Jack Monroe #548 Recipes that come with a side of electrocution and burnt down house for pudding

[Sideboard Bob]

Curry’s should put out a statement saying something like -


“We didn’t break the fryer,

it was Big Dave’s daughter, when she added water”

 

[MancBee]

Oh here’s another bit of Gloss timeline Cosplay mithering too.

Spoiler: 2016 this time: check out the dates

View attachment 2529489View attachment 2529475View attachment 2529470and on September 10th View attachment 2529473View attachment 2529474Nine days later View attachment 2529460and View attachment 2529461View attachment 2529463

Still cosplaying in 2017. Dressed up for The Gays and dressed up for The Glossers. Oh, and for the media
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October 19th 2017
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Spoiler: LOLZ

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I am going to swear, and you all know how fuming I must be...

How the FUCKETY FUCK has she got away with this shit for so long. She didn't even make any efforts to try and hide that fact that she was lying.

I am getting angry that even if her grift has now come to an end, she hasn't been held accountable for all the deceit, fraud and deception that she has carried out for over 10 years.

All those that colluded are culpable too. There is no way that people close to her didn't know. There's no way that the media didn't at least check her social media. The whole lot of them are responsible for the swindling of people, some far, far poorer than Jack.

They should all be ashamed.

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

It’s just horrible. When I was much more pov I’d start my Xmas shopping in August and get nice bits, like wooden tea/food sets, brio trains etc, a bit at a time and put off the water bill. Like any parent I’ve made mistakes along the way but I hope none of my kids have ever felt like they didn’t deserve nice things.
I feel sad now.

Around the time she was bringing in a fuckton of money from her call centre work, I saved the equivalent of a tenner a week for Christmas (child benefit came in on a Tuesday and £20 a fortnight went straight into savings straight after paying rent and bills - £2 extra on each bill also meant I had a little leeway in January if I needed to bump the gas for a couple of weeks). It meant that by October, I was stashing things in the coal bunker in front of the knackered Christmas tree and behind the 5kg bags of cat litter, pasta, rice and the vacuum cleaner. By November, foodstuffs were in there instead, hidden behind a wall made of two jumbo boxes of Fairy, a big bottle of commercial Comfort Pure and a shit ton of cat food - the presents had migrated to the deepest recesses of the back of my wardrobe, where no child dared approach from half term onwards.

There was also the notebook. The one that had the reckoning - four columns listing everything I'd bought for each with a running total to make sure I hadn't overspent on one at the expense of the other - along with the food planning and ideas for decorations they could make.

The one thing they were always guaranteed was that the Christmas period never had me refusing them a reasonable request. Want hot chocolate? No problem. Want to go to the Carol Service? Of course. Want to make sparkly shit on cardboard to dangle over the raggedy old tree and paper chains everywhere? Absolutely. Want to put the cat into a set of homemade angel wings to point and laugh at him whilst the other one is wearing a hanky headscarf because you're doing your own Nativity? As long as you don't use Superglue to attach them, go ahead, he's daft enough to sit there and let you, after all, so probably deserves it.

There was no way on Earth I'd pompously lecture them about there being other children in the world without that stuff as an excuse for not bothering to get them decent presents (whilst buying myself all manner of expensive shite).


It was manageable.

 

[griftalo]

---

The first picture is so silly it looks like she has a horse’s mane. I would come up with a joke about horse spunk lasagne but I’m EXHAUSTED

That’s what “came” to my mind too.

 

[SleevelessSlopSlinger]

“Mum can we have Ruby Rose?”

“no, we’ve got Ruby Rose at home!”

Ruby Rose at home:

she’s basically what you’d get if you ordered Ruby Rose from Temu

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Thread title nominated by @I'm not actually here from a squig on Jack's timeline. You, and the squig, each win a fire safety assessment of your home and the first thing they'll tell you is "don't pour liquid into the air fryer"

Recap: Much was made, both by the canal and squigs on Xwitter, of guest's very dangerous suggestion for air fryer recipes that involve pouring liquid into the machine. One frau called Currys to check and was outright told that yes, this is a serious fire hazard! Guest's local paper, the Southend Echo also published a short article about this. A suspiciously Davish-sounding fan of guest commented defending her, and received this reply:

"Ease up, Dave. Just come and get yo girl."

The food writer we call Trifle Defender also called out guest's desire to burn your house down.

A local frau in Southend shared some tea about how guest has been trying to reintegrate herself into the community and taking advantage of some nice people who should know better, however the frau was confident this won't go anywhere as too many people are now wise to guest's ways.

We reminisced about the time she totes did not have lip fillers, she'd just eaten some Pringles.

To sum up, as a nameless squig put it:

 

[MancBee]

All this time she spent dicking about with makeup, redoing her hair, making hair flower garlands, playing dress up, chatting shit on social media, buying dresses, spending a small fortune on makeup, jewellery and furniture, shifting furniture about, playing at crafts, poking holes in tin cans, etc. etc.

When did she manage to fit in the 80 hours work a week that she supposedly did.

It is funny, until you realise she was scamming people thousands of pounds a month to enable her to tit around all day doing exactly what she wanted. All while dating wealthy partners who colluded with her and allowed her to swindle well meaning, if gullible, people.

When you remember the fraudulent way she has conned people out of a small fortune, all while frittering away other peoples money, then laughter turns to anger.

 

[SweetTransvestite]

Lads, you may remember on 8th March 2023, this happened

Well, I went back yesterday and..

It's STILL fucking there (and yes, it's the same one as I carefully, gently and tenderly had folded a corner down)
Lol. Exciting times.

 

[MancBee]

Today I was talking to a neighbour and called her Sinead by mistake and she corrected me saying "my name is Siobhan".

I replied "no problem, all Irish names are interchangeable". She looked puzzled (obviously not a Frau) and I've promised to explain tomorrow over a coffee.

Where the **** do I sart?

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Jack! you’re up for the part of Dick Van Dyke the Chimney Sweep in the Mary Poppins remake!

Spoiler

Jack! You’re in charge of the guest list for the local Am Dram production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream!

Spoiler

Jack! you’re one of Dexy’s Midnight Runners who’s just been on a massive 3 day bender after filming the video for your latest single!

Spoiler

Jack! the single’s gone to Number One in the Charts! In AUSTRALIA !!!

Spoiler

FFS

Seriously, what a fucking attention seeking pointless vacuous berk.

 

[Mrs Peel]

Lads...

The Air Fryer Risotto recipe seems to have disappeared from the Currys website

https://www.currys.co.uk/techtalk/k...s-reviews/jack-munroes-ninja-foodi-feast.html

 

[Tarragon]

Sorry, haven’t read the full thread, it runs far too quick for me lol.

I was listening to a regular podcast ‘Standard Issue’ and they were talking about grifters, mainly Captain Tom’s daughter. But then one of the presenters mentioned JM and pretty much said, she’s a grifter, can’t understand how giving her money helps anyone in poverty!

 

[SouthendRealEstate]

Speaking of, here’s 2015. Tradwifing it up with Leggy and then AFTER Leggy. Spot the difference.

Spoiler

View attachment 2533100View attachment 2533102View attachment 2533121View attachment 2533103View attachment 2533076View attachment 2533073View attachment 2533108View attachment 2533104and after Leggy (this first one just 2 weeks after they split, already glomming on to a new source of £££- and the month after the one above was taken)
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Cosplaying Cunt. Looking at the pics of her when she was engaged to Louisa in 2019 and Leggy in 2015 it’s amazing how vanilla she gets when she has a rich Sugarmama in the bag.

Presented without comment

 

[Trauma Frotters]

I am with those who don't see any obligation for TD to stick her head above the parapet and denounce Jack publicly. I enjoyed her sneaky digs to be honest and had no problem with her playing to tattle a little. In fact I am sure she posts here *cuts eyes to side dramatically* the flying monkeys tried to damage dissenting voices in real life, I don't blame anyone for avoiding that.

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

The Essex grifting Queen is dead ..... long live the Queen. Textbook stuff with the 'only if you can afford it' disclaimer included.


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It raised over a grand in 15 minutes for a cat whose owner couldn’t be fucked to insure it, so just imagine how much Jack raised to sue the near-universally loathed Lee Anderson in the year she claimed she was suing him.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Presented without comment

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Jack Monroe: basically a chilled out entertainer

 

[Hold my beans]

Jack papped leaving Southend Currys

 

[MancBee]

I'm curious as to what options Guest has open to her to come back into the public eye.

Attempting to return to the world of food is also probably a bust. The Curry's debacle could have been a good start, but it has been a real fuck up although absolutely typical for her - shit recipes that don't work and sound disgusting, with a side order of peril. It goes to show that even when she's given an opportunity to get back into the field she apparently cares about so much, she fucks it due to laziness and unprofessionalism. TV is also a no-go due to her lack of talent, charisma and reliability, coupled with her unprofessionalism, egocentrism and dreadful reputation.

I think we can safely assume her name is mud/a laughing stock in the food community. She's not getting any writing gigs. There's enough dodginess due to Sue Lee and questions about her ever-changing backstory (coupled with the Shattenstone article) to torpedo her credibility as a poverty 'expert'. Plus combined with the fact she has no actual knowledge of what's going on right now or accurate sources of help and support, and can only bleat on about the time when she was THRUST into poverty over a decade ago, or ghoulish baiting about DEAD shoplifting grandpas surviving on toothpaste or something.

She tried the drugs'n'sideboards mea culpa in the Grauniad at the beginning of 2023, but it only served to highlight what an appalling grifter she is. And it certainly didn't make people feel sympathetic towards her. I don't know how much more she could reveal without exposing a lot more of her lies and grift to the point where it's genuinely uncomfortable and damaging for the people around her.

Every single thing she has tried to do - from food to writing to campaigning to even just being hard up (and being a Stone Dyke lesbian, blurgh) - there are people coming through who are nicer, more talented, more professional, more knowledgeable, more authentic, more humble and more honest.

Personally, I'm glad she's off social media. I'd like to see her out of the media forever as she doesn't deserve a place in the spotlight. She had it, and she used it for nothing but boosting her own ego and bank account while claiming to be on the side of the poor. Every time Jack's voice is amplified she's honking over someone with actual knowledge, expertise or lived experience.

I hope she gets an actual job where she can develop some skills before it's too late, reconnect with her son and wider family, sort out her health and mental wellbeing, and do some actual good in the world without it all being about buffing her monstrous ego or the usual pack of lies.

Oh, and close your Patreon, you lying grifter.

I can imagine it all in 10 years time, Jack still desperate for fame. She rings the Guardian with a promise of a scoop. Nobody in the office have ever heard of her, but Mable, the cleaner said she remembers a strange looking woman with a man's name that used to hang around a few years back. They decide to send someone out to check what it's all about ...

They send a young journalist straight from college to interview her for a comeback article. The door to the now crumbling bungamansion is ajar. The young journalist pushes the door open and walks in to the hall, then through to the inner hall, and finally through to the rear hall before exclaiming "bugger me, a bungalow with stairs!"

Just at that moment, Jack appears at the top of the stairs, dressed like an aging 50's movie star (it was a new style she was attempting to pull off unsuccessfully.)

The journalist calls out to Jack "I think I recognise you now, aren't you Jack? You used to be big."

Jack growls "I am big. It's the newspapers that got small"

 

[MancBee]

Audible gasps can be heard all over the land.

this is like when Mr Laz calls me my Sunday full birth name

Yeah, everyone’s just whistling tunelessly, scuffing their foot on the ground and pretending it didn’t happen

Normal service has resumed. I am just at breaking point again. Probably in need of a break from here, but I can't leave you lot alone. You are all so funny, insightful, compassionate, informative and so much more. I miss you all when I take a break.

 

[MavisBeacon]

Nice to see the Southend on Sea Facebook group (68,000 followers) sharing that important safety announcement in the local paper: