Lauren Goodger #60 Lozza The Hutt flogging a cheap hairdryer, Laorse’s diet comes from the deep fat fryer

[minamoon]

Can't wait for the "we're back 2getha & strongerer then everr!!" magazine covers. I think I saw one in the store earlier today...

 

[minamoon]

Ooh a thread title win! I'm honoured, truly! Here's a little commemorative artwork in celebration.

 

[Blowup80]

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Her writing on this is awful. It makes my head hurt reading it.

Show them the world? What your living room, a carpark and a Toby Carvery?

 

[TrollLolLol]

Ooh BYG isn’t gonna be happy! New mag have published a pic of her real face on the front page! Wonder who she’s pissed off there

 

[WordSalad]

That’s right, wash it down with a pure sugar drink. Honestly, doesn’t have two brain cells to rub together

What you got from your contract wiv Big Gel eh Chas? One, soon to be two, kids you'll have to pay for, for the next 18 years. Wot happened to the celeb lifestyle you woz promised? The fancy restaurants, A list nightclubs, exotic holidays. Chubster never had them before you and her dreams of a marketable family didn't happen because she was too lazy to put in the effort. What a shame.

Can we please add "floppy face, floppy fanny" to next thread title

#Lauren Goodger 61
Floppy face, floppy fanny, where the heck is Crack Granny?

 

[CrazyBaldhead]

Uncanny!

 

[Pom Bear]

That feet photo is one of the worst she has done. Some poor fucker had to not only touch her trotters but look up at the fucking rest of her at the same time. Must of been bloody terrifying. Bet she was eating at the same time.

@Pom Bear can we have her sat on the bed surrounded by takeaway boxes and food wrappers please

Loooool I think I got carried away with the amount of food she eats xx

 

[geordiegirl]

Thanks to @minamoon for the new thread title! Had to shorten it a bit to make it fit

Prev thread here:

Lauren Goodger #59 Come on Lozza get out of bed, must be at least 40 minutes since you were all last fed

Thanks to @Blowup80 for the new thread title! Prev thread here: https://tattle.life/threads/lauren-goodger-58-she-a-lump-he-a-tool-poor-lahorse-freezing-in-the-pool.29521/ Roundup: We were treated to the sight of Lozza the Hut and Chaz in a mag photo shoot with BYG in a large hospital gown...

tattle.life

We are eagerly awaiting LaBored Mark II when she slides out of BYG in the stable annexe in Jultember at some point

Lozza was trying to flog a wedding dress six sizes too small for her

She then when onto promote a cheap hairdryer knock off Dyson thing from China where the reviews are about as good as Lozz the Hutts cooking skills

Another drop of bikini and lingerie shots from a shoot a while ago with the weird alien like belly button

Could be trouble in paradise with our BYG and Chaz as he’s hitting the gym and having a salad and posting stupid quotes

BYG begged for someone to come and clean her Lazy Spa/paddling pool and blamed poor setup for it not being clean…

Oh and she’s tired and the first person to be pregnant ya’no

Some of our @Pom Bear creations from the last thread ref our BYG trying to flog a wedding dress and promoting a cheap hairdryer from China

As you were Scrunchies!

 

[Crowbag]

Love unconditionally, by shoving you in a plastic contraption on top of the kitchen worktop.
Covering you with duvets and pillows.
Shoving you in front of the telly.
Broadcasting your every bowel movement.
'Boob feeding' you - from the elbow and arm pit.
Showing your naked body to anyone online.
Weaning you on pies and curry when you telepathically say you're ready (around 7 weeks old).
Constantly moaning that you make your 'mumma' tired.
Giving you an online persona with a sexualised screen name.

Etc etc.
Betcha can't wait, new baby.
Just wait til you see what your mother has achieved with your sister.....

 

[minamoon]

How I imagine the birth of La'Laulie...

 

[Pom Bear]

Yes, this was from her first pregnancy and she had another 6 weeks to go after this point! Here is a link to the original article:

Pregnant Lauren Goodger displays her growing baby bump in Essex

The pregnant former TOWIE star, 34, looked summery in a nude long-sleeved crop top as she shared a sweet kiss with her partner, 23.

www.dailymail.co.uk

Seems like only yesterday xx.

 

[Blowup80]

Shaking all over? Who is she? Fucking Elvis?

 

[MrAllSeeingEye]

“Literally can’t not sleep”

Fucking hell I wish these thick cunts would stop breeding.

 

[minamoon]

Don't worry, Scrunchies! I found the real version!!

 

[Clickbait]

She’d recommend anything if there was something in it for her - including Cyanide. What does she mean by full time mum? All mums are full time because you don’t stop being a mum as soon as they’re out of your sight. If she means stay-at-home mums, no disrespect to them, but I’d wager they have more, not less time to be cleaning prams not least because they’re more likely to spot the jobs that need to be done.

As many have said, no one should be slovenly enough not to try and tackle stains on a pram or car seat as they happen but as the pram is #gifted along with the baby clothes she doesn’t care. She has no concept of working hard to save up and buy these things, nor the need to look after them because she can’t afford to replace them.

Instead her bloated paws just tap into a screen some illiterate nonsense and another freebie appears. Her appreciation for the gifts is minimal to non-existent, her promotion of them is half-arsed to completely fucking useless. And as I’ve said before, I will actively avoid any company that sends her anything for free and for many of these things as a mum-to-be I am their target audience.

I wish more companies would wise up to how little they’ll get from any collaboration or promotion from her. Sadly it’s most likely the smallest companies who can least afford it because the others will be paying actual celebrities and influencers to advertise.

 

[Pisspotshow]

Does this woman do anything but fucking MOAN? Seriously!

View attachment 1307077

Right Lozza you great fat lazy cunt.
One here gave birth to an healthy child at the grand old age of 41, worked right up to 8 months doing night shifts in an hospital whilst being a mother to 2 older children.
Very often had less than 5 hours sleep and still did housework, cooking, cleaning and was active in politics.
Went back to work arranging shifts around the OH and still managed to bring up a normal child who are well, went through teething and all the normal things that a baby does.
AND NEVER ONCE MOANED.
Get over yourself you bone idle, self indulgent, entitled cow!
Nobody owes you a living because you once were "famous".

 

[lamaitresse]

That's not many followers at all. Thats why she hasn't posted yet as she knows It will never take off

I think Lauren looks for get-rich-quick schemes and continually vastly over-estimates how popular she is. She probably thought the Youtube channel would have thousands of followers within a few weeks and everyone would be waiting with baited breath (if you were naive and thought Instagram was an indicator of popularity, you'd expect Subscriber numbers to be 10, 20 times more).

It's a really shallow, sad lifestyle. Lauren would be better directing her time and energy towards something more useful rather than diminishing returns. It appears (from reading on here, at least) that she's even given up on her OnlyFans account - though you'd have to be incredibly stupid to think the digitally altered avatar is Lauren Goodger, anyway.

Maybe seeing how other TOWIE members are faring makes her not want to give it all up (arrogance, jealousy or delusion, who knows) and she thinks she can milk more out of the z-list life.

She's not very bright, she's not an aspirational person, and she doesn't really have anything to sell as far as talent or personality goes. Worse, she doesn't have the determination and grit to stick at something and really find out what shes's good at. It sucks but she's had her time. You can only spend so long being notorious or famous for being famous, others then come along.

Lauren also has that awful aura of entitlement about her that so many Insta-begs have, and it makes her deeply unlikeable and un-relatable as a person. She's never grateful or shows generosity of spirit, she always sounds fucking bored with life, as if she thinks she deserves more.

Hopefully Gemma Collins' sell-by date will be up soon, I can't stand her either.

 

[Pisspotshow]

The song!!

No emotion on my face, yeah, I still feel the pain,
I just got used to it

Either, they are on a massive wind up or this boy wants out. I wouldn't put it past her to have reposted those pics, he removed from his insta. I wouldn't be surprised at either being true.

Just who does this pillock think he is, some kind of star?
Ffs his claim to fame is shagging 2 of the roughest slappers on the planet, giving the fattest of the 2, 2 kids, plus a ronseall painted wanabee.
Oh and he wanks in sinks and fingers his own bumhole for pennies.
If this is the future of the human race, then let off the nukes now because we're fucked.

 

[Badger_cough]

Scrunchies you incredible lot! I've been a on this thread for ages and it has me crying with laughter, some proper funny fuckers on here I can't remain quiet any longer I want to play! Been low key calling my mates bewful for a while now they have no idea what's going on but it just rolls off the tongue
So glad this thread exists LG has always been massive guilty pleasure of mine, remember when she went to A&E with a hangover??!!!! I was all kinds of horrified. But this business with Lasoontobereplaced is just downright concerning keep up the good work you bewful lot! It's a refreshing place to be!

 

[CrazyBaldhead]

Welcome!!! I guess seeing the bad pics of that poor child pushed ya over the edge and made you create a account .

Been reading numerous threads for a while. Can't stay silent anymore. I am so disgusted. Am on numerous threads but now commenting. This thread is funny as fuck and sad at the same time. I can remember seeing that bloated cunt in Faces in Gants Hill and around Brentwood years ago. Off her nut on charlie. Always rude to people. Ugly soul. I live in the US now but still love to relate to my roots! Jah Love! You guys are great and so intelligent! Love to you all.