I'll be very disappointed if she doesn't tell us some sort of Big Dave-related christmas tale. Surely he'll be yelling "Вся власть Советам!" after a few sherries? Or firing artillery at a tree-hating council jobsworth?
Jack Monroe #441 Congratulations on dispatching items you sold
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Yes Jackie but....
You don't like alcohol being "waved in your face" when you do your online grocery shop on your old Nokia or whatever, but if it's an awards ceremony with alcoholic drinks in abundance, you seem to manage to attend without mentioning it at all.
I’m in a fucker of a mood.
These tweets
a) are balls. I never buy alcohol online. Haven’t for over a decade and never, ever get suggestions for alcohol.
b) should have a TW for some parts. She throws around the times she has been close to suicide and if SB actually does google her Twitter then putting this stuff out there is harmful.
c) she thinks she’s untouchable. She thinks she’s owed the world. I might be feeling tit but I am so glad I don’t feel the need to tweet my life like she does for those sweet synaptic hits.
I’m putting these here but it’s tit. Should she be tweeting this (these follow on from finding the alcohol free ones for her meeting- assume the AA one)?
Stop being a bleeping twit. I hate you so much right now. Like, so, so much.
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20 minutes and a migraine. For Christ sake duck off Jack
And lying and make believe fantasies.
Just checked the box of my bog standard co-op mince pies and they don’t have alcohol in them. There you go Jack, get yourself to the co-op!
I have been genuinely BUSY (10 hr shift then fighting the unwashed masses in Tesco for a decent sized chicken. Will scroll back and catch up soon so sorry if this has been mentioned. Last thing I knew there was some Grocer award/poll chaos last night.
Are you really popping darn to the old pie and mash shop, Jack <insert Mary Sloppins fool Van Dyke gif and accent here>
What was all the balls about your delivery to the wrong address, giving the food away to friends because you're not doing the Christmas food, now redirected back to your house but you're having jellied eels pie and liquor for your renegade dinner? Your lies are mentally exhausting on top of a hard day at work.
Somebody pour me a bucket of gin please, I'm sure it will all make sense after that.
I’m out screenshotting peeps. Those last set of tweets has started a rage. She’s still going.
xxx
xxx
So yesterday, he got to carry his mother's xmas shopping (none for him teehee) then help her prepare for an AA meeting. Such fun.
Where was he last night during the meeting?
Did he go all the way home, then come all the way back this afternoon (couldn't have been earlier as she was planning the 3 hour round trip ocado yomp) ?
To listen to her talk to a friend for 2 hours and tweet tit before watching her play freeonlinewhatever "with him"?
And she's been tweeting ever since? So has he gone home again or is he quietly playing with artfully arranged baskets in his/mamapapa's downsizing room?
My head hurts.
Where was he last night during the meeting?
Did he go all the way home, then come all the way back this afternoon (couldn't have been earlier as she was planning the 3 hour round trip ocado yomp) ?
To listen to her talk to a friend for 2 hours and tweet tit before watching her play freeonlinewhatever "with him"?
And she's been tweeting ever since? So has he gone home again or is he quietly playing with artfully arranged baskets in his/mamapapa's downsizing room?
My head hurts.
Is there any greater marker of a bleep than someone who uses folks to end a sentence.
No you're not. We know it, you know it, so why bother making an empty promise in the first place?
‘Grunting’ lolololol settle down burger boy
She does have a point about not being able to filter out or even just highlight alcohol-containing products. This is from Ocado - all the potential allergens are highlighted, but not the cider or cognac:
And this is where you set up your filters - alcohol isn't listed as an option:
This might actually be the first time I've seen her make a reasonable point on Twitter, even if she's wrapped it in layers of bitter snark. I'm a little shocked...
And this is where you set up your filters - alcohol isn't listed as an option:
This might actually be the first time I've seen her make a reasonable point on Twitter, even if she's wrapped it in layers of bitter snark. I'm a little shocked...
No alcohol detected in my Tesco mince pies either. It's almost as if Jack is lying again.
I'm beginning to think that the numerous references are a preparatory excuse for an inevitable fail (she fought so hard but the whole world was determined to bring her down. Her, specifically, because she's special and famous) over the coming xmas week.
She already changed the bio- which I took for a implied wagonfall as sober technically only means sober again today.
AAAAGH! whole box of mince pies like a naughty unsupervised labrador who will need an emergency trip to the vet.
Don't forget to tweet Jack, that grapes/raisins can poison dogs and that your comment wasn't based on any real event- in fact you were just trying to wind us up and it worked (insert Trump smirk)
She already changed the bio- which I took for a implied wagonfall as sober technically only means sober again today.
AAAAGH! whole box of mince pies like a naughty unsupervised labrador who will need an emergency trip to the vet.
Don't forget to tweet Jack, that grapes/raisins can poison dogs and that your comment wasn't based on any real event- in fact you were just trying to wind us up and it worked (insert Trump smirk)
FIFY Jack 
Is this part of the recovery Jack reappearance for the guardian article and speaking circuit?
This! and I bet you a million to one, the child would pick pizza
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