Katie Hayes #102 Looks nothing like her Insta image; she’s the hunchback of Upton Village

[Cady1954]

Is everybody hoping that the friends and family members who are on here are going to the wedding?

 

[Shazblag]

Delo waiting to see his edited biceps.

 

[twirls4lyf]

Krusty Krab for me
Well Worth the wait @Eleanor Abernathy

 

[Foodaholic]

Waaaa. Fab recap. Boss title. Ready for the ride.
PS, she had her lips done? She looks so puffy.

 

[Blahblahahaaa77]

Deffs hasn’t had a shower since her sweaty minge pic

 

[JoeExotic]

@Eleanor Abernathy mate, you are one talented troll

 

[Flowers60]

@Eleanor Abernathy that recap has made up for my absolute shocker of a morning at work, I’m so glad I’m not in the office making all this racket

 

[davidsdead]

A years supply of concealer, a concealer that costs £3? And because I don’t suffocate my face it in like truff, my concealer lasts months. Could you be arsed?! Scruff.

 

[Fizz22]

@Eleanor Abernathy microwaved soap you're 100% Top Recap Troll

 

[Brooke Davis]

Call off the search pardi! Here he is, twit and twit twinning!
Hes got my nans glasses chain on incase he loses them in bizo.
View attachment 751471

He looks like a twit
I Dno why or how he puts up with this charade from her. If I put a picture up where my gammon thinks he looks bad, he’ll be like why have you put that up, take it down.
He deffo would slap the phone out my hand if I started chatting wham into my phone at 6:30am in bed. I honestly can’t figure out if delo is a mug, putting up with it for the shot freebies or just proper special!

 

[Salsausagelips]

Amazing work as always @Eleanor Abernathy take a bow



Truff is reading here a lot lately isn’t she.

 

[Fizz22]

4 hours on an easyjet plane with a 1 year old. No tar

He looks like a twit
I Dno why or how he puts up with this charade from her. If I put a picture up where my gammon thinks he looks bad, he’ll be like why have you put that up, take it down.
He deffo would slap the phone out my hand if I started chatting wham into my phone at 6:30am in bed. I honestly can’t figure out if delo is a mug, putting up with it for the shot freebies or just proper special!

He looks so uninterested all the time. More so on that lil video. Although, I'm sure we will now get a happy smiling family pic in the airport.

 

[Brooke Davis]

Well done to @Violetx for the stupendous thread title. And the shitshow goes on…

Wednesday began with her looking like a rejected piece of Shrek concept art doing the same makeup look that she’s done for the past eleventy billion years while simultaneously confirming that she is the reason they have to put ‘Beware, may contain nuts’ on the side of packets of nuts. In another garbled message, we heard the sad tale of a poor little covid denier who had had an angry mob armed with firesticks and three spike poles descend upon her house. With all the smugness of someone who’s robbed four grand from a till and got someone else to pay it back for her, she continued the saga of woe and told of the visits from the covid police who ‘she had around all the time,’ as though it was something to be proud of. Word of advice, Truff, if you post stories of you breaking lockdown rules on social media, then don’t be surprised when you get reported for breaking lockdown rules.

Thursday took us to London ‘for the day’. Not sure which system of time Kate is using to measure days with, maybe it’s the reverse of the one that she measures her runs with, but apparently ‘for the day’ means setting out at 11am, arriving at 1pm and then coming back at 5. More evidence of Kate being on a different temporal plane to the rest of us came when she showed us she’d packed enough food for seventeen days despite only going for the ‘day’. The ‘few snacks for Olive’ would have actually been enough for Jesus not to have bothered with the miracle and instead just tapped up Truff for her picnic bag. Whether the hungry masses and a couple of disciples would have eaten cold egg with blueberries and cheese is an entirely different matter though. One would be inclined to think that starvation was a much better prospect...

If you thought the ‘day trip’ to London was so Kate could introduce her daughter to some of the most famous sights in the UK, then you’d be bang on if the most famous sights in London could be seen in the same amount of time it takes Tom Daley to run 3 miles. Wearing Michael Keaton’s cast-off trousers and a pair of shoes you could kick the eyes of spiders out with, Kate spent a whole twenty minutes walking through Green Park and looking at Buckingham Palace on her way to Hyde Park station before we discovered the real reason for the London trip - dinner and wine with a couple of other massive begs and the halfwit who decided a woman with all the appeal of a wet dressing gown sleeve and the dress sense of a blind man wearing a wolf fleece was an appropriate ambassador for their product. Of course, ‘Olive loved it,’ as she always does, especially when ‘We did follower making and I made actually proud.’ Alan Turing is currently spinning in his grave at the thought of the Enigma machine trying to crack that one..

Friday was Launch Day for round two of all the old shite Home Bargains found in an old lockup and have been desperate to get rid of since late 2017. Kate attended a ‘conference’ that looked suspiciously like a trade fair where she teased us with her big secret reveal with the boxes of the big secret reveal in full view in the background. In her best ‘business’ clothes and with her hair looking like Rab.C.Nesbitt's in the before picture of an advert for male pattern baldness treatment, she stood proudly making jazz hands in front of a poster of Scarlett Moffat for a few hours, only moving to attack a poor unsuspecting competition ‘winner’ with her manky brushes. Spare a thought for the county’s 167th most important MUA of 2012 though, as being stood up for the day took a terrible toll on her poor legs and before she went out that evening she showed us how she’d been afflicted with a terrible case of the pool noodles. Sophie Ellis Bextor must have been pissing herself watching the wobbly herbert on the dancefloor.

Another busy weekend for Miss Makeup that started with another terrified bride being made to wear precariously balanced lashes held on with spit and hope. The poor girl must have been too frightened to blink for the rest of the day for fear of them fluttering off during the ‘I Dos’ like a pair of mating spiders caught in a sudden gust of wind. Not content with just revealing the venue, the venue decorations, the layout of the ceremony room, and the bride’s makeup, the eternal bridesmaid also gave the world a sneak peek of the bride’s dress. Jealousy is an ugly colour Truff, leave your brides out of your life of no ring..

She finally showed us what we’d all seen anyway and KHM Home Bargains Ali-Express launch mark 2 was off. As professional as ever with her best sweaty tracksuit on, a face like a piece of microwaved soap and clouded by a slight aroma of hotdog water, she modelled a ring light that’s also available with more settings and for less money on Amazon, some makeup holders that look as sturdy (and as fit for purpose) as the pen-pots my kids made out of toilet roll tubes and glitter on their first day of school, and a makeup trolley that’s about as useful as a lighthouse in the desert. Kate used her puppy snatcher hands to thrash and swing her new stock about displaying the sturdiness and quality of the products by instantly breaking the zip on the trolley.

This is the week that she’s finally flying out to Mykonos for her Maid of Honour Ceremony so the last few days have mainly consisted of her showing us how to pack for a holiday as though she’s doing some sort of charitable service for the plebs on her page who have never even seen a magic flying machine, let alone been in one and to another country, and her getting ready for said holiday. Even though she doesn’t even read here, does she Matt, she’s finally had her straggly ends cut off and now her hair ‘looks so thick’ (it doesn’t, Kate, it just looks less like it was last cut with a knife and fork), and breakfasts and lives up and down the country were ruined after she posted a pre-laser treatment before shot of what was potentially her minge. Bet young Miss Makeup is grateful every day that she came out via Cesarean and not through the door of the Krusty Krab…

Surprise troll rant from her the morning of the flights, she made out as though it was because she was stressed from all the packing of unopened jigsaws and shoes in the hand luggage but we all know the real reason for the be kind symphony - she is absolutely shatting herself over the lack of control she’ll have over the next week’s worth of pictures.. Are we on for another Ocean Beach epic? Stay tuned for a possible part two of the adventures of Kate and her Dangly Tassled Costume…

On a final note, does anyone know where Delo is???

As always, Read the Wiki..

This is all brilliant! @Eleanor Abernathy please tell me you do some sort of creative writing or your job includes descriptive writing

 

[Southern.fairy91]

So she’s gone for a jog in the heat not washed her hair and is now going the airport? She’s gunna smell like a wet donkey when she gets to greece.

 

[Heneghs]

Well done to @Violetx for the stupendous thread title. And the shitshow goes on…

Wednesday began with her looking like a rejected piece of Shrek concept art doing the same makeup look that she’s done for the past eleventy billion years while simultaneously confirming that she is the reason they have to put ‘Beware, may contain nuts’ on the side of packets of nuts. In another garbled message, we heard the sad tale of a poor little covid denier who had had an angry mob armed with firesticks and three spike poles descend upon her house. With all the smugness of someone who’s robbed four grand from a till and got someone else to pay it back for her, she continued the saga of woe and told of the visits from the covid police who ‘she had around all the time,’ as though it was something to be proud of. Word of advice, Truff, if you post stories of you breaking lockdown rules on social media, then don’t be surprised when you get reported for breaking lockdown rules.

Thursday took us to London ‘for the day’. Not sure which system of time Kate is using to measure days with, maybe it’s the reverse of the one that she measures her runs with, but apparently ‘for the day’ means setting out at 11am, arriving at 1pm and then coming back at 5. More evidence of Kate being on a different temporal plane to the rest of us came when she showed us she’d packed enough food for seventeen days despite only going for the ‘day’. The ‘few snacks for Olive’ would have actually been enough for Jesus not to have bothered with the miracle and instead just tapped up Truff for her picnic bag. Whether the hungry masses and a couple of disciples would have eaten cold egg with blueberries and cheese is an entirely different matter though. One would be inclined to think that starvation was a much better prospect...

If you thought the ‘day trip’ to London was so Kate could introduce her daughter to some of the most famous sights in the UK, then you’d be bang on if the most famous sights in London could be seen in the same amount of time it takes Tom Daley to run 3 miles. Wearing Michael Keaton’s cast-off trousers and a pair of shoes you could kick the eyes of spiders out with, Kate spent a whole twenty minutes walking through Green Park and looking at Buckingham Palace on her way to Hyde Park station before we discovered the real reason for the London trip - dinner and wine with a couple of other massive begs and the halfwit who decided a woman with all the appeal of a wet dressing gown sleeve and the dress sense of a blind man wearing a wolf fleece was an appropriate ambassador for their product. Of course, ‘Olive loved it,’ as she always does, especially when ‘We did follower making and I made actually proud.’ Alan Turing is currently spinning in his grave at the thought of the Enigma machine trying to crack that one..

Friday was Launch Day for round two of all the old shite Home Bargains found in an old lockup and have been desperate to get rid of since late 2017. Kate attended a ‘conference’ that looked suspiciously like a trade fair where she teased us with her big secret reveal with the boxes of the big secret reveal in full view in the background. In her best ‘business’ clothes and with her hair looking like Rab.C.Nesbitt's in the before picture of an advert for male pattern baldness treatment, she stood proudly making jazz hands in front of a poster of Scarlett Moffat for a few hours, only moving to attack a poor unsuspecting competition ‘winner’ with her manky brushes. Spare a thought for the county’s 167th most important MUA of 2012 though, as being stood up for the day took a terrible toll on her poor legs and before she went out that evening she showed us how she’d been afflicted with a terrible case of the pool noodles. Sophie Ellis Bextor must have been pissing herself watching the wobbly herbert on the dancefloor.

Another busy weekend for Miss Makeup that started with another terrified bride being made to wear precariously balanced lashes held on with spit and hope. The poor girl must have been too frightened to blink for the rest of the day for fear of them fluttering off during the ‘I Dos’ like a pair of mating spiders caught in a sudden gust of wind. Not content with just revealing the venue, the venue decorations, the layout of the ceremony room, and the bride’s makeup, the eternal bridesmaid also gave the world a sneak peek of the bride’s dress. Jealousy is an ugly colour Truff, leave your brides out of your life of no ring..

She finally showed us what we’d all seen anyway and KHM Home Bargains Ali-Express launch mark 2 was off. As professional as ever with her best sweaty tracksuit on, a face like a piece of microwaved soap and clouded by a slight aroma of hotdog water, she modelled a ring light that’s also available with more settings and for less money on Amazon, some makeup holders that look as sturdy (and as fit for purpose) as the pen-pots my kids made out of toilet roll tubes and glitter on their first day of school, and a makeup trolley that’s about as useful as a lighthouse in the desert. Kate used her puppy snatcher hands to thrash and swing her new stock about displaying the sturdiness and quality of the products by instantly breaking the zip on the trolley.

This is the week that she’s finally flying out to Mykonos for her Maid of Honour Ceremony so the last few days have mainly consisted of her showing us how to pack for a holiday as though she’s doing some sort of charitable service for the plebs on her page who have never even seen a magic flying machine, let alone been in one and to another country, and her getting ready for said holiday. Even though she doesn’t even read here, does she Matt, she’s finally had her straggly ends cut off and now her hair ‘looks so thick’ (it doesn’t, Kate, it just looks less like it was last cut with a knife and fork), and breakfasts and lives up and down the country were ruined after she posted a pre-laser treatment before shot of what was potentially her minge. Bet young Miss Makeup is grateful every day that she came out via Cesarean and not through the door of the Krusty Krab…

Surprise troll rant from her the morning of the flights, she made out as though it was because she was stressed from all the packing of unopened jigsaws and shoes in the hand luggage but we all know the real reason for the be kind symphony - she is absolutely shatting herself over the lack of control she’ll have over the next week’s worth of pictures.. Are we on for another Ocean Beach epic? Stay tuned for a possible part two of the adventures of Kate and her Dangly Tassled Costume…

On a final note, does anyone know where Delo is???

As always, Read the Wiki..

Cut hair with a knife and fork

 

[Bigninja]

does anyone know where Delo is?

And just like that...poof Delo reappears. But she doesn't read here, does she Delo?

 

[Flowers60]

I hope Max is living his best life at the dog hotel, getting all the fuss he deserves while he’s away from ZSMs house of horrors

 

[Blahblahahaaa77]

There only 1 Manchester flight today … quite late for a 1 year old!

 

[Trolling.around]

I’m out Saturday with my friends friends & 1 of the girls is always licking ass on Truffs Posts & another girl was Bridesmaid at 1 of the weddings she’s done. CANNOT WAIT to guide them to the Wiki..

Also a girl I went to school with ass licks her & weeks ago I sent her the link for the wiki & look at her response why do some people not see her for the bleep she is!!

One last thing anyone noticed she’s turned off how many likes are on her posts - BUT she doesn’t read here does she Matt?

Roll on the antics in Mykonos

 

[Sour Pickle]

Well done to @Violetx for the stupendous thread title. And the shitshow goes on…

Wednesday began with her looking like a rejected piece of Shrek concept art doing the same makeup look that she’s done for the past eleventy billion years while simultaneously confirming that she is the reason they have to put ‘Beware, may contain nuts’ on the side of packets of nuts. In another garbled message, we heard the sad tale of a poor little covid denier who had had an angry mob armed with firesticks and three spike poles descend upon her house. With all the smugness of someone who’s robbed four grand from a till and got someone else to pay it back for her, she continued the saga of woe and told of the visits from the covid police who ‘she had around all the time,’ as though it was something to be proud of. Word of advice, Truff, if you post stories of you breaking lockdown rules on social media, then don’t be surprised when you get reported for breaking lockdown rules.

Thursday took us to London ‘for the day’. Not sure which system of time Kate is using to measure days with, maybe it’s the reverse of the one that she measures her runs with, but apparently ‘for the day’ means setting out at 11am, arriving at 1pm and then coming back at 5. More evidence of Kate being on a different temporal plane to the rest of us came when she showed us she’d packed enough food for seventeen days despite only going for the ‘day’. The ‘few snacks for Olive’ would have actually been enough for Jesus not to have bothered with the miracle and instead just tapped up Truff for her picnic bag. Whether the hungry masses and a couple of disciples would have eaten cold egg with blueberries and cheese is an entirely different matter though. One would be inclined to think that starvation was a much better prospect...

If you thought the ‘day trip’ to London was so Kate could introduce her daughter to some of the most famous sights in the UK, then you’d be bang on if the most famous sights in London could be seen in the same amount of time it takes Tom Daley to run 3 miles. Wearing Michael Keaton’s cast-off trousers and a pair of shoes you could kick the eyes of spiders out with, Kate spent a whole twenty minutes walking through Green Park and looking at Buckingham Palace on her way to Hyde Park station before we discovered the real reason for the London trip - dinner and wine with a couple of other massive begs and the halfwit who decided a woman with all the appeal of a wet dressing gown sleeve and the dress sense of a blind man wearing a wolf fleece was an appropriate ambassador for their product. Of course, ‘Olive loved it,’ as she always does, especially when ‘We did follower making and I made actually proud.’ Alan Turing is currently spinning in his grave at the thought of the Enigma machine trying to crack that one..

Friday was Launch Day for round two of all the old shite Home Bargains found in an old lockup and have been desperate to get rid of since late 2017. Kate attended a ‘conference’ that looked suspiciously like a trade fair where she teased us with her big secret reveal with the boxes of the big secret reveal in full view in the background. In her best ‘business’ clothes and with her hair looking like Rab.C.Nesbitt's in the before picture of an advert for male pattern baldness treatment, she stood proudly making jazz hands in front of a poster of Scarlett Moffat for a few hours, only moving to attack a poor unsuspecting competition ‘winner’ with her manky brushes. Spare a thought for the county’s 167th most important MUA of 2012 though, as being stood up for the day took a terrible toll on her poor legs and before she went out that evening she showed us how she’d been afflicted with a terrible case of the pool noodles. Sophie Ellis Bextor must have been pissing herself watching the wobbly herbert on the dancefloor.

Another busy weekend for Miss Makeup that started with another terrified bride being made to wear precariously balanced lashes held on with spit and hope. The poor girl must have been too frightened to blink for the rest of the day for fear of them fluttering off during the ‘I Dos’ like a pair of mating spiders caught in a sudden gust of wind. Not content with just revealing the venue, the venue decorations, the layout of the ceremony room, and the bride’s makeup, the eternal bridesmaid also gave the world a sneak peek of the bride’s dress. Jealousy is an ugly colour Truff, leave your brides out of your life of no ring..

She finally showed us what we’d all seen anyway and KHM Home Bargains Ali-Express launch mark 2 was off. As professional as ever with her best sweaty tracksuit on, a face like a piece of microwaved soap and clouded by a slight aroma of hotdog water, she modelled a ring light that’s also available with more settings and for less money on Amazon, some makeup holders that look as sturdy (and as fit for purpose) as the pen-pots my kids made out of toilet roll tubes and glitter on their first day of school, and a makeup trolley that’s about as useful as a lighthouse in the desert. Kate used her puppy snatcher hands to thrash and swing her new stock about displaying the sturdiness and quality of the products by instantly breaking the zip on the trolley.

This is the week that she’s finally flying out to Mykonos for her Maid of Honour Ceremony so the last few days have mainly consisted of her showing us how to pack for a holiday as though she’s doing some sort of charitable service for the plebs on her page who have never even seen a magic flying machine, let alone been in one and to another country, and her getting ready for said holiday. Even though she doesn’t even read here, does she Matt, she’s finally had her straggly ends cut off and now her hair ‘looks so thick’ (it doesn’t, Kate, it just looks less like it was last cut with a knife and fork), and breakfasts and lives up and down the country were ruined after she posted a pre-laser treatment before shot of what was potentially her minge. Bet young Miss Makeup is grateful every day that she came out via Cesarean and not through the door of the Krusty Krab…

Surprise troll rant from her the morning of the flights, she made out as though it was because she was stressed from all the packing of unopened jigsaws and shoes in the hand luggage but we all know the real reason for the be kind symphony - she is absolutely shatting herself over the lack of control she’ll have over the next week’s worth of pictures.. Are we on for another Ocean Beach epic? Stay tuned for a possible part two of the adventures of Kate and her Dangly Tassled Costume…

On a final note, does anyone know where Delo is???

As always, Read the Wiki..

Chef’s kiss for this. I can imagine Truff reading it and thinking “never heard of Alan Turing anyway”.