Jack Monroe #376 Schrödinger's Poor Person

[lucyq]

This is doing my head in - I have not kept up with events at all - who is the other adult in her household? A new Harold? A live-in dog sitter?

 

[Ooointitot]

Millions, actual millions of people do their grocery shopping every week.
Why, I have even done this myself
its quite simple
its not an Antarctic expedition,
it’s something people do in a hurry within their budget and using their experience after their actual work and before going home to their real family who live with them and who they want to nourish, not punish.
duck sake. This is insanity.

 

[heretic]

She’s really pissing me off tonight. The way she laps up all the praise and adulation and grows ever bolder and more full of herself is quite disgusting to witness.

 

[NellieBoo]

View attachment 1533038

Left - fruit and veg calories (estimated using online sources)
5x sweet potatoes 560
1x cucumber 30
8x bananas 800
4x small avocados 640
5x large red onions 315
6x small red onions 174
7x small pears 510
7x small apples 546
1x bag mixed leaf 50
10x small oranges 450
9x medium carrots 225
1x celery bunch 50
1x punnet mushrooms 100
1x bag cherry tomatoes 50
1x punnet plums 200
1x bag leeks 50
Total 4,750

Right - cupboard calories (actuals from Asda website, essentials or smartprice)
1x loaf 800g wholemeal bread 1,848
1x tin 400g chickpeas 592
2x tins 400g peeled plum tomatoes 176
1x tin 400g peach slices 242
1x 1lt apple juice from concentrate 460
1x 1lt skimmed uht milk 370
2x packs 70g instant custard 528 (makes 850ml)
1x pack 200g 10 cheese slices 566
1x pack 250g chocolate chip cookies 1,242
1x tub 200g gravy granules 960 (makes 3l)
1x jar 411g lemon curd 1,146
1x tub 500g low large natural yogurt 280
1x bag 125g roasted and salted cashew nuts 777
1x pack 200g greek style salad cheese 588
1x bag 180g lightly salted tortilla chips 883
1x bag 1kg porridge oats 3,720
1x block 100g dark chocolate 518
Total 14,896

Total calories available for the week 19,646

Calories needed per day
13yo boy 2,414
Adult male 2,500
Adult female 2,000
Total 6,914

Total calories needed for the week 48,398

Calorie balance for the week 28,752 deficit
Or only 40.6% of needed is available

But nevermind, it was all balls. Jack's already managed to disavow what she claimed (what was I saying about weasel words?) before anyone has time to do the maths anyway. To meet the weekly calories buying just the same items her £20 per week spend would be ~£49.27. So she's got 30,000 calories (60% of the food for that week) rattling around in the back of a sideboard or freezer somewhere each week, it's simply not sustainable only buying £20 per week.

Corrections on the back of an envelope.

Now duck off x

Well done. Good post .

 

[Mrs Peel]

View attachment 1533038

Left - fruit and veg calories (estimated using online sources)
5x sweet potatoes 560
1x cucumber 30
8x bananas 800
4x small avocados 640
5x large red onions 315
6x small red onions 174
7x small pears 510
7x small apples 546
1x bag mixed leaf 50
10x small oranges 450
9x medium carrots 225
1x celery bunch 50
1x punnet mushrooms 100
1x bag cherry tomatoes 50
1x punnet plums 200
1x bag leeks 50
Total 4,750

Right - cupboard calories (actuals from Asda website, essentials or smartprice)
1x loaf 800g wholemeal bread 1,848
1x tin 400g chickpeas 592
2x tins 400g peeled plum tomatoes 176
1x tin 400g peach slices 242
1x 1lt apple juice from concentrate 460
1x 1lt skimmed uht milk 370
2x packs 70g instant custard 528 (makes 850ml)
1x pack 200g 10 cheese slices 566
1x pack 250g chocolate chip cookies 1,242
1x tub 200g gravy granules 960 (makes 3l)
1x jar 411g lemon curd 1,146
1x tub 500g low large natural yogurt 280
1x bag 125g roasted and salted cashew nuts 777
1x pack 200g greek style salad cheese 588
1x bag 180g lightly salted tortilla chips 883
1x bag 1kg porridge oats 3,720
1x block 100g dark chocolate 518
Total 14,896

Total calories available for the week 19,646

Calories needed per day
13yo boy 2,414
Adult male 2,500
Adult female 2,000
Total 6,914

Total calories needed for the week 48,398

Calorie balance for the week 28,752 deficit
Or only 40.6% of needed is available

But nevermind, it was all balls. Jack's already managed to disavow what she claimed (what was I saying about weasel words?) before anyone has time to do the maths anyway. To meet the weekly calories buying just the same items her £20 per week spend would be ~£49.27. So she's got 30,000 calories (60% of the food for that week) rattling around in the back of a sideboard or freezer somewhere each week, it's simply not sustainable only buying £20 per week.

Corrections on the back of an envelope.

Now duck off x

This is excellent! Thank you, TFM!

 

[PurpleAnt]

Spoiler: Off topic re: hospitals

I've just been to the walk in emergency centre with a 91 year old relative. He waited eight hours without being seen and without food or drink. There was a queue of at least 10 ambulances outside A&E. Hopefully none of them hot fruit related. But it was sobering.

No wonder the NHS is under a huge strain. Imagine A&E tonight.

 

[Semi_literate_bot]

The only active thing in that household is her crappy imagination.

^^ thread title nom

 

[That Forensic Man]

It's scam post. Not in the uk. Someone asking for $$$.

The pictures are of two different cats, for one.

 

[Justacatindisguise]

Willing to let someone else scam her followers to bury her own grift. Unbelievable.

 

[Moneypenny’sfreedom]

Closest she’s been to helping prisoners’ cook is watching Paddington 2.

 

[ChocolateMuffin]

What her problem with Aldi and Lidl? If she genuinely gave a tuppenny damn about VFM and nutrition she should be all over them, but she seems to have some weird snobbery going on.

Think it's more weird CBA because she absolutely does not give a tit.

She could claim back taxis or bus fare etc IF she'd filed her taxes and /or used her company income to claim/recoup.

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

View attachment 1533038

Left - fruit and veg calories (estimated using online sources)
5x sweet potatoes 560
1x cucumber 30
8x bananas 800
4x small avocados 640
5x large red onions 315
6x small red onions 174
7x small pears 510
7x small apples 546
1x bag mixed leaf 50
10x small oranges 450
9x medium carrots 225
1x celery bunch 50
1x punnet mushrooms 100
1x bag cherry tomatoes 50
1x punnet plums 200
1x bag leeks 50
Total 4,750

Right - cupboard calories (actuals from Asda website, essentials or smartprice)
1x loaf 800g wholemeal bread 1,848
1x tin 400g chickpeas 592
2x tins 400g peeled plum tomatoes 176
1x tin 400g peach slices 242
1x 1lt apple juice from concentrate 460
1x 1lt skimmed uht milk 370
2x packs 70g instant custard 528 (makes 850ml)
1x pack 200g 10 cheese slices 566
1x pack 250g chocolate chip cookies 1,242
1x tub 200g gravy granules 960 (makes 3l)
1x jar 411g lemon curd 1,146
1x tub 500g low large natural yogurt 280
1x bag 125g roasted and salted cashew nuts 777
1x pack 200g greek style salad cheese 588
1x bag 180g lightly salted tortilla chips 883
1x bag 1kg porridge oats 3,720
1x block 100g dark chocolate 518
Total 14,896

Total calories available for the week 19,646

Calories needed per day
13yo boy 2,414
Adult male 2,500
Adult female 2,000
Total 6,914

Total calories needed for the week 48,398

Calorie balance for the week 28,752 deficit
Or only 40.6% of needed is available

But nevermind, it was all balls. Jack's already managed to disavow what she claimed (what was I saying about weasel words?) before anyone has time to do the maths anyway. To meet the weekly calories buying just the same items her £20 per week spend would be ~£49.27. So she's got 30,000 calories (60% of the food for that week) rattling around in the back of a sideboard or freezer somewhere each week, it's simply not sustainable only buying £20 per week.

Corrections on the back of an envelope.

Now duck off x

Thank you! I thought about doing this but couldn’t be arsed. I’m not asking you to do this but it’s also really lacking in fats and protein. While an adult doesn't need much large in their diet, children do.
Even if you added in some pasta, rice, fish and chicken that she says she’s got hanging around, I still don’t think it would make it up to 100%.

she knows duck all about nutrition.

 

[Veronicaaa]

One of the comments club* has liked this.

*~everyone here is so lovely~

 

[FrumpyCat]

Who is purple squig? They have been embroiled in arguments with people calling out Jack for days

Also, liar.

Spoiler: Tw cancer " [QUOTE="Into_the_tunnel, post: 11445282, member: 106578

Wonder who the new adult may be…

View attachment 1532882

Spoiler: Tw cancer " [QUOTE="Into_the_tunnel, post: 11445282, member: 106578

brill? Jack will be saying 'thank you' next.

 

[frostily]

The pictures are of two different cats, for one.

Exactly. I don’t think she’s shared it intentionally, I think she’s just not sharp enough to realise they’re two different cats (despite it being very obvious..)

 

[ForgettyBetty]

View attachment 1533038

Left - fruit and veg calories (estimated using online sources)
5x sweet potatoes 560
1x cucumber 30
8x bananas 800
4x small avocados 640
5x large red onions 315
6x small red onions 174
7x small pears 510
7x small apples 546
1x bag mixed leaf 50
10x small oranges 450
9x medium carrots 225
1x celery bunch 50
1x punnet mushrooms 100
1x bag cherry tomatoes 50
1x punnet plums 200
1x bag leeks 50
Total 4,750

Right - cupboard calories (actuals from Asda website, essentials or smartprice)
1x loaf 800g wholemeal bread 1,848
1x tin 400g chickpeas 592
2x tins 400g peeled plum tomatoes 176
1x tin 400g peach slices 242
1x 1lt apple juice from concentrate 460
1x 1lt skimmed uht milk 370
2x packs 70g instant custard 528 (makes 850ml)
1x pack 200g 10 cheese slices 566
1x pack 250g chocolate chip cookies 1,242
1x tub 200g gravy granules 960 (makes 3l)
1x jar 411g lemon curd 1,146
1x tub 500g low large natural yogurt 280
1x bag 125g roasted and salted cashew nuts 777
1x pack 200g greek style salad cheese 588
1x bag 180g lightly salted tortilla chips 883
1x bag 1kg porridge oats 3,720
1x block 100g dark chocolate 518
Total 14,896

Total calories available for the week 19,646

Calories needed per day
13yo boy 2,414
Adult male 2,500
Adult female 2,000
Total 6,914

Total calories needed for the week 48,398

Calorie balance for the week 28,752 deficit
Or only 40.6% of needed is available

But nevermind, it was all balls. Jack's already managed to disavow what she claimed (what was I saying about weasel words?) before anyone has time to do the maths anyway. To meet the weekly calories buying just the same items her £20 per week spend would be ~£49.27. So she's got 30,000 calories (60% of the food for that week) rattling around in the back of a sideboard or freezer somewhere each week, it's simply not sustainable only buying £20 per week.

Corrections on the back of an envelope.

Now duck off x

Thank you mebbe you tweet it to Kirsty Strickland?

 

[Mrs Peel]

She's irking me much more than normal. I'm pretty certain she thinks she's made it through the Molly exposé unscathed, which is why she's behaving in such a patronising manner towards everyone (including Mr. Private Eye yesterday). That might be her undoing though.

 

[Limey]

Think it's more weird CBA because she absolutely does not give a tit.

She could claim back taxis or bus fare etc IF she'd filed her taxes and /or used her company income to claim/recoup.

Taxes are for the deliciously ordinary people, not smol pixies.

 

[SendReceive]

As a squig has forensically pointed out in a reply to the blue-ticker - apparently the dog isn’t eating this week

 

[katy_beans]

Maybe I’m misunderstanding but is this squig giving Jack credit for the Vimes theory? JM liked the tweet and it has sent me over the edge.