Jack Monroe #44 Spoiler

[Silver Linings]

I can’t believe i’ve just watched a 9 second video of her hand opening and closing a door. I need to get a life.

 

[crystaleyesd]

She’s like those really annoying girls at school, who think they’re really quirky and different, but don’t realise everyone else avoids them and eyerolls as they jump from one cause to another!

Another acronym for you fraus: NLOG, which means 'not like other girls' - something that Jack works HARD. Ooh I eat SO much food but I'm stick thin thanks to my meds, I'm sweary and have tattoos but I'm also conventionally attractive, I just don't give a fuuuuuck what you think but I'm desperate to be liked!

 

[MrsOgre]

These people walk among us

 

[chocolate choux]

Who’s keeping the list of the luxury shite she could flog before begging for donations? I’ve found a £170 addition

 

[Saint_clemmie]

I think she gave herself away when she said Miguel Barclay was 'all up in her niche' on the first Hellmans instalive. She sees this 'poor' thing as her niche which she cannot break away from. Even though she could still sell her books targeted towards that market without still claiming to be poor herself. It's nonsensical and insincere.

That “all up in my niche” comment was shocking. She insinuated live on Instagram that she was gutted Miguel was a nice bloke because she wanted to hate him since he’s “all up in her niche”. If that doesn’t show her true character I don’t know what does.
Miguel is close to being a household name for his simple £1 meals niche, I know nothing else about him which is fine, I don’t need to to know what he’s about. Does he have a struggling background? Does it matter if he does?
Jack could have easily elevated her niche of cooking cheaply and made it into a decent brand, however she’s fucked herself so many times with her shit personality, exaggerated back story and controversial behaviour. I just can’t understand why shes consistently stood in her own way.

-quick edit on the subject of Louisa, I want to like her but I can’t for the life of me understand how anyone with an ounce of integrity can live with someone who rattled her tip jar and pleads poverty so regularly. Somethings not right there?

 

[Anonymous One]

Thanks guys. My only complaint about the cabal is that you keep making me buy ice lollies and my freezer is already full.

 

[MancBee]

She really hasn't got the kittens best interest at heart. "I love this tiny one so much". If you did you would take the advice of three vets. Do not allow it to suffer a moment longer just to satisfy your need to love something. "I" love this one, no thought to the needs of the cat, all about her selfish desires me me me me me. You've got something to love, your child. Go love your son.

 

[Pocahontas]

She’s still being tagged in so many conversations about DW, she must be so irritated.

If she started the fire she needs to handle the smoke.

shit, I totally forgot about the no gifs rule
Ah, too late - I’ll leave Channing there.

 

[chocolate choux]

I've told my OH I'm on a forum that holds "slebs" (?!) to account. He's not that interested but for God's sake, he's on a plastering forum and is always telling me about what goes on over there.

He's not a plasterer.

*insert some sort of shugging gif here*

A plastering forum? What does go on over there?

Cannot judge as I snoop on a swinging forum (I’m not a swinger) but it’s obviously been awfully quiet during lockdown

 

[LennyBriscoe]

I’ve been thinking about class reading all your replies, maybe it’s a Scottish thing but it certainly doesn’t seem to be as obvious up here? Sure someone will correct me. I am a very strange mix, my Dad grew up WC in a Council house but had a good job. My Mum grew up MC by virtue of her Dad owning a shop and they lived in a nice suburb. Parents married and bought a house in nice MC area.
Terrible separation due to addiction and DV and Mum left and had to rent. So we lived in a rented property that was freezing, sleeping in clothes and me staying wherever I could so my Mum could work full time to keep our heads above water. Sorry all sounds a bit JM, I know! Back in those days no money was required to be paid by Dad (still holding down good job) so he didn’t.

Over the years Mum was promoted again and again and became an Area Director in her field. I’ve been so lucky to have such a strong female role model. I reckon I’m likely MC but no Uni for me as Mum couldn’t afford it, and no Land Rover as we couldn’t afford a car! My lovely Grandpa did take me to dance lessons though

Sorry for the essay but that is why I get annoyed at JM, just get on with it. My Mum did, back in the day when there was no financial or care support. She worked hard and made really nice food from not much, always inspired by the books she loved Elizabeth David etc

I completely agree BB; I never even thought what class I was until we started talking about it here.

I was chuckling away at myself earlier when folks were talking about triangulating and not wanting to say too much about where they are....and I’m in the corner going “Aberdeen let’s make some NOISE”

 

[acca00]

I think this kitten is all about Louisa. She has posted the creepy kitten videos and photos, to get a reaction from Louisa. Nothing. Then she tagged Louisa in a Tweet, swiftly deleted. Again, nothing. Then she starts posting a photo, copying Louisa's photo. That doesn't work.

She cannot accept that Louisa has left her and rejected her.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Thanks! The 4 minutes of rambling before the singing is quite something.

nonononono my own anxiety couldn’t take the preamble on the other one and now I’m too nosey not to try this one too

edit to add - no one else introduces themselves like this!? Hi it’s me Alansbigplate; tattler, depressive, mum, partridge fan

 

[Silver Linings]

Sigh.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

My husband is aware I’m on here but I can’t remember what I told him about it. Im
a little embarrassed about it but I don’t know why? Sali Hughes brought me here with her Freaky Friday video, fell into the MOD/FOD threads and then discovered the gift that keeps on giving that is our Jack.

I'm quite a loner by nature and like others have a small group of friends but I’m not one for catch ups over the phone and I’m terrible at messaging people. Tattle has been wonderful for keeping me distracted and amused in these challenging times. You’re all so wonderfully articulate, hilarious and compassionate and I’ve actually learnt quite a lot from being here.

I for one love this cabal

My husband knows I’m on here. I only found Tattle when Pip Schofield came out and when I searched for the goss, Tattle came up. I’ve told him (husband, not Pip) about some of the conspiracy theories and celeb gossip and he saw JM on DKL. He just kept saying “Why is she moving around so much?” and “Why does she keep laughing all the time?”

I’d never been on any forum before but I love it here. This thread in particular. I keep my hand in to a few others including Mrs Meldrum who doesn’t live that far from me - who knew all that was going on on my doorstep .

I’ve said it before how much I love this thread too. We’re bound by our disbelief at JM but it’s a safe space for people to open up, and there’s a real feeling of unity in trying to help others. I honestly wouldn’t have got through lockdown without my canal of hausfrau

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

Long post alert!

I remember, it was about seven or eight years ago now and I had a partner I lived with. She was off to meet her friends for a night and I drove her over to her friends house. Anyway, I pulled away and she rang me to say she’d left a bottle of wine in the car, could I come back? I was already in a bad mood and drove back, in the middle of the street and was so full of rage I called her a fucking twat infront of her friends. I don’t know why I did it, it was the annoyance also the fact I felt uncomfortable around her friends who I’d never had much to do with and it all got to me.

Still to this day I feel like such an idiot for saying it and it’s one of those moments I think about and cringe. That’s not me or who I am. But I think Jack lives in a constant state of this type of behaviour. She’s so full of rage, and when someone even replies the meekest of things she just unleashes this fury - imagine living with all of that rage, that passive aggressive nature, that lack of understanding or wanting to understand what’s going on in the world because the only opinion that matters is your own.

Jack is a narcissist. So it doesn’t matter how many tv chances or books or talking heads she is given she will always play the same character. She’s mimicking how people are supposed to feel during the episodes. So on TV, she was this giddy excited chef who couldn’t stop over talking because she was so nervous. Shes one of those people who believe the world revolves around her and what she wants, and she’s probably never had no said to her in her life. I’m still of the opinion she’s stuck at the age she was when she became famous, hence the American/child speak and the fact it’s either black or white with Jack, there isn’t an inbetween

She is 100% dead behind the eyes, and I’ve never used the word psychopath before to describe someone but she has to be on the spectrum somewhere. The whole keeping a pet alive that is in a lot of pain for your own pleasure and likes/selfies/cat porn is sick. Probably one of the most vile things I’ve discussed on a forum. I could write loads more, but that woman is in need of serious serious intervention and counselling.

 

[Flumps]

I’ve just had a trawl of her followers.
Undoubtedly she has some bonafida ‘blue ticks’, and regular Twitterers in the list
But she also has absolutely loads of people with zero tweets and zero followers.
Now call me cynical if you must, but once upon a time in a previous life I ‘bought’ a load of twitter followers to ‘boost’ a business I was managing. And guess what?
Every single one had no tweets and no followers.
Obviously I’m not saying that’s what she’s done.

Dude.. this is the JM version of saying Candyman into a mirror three times.

<insert gif of ducking for cover here>

I've grunka'd and lunka'd my way through the weekend of JM. I'm tired today, and am waiting for biopsy results, like a cat hopping about on too hot tiles, so forgive me if all I say about JM is that she seems to be developing a more casual relationship with the truth every day. And that everything to do with the poor little kitten makes me so sad.

Hello to all the lovely de-lurkers. I love it, you all sound so clever and witty, this is really the most lovely place.

 

[Passive_Aggressive_Lemon]

That’s a different bedroom than the one she normally takes pictures in. It’s got a different headboard and bedside cabinets.

I don’t believe the story about her Dad wanting her to be a doctor and that’s why she got the tattoo. I think she got it because of her honorary doctorate. Remember when she cos-played as a doctor for a bit and referred to herself as Dr Monroe?

ETA: My spelling is all over the place this morning

 

[Suprise!]

That traybake tortilla thing looks a bit dry to me, is it a savoury cake??

View attachment 179595
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It reminds me of Spongebob

 

[Flumps]

Flumps, amazing So happy for you and what a relief x x x

I am not clear how to react to this news, my other half thinks I am underwhelmed, I am just confused as in the past biopsies of that area have not brought good news. I feel like I feel *more* stressed than I did before. Weird. Am I ungrateful? Ever patient other half is going to take me for a walk (like a confused old dear I assume) in a bit, to help deal with all the random energy I am feeling, but I felt like I wanted to tell all you fraus as well.

Amazing amazing amazing news!!! Thank you for letting us know, have you got anything nice planned for the rest of your day to celebrate?!

A walk. An ice cream. Probably a nap. My lifestyle is not the rock n' roll thing it once was! x

 

[lilamay]

She'd best not look on Amazon best sellers then!

Or Waterstones!

Spoiler

It's at number 1