The model has lost five dogs, a horse and a chameleon, prompting a petition to Peta and the RSPCA. Will her ‘inside out’ cat stay the course?
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Katie Price
And so, once more, The Times
— founded in 1785 and reporting through the Crimean War, universal suffrage, the Blitz, the moonshot and the fall of the Berlin Wall — turns its mighty investigative guns on the big issue of 2024: Katie Price and her Pet Problems.
Celebrity Watch has, over the years, chronicled Price’s long-rumbling misfortunes with adorable livestock. The problem in a nutshell? A lotof animals have died on Price’s watch. Of course, statistically, everyone is likely to have
one misadventure with a pet — show me someone who did not, at some point in the Seventies or Eighties, allow “general mucking about” to culminate in Nanna’s budgie flying out the front door, never to return, and I’ll show you someone so unimaginative they never pretended a budgie was Long John Silver’s parrot. A sadly limited way to live, whatever the ultimate cost, budgie-wise.
Price’s Pet Problems, however, are way beyond Joey winging it towards Telford and Nanna stoically putting the cuttlefish in the loft. At the time of writing Price has now had sevenunfortunate pets perish in her care: five dogs, a horse and a chameleon.
The problem has become so acute that last week the animal rights organisation Peta offered Price £5,000 if she promised never to buy another pet. Its vice-president of programmes and operations, Elisa Allen, addressed Price directly: “While your intentions may be good … the fact is that you are consistently harming these sensitive, sentient individuals, and I hope you agree that this is a solution.”
Peta’s offer is backed up by a petition, signed by 36,000 people, asking Price to refrain from being in charge of anything more evolutionarily advanced than fruit flies, clothes moths or, at a push, mice.
Well, it seems the petition has been ignored and Peta’s offer has been refused because this week Price introduced the world to her latest pet, a sphynx kitten. “Cuddles,” Price captioned an Instagram shot of the kitten, resting in her arms.
For those who have not seen this breed of cat before — one that is alarmingly hairless — the first comment on Instagram is likely to capture their initial impression.
“Why is it inside out?” one of Price’s followers asked, with perfect and accurate unease.
A further shot showed the furless, wrinkled kitten — which looks, to all intents and purposes, like an internal organ — sitting on Price’s computer keyboard. Whether the cat was, at the time, attempting to use the keyboard to contact Peta (writing “Plz help. am scared. keep finding empty collars in bin”) can be neither confirmed nor denied. But one thing is statistically quite likely: this cat’s life will not end well.
Price’s main problem re: pets dying? The A24. It runs close to her house — the infamous “Mucky Mansion” in Sussex — but not as close as her pets run to the A24. So far, three of the deceased dogs have met their end there after escaping from the house. The horse also died after being hit by a car, while the chameleon kept things varied and apparently died “of a broken heart”.
Those of you with a more practical bent will be thinking, “Fence. You could buy a fence. Why haven’t you put up a big fence? This would cut your pet death rate by up to 70 per cent.”
According to tabloid reports, Price should have the funds for such an undertaking. By their exhaustive itemisation, since 1998 she has had: sixteen breast operations, three face lifts, a brow lift, two “bum lifts”, liposuction, two sets of enamel veneers on her teeth, plus countless rounds of lip fillers. The total cost is estimated to be about £500,000. So simply by forgoing a new arse Price could have put a fence around Mucky Mansion —
and brought about instant savings. Constantly having to pop down to Waitrose for a new horse can put pressure on household bills. And that’s before we get into how much a horse funeral might cost, if you want to give flat Dobbin a good send-off.
The unnamed sphynx kitten, meanwhile, is estimated to have cost £1,200. Presumably you have to pay extra for fur. Acquiring a hairless cat might have been Price’s attempt to choose a “safer” animal but it will be May before the weather is clement enough for an essentially naked cat to consider leaving the house.
But leave eventually it will — for this is the nature of the cat. And although I generally eschew dolorousness, all previous experience must, sadly, lead us to believe that this pet too will eventually meet its end on the A24. At some point this summer some unfortunate motorist on their way to Worthing will call a loved one from a lay-by, crying, “I was only going at 26mph and then what appeared to be a nude rat or a giant hand ― like Thing from
The Addams Family ― ran out in front of me. Followed by Katie Price, shouting, ‘It’s happening
again!’ Today has been weird.”
*These are not the facts
I don’t think Caitlin has much time for the Skank 
user, does no exercise. Yet doesn’t seem to have any associated health problems. On top of this, she was made bankrupt at the end of 2019, just before COVID hit. She greatly benefited from all the delays this caused, and even now, years later, she has been able to continue spending without restriction. Still living in a huge mansion, still having daily ‘beauty’ treatments, still getting employed 
Virtually abandoned now by their useless Mum in name only, a drunk and 
xxx.
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