Lurkymclurkinson1
VIP Member
I've seen hair like it, on Gordon Ramsay
- Notice
I've seen hair like it, on Gordon Ramsay
Moonhead
Member
Oh my god! My first and only post and I’ve got a thread title 
I’m going to have to celebrate with a glass of non-secco, or maybe red wine 
Just want to let you all know I’ve been lurking here since the infamous ‘troll’ video, and all you lot have me crying laughing on the daily!
I was modeling for my friend who was doing a 12 week course with Kate back in the SW days. It’s nasty to say but my friend isn’t the best at makeup, hence why doing the course. Kate just completely turned her nose up at her, offered no help at all and just focused on the girls who already knew what they were doing! Bare in mind my friend paid thousands for this course, and all she left with was a bag full of shit Superdrug makeup and no more knowledge than when she started.
On one of the weeks, someone came in for a meeting with her during the course who sounded like he was designing her website for her to sell her makeup line. She told him, very loudly may I add, that the products are crap, all cheap stuff she gets imported, so he needed to make them look extra special on the website so that people will buy them.
I just hope one day all these young girls will cotton onto her and her lies, she’s a bad tramp who needs a wash. Definitely not this boss babe CEO she pretends to be.
I’m going to have to celebrate with a glass of non-secco, or maybe red wine Just want to let you all know I’ve been lurking here since the infamous ‘troll’ video, and all you lot have me crying laughing on the daily!
I was modeling for my friend who was doing a 12 week course with Kate back in the SW days. It’s nasty to say but my friend isn’t the best at makeup, hence why doing the course. Kate just completely turned her nose up at her, offered no help at all and just focused on the girls who already knew what they were doing! Bare in mind my friend paid thousands for this course, and all she left with was a bag full of shit Superdrug makeup and no more knowledge than when she started.
On one of the weeks, someone came in for a meeting with her during the course who sounded like he was designing her website for her to sell her makeup line. She told him, very loudly may I add, that the products are crap, all cheap stuff she gets imported, so he needed to make them look extra special on the website so that people will buy them.
I just hope one day all these young girls will cotton onto her and her lies, she’s a bad tramp who needs a wash. Definitely not this boss babe CEO she pretends to be.
QueenBarb2
VIP Member
MAX: FUCKIN SICK OV THESE TWO ME. LIFE WAS FUCKIN FAB UNTIL THIS SMELLY FUCK TURNED UP. WHERES ME OLD MA GONE LIKE? FUCKIN HATE THIS 3 BED SEMI
THM: MAX MMKAY, FUCKIN SMILE WITH YA NEW MOMMA AND TINY DADDY
MAX: FUCK SAKE I WAS GONNA LEG IT OUT THE WAY INTO THE LIVINGROOM BUH ILL END UP IN FUCKIN NARNIA IF I STEP FOOT IN THAT WARDROBE ROOM. WHERES ME FIRST MAAAAA FEEL LIKE PISSIN ALL OVER THE NEW CARPETS
*Naomi’s Dad is watching through the green house extension windows with a tear in his eye, he tip toes off out of sight seeing Delo come the door to let Max out for a shit*
NAOMI’s DAD: PSSTT.. MAX!! OVER ERE
*silently jiving to himself behind a purple wheelybin*
MAX: *looking over his shoulder as he’s cocking his leg up on a Asda bag full of rubble and weeds* WHERE ARE YE???
NAOMI’s DAD: AM IN THE ENTREEEEE
MAX: WHERE??
NAOMI’s DAD: AM IN THE ENTREEEE LAD
*Max rolls his eyes, walks through his own shit on purpose and bee lines for the only sofa in the house, the green one in the kitchen*
THM: MAX MMKAY, FUCKIN SMILE WITH YA NEW MOMMA AND TINY DADDY
MAX: FUCK SAKE I WAS GONNA LEG IT OUT THE WAY INTO THE LIVINGROOM BUH ILL END UP IN FUCKIN NARNIA IF I STEP FOOT IN THAT WARDROBE ROOM. WHERES ME FIRST MAAAAA FEEL LIKE PISSIN ALL OVER THE NEW CARPETS
*Naomi’s Dad is watching through the green house extension windows with a tear in his eye, he tip toes off out of sight seeing Delo come the door to let Max out for a shit*
NAOMI’s DAD: PSSTT.. MAX!! OVER ERE
*silently jiving to himself behind a purple wheelybin*
MAX: *looking over his shoulder as he’s cocking his leg up on a Asda bag full of rubble and weeds* WHERE ARE YE???
NAOMI’s DAD: AM IN THE ENTREEEEE
MAX: WHERE??
NAOMI’s DAD: AM IN THE ENTREEEE LAD
*Max rolls his eyes, walks through his own shit on purpose and bee lines for the only sofa in the house, the green one in the kitchen*
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QueenBarb2
VIP Member
Why’s she trying to entertain OHD? She’s a newborn? 
*phone rings*
DELO: *looks over at his work mate* FUCK SAKE ITS KATE. BEEN OUT THE HOUSE FUCKING 2 HOURS AND SHES RINGING.. ELLO BABE?
THM: IYA. *whacks her head on the low ceiling in the tiny garage conversion* MMKAY. LIKE WHAT DO I DO, IM TRYING TO MAKE THE BED, SLAP 6 LAYERS OF FOUNDATION ON MY LIPS, ENTERTAIN MISS DELO, MMKAY. IM COVERED IN TYRE TIT JUICE. FUCK SAKE. SO... YEAH!
DELO: *pointing to nearby panelling hand gesturing that he would have sex with it
* .. OK JUST FOCUS ON 1 THING MOMMA, MAYBE USE MY SILK SCARF TO ENTERTAIN HER?
THM: IVE TRIED EVERYFIN. IVE SET A 3 COURSE MEAL UP, SHE SLEPT THROUGH IT MMKAY. I SENT MAXI THE SHOP FOR SOME TREATS BUT HE EYE ROLLED ME, SO HES IN THE SHED, MMMKAY. *tries to fit her whole shovel hand into her mouth because that’s the last thing she was watching on youtube*
DELO: AM AT WORK NAH BABE SO YOULL HAVE TO PHONE YA MA. *puts phone down and goes back to eyeing up local girls in a nearby McDonalds*
*Ring ring ring ring*
NANNY HAYES: BLOOMIN ELLOOOOO MY SLAB BACKED SWEETHEART *looking back over her shoulder at Naomi’s Dad whos lay in bed next to her*
THM: HONEST TO FUCKEN GOD MUM YOU HAVENT EVEN SEEN OLIF YET MMKAY SO YOU BEST GET ROUND HERE MMKAY AND HELP ME ENTERTAIN HER MMMMMKAY
NANNY HAYES: BLOOMIN HELL LOVE DONT YA KNOW ITS A PANDEMIC. AV YA BLOOMIN TRIED THE SILK SCARF? *watches Naomi’s Dad as he stand up and starts doing the Hand Jive off Grease*
THM: COURSE I HAVE, TRIED MAKING MYSELF DISAPPEAR BEHIND HIS TRENCH COAT LIKE A MAGIC TRICK AND OLIF WASNT EVEN LOOKING *pulls a ball of hair out of her ponytail, sniffs it’s and throws it behind the green sofa*
NANNY HAYES: IVE JUST GOT BLOOMIN NAOMI’s DAD HERE *Naomi’s Dad starts doing the Macarena lay down* .. ILL GET YA DAD TO NIP ROUND.
NAOMI’s DAD: TELL HER ILL COME AND ENTERTAIN DEM ALL WIV ME SPAGETTI LEGS MERYL.
NANNY HAYES: ILL BLOOMIN COME ROUND TOMORROW WIV NAOMI’S DAD, MY FILTERED TO FUCK SHOVEL HANDED BABY GIRL.
THM: MMMKAY.
*she puts the phone down, walks to the back doors and opens them, with Olive over her Hunchback*
THM: YEW SORRY LAD? READY TO COME OUT MMKAY? *trips up on a giant 2 week old turd*
MAX: YOU NEED LET ME OUT NOW STEP MOMMA.. IT DOESNT HAVE THE SAME AFFECT EYEROLLIN TO MESELF. ALSO I NEED A SHIT
THM: COME ON OUT THEN, IM GONNA NIP OUT FOR WINE FRIDAY IN A BIT AFTER A QUICK GLAM SO YOU CAN WATCH OLIF MMKAY? *pops Olive on Max’s back and makes her way to her marble island for a momma glam*
MAX: ALRIGHT GERL.
*phone rings*
DELO: *looks over at his work mate* FUCK SAKE ITS KATE. BEEN OUT THE HOUSE FUCKING 2 HOURS AND SHES RINGING.. ELLO BABE?
THM: IYA. *whacks her head on the low ceiling in the tiny garage conversion* MMKAY. LIKE WHAT DO I DO, IM TRYING TO MAKE THE BED, SLAP 6 LAYERS OF FOUNDATION ON MY LIPS, ENTERTAIN MISS DELO, MMKAY. IM COVERED IN TYRE TIT JUICE. FUCK SAKE. SO... YEAH!
DELO: *pointing to nearby panelling hand gesturing that he would have sex with it
* .. OK JUST FOCUS ON 1 THING MOMMA, MAYBE USE MY SILK SCARF TO ENTERTAIN HER?THM: IVE TRIED EVERYFIN. IVE SET A 3 COURSE MEAL UP, SHE SLEPT THROUGH IT MMKAY. I SENT MAXI THE SHOP FOR SOME TREATS BUT HE EYE ROLLED ME, SO HES IN THE SHED, MMMKAY. *tries to fit her whole shovel hand into her mouth because that’s the last thing she was watching on youtube*
DELO: AM AT WORK NAH BABE SO YOULL HAVE TO PHONE YA MA. *puts phone down and goes back to eyeing up local girls in a nearby McDonalds*
*Ring ring ring ring*
NANNY HAYES: BLOOMIN ELLOOOOO MY SLAB BACKED SWEETHEART *looking back over her shoulder at Naomi’s Dad whos lay in bed next to her*
THM: HONEST TO FUCKEN GOD MUM YOU HAVENT EVEN SEEN OLIF YET MMKAY SO YOU BEST GET ROUND HERE MMKAY AND HELP ME ENTERTAIN HER MMMMMKAY
NANNY HAYES: BLOOMIN HELL LOVE DONT YA KNOW ITS A PANDEMIC. AV YA BLOOMIN TRIED THE SILK SCARF? *watches Naomi’s Dad as he stand up and starts doing the Hand Jive off Grease*
THM: COURSE I HAVE, TRIED MAKING MYSELF DISAPPEAR BEHIND HIS TRENCH COAT LIKE A MAGIC TRICK AND OLIF WASNT EVEN LOOKING *pulls a ball of hair out of her ponytail, sniffs it’s and throws it behind the green sofa*
NANNY HAYES: IVE JUST GOT BLOOMIN NAOMI’s DAD HERE *Naomi’s Dad starts doing the Macarena lay down* .. ILL GET YA DAD TO NIP ROUND.
NAOMI’s DAD: TELL HER ILL COME AND ENTERTAIN DEM ALL WIV ME SPAGETTI LEGS MERYL.
NANNY HAYES: ILL BLOOMIN COME ROUND TOMORROW WIV NAOMI’S DAD, MY FILTERED TO FUCK SHOVEL HANDED BABY GIRL.
THM: MMMKAY.
*she puts the phone down, walks to the back doors and opens them, with Olive over her Hunchback*
THM: YEW SORRY LAD? READY TO COME OUT MMKAY? *trips up on a giant 2 week old turd*
MAX: YOU NEED LET ME OUT NOW STEP MOMMA.. IT DOESNT HAVE THE SAME AFFECT EYEROLLIN TO MESELF. ALSO I NEED A SHIT
THM: COME ON OUT THEN, IM GONNA NIP OUT FOR WINE FRIDAY IN A BIT AFTER A QUICK GLAM SO YOU CAN WATCH OLIF MMKAY? *pops Olive on Max’s back and makes her way to her marble island for a momma glam*
MAX: ALRIGHT GERL.
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Last edited:
Lurkymclurkinson1
VIP Member
Oh god, rabbit hole pending 
Thread Suggestion:
Kate Hayes #28 - Q the drama to up her engagement score, threads dried up now she's a baby bore.
Thread Suggestion:
Kate Hayes #28 - Q the drama to up her engagement score, threads dried up now she's a baby bore.
Hello25210
Member
I HaVent eDitEd mY boDy sinCE ivE Been pRegNant 
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Yellowsocks
Active member
Leahhutchinson
Chatty Member
I DNT EDIT ME PHOTOS HUNZ MMMMKAY
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RitaSueBobtoo
Chatty Member
Let's not turn this thread into the investor files again like that other one where even I thought I was THM at one point commenting on the baby's looks will be a no from me, poor bugger has enough to contend with having a Dad locked in the bespoke shed and a Mum who could clear driveways in a blizzard with her bare hands 
commenting on the baby's looks will be a no from me, poor bugger has enough to contend with having a Dad locked in the bespoke shed and a Mum who could clear driveways in a blizzard with her bare hands 
Noteanoshade
Well-known member
Are we calling a babies looks now? 
let’s not be the gremlins she is hoping for. Spesh not bang on time for her prime time Sunday slot, that would go right into her favour. Plus it’s just a dick move in general.
let’s not be the gremlins she is hoping for. Spesh not bang on time for her prime time Sunday slot, that would go right into her favour. Plus it’s just a dick move in general.
RitaSueBobtoo
Chatty Member
Just been to me Ma's and she made me a ham and cumber butty and I couldn't stop laughing, I asked her if it was Billy Bear ham and she seen her arse saying 'what are you talking about I have never bought that shite, I hope you dont tell people I buy that shite' proper fewme 
I didnt bother trying to explain about THM and tattle because shes only just grasped what a DVD player is 
I didnt bother trying to explain about THM and tattle because shes only just grasped what a DVD player is 
TinyTinksx
Member
Anyone a tab worried why she keeps saying her baby is still in tiny baby clothes??? She's only what 2weeks old?? Calm the f down!! You expecting her to be in daddy diy's work shorts by a month 
Ilovehoodedeyes
Chatty Member
Matts so super organised that he spent half the pregnancy building a bomb shelter and the other half paneling the wirral so now the poor kid hasn't got a living room to chill in hahahahahahaLove how she thinks she has her 2 week old baby’s routine sorted because Matt is very “organised”...just you wait hun
Beachlife123
Well-known member
Hasn’t altered her pictures since pregnant, honest!!
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QueenBarb2
VIP Member
I’d rather repost a photo of Purple Acki licking me gooch rather than repost a holiday photo I took on holiday with my exI know and only 3 years ago
QueenBarb2
VIP Member
FUCK OFFFFFFF
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHA
DAT AMY MUST FUCKEN BE LAUGHING HER TITS OFF.
AMY: JIMMY LAD WHAT SHUD WE CALL DIS GIFT FOR OLIF??
JAMES: DUNNO GERL, WHATS KATE LIKE?
AMY: ERR, SHE LIKES FAKE TAN, PANELLING, FREE INSTA SHIT.. I KNOW.. TRUFFLE!!! SHE FUCKIN LIVES EATS BREATHES BATHES IN TRUFFLE OIL.
JAMES: FUCK OFF SHE’LL FINK YA TAKIN THE MICK GERL
AMY: HE HE.