his upcoming trial for ABH and coercive and controlling behaviour towards her.

Chaz.5’s pre-trial hearing is on 12th February at Snaresbrook Crown Court. Then I imagine if he doesn’t change is plea it will go ahead to the 5-day trial starting on March 18th.

So this thread may reveal what was meant in the charges by “he made her fold bags and watched her do so”…

And finally a big thank you to our resident artist @Pom Bear for their artwork!
Thank you very much 😊😃👍😙🥰❤💖💗💕💖❤🤗😘 xxxx.

Imagine how Loz would cope with triplets...imagine 3 LaBristows 😄😄😄 x...

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What’s she going to teach the poor kid! How to blag free takeaways and be a useless influencer or how to photoshop your body beyond recognition and pack up crusty knickers for your pervy fans! Also how to pose all seductively in highly flammable nightwear and bedding whilst pleasuring yourself with a rose clit sucka!
All very useful lessons in life! I’m sure she’ll go far!
 
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Lauren is so maladjusted and lonely she’s going to deprive LaRose of friends her own age and continue to smother her.
 
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I’ve just had a dream that I worked in an aircraft engineering team with none other than our BYG. Chaz was also there as an engineer. Maybe I’ve just had a premonition! Maybe that’s why she’s been so quiet, she’s going through training! I think it’s a viable answer. Thank me later.
 
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I’m homeschooling my daughter, she doesn’t have the passion, dedication or frankly brains for even a primary school education. It’s not about sitting at home doing sums it takes a huge amount of work to ensure social time as well as learning. I bet she ‘unschools’ so basically doesn’t plan or do any learning work with larose at all meaning she gets so far behind if she ever wants to go to school she will be screwed. We follow the curriculum so if my daughter ever wants to go to school she’s at the same level.
 
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The poor kid will prob have very limited contact to other kids staying with fatso all the time. She’ll have terrible social skills.
 
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I’ve just had a dream that I worked in an aircraft engineering team with none other than our BYG. Chaz was also there as an engineer. Maybe I’ve just had a premonition! Maybe that’s why she’s been so quiet, she’s going through training! I think it’s a viable answer. Thank me later.


To be fair, her arse is the size of a small aircraft so you're not far off.
 
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Let’s all be hopeful our bewful skinny BYG is going to the d-bloc concert tonight with .5 and gets drunk and is wearing clothing that’s not appropriate for her size and she spends the night face bleeping herself in pics posted online.
 
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Posted on the old Lozza account that .5 took over. I wonder if the Beast went with him?

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What an absolute bleep! 🤡

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Look at the pic of that twit in front of the stafe (albeit about a mile away from it) thinking he’s a gangsta.

Maybe I’m old but the music sounds tit. It’s literally that tinny music you hear 12 year olds playing on loudspeaker on their phones on the bus, thinking they‘re cool.
 
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I'm getting withdrawal symptoms from BYG's ridiculousness. Where is she? Come on Lozza, show yourself. Some of us have speculated that she may actually be going on TOWIE. Some of us have speculated that she may be pregnant. What if its BOTH and she's going to do one episode of TOWIE where she will announce another .5 pregnancy?

At least we have the upcoming trial of .5 to look forward to.
 
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