For those who find the blog too painful to watch, here’s a wee summary ... (clearly, I need to get out more!!)
We begin with what I would call an under-chin view in the car. Janeykins has been so busy with the barely legal pyramid selling tripe, that she hasn’t had time to eat. Notwithstanding that, she has been ‘grazing on rubbish’ all day. So basically, she’s been eating all day. She’s wearing black because that’s the only thing she feels comfortable in. Forgiving it might be, but it can’t work the impossible.
Then ... guess what ... the predictable outpouring of reasons why she has ‘put all the weight back on’. Sound familiar, eh? She doesn’t want to blame the ‘stuff that’s been going on’ but she then does blame the stuff that’s been going on. She’s not perfect though. She’s just a bit of an idiot (her words). She may get her nails done and her hair highlighted, but she forgets to eat vegetables. Yes Jane. What she doesn’t say is that she remembers to eat all manner of other kinds of crap instead.
We then have a massive plug for her bizniss (you know the one in which she employs more than 30 staff?!!). She’s never been so busy. She’s off to her favourite post office and thank goodness it’s next to a Lidl, so she can buy a bit more food. It’s probably a top up top up snack run.
There’s then a big kerfuffle as she struggles to find somewhere to park but I have to say, I glazed over at this stage, rather distracted by the unflattering under-chin, which seems almost unprecedented in its size, even for Janey. It’s ok, she’s found a space in the Lidl car park. Phew. We then get a quick view of the bag of parcels, just to underline the fact that she’s a successful bizniss woman who is very busy, so busy that she forgets to eat vegetables.
She doesn’t buy anythink in Lidl. What?! Someone take her temperature.
She tells us about all the parcels again.
Then we get a Mowisons haul. First up, it’s some fizzy drinks, swiftly followed by some frozen ready meals. It generally gets worse and worse. She’s bought some big fatty cremes brûlée’s (her faves) and ooooopsy, she’s forgotten the veg again, so it seems. Anyone notice when she’s doing a shopping haul and there’s something particularly unhealthy (it’s all relative), she always prefaces the introduction of the offending item by saying ‘Charlie bean wanted this .....’. , as if to excuse it in some way. We all know it was you, Jane.
We get a glimpse of supper. Only a gazillion calories and once again, not a morsel of greenery in sight! She then spends far too long bragging about how calorific their favorite mayo is. And surprisingly, janeychins seems to have accidentally had some of the onion rings that ‘Charlie wanted’.
So basically, after the outburst at the beginning re the weight, we can see very clearly that they have abandoned the calorie countin’. Well, they might be countin’ them, but maybe trying to tott up as many as possible.
We are then treated to a bit of a skincare routine. We learn that schwtwess has a real effect on her skin. It couldn’t be what she is putting in her body, could it?
We then have another little haul. Basically, it’s a load of tat once again. She stops to question how many sides a hexagon has. The answer doesn’t come.
She tells us about the parcels AGAIN and there then follows a bizarre endorsement for what looks like pensioner coach trips. Chins has been on some coach trips already with them. That won’t surprise you. Chins doesn’t really like coach holidays because of the toilet situation of course. She then says when she and Charlie bean ‘can’t drive anymore’, they may give them a whirl. Not sure if she’s referring to when they are too old to want to drive, or to when they have eaten themselves into oblivion and they are both too large to get out of the front door. Anyway, she would do it now, but for the toilet situation. I’m actually surprised she ever goes to the toilet if she forgets the vegetables so regularly! Eeeew gross.
It’s ‘poor little family biznisses’ that are suffering now (in brackets, understood, not multinational booming biznesses like her own).
No more mention of the parcels.
The end.
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hate to think the state of her vag must look like a hedgehog that’s been run over 
