I have a cousin who used to dissolve fizzy vitamin c tablets in vodka. I wouldn’t recommend that either. I’m going to brunch in Southend tomorrow, I promise not to look out for Jack. Has she moved yet?
Jack Monroe #435 I am Jack
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The lovely Sarah Beanie’s brainchild I believe. (please no one have any bad tea on the Been I
Her)I just can’t believe she is moving. The whole saga would be PAINSTAKINGLY detailed on twatter. I reckon she’s been interventioned (
)
That’s not ‘this exact copy’ then is it? She has a new reprint. Tool.
@People-huv-tae-know -
India’s teenage daughter was born with DiGeorge syndrome which causes multiple issues including developmental delay. Joyce is not her father. Any woman with a vulnerable child who stays with a violent paedophile is an unfit mother imo. And if they were not so well connected, her daughter would have been taken into care.
But you’re not wrong! Of course, Jack has major issues differentiating between the original of something and a pales-by-comparison copy she claims is the same thing.
See “Tiffany Earrings”/“Etsy Dupes” and for that matter most/all of her “recipes” for further examples of this.
@Archduchess of Luxembourg I have a couple of pages to read but we are all kind of doing this on the Slopalong thread? I can't recall the total off the top of my head but I think we were close to £900 raised? For all sorts of charities, to offset some of the terribleness put out into the world by Jack's cooking. I'm going to make my donation closer to Christmas. Wouldn't be surprised if we hit £1000 soon xx
Yeah, I feel a bit silly - I haven't been keeping up with the Slopalong and didn't really realise about rhe donations as well!
As you were *blush*
Ah not even, there are so many threads to keep up with!
While she’s being boring, I went to see if she was being boring on this day in other years. She was being boring about mince pies on December 3rd 2021.
We also got a “Nnghhh”
Through all the mince pie prattle (there was a lot) she was also SOLDIERING ON just like my poor self, as she too was GRAVELY ILL with not-COVID, or what we like to call in these parts “a cold”.
@People-huv-tae-know was NOT being boring on 3rd December 2021, however and produced
December 3rd 2020, well, that’s a different matter. Fresh off a high of posting incessantly about crockery/crockery changeover day all day on 2nd, Jack continued discussing crockery on the 3rd.
Crockery marauding all over the house like pandas on crack or badgers. No doubt this was a cacophony of marauding cutlery, would only the Twitter word count oblige.
Things took a terrible turn from tedium to trauma (for innocent Fraus) however when “crushingly low self esteem” Jack who had a camera crew at the crappy bungalow posted THIS selfie later on Dec 3rd 2020.
ETA for OG fraus who wish to avoid revisiting, I say to ye “young Sally Fields”
We also got a “Nnghhh”
@People-huv-tae-know was NOT being boring on 3rd December 2021, however and produced
Crockery marauding all over the house like pandas on crack or badgers. No doubt this was a cacophony of marauding cutlery, would only the Twitter word count oblige.
Things took a terrible turn from tedium to trauma (for innocent Fraus) however when “crushingly low self esteem” Jack who had a camera crew at the crappy bungalow posted THIS selfie later on Dec 3rd 2020.
ETA for OG fraus who wish to avoid revisiting, I say to ye “young Sally Fields”
”Oh, Hi Louisa”
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Georgia Church Suppers all over again.
LJC! It couldn't have been any worse if she had cut it herself. In the dark.
I understand she lives wit’s her father
Has she documented any of her seasonal crockery change-overs since then? Or has a combination of her 120 hour work week, crumbling teeth, and ouchy mentals forced her to use her winter bowls ever since?
If so, it's no wonder that she's posted so few recipes in the past couple of years - could you imagine the furore on twitter if she were seen to be using her christmas crockery in the middle of the summer?
Never mind Jack, you're back in season now... so get slopping!
Thank you everyone for liking my little pastiche! I may have used up all my ideas but if many of you like Austen I am happy to give it another go sometime, perhaps an alternative-Austenverse summary of what Jack gets up to next? Disclaimer: I only really know Emma and Pride and Prej very well.
Ruddy hell, Vali, FOUR warnings next time, PLEASE.
Inspired by the December 3rd one-year anniversary of mince pie prattle, I went looking for Jack’s many, MANY
Mince pie crumble, still on her blog. Made for the One Show but everyone LOVED IT SO MUCH it’s ALL GONE!
Mince pie and cheese toastie for lucky lucky Mrs J
“Medieval mince meat” for mince pies
mince pie donuts
“Four ingredient (fizzy mince pie) Christmas cake”. Sadly lost to the mists of time, but I found the YUMMY ingredients online
mince pie pancakes
Mince pie golden porridge
Foolproof Mince pie Camembert doughball wreath
Finally, an actual mince pie she’s attempting to pass off as her own. I refuse to believe she made this.
Mince pie and cheese toastie for lucky lucky Mrs J
mince pie donuts
“Four ingredient (fizzy mince pie) Christmas cake”. Sadly lost to the mists of time, but I found the YUMMY ingredients online
mince pie pancakes
Mince pie golden porridge
Finally, an actual mince pie she’s attempting to pass off as her own. I refuse to believe she made this.
Sat listening to the nutcracker and mooching on here in-between laundry runs and putting the decorations up. This has de-Christmassified me - immediately!
I asked OpenAI to write a jack monroe recipe, she's so boring right now.
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It’s Thelma from the Likely Lads and you cannot tell me differently. WARNED.
Mince pies are shyte.
I said what I said.
I said what I said.
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