Jack Monroe #378 Where can I lodge a complaint about Jack Monroe?

[Marmalade Atkins]

I drew an apple tree!


ETA

 

[jenny2603]

Come on now I suppose we are a bit jealous. I mean, generally the first thing I want after really amazing sex is to go online and say a man just bought me a massive burger, then shagged me for SIX HOURS in your face HATERZ. I bet none of you have had MASSIVE BURGERS AND SEX LIKE I DO ALL THE TIME. WHENEVER I WANT IF HE'S NOT ON SHIFT MASSIVE BURGERS, SEX. BOOM! THIS IS MY LIFE. WILD.

 

[Orphan_Black]

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[Slop n slide]

Fellow fraus, allow me to introduce myself and my origin story. I sit here with a FRAU IN REAL LIFE (FIRL) Wine has been consumed. We have been a-grunking and delving the (literal) depths of JM YT (YouTube). I discovered her a good few years back being an avid Graun reader and felt inspired by her no-BS (lol) approach to cooking and poverty. I was moved by her story. I made her soggy salad pesto (it tasted like soggy salad, it did not taste like pesto). I followed her on Twitter and was often moved by her chaoses and numerous ailments, until there were too many chaoses and ailments for any reasonable squig to truly swallow (unlike her slop, which must slide down with no resistance (see my username (sorry for brackets in brackets in brackets (wine))). I mentioned to a friend (the FIRL!) and we never discussed it again. Until recently she mentioned in passing the tattle thread. I’d long since left twitter and JM was no longer on my radar. I lurked on here for the past 2 weeks and my rage reaction to her lies was reignited. I’ve watched the stinking pile of lies and performative poverty ever since with equal revulsion and fascination. I’m here to stay. Dear Fraus, and I hope you don’t mind me referring to myself as one so early on in this journey, you are FUCKING funny, you present a welcome distraction from the shit show that is the world right now, and for that I thank (space) you. Sorry if I centred myself here, I’ve learnt from YOU KNOW WHO.

 

[Justacatindisguise]

 

[sleepingsatellite]

She is absolutely drowning on social media. No idea how to deal with the tide turning on people's perception of her.

It’s quite the sight to behold.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Twelve hours later...

 

[SarcasticEllis]

Fucking hell. Some respect for your son there eh Jack

 

[ChickenPorridge]

A 6 hour bonk-up and then another few hours spewing bile on Twitter. Oh Fraus, if only we could know love like that

 

[Tin Can Crook]

Academic squig is taking no shit

 

[Justacatindisguise]

OH GOD I WAS LOOKING AT THE PROTEIN IN OATS AND CAME BACK TO JACK TALKING ABOUT GETTING LAID. PASS ME A RUSTY SPOON I'M DONE WITH HAVING EYES.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Jack when someone gives her a lift back from the supermarket -

 

[jenny2603]

Good God, what a grunk! Still trapped in hospital lads (mainly a precaution- should be fine) and have had visitors popping in during this most splendid chaos which is lovely but you know...
I might be getting out tomorrow depending on tests but I don't know if I can leave with all THIS going on. I know NHS resources are scarce but can I keep up with the chaos when I'm back out in the wild? They need to find me a little frau ward or something because this is a lot.

 

[GrannyOgg]

The academic is now subject to a pile on. WFT is wrong with these people. They don’t want to debate, they just want to destroy.

 

[Falkor]

Thread title courtesy of a squig, nominated by @Semi_literate_bot

Welcome to any new readers of the Jack Monroe threads, you join us in the middle of one of Jack's regular chaoses. We'd recommend you have a quick look at the Wiki (the pink button at the top) which will bring you up to speed on some of the in-jokes and shorthand.

Jack started the day asking whether you could install a gas cooker in place of a radiator, breadcrumbed an overnight guest, did some big maths about how much it costs to run a fridge freezer, demonstrated a total lack of knowledge about voltage, claimed to have been brought up in a tiny one-bed flat, claimed that Big Dave had to hitchhike to work as a fireman, took on Kirsty Strickland only after Kirsty publicly said she'd muted the thread and has generally been spewing random shite all over Twitter. I'm sure there's actually more, but those are my personal highlights from today.

Please use 'thread title' when nominating one and no swearing in them.

Mod addition:
When the threads are this busy, please resist from posting about how much you’ve had to grunk, how much you have left to grunk, that you’ve just been out and now have to catch up, that you’ve been at work, etc., etc. as it adds nothing and just creates more to catch up on. Thanks all.

 

[Orphan_Black]

 

[SendReceive]

Absolutely creased.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Hahahahaha

 

[jenny2603]

It certainly took a turn....


(My cheeks hurt from laughing, I can't stop, send bad new-o's, I'm going to end up like one of those weasels at the end of Roger Rabbit.)

I'm just sitting here grinning. This is hilarious. I can't believe we're all up watching this unfold. I mean there is a thirty something woman on the internet bragging like a teenage boy about having had sex, claiming to be sober when that hasn't been plausible since Edinburgh and implying everyone is jealous of this aspirational scene. All joking aside, really blown away by this next phase of Jack's career. I wonder if there will be a tie in book- "Public Meltdown on a Bootstrap"?