TurquoisePanther
New member
Ok - essay alert.
I’ve never posted before but I’ve watched Carys for a long time, and over the past year and a half or so, I just feel as though they’ve changed so much and sadly I’m no longer really interested in watching them.
I really do hope that James and Carys might read here and take what I say seriously. I've commented on videos before and my comments just got deleted.
I have been watching them for around 2 years now and I have also watched their earlier videos when I first discovered them. I found Carys to be really refreshing and engaging.
I think Carys displays a lot of ADHD symptoms. This is much more noticeable in her earlier videos, for example; Forgetfulness, driving back to uni and forgetting key, losing items needed to do a job, unable to filter out irrelevant information whilst telling a story/having a conversation, goes off on tangents whilst talking and forgets to finish sentences, quite disorganised and lives in messy spaces, go through phases of being organised and together and then unable to keep it up and it falls apart and back to being disorganised, very excitable and little self regulation, lots of bouncy exaggerated movement and speech. She also seems to have some amount of emotional dysregulation, where she struggles to regulate her emotions and reactions well and has dramatic responses and dramatic reactions to seemingly normal things. She appears to feel very intensely and deeply. If you watch her video on being a psycho girlfriend and their “ttc” video, she talks about her obsessive behaviours and extreme reactions.
ADHD comes with comorbidities - such as anxiety and depression, particularly in undiagnosed females (females are very under diagnosed and tend to have more inattentive symptoms (internal hyperactivity instead) and be conditioned by society to be less hyperactive with more internal restlessness (not always the case of course). Carys is very open about her struggles with anxiety.
People with ADHD are stimulation seeking (always looking for dopamine hits because of the difference in how the brain functions). They often have lots of new hobbies and fads as novelty creates big dopamine hits, but they may struggle to complete projects once the initial novelty wears off and find new hobbies to meet that need for stimulation.
Carys says she has an ‘obsessive personality’. She has lots of hobbies/fads which give huge dopamine hits, she then loses interest and finds a new 'hobby'. Some of the habits I notice in Carys that appear to be stimulation seeking (dopamine hit) behaviours are:-
Fitness
Crafting
Posting videos/pictures of her very exposed body and receiving positive feedback from viewers
Getting a dog
DIY
Shopping/being gifted new items
Eating out lots
Having takeaways
Renovations
Decorating the house
Decorating the house for different seasons/events
Buying a house
Trying to conceive a baby
Pregnancy
Idea of future baby
Seeking dopamine hits through views, likes, comments online (also engagement helps build her followers and reaches out to brands for being gifted items)
Not being organised enough to do things like meal prep with a shopping list and do a food shop can mean they end up relying on take aways and meals out and this can more or less mask/fix the problem which is really a symptom. Being obsessed with cleaning and tidying one small area of the house when there is actually a huge pile of mess upstairs that needs to be dealt with.
Excessive use of social media exacerbates ADHD symptoms, encourages hyper focus and inattention, constant distractions to keep you hooked on social media and increase anxiety, distractibility.
The things people with ADHD are disinterested in take a hit because they can’t hold their attention well because of how the brain functions. (Part of me wonders if she has handed over responsibility to another person for video editing because she accidentally showed a private area in a try on haul a few years ago and the pervs on Reddit screen grabbed it - their behaviour is abhorrent and sickening).
People with ADHD are usually highly creative and entrepreneurial. She has set up her own business based on herself and her life.
They are also more likely to engage in risk taking behaviour. Such as leaving uni to pursue self employed YouTube career. Always rushing into the next new thing, not thinking things through before making the decision and so having to fix the problem later on.
Choosing to study maths at university (same uni and course as James) when Carys is a highly creative person who appears to have little interest in the more process and procedure side of the business and more on the content and creation.
Rushing into huge life decisions such as decision to buy one of the first houses they saw when there is actually quite a lot that they would like to change about it and hadn’t really considered what that might entail (huge cost estimates due to structural requirements of moving a load bearing wall which has put a complete halt on the idea).
Rushing to have a baby without really coming across as actually having thought about the real life practicalities of having a child (at least if they have had these discussions it hasn’t been posted online).
People with ADHD struggle to have routine and structure and desperately need it but dislike it at the same time. Her lifestyle lacks routine and structure which can exacerbate difficulties of ADHD. She struggles to have any kind of regular routine. She posted a video last year trying to keep up 3 goals, walk Mila daily, cook her own meals and go to the gym. From what they choose to put online, it appears she has struggled to keep that up. She talks about how much routines help her but struggles to maintain them. She said James was up until 3am a few months ago and Carys was still awake?! I get that you can work flexibly when you’re self employed and running your own business but there’s so much research about regular sleep patterns being conducive to good health.
ADHD affects the relationships we choose. Sometimes being in a relationship with someone who makes all the decisions is easier.
I used to really like Carys and James. I found them relatable and interesting. I think over the last year or so (since they married and moved house really) they have become really ‘lazy’ with their content and it no longer appeals to me. I kept watching for a while because I liked them both and I think they were very genuine people at one point but I feel like we have really diverged in our paths in life.
I’m absolutely grafting to earn very little in life but I love what I do and I’ll keep on grafting and hope that I make it. It’s really frustrating to see James and Carys be gifted so much stuff and live such a luxurious lifestyle and it’s really making me feel resentful. They say how grateful they are but they don’t act grateful in their future behaviour (continue to be accepting gifted whopping amounts and spend obscene amounts of money) and I don’t really feel like we have much in common any more, like they’re losing touch with the lifestyle that so many of their followers live. An ordinary and normal non influencer lifestyle! And the fact that they just lap it up with what seems like minimal effort on their part makes it feel even worse.
I think everyone has the right to live in their relationship the way that they want to live, however, I feel as though the way Carys and James’s relationship is has left them really out of touch with reality and with how most people exist in relationships. They are completely co-dependent upon one another, it seems more like Carys is the one who is dependent on James.
I find that Carys seems to make herself out to be a lot more naive than she actually is. I’m unsure whether this is in an attempt to seem ditsy and relatable.
I have inattentive ADHD. I really don’t have a problem with having ADHD, if that might be what is going on for Carys. My issue is a massive change in the type of content they are putting out there, the lack of care towards a lot of their viewers who originally started watching them whilst they were putting out completely different and frankly quite ‘lazy’ content, particularly in light that most of Carys’ followers probably began following her during her fitness days, have maybe stayed around for her personality, but for me her personality really seems to be drifting away from the Carys I feel like I thought I knew, their general attitude about their lifestyle and what feels like lip service in saying how grateful they feel about the financial and societal position they are in. Also their engagement via instagram and tagging brands appears to be a common behaviour amongst influencers in order to alert the brands they are interested in them in the hope that they will be gifted the items they would like. And that really doesn't sit right with me!
What I would really like to see from them (wishful thinking) is:-
Prioritising the quality of their content over the quantity.
A wider variety of content.
Less of the overt showing off of their gifted items.
Less of the obsessive content and take some perspective that the world isn’t revolving around Carys being pregnant
Also why hasn’t she sought help with her anxiety? Her behaviours are not normal and whilst it’s important to self love, let’s be real, anxiety can be crippling, bringing a baby into a world of parental anxiety without having tried to address it via either therapy or medication is in my opinion, irresponsible and naive. To be clear, I'm not saying you can't be a parent if you've got mental health concerns. Just that it would be responsible to work on addressing any mental health concerns you do have.
I feel like I need to step away from their channel because they are going to continue to behave in this way because they are continuing to be reinforced by brands gifting them items and followers continuing to give them views which reinforces the brands gifting items! And I'm feeling more and more resentful towards them for the lifestyle they're living, which just feels worlds and worlds apart from mine, and their relatability was what drew me to their channel in the first place!
I’ve never posted before but I’ve watched Carys for a long time, and over the past year and a half or so, I just feel as though they’ve changed so much and sadly I’m no longer really interested in watching them.
I really do hope that James and Carys might read here and take what I say seriously. I've commented on videos before and my comments just got deleted.
I have been watching them for around 2 years now and I have also watched their earlier videos when I first discovered them. I found Carys to be really refreshing and engaging.
I think Carys displays a lot of ADHD symptoms. This is much more noticeable in her earlier videos, for example; Forgetfulness, driving back to uni and forgetting key, losing items needed to do a job, unable to filter out irrelevant information whilst telling a story/having a conversation, goes off on tangents whilst talking and forgets to finish sentences, quite disorganised and lives in messy spaces, go through phases of being organised and together and then unable to keep it up and it falls apart and back to being disorganised, very excitable and little self regulation, lots of bouncy exaggerated movement and speech. She also seems to have some amount of emotional dysregulation, where she struggles to regulate her emotions and reactions well and has dramatic responses and dramatic reactions to seemingly normal things. She appears to feel very intensely and deeply. If you watch her video on being a psycho girlfriend and their “ttc” video, she talks about her obsessive behaviours and extreme reactions.
ADHD comes with comorbidities - such as anxiety and depression, particularly in undiagnosed females (females are very under diagnosed and tend to have more inattentive symptoms (internal hyperactivity instead) and be conditioned by society to be less hyperactive with more internal restlessness (not always the case of course). Carys is very open about her struggles with anxiety.
People with ADHD are stimulation seeking (always looking for dopamine hits because of the difference in how the brain functions). They often have lots of new hobbies and fads as novelty creates big dopamine hits, but they may struggle to complete projects once the initial novelty wears off and find new hobbies to meet that need for stimulation.
Carys says she has an ‘obsessive personality’. She has lots of hobbies/fads which give huge dopamine hits, she then loses interest and finds a new 'hobby'. Some of the habits I notice in Carys that appear to be stimulation seeking (dopamine hit) behaviours are:-
Fitness
Crafting
Posting videos/pictures of her very exposed body and receiving positive feedback from viewers
Getting a dog
DIY
Shopping/being gifted new items
Eating out lots
Having takeaways
Renovations
Decorating the house
Decorating the house for different seasons/events
Buying a house
Trying to conceive a baby
Pregnancy
Idea of future baby
Seeking dopamine hits through views, likes, comments online (also engagement helps build her followers and reaches out to brands for being gifted items)
Not being organised enough to do things like meal prep with a shopping list and do a food shop can mean they end up relying on take aways and meals out and this can more or less mask/fix the problem which is really a symptom. Being obsessed with cleaning and tidying one small area of the house when there is actually a huge pile of mess upstairs that needs to be dealt with.
Excessive use of social media exacerbates ADHD symptoms, encourages hyper focus and inattention, constant distractions to keep you hooked on social media and increase anxiety, distractibility.
The things people with ADHD are disinterested in take a hit because they can’t hold their attention well because of how the brain functions. (Part of me wonders if she has handed over responsibility to another person for video editing because she accidentally showed a private area in a try on haul a few years ago and the pervs on Reddit screen grabbed it - their behaviour is abhorrent and sickening).
People with ADHD are usually highly creative and entrepreneurial. She has set up her own business based on herself and her life.
They are also more likely to engage in risk taking behaviour. Such as leaving uni to pursue self employed YouTube career. Always rushing into the next new thing, not thinking things through before making the decision and so having to fix the problem later on.
Choosing to study maths at university (same uni and course as James) when Carys is a highly creative person who appears to have little interest in the more process and procedure side of the business and more on the content and creation.
Rushing into huge life decisions such as decision to buy one of the first houses they saw when there is actually quite a lot that they would like to change about it and hadn’t really considered what that might entail (huge cost estimates due to structural requirements of moving a load bearing wall which has put a complete halt on the idea).
Rushing to have a baby without really coming across as actually having thought about the real life practicalities of having a child (at least if they have had these discussions it hasn’t been posted online).
People with ADHD struggle to have routine and structure and desperately need it but dislike it at the same time. Her lifestyle lacks routine and structure which can exacerbate difficulties of ADHD. She struggles to have any kind of regular routine. She posted a video last year trying to keep up 3 goals, walk Mila daily, cook her own meals and go to the gym. From what they choose to put online, it appears she has struggled to keep that up. She talks about how much routines help her but struggles to maintain them. She said James was up until 3am a few months ago and Carys was still awake?! I get that you can work flexibly when you’re self employed and running your own business but there’s so much research about regular sleep patterns being conducive to good health.
ADHD affects the relationships we choose. Sometimes being in a relationship with someone who makes all the decisions is easier.
I used to really like Carys and James. I found them relatable and interesting. I think over the last year or so (since they married and moved house really) they have become really ‘lazy’ with their content and it no longer appeals to me. I kept watching for a while because I liked them both and I think they were very genuine people at one point but I feel like we have really diverged in our paths in life.
I’m absolutely grafting to earn very little in life but I love what I do and I’ll keep on grafting and hope that I make it. It’s really frustrating to see James and Carys be gifted so much stuff and live such a luxurious lifestyle and it’s really making me feel resentful. They say how grateful they are but they don’t act grateful in their future behaviour (continue to be accepting gifted whopping amounts and spend obscene amounts of money) and I don’t really feel like we have much in common any more, like they’re losing touch with the lifestyle that so many of their followers live. An ordinary and normal non influencer lifestyle! And the fact that they just lap it up with what seems like minimal effort on their part makes it feel even worse.
I think everyone has the right to live in their relationship the way that they want to live, however, I feel as though the way Carys and James’s relationship is has left them really out of touch with reality and with how most people exist in relationships. They are completely co-dependent upon one another, it seems more like Carys is the one who is dependent on James.
I find that Carys seems to make herself out to be a lot more naive than she actually is. I’m unsure whether this is in an attempt to seem ditsy and relatable.
I have inattentive ADHD. I really don’t have a problem with having ADHD, if that might be what is going on for Carys. My issue is a massive change in the type of content they are putting out there, the lack of care towards a lot of their viewers who originally started watching them whilst they were putting out completely different and frankly quite ‘lazy’ content, particularly in light that most of Carys’ followers probably began following her during her fitness days, have maybe stayed around for her personality, but for me her personality really seems to be drifting away from the Carys I feel like I thought I knew, their general attitude about their lifestyle and what feels like lip service in saying how grateful they feel about the financial and societal position they are in. Also their engagement via instagram and tagging brands appears to be a common behaviour amongst influencers in order to alert the brands they are interested in them in the hope that they will be gifted the items they would like. And that really doesn't sit right with me!
What I would really like to see from them (wishful thinking) is:-
Prioritising the quality of their content over the quantity.
A wider variety of content.
Less of the overt showing off of their gifted items.
Less of the obsessive content and take some perspective that the world isn’t revolving around Carys being pregnant
Also why hasn’t she sought help with her anxiety? Her behaviours are not normal and whilst it’s important to self love, let’s be real, anxiety can be crippling, bringing a baby into a world of parental anxiety without having tried to address it via either therapy or medication is in my opinion, irresponsible and naive. To be clear, I'm not saying you can't be a parent if you've got mental health concerns. Just that it would be responsible to work on addressing any mental health concerns you do have.
I feel like I need to step away from their channel because they are going to continue to behave in this way because they are continuing to be reinforced by brands gifting them items and followers continuing to give them views which reinforces the brands gifting items! And I'm feeling more and more resentful towards them for the lifestyle they're living, which just feels worlds and worlds apart from mine, and their relatability was what drew me to their channel in the first place!
) 
I was on the stair master next to her and all she was doing was scrolling on her phone and videoing herself. I just needed to get that off my chest haha!
walk dog, send two emails, clean sofa (shouldn’t have got a white sofa if you have a dog and baby on the way idiots), tidy nursery (an empty room), pelvic floor exercises, hoover. Imagine life being so simple. She may as well add eat lunch, wipe arse, watch a film. Not sure why she needs to write these things down them but hey ho, we can’t all live the life of luxury like Carys.
